Celebrate Well-Behaved Women Making History!

Morgan Farr is a woman of strength and wisdom. I always enjoy her unique insights. In this Biblical Womanhood UPGRADE during Women's History Month, she points to women in biblical history who have made a difference."Did you know," Morgan says, "that one of the most famous women’s empowerment quotes is actually a twisting of praise for Christian women?"

That question certainly piqued my (Dawn's) interest!

Morgan continues . . .

We are in the middle of the month of March, which means that if you hop onto any social media platform you will likely be bombarded with the celebration of women from across the globe. It's Women’s History Month.

Quotes from famous women, quotes about world-changing women, and quotes celebrating women are flying across social media at the moment.

But one in particular stands out to me:

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.”

We see this quote on pins, stickers, and water bottles. It is often used as a sort of rallying cry for women to behave badly, which is a bit ironic, given the source.

This quote actually came from an academic paper published by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. She was talking about the funeral sermons of Christian women.

I want to share how to upgrade your walk with well-behaved women who made history.

The idea behind Ulrich’s quote is that the women who live quiet lives tend to be overlooked by history, not that women should be poorly-behaved in order to make history.

At first, we want to react against this, but even in the Christian culture, it is the women who stepped out of line that are most often remembered.

In preparation for this article, I did a social media poll and asked my followers to name five women in the Bible.

These were the names I got and who they are:

• Eve ate the fruit from the forbidden tree (Genesis 3:6).
• Sarah laughs at the idea that she would get pregnant in her old age (Genesis 18:10-15).
• Rahab was a prostitute (Joshua 2:1).
• Bathesheba was married when she was taken by King David, who then murdered her husband (2 Samuel 11:2-17).
• Mary was pregnant out of wedlock (Luke 1:26-35).
• Ruth bucked tradition by following her mother-in-law (Ruth 1:8-22).
• Esther challenged a king (Esther 4:1-14; 5:1-8; 7:1-10; 8:1-16).

All of these women stand out in some way because of their stories.

Initially I was going to use the word salacious or maybe scandalous stories, but really, these women just had big stories. They are the major names that people think of with the term “women in the Bible.''

After that things start to get a little fuzzy and people really have to stretch for the names of other women.

Understanding Bible history and how women interact with it matters.

I find that knowing the Bible helps me in my everyday walk with Christ. Being a constant student of the Word is a crucial aspect of our faith. We are told in Ecclesiastes 1:9 that there is nothing new under the sun. If I am struggling with something in my life, looking to the Bible can help me see next steps and to make decisions.

Consider some examples of faithful women who followed God’s call for their lives, even with the threat of death.

These women do not often have entire Bible studies written about them unlike many of the women listed above, but their contributions to Christianity show that God’s plan is perfect, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

1. Shiphrah and Puah

These ladies were midwives who bravely stood up to Pharaoh when he ordered the murder of children (Exodus 1:15-21).

2. Deborah

She was a prophet and a judge who led Israel with honor and integrity when she stepped into a leadership vacuum (Judges 4:4-24; 5:1-31).

3. Priscilla

She was a tentmaker who traveled with her husband to share the gospel and invited Paul into her home (Acts 18:1-3, 18-19, 26).

4. Lydia

Lydia was a gentile woman. She was at a prayer gathering when Paul and Timothy came to preach, and she converted to Christianity. She led her family to Christ and used her wealth as a textile merchant to support the early church (Acts 16:12-15, 40).

5. Joanna

She followed Jesus after He healed her, she supported the apostles, stayed with Jesus when crowds turned against him, stayed during the crucifixion, and went to the tomb where she was one of the first to learn of Jesus’ resurrection (Luke 8:1-3; 23:49, 55-56; and 24:1-10).

What can we learn from these ladies?

• When a boss asks you to do something that goes against your scruples? Shiphrah and Puah.
• When you want to be involved in the church but you don’t know how? Take a note from Priscilla and open your home.
• Does your church support missions? Lydia would tell you to give generously.

Of course, none of this is to say that we as women cannot learn from men in the Bible, or that men can’t learn from women in the Bible. But when my four-year-old daughter asked why the stories in her children’s Bible are mostly about boys, I am now able to tell her of the women who have made a difference in our faith—women she can look up to, women she can follow as they followed God.

For all of the women we listed today, there are thousands, millions even, who faithfully lived out the call that God had for their lives without ever having their name recorded.

