Show Caregivers You C.A.R.E.

Pam Farrel is a prolific writer, but that's not why I love her. She is one of the most caring women I know—so often reaching out to boost up or help others. Pam has gone through some tough years—as she writes about in this Caregiving UPGRADE—and she speaks from the wisdom and expanded compassion of personal experience.

"National Alliance for Caregiving announced that the number of caregivers in the USA rose by 9.5 million between 2015 and 2020," Pam says.

"One in five people is a caregiver. We are two of those caregivers."

On a personal note, I (Dawn) have "encouraged" my sister who is the caregiver for our elderly mother, and now I'm watching my husband and his siblings care for their parents. I have growing compassion for these sacrificial caregivers.

I'm so glad Pam is sharing her thoughts about how to encourage caregiving heroes as they honor their loved ones with sacrificial care.

Pam continues . . .

Bill’s parents—one frail of mind, the other frail of body—needed more and more help, so we sold our home and gave away most of our worldly belongings to downsize to live near them.  

Four years ago, we moved to a live-aboard boat, which provided a nurturing environment to our caregiving souls.

However, with COVID-19, we had to move inland to a 300-square-foot RV on his parents’ land, because we were and are the safest people to provide the caregiving Bill’s now 92-year-old parents need.

We have been in Christian ministry all of our 42 years of marriage, and these last four years are, by far, the most challenging ministry assignment God has ever asked us to take on.

However, in the darkness, the stars shine the brightest!

Caregiving often involves many family members and friends. (This is Bill, sitting next to his dad, and joined by other family members.)

We have seen the beautiful side of humanity and the love of God extended to us through the C.A.R.E. others have extended to us.

                          Our friends have held us up,

                    as we have held up our aging parents.

How can we C.A.R.E for those who 'care give' others?

C —Check in and Check on the Caregiver

It is easy to feel invisible in your life as a caregiver.

• The person you are attending to may or may not be thankful, grateful, or appreciative.
• Some of those you care for may not even have the ability to verbalize their thanks—or cognitively, they might not be able to grasp the great sacrifices you are making.
• Others, like aging parents, or a disabled family member, might initially show thanks with words or actions, but many, as their health declines, will lose their ability to give thanks—or perhaps will even forget your name!

That is why all caregivers need their "Epaphroditus."

During our caregiving years, I have written and published Discovering Joy in Philippians: A Creative Bible Study Experience, and among the cast of characters in the apostle Paul’s life was a very faithful friend: Epaphroditus:

I have thought it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus my brother and fellow worker and fellow soldier, and your messenger and minister to my need. ...

Indeed he was ill, near to death. But God had mercy on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.

I am the more eager to send him, therefore, that you may rejoice at seeing him again, and that I may be less anxious.

So receive him in the Lord with all joy, and honor such men,

for he nearly died for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was lacking in your service to me (Philippians 2:25, 27-30).

Paul was writing from prison, and in those days, your friends and family needed to provide ALL your needs—or you went without!

Epaphroditus was such a great friend that he gathered money and goods and risked his own health to make sure Paul got his needs met.

For Bill and me, even an encouraging text, a colorful greeting card, or a social media message asking, “How are YOU?” is one way God has reminded us that He sees, He cares, and He will move on our behalf.

A — Assist with Practical Help

Galatians 6:2 reminds us, Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

In this verse, we are asked to bear another’s burden, or personal weight, upon oneself—by choice! When we do this, we fulfill the greatest commandment:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself' (Mark 12:30-31).

During the COVID-19 pandemic, our already-difficult season of caregiving got even harder!

In two days, two years’ worth of our speaking was cancelled or postponed. Like many, it was a financial crisis!

Those friends and family in our Living Love-Wise Community rallied. Many:

• Sent financial donations,
• Called, and asked what practical help they might offer,
• Hosted us in their homes when we did travel for ministry,
• Recommended us for paid ministry,
• Referred us as life coaches,
• Extended writing and virtual speaking opportunities, and
• Lavished us with gift cards for necessities.

(Notice all those action words?) Their practical help held our heads above the rushing storm waters. 

R — Resource Respite

Caregivers get weary.

For the past several years, Bill’s dad has called his son’s phone all night long, every night, night after night. We are sleep-deprived.

And my husband also is physically tired, because his father is weak and frail. So Bill picks him up, moves him, carries him—whatever it takes to bring aid and comfort to his father.

In addition, he must deal with his mom—a hoarder, and an agoraphobic (fear of entering open or crowded spaces, or leavng home).

Studies by the National Association of Caregivers note that the health of caregivers often declines, the longer he or she serves as a caregiver.

My prayers are often, “Lord, keeping Bill’s folks alive feels like it is killing Bill!” 

God knows the sacrifice. Jeremiah 31:25 brings hope:

“For I satisfy that weary one and refresh everyone who languishes.”

The word picture here is of God sending a saturating rain to a parched land. The showers then refresh, refill, renew the languishing land.

People have been kind to:

• Take us out to dinner,
• Pay for a hotel room for a 24-hour collapse, and
• Send gift baskets, flowers, boxes of encouraging books and spiritual strengthening tools.

Just this week, one of our friends sent us a gift of a three-day anniversary in a lakeside cabin!

