How to Become a More Influential Storyteller

Maria Keckler knows how to build effective bridges between people and to her audiences. In this Influence UPGRADE, she helps us focus on the gift of storytelling.

“Jesus got the attention of his audiences, stirred their emotions, and helped them remember key messages because he presented principles through the best communication vehicle at our disposal: Story,” Maria says.

“You have an important message to share. Shouldn’t it be delivered well?”

Brevity is not my (Dawn's) strength in public speaking, and I can learn from Maria today; but I know the power of storytelling in driving a message home. Thankfully, both are skills we can learn.

Maria continues . . . 

“Stacie, my sixteen-year-old daughter, was outgoing and beautiful, full of hopes and dreams. Until one man destroyed them in a single moment. He stalked our family for two weeks and waited until Stacie was home alone….”

Lorraine’s gripping story spells out one key message: Through the power of Jesus, one can forgive and still make an impact despite terrible loss.

You can become a more influential communicator—whether sharing your testimony or your next marketing idea—by learning to be a more compelling storyteller.

Sometimes a Powerful Story is Only ONE Chapter of a Bigger Story.

Lorraine’s story of loss and forgiveness is by no means her complete testimony as a disciple of Jesus Christ. It is, however, one chapter God is using to bring thousands of incarcerated men and women to faith through her prison ministry.

So the question at hand is—how do we share powerful stories, without rambling, so that we earn the right to share more or have the opportunity to influence others in positive ways?

Four Steps to Sharing Stories Like Jesus Did

First: Embrace empathy.

How? Learn to consider the needs of your audiences. You can read more about what that looks like in my previous article.

Second: Share only one story at a time.

Whether he addressed the Pharisees, the masses, or his disciples—Jesus shared one complete story at a time. Each story had a clear beginning, middle, and end that drove home a key message for a particular audience.

Third: Choose vivid word pictures.

Jesus’ stories were rich with concrete and vivid details that evoked the senses.

Even today, we can almost see and smell the oil and wine the Good Samaritan poured on the wounds of the beaten traveler. We can picture the Prodigal Son contemplating the food of swine—and leap with joy as the father runs to welcome him home.

Fourth: Practice brevity.

In the words of Max Lucado, “We learn brevity from Jesus. His greatest sermon can be read in eight minutes (Matthew 5-7). His best-known story can be read in 90 seconds (Luke 15:11-32). He summarized prayer in five phrases (Matthew 6:9-13), and he reduced all his teachings to one command (John 15:12). He made his point and went home.” 

Bottom line:

We all must overcome the temptation to share our entire life story or grand idea in one sitting. It’s helpful to think of our opportunity to share as one piece of a larger story.

Start applying the previous lessons by answering these questions: 

1. What stories do I want or need to share with others?
2. What story is best suited for the audience God has given me today?
3. What is the key takeaway of my story?
4. What vivid details can I use to evoke my audience’s senses?
5. How can I be as brief as Jesus?

God is using one of Lorraine’s stories to bring a message of hope, forgiveness, and redemption to imprisoned men and women. As you continue preparing to share yours well, God will provide a larger audience for you too. 

Maria Keckler is the author of Bridge-Builders: How Superb Communicators Get What They Want in Business and in Life. Maria is an executive coach, corporate trainer, and the President of Superb Communication. With her husband, Sam, Maria has also been helping married couples improve their communication. Check out Maria's blog!

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Andrew Phillips, Stocksnapio.

How to Turn 'Tough Things' into Treasure

Lisa Copen has lived for nearly 21 years with degenerative rheumatoid arthritis. Out of her struggle, she created an entire ministry to help people cope with chronic illness. I wanted her to encourage us in a Life UPGRADE.

“Living with illness,” Lisa says, “is like sitting on a pottery wheel as a soft lump of clay,” Lisa says.                             

I (Dawn) think Lisa’s insights about illness can be applied to all of our lives, no matter our circumstances. Whatever our "tough thing" in life, God can transform it into treasure on His potter's wheel; He delights in redeeming us and making us "new" (see Jeremiah 18:3-5; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Revelation 21:5).

Lisa continues…

“It doesn't matter how long we sit on the pottery wheel or what shape we are, as long as the hands of illness keep touching our life, we will be reshaped into something new.”

Here are the top things I have learned through 21 years of illness:

1. Do it – whatever your “it” is – even when you don’t feel well.
There will be a million times it will be tempting to cancel. Don’t. Learn to push through.

The memories of the times I said “yes” and did something despite pain are the joys I treasure.

2. Utilize tools to live as fully as possible.
Whatever your limitations are there is likely a tool that can help. Don't use the tools to compare who you once were with who you are now.

Be grateful someone came before you and was determined to not let their limitations stand in the way, making it easier for you.

3. Get out of the house.
We all need a change of scenery. Seeing the same dirty dishes and dingy walls can quickly send you into depression. Walk outside and sit on the patio. Go to the local coffee house and check your email. Go to a movie, even if it’s alone.