It can be easy in the drudgery of everyday life to wonder if your life has meaning, if you are making a difference.

Remember:

When you are loving God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength while loving your neighbor as yourself, you are working for the Lord.

Your daily walk with Him matters.

In this month of celebrating women’s history, we celebrate the well-behaved women who are making history today.

What woman in your history made a difference in your life?

Morgan Farr is a succulent-cultivating, book nerd, aspiring author. She spends her days homeschooling her four young children and training her working dogs. As an Army wife, Morgan has learned to lean heavily on Jesus as she walks out military life. She is the Director fo Publishing at Planting Roots, a minitry for military women and wives. You can connect with Morgan on all major social media channels using her handle: morgandfarr.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Aaron Burden at Unsplash.

Upgrade Your F.I.R.E.

Morgan Farr models her faith in her home, teaching her children the relevance of life in Christ to every part of their lives. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she shares her plan for lighting a fire in their hearts for God.

"Have you ever watched a fire? It seems to have a life all it's own," Morgan says.

Like Morgan, I (Dawn) homeschooled my children for many years. Those were challenging years, but also rewarding. Beyond educating my boys, my main goal was to teach them Christian character. I appreciate Morgan's fresh approach on parenting and education as she says, "Upgrade your F.I.R.E."

Morgan continues . . .

A fire dances, frolics, and bends—depending on how the air around it is moving. Fire can be an incredible force for good or a horrific impetus for evil—depending on who sets the fire and why. 

William Butler Yeats is credited with saying, "Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”

Allow me to share with you how I use F.I.R.E. to guide my children as individuals. 

First, I AM NOT a parenting expert, psychologist, or pediatrician. I do not hold advanced degrees in education or theology.

WHAT I AM is a follower of Christ listening to the Holy Spirit as I train my children in the way they should go.

I have two boys in first grade, a girl in pre-K, and a girl who is learning to sit up unassisted. When I first started homeschooling—three years ago—I wanted them to be successful and to thrive, so I copied what I knew from school.

I was so focused on “keeping up” that I lost sight of my kids as individuals.

I needed to shift my way of thinking.

After discovering some incredible homeschooling advocates and writers, I was able to grow and learn in my understanding of my children as unique individuals.

I now frame our time using the acronym F.I.R.E.

F — Focus

We all have 24 hours in a day. Are we using that time wisely?

I have found that planning out our week, month, and year help us to be able to make solid choices and free us up.

This means saying no to a lot of good things so that I can say yes to the best things.

I — Ignite

Every fire is started; fires do not just randomly happen. Sometimes they are ignited by lightning, and sometimes by man. But fire has to be brought to life.

Guess who is responsible for lighting a fire in your kids? YOU! 

Obviously a huge part of igniting the fire of faith in your children is reading the Bible. But using other resources like art, literature, and the world around you can also help a lot, especially if you have a visual learner.

In our home we read a LOT of books. We just finished a book on Greek mythology for children. For anyone that doesn’t know, mythology can be really dark. It is all origin stories, cause and effect, and interrelational drama.

Was it a Christian book? Nope.
Did I use it to teach about Christ? You bet!

In every story, we talk about what went right and what went wrong.

• Was the problem caused by misunderstanding or sin?
• If we were in the hero’s position, how could we make a choice that honors God?
• How do you think the villain ended up in the position that he is in?

Teach them to look for God and to follow the Holy Spirit’s lead by talking through problems and situations so that, when the time comes, the fire is already lit and they are ready to shine for Him.

R — Repel

When I say repel, I mean to get rid of anything that distracts from God’s calling.

What music, movies, books, or podcasts are you as a family taking in?

Keep in mind that you are to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:5); and in order to train someone, you have to know how to train yourself.

• Are you telling your teenagers “no porn”—while watching 'Game of Thrones'?
• Are you teaching about being a good steward of your finances—while racking up your Target credit card?
• Do you struggle to have a time in the Word—but you're up to date on the latest Netflix shows?

Study your individual children and learn where they struggle. Let them see you struggle so they know that struggle is normal and victory through Christ is possible.

E — Embark

The last portion of my education motto is Embark. We are not called to develop all this theological knowledge and then sit in our big houses.

Model your faith. Show your children how to use it.

