Entertaining Time Thieves—Part 1

Happy New Year! So many make New Year's resolutions. I (Dawn) really do not. And yet, do I?

I've become aware that I have allowed "time thieves" to steal precious hours. One of my goals this year is to "redeem" (buy up) more time that I can use for the Kingdom of God. Hopefully, that is your desire as well.

In this Time Management UPGRADE (which has two parts), I want to help us focus on how we're spending our time. It's a huge topic and a little intimidating, but an important one in light of eternity.

Are you entertaining "time thieves"? What are they stealing, besides your time?

I recently spent two hours "scrolling." It went by so quickly, and I'll never get those two hours back.

I've noticed lately how much time I've spent on frivolous things, or on things that don't matter much in terms of eternity.

For example, as of May 2023, I have loaded 5,359 pins onto Pinterest into 127 categories. I have only once accessed these pins to actually USE any one of the entries!

Why on earth do I continue to load Pinterest pins that I will likely never use?

Yes, it's enjoyable. Yes, I appreciate a place to store things I see that I "like." And yes, I will probably store special recipes. But I've spent far too much time storing recipes I'll never use. It's like shopping for things we don't need.

Waste of time.

Another example. I spend hours on my iPhone scrolling through cute videos, informative videos, funny videos, shocking videos, tear-jerker videos, etc.

It's so easy to do. It's easy to vegetate with my iPhone rather than doing something productive.

Massive waste of time!

Yes, we need time to relax.

Yes, we need time to allow creative juices to form.

But we also need to BE CAREFUL not to waste vast amounts of time. 

Perhaps we might justify scrolling on our iPhone at an airport, waiting for a flight. Or at a doctor's office. But think about that. We have time to scroll, but not to read scripture on a scripture app, or memorize scripture on a memorization app?

God help us to stop justifying our "lack of time." God help me!

We rationalize that we don't have time for a special project—to clean out files, to draft an email, to clean our garage, to write a book or article, to write an encouraging note, etc.—but we had time to pin and scroll.

Unfortunately, many of us don't have a wise strategy for social media use. We so often want the easy-and-not-challenging thing, not the harder-but-more productive thing.

Why is this so important?

We think we have more time to do what's valuable and productive. But the Bible says, don't be so sure! James, Solomon, and Job said we can't be assured of what will happen tomorrow.

... you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. ... You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes (James 4:14 NIV)

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring (Proverbs 27:1 NIV).

My days come and go swifter than the click of knitting needles, and then the yarn runs our—an unfinished life! (Job 7:6 MSG)

One would think I would remember this, having gone through years of struggle for life after my Multiple Myeloma diagnosis.

How soon we forget about the brevity of life!

In light of our short lifespan, Paul encourages us to make "the best use" of our time.

How do we do that? How do we stop entertaining time thieves and make the very best use of our time?

1. Live with an Eternal Perspective.

As noted above, our life is a "mist," a vapor that quickly shows up and then vanishes, like steam rising from a teapot. We make great plans for our future on earth, but they may be cut short. We need to make every "today" count.

Realizing our time is short should help us stop spinning our wheels spiritually and make better choices. We'll want to be more conscious of what we spend time accumulating. We'll also want to consider what we will leave to those who follow us, and the example of time stewardship we are leaving them now.

Also important—living in light of eternity isn't simply a matter of not doing some things; we also won't want to miss any opportunities to go good.

2. Choose Activities with Purpose.

In order to use time wisely, we have to be purposeful. And in order to be purposeful, we need to ask ourselves some questions. Questions like: Why am I doing this? What value does this have for today? What value does this have for eternity? Is this developing my spiritual maturity or hindering it?

It's crucial to plan time purposefully rather than letting it slip through our fingers.

• Plan times of work (Colossians 3:23-24) with purpose. That plan includes doing our best for our earthly boss, remembering that we ultimately serve our heavenly Master. (If we work "for ourselves," that's good to remember too.)
• Plan times of rest (Mark 6:31; Psalm 127:2) with purpose. Plan to re-energize, nap, or "chill out." Plan regular vacations.
• Plan times to be creative with purpose, allowing creativity to bloom into beautiful and functional things to the glory of God (Proverbs 22:29).
• Plan times to shop with purpose—not spending indiscriminately but investing in worthy things, knowing our "wealth" comes from Him (1 Chronicles 29:12-14; 1 Timothy 6:17; Matthew 6:19-21).
• Plan time for growth—invest in personal spiritual growth (Colossians 1:9-10; 2:6-7; 2 Peter 1:5-8; 2 Peter 3:18) and in the lives of others (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:24).
• Plan time to meditate on the use of time, and consider what matters most to God and how we can spend more time on those things. Our time is His, a God-given resource, and He can help us use it best (Proverbs 16:9).

I'm sure you can think of other things to plan for.

The things we plan for will become our priorities, so we must live with intentionality. 

In Part 2, we'll consider two more ways to stop time thieves and make the most of our time.

Are you living with an eternal perspective and making wise choices for good time maneagement? If not, what changes can you make to live with intentionality?