Will it cure everything? No, but it will put you back into the world and make your bed look even more appealing at the end of the day.

4. Practice communication.
No matter how wonderful you think your relationships are, there is room for improvement. Facing day after day of pain can make any relationship tense, and people make be reluctant to talk to you about your attitude or how you constantly speak of your symptoms.

We can easily blame our circumstances for our temper, attitude, and outlook and expect people around us to just accept it and cater to our needs and moods. This is a perfect storm brewing. Ask close friends how you can improve your friendship. Make sure your marriage is safe from underlying resentments that are buried that can one day shatter the relationship.

5. Practice taking care of yourself.
The more you do it, the easier it will become.

Pride, shame, and not wanting to be a burden by asking people to accommodate our needs gets in the way of our well-being – both physically and emotionally. As you accept yourself for who you are, others will do the same.

6. Determine the purpose of your life and what you will rely on.
Obviously this is a big one! But what is going to hold you together when you have little support of friends, your body is falling apart, and all the feel-good-tips no longer work? For me, it is my faith. I have great faith in God and I believe He not only has a purpose for my life, but I have seen how He has used my disease in many ways.

This has given me the strength to hold on when there is no reason to hang on. It gets me up out of bed each day, and without it I would quickly wilt on my own strength. You are going to need a foundation of strength. Start seeking now.

7. Consider what you want your legacy to be.
What kind of person do you want to be, and what do you hope people will recall about you someday? Were you one who was always sighing and complaining about how no one understood your circumstances? Or did you show grace and character that taught those around you how one can be faithful through the fires?

Rather than overcoming your circumstance, make it part of your character.

My illness is intertwined with every part of who I am. Yet, life is good. I must choose to make it that way each day.

The words "chronic illness" don't bother me. I embraced them long ago, because I don't see them as a curse, but rather as the largest chisel in my life that will determine who I am.

Some days, it isn't so pretty. I am hopeful, however, that at the end of this life my legacy will be, "She fought to live each day with so much joy... and encouraged others to do the same."

How can these suggestions help you develop the tough things in your life into the treasure it is meant to be?

Lisa Copen began Rest Ministries to encourage those who are chronically ill through daily devotionals, small groups called HopeKeepers, and other support. She is the author of a variety of books including Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend. She has lived with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia for twenty years and resides in San Diego with her husband and son.

Graphic in Text, adapted, Image courtesy of dan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

10 Great Choices to Make Today

Leslie Vernick‘s wise counsel encourages women everywhere to live for God in freedom and abundance. In this Life UPGRADE, she encourages us to consider 10 simple but powerful choices we can make every day.

“God has given an important freedom to humankind,” Leslie says. “It’s the freedom to choose.”

Now anyone who knows me (Dawn) and my ministry (Heart Choices Ministries) will know Leslie had me at the word “choose.” In this post,* Leslie shows us how important choices are to God, and how they can change the direction of our lives; and then she offers 10 great choices you can make today … and every day.

Leslie continues …

The Bible gives us plenty of examples of individuals who made good choices and of others who made poor choices. We can learn from their example.

Eve chose to believe the serpent rather than believe God. She only looked at the moment (it looked good to eat and she wanted it), but the consequences of her choice affected the entire human race (Genesis 3:1-6).

Moses “chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward” (Hebrews 11:25-26).

Noah chose to believe God and built an ark, suffering the ridicule of his entire community for a season, but saving his family in the long run (Genesis 6-8).

Abram chose to believe God and it was counted unto him as righteousness (Genesis 15:6).

Esau chose to sell his inheritance for a pot of stew. He was living for the moment and made his decision on a temporary felt need—hunger (Genesis 25:29-34).  

The Israelites chose to believe the eight spies that feared the giants rather than Joshua and Caleb who trusted God (Numbers 13).

David chose to honor his commitment and loyalty as a subject of King Saul, even though Saul sought to kill him. When David had the chance to kill Saul, he chose not to, instead trusting God to deliver him and protect him (1 Samuel 18-24). 

Queen Vashti chose to say no to her drunken husband, King Xerxes when he commanded her to come to the palace to parade her beauty before the people and nobles (Esther 1). As a result she lost her position, but she kept her dignity.

Abigail chose to do the right thing and overruled her foolish husband’s orders when he refused to feed David’s men. She saved her family from disaster and David from sinning (1 Samuel 25). 

John the Baptist chose to stand for the truth rather than compromise with sin and lost his head (Mark 6:17-29); yet Jesus says of John that no human being has ever been greater than he (Matthew 11:11). 

Judas chose to wallow in self-hatred instead of choosing to repent after betraying Christ … he went out and hung himself (Matthew 27:3-5). 

Jesus, the very Son of God, chose to leave His heavenly kingdom and live among us. He wanted to show us who God was and what He was like. He chose to suffer and die on the cross so that one day we might live forever with Him.