• I have a friend that is a brilliant cellist. She uses her talent to lead worship for the elderly in a nursing home. 
• My friend Rachel has never met a stranger. She uses her extroverted personality to welcome newcomers to the military lifestyle by being a kind and caring friend.
• My sister-in-law is a missionary that uses her incredible sewing skills to teach new missionaries how to make their own clothing in the local style.

What can you do with your children to teach them to use their skills and talents for God?

Is one of your kids really into baseball? What if he offered to coach younger kids for 30 minutes once a week… for free?

Do you have a child that loves to read? What if that child read scripture to an elderly neighbor once a week?

Be creative, but get out and serve God!

Igniting a F.I.R.E. in your children takes work and intentionality.

Parenting doesn’t happen in convenient chunks. It is an all day, every day marathon.

Romans 12: 11 says, “Never let the fire in your heart go out. Keep it alive. Serve the Lord.”

If you are wanting to encourage your children to be like Christ you must be fanning the fire in your own heart and serving God with everything you have. 

Are you on fire for God? How could you help your children to be on fire for the Lord?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, developing her four young children, and tackling homeschool life… while moving all over the country. Morgan believes in integrity, authenticity, and grit. Although she writes for many different publications, you can almost always find Morgan’s most recent ramblings on her blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Comfreak at Pixabay.

Photo is of Morgan with her children.

Mother Was Right—What My Mother Taught Me and Why It Matters Now

Janice Thompson is my sister-in-love. We share a love for her mom, Adele Wilson. In this Mother's Day UPLIFT, Jan shares some of the powerful lessons she learned from her mother—lessons all of us in the "Wilson clan" have come to love and appreciate—and I hope they encourage you as well.

"I vividly remember the day when as a young adult I said to myself, 'Wow, Mom was right!'" Janice says. "Perhaps you look forward to the day your child "gets it" too!"

Yes, I (Dawn) remember a moment of awareness. I'd thought my own Mom didn't understand the complexities of today's culture, but as it turned out, the principles that guided her life were timeless—much like those that guided Adele Wilson.

Janice continues . . .

Mom and Dad grew up together in a children’s home, each having lost a parent at a very tender age. Raised with 180 other children they called family, they both speak with gratitude of the care they received and the friends they made.

They also, however, determined when they married to try to create what they had missed—a welcoming home and intimate family life.

Mom is the first to admit they were clueless where to start, but God had His hand on them. They became Christ-followers shortly after marriage and immediately began to seek His wisdom. Between their study of Scripture and surrounding themselves with Christian families they wanted to emulate, they look back on their 72 years of marriage and trace God’s hand throughout their journey.

They are now enjoying the fruit of that dogged determination as they changed the course of their family’s trajectory and created a living legacy that has left a blessed imprint on three successive generations.

Mom gave me many gifts—including ones I didn’t always appreciate at the moment! I still marvel at how, without a mother’s role model, God gifted her with extraordinary wisdom.

She was undeterred during my adolescent years—that unpaved section of life—when I burst out in a tearful, “You don’t understand me!” She was on a mission, however, and nothing stopped her from standing firm on every value she held dear.

Here is my short list of what she taught me then and why it matters to me now.

1. Pursuit of God’s best. “If you’re going to do a job, do it right—the first time.”

If I were ever tempted to skim the surface, I’d best think again. I dreaded her white glove inspection of my half-hearted dusting chore. Good enough simply wasn’t. God deserved the best I could give, and I was never to short-change Him or her!

Gratefully, she was relentless, and that value served me well in my academic pursuit, career path, and raising my own children.  

2. Pursuit of Family Harmony. Conflict resolution was a non-negotiable. Frustration, even anger, were acceptable expressions as long as it wasn’t accompanied by disrespect, yelling, or fighting.

In Mom’s words, “There is enough fighting in this world; when you entered the doors of our home, it will be a place of peace, joy, and support.”

Mom had mastered conflict resolution skills that somehow allowed me to feel valued and heard even as I stewed in my anger. This led to a joy-filled home where my friends longed to be. Laughter was the norm, and my friends were always welcomed.

I found myself applying those same conflict resolution skills as we raised our children and in turn, enjoyed the blessing of being “mom” to many of our children’s friends as well.

3. Pursuit of Wise Stewardship. This one still amazes me as I see how much she taught me about God’s values concerning the use of time, talent and treasure. Let me start with...