Dawn Wilson, founder of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of Upgrade with Dawn. She works for Revive Our Hearts revival ministry and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters, and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphics adapted, courtesy of PhotoMix-Company and Foto-Retusz at Pixabay.

"Did You Hear?"—Conquering the Gossip Addiction

In this Habits UPGRADE, Dawn encourages Christians to avoid gossipers and conquer the unseemly habit in themselves.

It has been estimated that 80% of our conversations are spent on discussing other people and their habits. In other words, we gossip. A lot.

While that seems high to me—I was thinking maybe 60%—it's still not something a Christian should ever do.

Gossiping is the act of spreading a rumor, or sharing idle talk—sometimes private information—to others in a personal, sensational and intimate way. The act may be malicious, or simply foolish; but God calls it sinful. A "gossiper" habitually spreads "juice" gossip.

Other similar activities include "talebearing," "whispering," giving an ill or "evil report," and slandering.

It's no small thing.

The Old Testament says, "He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter" and "He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip" (Proverbs 11:13; 20:19).

Slanderers are called fools (Proverbs 10:18), and whisperers hurt and destroy others (Proverbs 18:8).

Have you ever noticed how gossip is usually passed on in whispers? We don't want others to know we're sharing "secrets." Whispering creates conflict, so we need to be careful not to add fuel to the flames (Proverbs 26:20).

That's all Old Testament truth, but the New Testament is even more pointed.

The New Testament word for gossipers is also "whisperers," but also "babbler." Paul said the pagans were gossipers (Romans 1:29), but even those in the church could arrogantly slander others and gossip (2 Corinthians 12:20-21)—two of the sins that grieved the Apostle Paul.

Gossiping and whispering was a problem for idle young widows, Paul said (1 Timothy 5:13). He called them "busybodies." He instructed women not to be "malicious gossips" (1 Timothy 3:11). 

Perhaps people who gossip think it's justified because the information is true; but gossip is sharing information that shouldn't be shared with people who are not part of the problem or the solution—even if it is the truth.

Pride may also be involved. We can delight in sharing something "confidentially" that we know others  might not know.

Also, our "Did you hear?" information may not be loving or kind.

Listening to others' gossip makes us a willing accomplice (Proverbs 17:4), and it contaminates our inner life as well.

If we wouldn't say it directly to the person who is the subject of the information, we shouldn't ever share it with others. (Maybe there's one exception—if that person is in direct danger.)

So, maybe that 80% statistic is something we need to think about.

As I've pondered this, I thought of some hard questions Christ-followers probably need to ask themselves:

1. Am I driven to tell others' "secrets"? Am I addicted to gossip—compulsive about it?
   
2. Are people avoiding telling me things—maybe because they wonder if I will "pass it along" to others?
3. When have I justified my whispering?
4. Do I share "prayer requests" that are really gossip?
5. Do people often approach me to share "juicy" information? What does that say about me?
6. Have I ever betrayed a confidence in my sharing?
7. How do I know the difference between good sharing vs. gossip? (Is there really a "fine line"? If so, what is it?)
8. What do I feel like after I share information about others?
9. Is God pleased by what I share with others?
10. Is this a destructive habit I need to break?

The Bible warns repeatedly about gossip, so God thinks it is serious.

I need to take gossip as seriously as God does!

Sometimes we get caught up in a gossip session and aren't sure what to do. Like the old proverb, "We can't avoid the bird flying over our head, but we can prevent him from building a nest in our hair," there are a number of steps we can take to cut a gossip session short.

Five Steps to Take in Dealing with Gossipers

1. Confront Gossipers

Stand up to people who gossip by saying you don't want to know about what they're trying to tell you. Be polite yet firm. It's not refusing to participate, it's holding others accountable. Jesus holds high value on our words (Matthew 12:36-37).

2. Change the Subject

Sometimes we can distract people from gossiping by changing the subject. Remember Ephesians 4:29 and consider whether the words are "unwholesome" or helpful in building people up and encouraging them.

3. Challenge the Information

Pieces of information may be missing or incorrect. Sometimes by asking questions, we can figure out a problem in a shared story, or see how the gossip is unreliable. We can correct untruths and give those being attacked the benefit of the doubt until there is more proof. We may not have all the facts, or understand the motives of their hearts (1 Corinthians 2:11).

In the case of serious sin, there are biblical principles for confronting this through church discipline (Matthew 18:15-17; 1 Corinthians 5:1-13)—and it does not include gossip!

4. Choose Positive Conversations

Think about things that are excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).

Consider that those being gossiped about also have positive qualities. Try to focus on and express those to others.

5. Call on the Lord

With all the gossiping going on, a good practice is to turn gossip targets into the objects of our prayers. Isn't it better to talk to the Lord instead of other people about the possible failings and negative stories we hear? We are to pray about everything (Philippians 4:6), and that includes the "whispers" of gossip.

We can ask the Holy Spirit to intervene if there is an actual problem, to overcome the attacks on good reputations, and to bless those who are persecuted through gossip. God wants us to be peacemakers (Matthew 5:9), and that begins with sincere prayers.

And if YOU have a Gossip Addiction, use these five steps on yourself!