"We can decide –

• to live in response to the abundance of God, and not under the dictatorship of our own poor needs.
• ... to live in the environment of a living God and not our own dying selves.
• ... to center ourselves in the God who generously gives and not in our own egos which greedily grab.”

Just like turning your steering wheel slightly will make a big difference in where your car ends up, making small but regular good choices can make a huge difference where your life ends up.  

Here are ten choices you can make today.

You can:

1. Choose to love, rather than hate.
2. Choose to smile, rather than frown.
3. Choose to build, rather than destroy.
4. Choose to persevere, rather than quit.
5. Choose to praise, rather than gossip.
6. Choose to heal, rather than wound.
7. Choose to give, rather than grasp.
8. Choose to act, rather than delay.
9. Choose to forgive, rather than curse.
10. Choose to pray, rather than despair.

Moses encourages the people of God with these words, “Now choose life, so that you and your children may live….” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

Which of these 10 abundant life choices can you make right now? Which would most change your current circumstances?

Leslie Vernick is a national and international speaker, author, licensed clinical social worker, consultant and relationship coach with an expertise on the subjects of personal and spiritual growth, marriage improvement, conflict resolution, depression, child abuse, destructive relationships and domestic violence. She has 25 years of experience helping people enrich the relationships that matter most! Visit her website!

* This post is excerpted from Chapter 6 of Leslie’s book, How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong. The “We can decide...” quote: Alice Gray, Steve Stephens, and John Van Diest, comps., Lists to Live By: For Everything that Really Matters (Sisters, Oreg.: Multomah, 1999), 215.

Managing Your Limited Time

Julie Sanders invites women to peace in their homes and personal lives; and most of us need a lot more peace when it comes to our calendars and to-do-lists. In this Time Management UPGRADE, there are only two points—easy to remember!

“Though our to-do list seems unlimited,” Julie says, “our time is definitely not.”

I (Dawn) need to be honest here. Sometimes I don’t manage my time well. More often than not, it manages me! But I am learning to look to Jesus, who was sensitive to the Father’s will; and He is teaching me to develop that sensitivity too. I was eager to hear what Julie has to say about this “time-ly” topic.

Julie continues …

What matters most when managing the time we have?

Every woman has the same amount of time to manage, but some seem to be more productive than others. Is it just a matter of using the right planner, right calendar app or right schedule? What makes the difference when it comes to managing our days?

I’ve been using a planner for over thirty years, but I’m convinced that being a woman who manages her time well is more about perspective than planning.

To make the most of our time, we need to recognize our time is limited and our time is God’s.

“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:10).

1. Our Time Is Limited.

Wanting to do good to everyone is usually not the problem. The word for opportunity, “kairos,” describes a carefully measured and definite portion. Having opportunity means we have a limited amount of time to “do good.”

Only God is limitless. If we’re going to manage our days well, we need to accept the limited nature of our time.

So often we plan as if our time and energy are unlimited, but in truth, we have a fixed amount of both.

We set ourselves up for frustration when we accept obligations and make plans as if we can live to the edge of our limitations.

Accepting the portion of time we have available removes the burden of trying to do more than we are able. God knows our time is limited and only calls us to use our portion well.

2. Our Time Is His.

Planning is essential to managing time well, but our time is ultimately God’s.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

Time is a God-given resource Christian women receive in order to “do good.” When we disregard the One who gives and guides our days, we fall into selfishness that results in little “good” for others.  

Knowing that our available time belongs to God and is for His glory motivates us to use our time productively, but with willingness to accept divine interruptions. While we may begin our day with carefully laid plans, knowing our time belongs to God gives us the freedom to follow His lead and let go of lesser things.

We are more likely to be efficient, fruitful, and eternally-minded when we remember that our time belongs to our eternal God. Decisions become clear in light of using our days to please our Father.

We may feel that there are never enough hours in “our” day, but there are enough hours in “His” day to do good that honors Him.

Our time is limited, but our time is His.

How would your day be different if you accept that your time is limited and make decisions knowing it all belongs to God?

Julie Sanders, an author and mother of two nearly-grown children, has more on her to-do list than she has time for. She enjoys opportunities to minister overseas with her husband. Her local and global ministry to women has made her passionate about the issue of human trafficking. Read more from Julie on her blog.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Be Creative!

Want to Upgrade your life? Create something beautiful.

There is something you can do to create beauty. And remember, if you are a Christ-follower:  to God, your life is beautiful because He sees you in Christ.

Michael Hyatt says in his post, "Why You Need More Art in Your Life (and 5 Ways to Get It)" - "... art is indispensable. Art gives us meaning."

But also, "... art requires something of us. At the most basic level it can stir us to gratitude.

And don't we all need more gratitude in our lives? Creativity is a gift from God. Thank Him for your creativity today.

What are you doing lately to express your God-given creativity?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the President of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.