TIME: Mom loved and served sacrificially. She worked long and hard, yet would always greet me with a cup of tea when I’d come home from a date no matter the lateness of the hour. She enjoyed sharing every detail of my experiences and used those late night chats to help shape my values.

I realized shortly after marriage how much she shaped my wishlist for my life’s partner and kept me from settling for less than God’s best. My husband is still my best friend, and I have Mom to thank for helping me understand that priority.

TALENT: Giving more than you take was another top priority. Mom taught me to always look for ways to contribute. If you are faithful with what God has put in your hand, He will, in turn, bless you with more to give.

I can’t begin to describe all the ways that value has played out in my life.

TREASURE: Wise financial stewardship was another non-negotiable.

Mom (and Dad) always put God first, spent less than they earned, avoided the use of debt, worked toward long-term goals, and were generous toward others. Those habits prepared them to live comfortably now.

That example also prepared me for a career helping others wisely steward their resources and their families.  

4. Pursuit of a Proverbs 31 Woman.  Mom was—and still is—a very beautiful and strong, independent woman. She modeled pushing through obstacles to achieve goals.

While always supportive, it was not her job to make life easy for me. She taught me to own my mistakes, minimize excuses, and figure out how to resourcefully get back on track.

She believed in me when I felt vulnerable and encouraged me to step into my calling even if it didn’t look “normal” or “traditional.” My subsequent career path landed me in what years ago used to be considered a man’s world. I ignored gender, however, and never allowed inferiority to keep me from starting my own company. Mom taught me to push through the hard stuff and count my blessings with every opportunity to make an impact.

Like my Mom, you have little control over the legacy you inherited, but a great deal of influence over what you leave behind.

Since a legacy is inevitable, I encourage you to make it intentional because wisdom is challenging to transfer without it. Experiences and how you leverage them can turn brokenness into a blessing even when it doesn’t look like it at first glance. You don’t have to be perfect; just authentic and tenacious.

We have the powerful ability ever day to leave a lasting imprint on those we touch.

Prov 31:30-31 says,

She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed….

Charm is deceitful and beautiy is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised....let her own works praise her in the gates.

Mom, you were right on every point and I rise up today and call you blessed.

What makes you unique because of the legacy you’ve received? What value or wisdom point can you change or build upon to make the biggest difference in future generations you influence?  

Janice Thompson is the co-Founder and CEO of One Degree Advisors, Inc., a comprehensive wealth management firm focused on biblically-based financial solutions. Janice is a Certified Financial Planner®, a Life Stewardship Advisor, and serves on the Board of Directors of Kingdom Advisors. She has two married children with three grandsons and one granddaughter. She and her husband Tom live in San Diego.

God's Road Map for Woman

Morgan Farr is a young mom with many talents, but I'm most impressed with how she grew into a fresh understanding of womanhood—and how she shares it with others. In this Biblical Womanhood UPGRADE, she invites us to think carefully about who we are.

"Navigating the societal expectations for women can seem a lot like tightrope walking. One wrong step and you’re done," Morgan says. "Thankfully God laid out a road map for us long before we knew we needed it."

I (Dawn) appreciate this strong perspective, but I know this is also true: sometimes we're not willing to "see" and study the map because we don't like the destination. I'm grateful for Morgan's biblical stance.

Morgan continues . . .  

Anything involving women, let alone biblical womanhood, is a touchy subject in today’s world.

Feminism and its proponents shriek about equality and how oppressed everyone is, while simultaneously trying to force us to believe and follow their mantra. 

I read recently about a college that now recognizes 23 different gender identities, so that no one feels left out. Apparently calling someone female who doesn’t feel female is oppressing. If we do that, we are trying to keep her down.

Back when I was in college there were only two; male and female. And I believe that—despite what media may tell us—that is still true.

Even a quick glance through the Bible will show you the following three things.

1) We were made male and female, in the image of God.

The reality is, “God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). When He created each one of us, He knew exactly what He was doing.

There is no third, fourth, or fifth sex. There is male and female, period.

2) Not all women are called to do the same things.

We live in a world that celebrates androgyny. Little girls can’t play with dolls and tea set while little boys can not play with trucks and toys guns or we are forcing gender stereotypes on them.

Let me tell you from experience: even if you gave a little boy a doll, he will turn it into a “gun”. Boys are hardwired to provide and protect. Girls are hardwired to love and nurture.