• Confront the unwise use of your tongue.
• Change your thinking and consider ways to build others up.
• Challenge the information—be intentional about asking questions to discover truth before you jump into a gossip session.
• Choose transformed thinking (Romans 12:2) rather than the easy way of gossip.
• Call out to God for wisdom and the Holy Spirit for help in overcoming this sinful habit. You are already an overcomer in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57). Lay hold of that power.
  

Instead of "Did you hear?," ask, "How can I get the victory today, Lord?"

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, at Revive Our Hearts, a blogger at TrueWoman.com, writes wiki-type posts at  Christianity.com, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Ben White at Unsplash.

Quarantine, Cameras and Accountability

Kolleen Lucariello—winsome and wise—speaks truth into women's lives while challenging them to live a joy-filled life. In this Accountability UPGRADE, she encourages us to accept responsibility and move closer to our identity in the Lord.Kolleen says, “I realized the COVID-19 crisis was beginning to cause a Kolleen crisis when I detected fear and frustration were expanding through loneliness, boredom and inactivity.”

I (Dawn) have had a few "Dawn crises" over my lifetime, and they usually came when I tried to face tough things alone or make excuses for my failures. Not a good idea, as Kolleen explains.

Kolleen continues . . .

When the quarantine took over daily life, I was invited to join a ZOOM exercise class led by my friend Chrissy’s daughter. Having never experienced a class like this one, and craving interaction with others, I decided to give it a try.

The first class was …well… it wasn’t exactly an attractive display of technique, as I became painfully aware of my lack of ability. 

Truth-be-told, I was a bit intimidated by those in her class who were far more advanced than I. When Chrissy told me she participates with her camera “off,” a great sense of relief washed over me.

When I signed in to the next class, before one stretch began, I turned the camera to “off” and felt the freedom to do my thing.

After a few weeks of participation, I began to recognize a poor pattern had developed in my effort within the class.

While I could see Rachel, the instructor, she could not see me.

I was hidden behind my photo on her screen rather than a live-video feed. There were moments when, while she was encouraging her class to “hold it for just four more counts,” I was allowing excuses to fill my mind for why I was unable to do what she was asking.

I can tell you, every excuse was valid:

• My hands and wrists hurt immensely.
• I am not as fit as I used to be, nor am I as strong as I once was.
• My legs shake.
• My core is weak.
• When she asks me to pull my belly button in, it’s nearly impossible for me to convince my rebellious belly button to surrender itself to my effort.
• The hour I spend in class is difficult.
• It is uncomfortable.
• It also requires effort and a willingness to push through all discomfort. Some days I don’t.

During one particularly arduous class, I laid on the floor for a good portion of the leg workout listening to my body expound on the reasons for its protests. The excuses for its inability to commit to the workout seemed reasonable.

Finally, the discomfort within my body held a greater sway over any disappointment I would feel by quitting.

With my camera off, no one could see what I was—or was not—doing.

As I lay on the floor, listening rather than doing, I became aware of how susceptible we become to old habits and mindsets when accountability is lacking.

Without the accountability of Rachel being able to see me, it became quite easy for me to give a less-than-my-best-effort. She encourages the class to “get lower” or “push through the discomfort,” confirming to us that she understands our legs are shaking and the work is hard, but she’s pushing us to not give up because she recognizes growth, strength and change come through persistent effort.  

With accountability defined by Merriam-Webster as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions,” it seems impossible to deny accountability, when used correctly, is a gift to us—prompting change and growth. After all, don’t we have an obligation to accept responsibility for our own actions?

Accountability brings upgrade when we find ourselves willing to allow a trusted friend or mentor to help us see areas in our life where we’ve permitted excuses and blame to keep us from accepting responsibility.

How Does Accountability Help Us?

1. Our faith takes on a new form of growth when we become accountable to one another.

This means we allow someone to see what is behind the camera.

While it is tempting to share only the highlight reel of our lives rather than expose our difficulties, this creates an illusion that “all is well” when in reality, it might not be.

2. Our faith is strengthened when we acknowledge our need to pull from the wisdom God has put within others.

Solomon wrote,

“Though good advice lies deep within the heart, a person with understanding will draw it out” (Proverbs 20:5 NLT).

When you perceive the wisdom of God in someone—draw it out!

Listen when they say, “I understand your world is shaking right now” or “I know this hard, but you can do it!”

3. Accountability stands guard against the bad habits that continue to haunt us and then shame us, but it requires courage.

Accepting responsibility truly is a gift that moves us closer to our true identity in Christ.

Proverbs 19:20 says,

“Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life” (NLT).

It’s time for me to turn the camera on! This will allow Rachel to see where I am weak and struggling—right now—but will also allow her to point out where she sees strength and growth.

What about you? Is your camera set to off? Perhaps you’d find more freedom if it was on.

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of the devotional book, The ABC's of Who God Says I Am; and as a speaker, she speaks into women's lives "one letter at a time." Kolleen and her high school sweetheart, Pat, reside in Central New York. She's a mother of three married children and Mimi to six incredible grandkids. For more information about Kolleen, visit her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of StockSnap at Pixabay.