This doesn’t mean women need to be "barefoot and pregnant" in the kitchen all their lives. God does call some women to extraordinary things. Look at Deborah in the Bible. Her story is awesome! But we are not all called to be Deborahs. Some of us are called to be a Mary, Anna or Ruth. And that is ok.

As long as each woman is closely seeking after God’s heart her purpose in life will become clear. That may mean running a Fortune 500 company. That may mean serving your family in love daily. That is between each woman and God.

3) Women are not second-class citizens.

Women are not to be ashamed of being female. We were designed specifically by God to be the helpmate of man.

We live in a fallen world, and as such, people sin. Throughout history women have not been treated as equals—not because God is mean, but because man sins. The Bible is very clear that men are to “love their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). He designed us for His glory.

We are the exact match to man’s job of glorifying God. While man does it through sacrifice, we do it through submission.

Christ submitted to His Father and died on the cross for our sins. Both are necessary to show the true magnitude of Christ’s death for our sins, a debt we could never have paid on our own.

Don’t give up on being the woman that God has called you to be. Stand firm in your faith and fulfil the role that God made you for, whatever that may be.

How can you better follow God's road map for women today?

Morgan Farr is an Army wife currently stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, with her wonderful husband Brian and their sons, William and Henry. Morgan is a homemaker who dedicates her free time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one interactions and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog, The Forgiven Former Feminist. You can find her thoughts on fitness, C-Section recovery, and training programs on her other blog, Farr Functional Fitness.

How to Enhance Your Femininity

Morgan Farr has explored the topic of femininity and biblical womanhood extensively on her blog, and I asked her to write a Womanhood UPGRADE for us.

Morgan asks an important question: "Do you stand out as a woman of God or do you blend in with the world?"

For some time now, I (Dawn) have thought about the images the secular media feeds girls and women about what it means to be a woman, and I've grieved over the confusion and heartache I see in so many women's lives. So I truly appreciate Morgan's insight.

Morgan continues ...

God called us to be set apart and I believe that calling has more to it than just going to church on Sunday. I believe that our lives should be a testament to His glory. One of the most basic ways that we can praise God’s magnificence is in being who He made us to be … women!

Proverbs is chock full of excellent examples of how both men and women should behave, potential pitfalls, and rewards that come from working in the sphere of influence to which God assigned you.

God designed men to be masculine and women to be feminine.

It sounds so easy. If you are female, just be feminine ... right?

Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world.

On one hand, this world encourages androgyny between the sexes; on the other hand, it celebrates an unattainable hyper sexuality (i.e., Victoria’s Secret). This takes place all while mocking Biblical womanhood and true femininity. It can be so hard to know where you fit in as a woman of God!

Here are my steps to increasing femininity:

1. Celebrate your femininity

Thank God for the gift of your femininity.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.”

God knew from the beginning what color of hair you would have, what color your eyes would be, and that you were going to be a woman. God has designed and set out a perfect role for you to reflect the Lord of all creation’s love as a daughter of the King. How awesome is that?

2. Pray about your femininity

If femininity is something that you struggle with, ask God for help.

1 Chronicles 16:11 says, “Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.”

God’s plan for you and your family is awesome. He wants you to revel in your femininity. He designed you to His perfect specification, and that includes the fact that you are female!

3. Enhance your femininity

Femininity looks different for different people; it is all about what helps you to feel feminine.

For some ladies that could be as simple as wearing a skirt, a pretty scarf or a broach. For other ladies, femininity is an attitude ... or acts of service. I feel the most feminine when I am making food for a house full of people.

I have to say, femininity is something that I have struggled with in my personal life for a long time.

As a weightlifter, I hear a lot of questions about femininity. People ask me everything from how I manage to feel like a girl when I participate in such a masculine sport, to asking if my husband is able to see me as feminine.

It isn’t easy; there is a constant battle of maintaining a healthy balance.

Elisabeth Elliot has a quote that I adore. She said:

“The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.” - Elisabeth Elliot

I think that sums up biblical womanhood and femininity for Christian women. We aren’t called to blend in to this world; we are called to stand out as daughters of the King!

What can you do to use your femininity to show the glory of God?

Morgan Farr is an Army wife currently stationed at Fort Bragg in Fayetteville, North Carolina. She and her wonderful husband Brian are expecting their first child in just two weeks! She is a homemaker that dedicates her free time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring and physical training. Morgan writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.