The good news is the care our family and friends have sacrificed to extend to us is helping protect Bill’s and my health and emotional well-being.

E — Encourage and Equip

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

This verse is a picture of walking alongside someone with encouragement, exhortation, admonishment, comfort, and consolation.

The term "build up" is a picture of constructing a home—strong and sturdy—a home where God dwells. And this is not a once-in-a-lifetime action. Rather, it is an ongoing choice to help the caregiver stand strong in their strenuous season.

Recently, a friend sent me a bracelet that reads, “Grow through what you go through.” More than a decade ago, I gave her a bracelet that looks like a zig zagged line, and with it was the promise, “I will be with you in the ups and downs of life.” We are most like Jesus, our Emmanuel, when we go WITH our friend.

In today’s world, when someone passes away, we might be tempted to only post “Praying” or a few emojis. However, the real friend will seek to do more to be “there” and extend C.A.R.E. for their friend, so he or she can stay strong in their caregiving calling.

Your care for others is the measure of your greatness (Luke 9:48 TLB).

Pray and listen to God’s Spirit, then take practical action to extend some tender loving care to someone who has been caregiving another.

Remember, C.A.R.E. means:

Check in/Check on the caregiver, Assist in practical ways, provide Resource Respite—encourage caregivers' health and well-being, and Encourage/Equip them for their difficult ministry to those they love.

Who is God asking YOU to C.A.R.E. for?

Pam Farrel is an international speaker, relationship expert, and author of 54 books including:  Discovering Joy in Philippians: A Creative Bible Study Experience and Discovering Hope in the Psalms. Download your free copy of Infectious Joy and tell others about it too—become contagious with joy! Pam and her husband Bill co-direct Love-Wise ministries. They invite you to become a member of the Living Love-Wise Community.  

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Gerd Altmann at Pixabay.

Rx for Caregivers

Sally Ferguson always laces her writing with scripture truth. In this Caregiving UPGRADE, she helps us see how we can minister to caregivers who pour out their lives in service to others.

"Caregiving has come in multiple seasons for me," Sally said, "so it was an epiphany for me to realize the Good Samaritan was also a caregiver."

I (Dawn) had never thought of it that way. Sally is right. Also, the Lord told this story about the Good Samaritan some time after He sent out His followers to prepare the way for His arrival.

Jesus is the greatest Caregiver of all, and He wants us to follow His example of selfless service.

Sally continues…

Luke 10:30-35 tells the Good Samaritan’s story.

He acted as medic, transport and financier.

Parents can relate to this multitasker when we doctor up scrapes, become a taxi driver to endless sports and school activities, and provide for those events from the bank of Mom and Dad.

I’ve also been a caregiver when:

• My Mom-in-love had double knee replacement.
• I served as a Chemo Buddy through multiple friends' cancer treatments.
• My Dad came to live with us.

Doctor appointments, physical therapy sessions, drug store runs, and sleepless nights all take a toll on the caregiver.

We serve out of compassion, but Xochitl Dixon says in Waiting for God, “Compassion can become exhausting when we try to do God’s job.”

At some point, the caregiver has to administer self-care.

We have to refill our cups in the Lord’s presence, so that out of the overflow we can again refresh others.

He invites us in Matthew 11:28 to come to Him for rest.

Psalm 68:19, 1 Peter 5:7 and Psalm 55:22 invite us to cast our cares on the Lord.

This practice is more than a “one and done” prayer; it is the process of releasing our burdens to be carried by another.

This act of letting go can look different from one person to the next.

• Maybe worship music helps you?
• Maybe taking your charge for a ride in the car?
• Kneeling and stretching are postures of prayer, as are journaling, swimming, and doing dishes.

Find a way to gather your thoughts and hand them to the Lord.

What Would I like to Know as a Caregiver?

1. God cares.

In exhaustion, desperation and sorrow, it’s easy to think you’re alone in the battle. We start to entertain the “Why?” questions, and slide down the slippery slope of despair.

Years ago, my pastor said, “God knows and He cares” (Matthew 6:8). That assurance has given me strength to carry on through difficulty.

It reminds me I am not expected to do life in my own strength, and I have a heavenly Father who is invested in the details of my day-to-day experience.

2. Other people care.

Isolation is quite often the hallmark of a caregiver’s lifestyle. A mom with an infant yearns for adult conversation. Someone caring for a member of the family with dementia wishes for a day of recognition. A nurse is overwhelmed by suffering.

It’s hard to give and give without receiving care too.

Galatians 6:2 reminds us to share each other’s burdens.

Could you connect with a support group for your circumstance? From Alzheimer’s to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) to zany viruses and everything in-between, there’s a support group to be found. Check online and in your community for reputable organizations.

A listening ear can lighten the load.

And, combat isolation by taking your charge for a walk, sitting on the patio in the sunshine, or going for an ice cream run. Look for something to celebrate, every day.

3. What I’m doing WILL make a difference.

Investing in a life is noteworthy, but often thankless.

The attention drawn to the sanctity of life is not only for the pre-born, but also affects how we treat our elderly and disabled. When we care for others, Jesus says we are showing Him how we care for Him (Matthew 25:34-40).

Whether you’re changing diapers and wiping drool for a 13 year old with special needs, or driving someone to chemo appointments, you need to know it matters.

You are needed, and no one can give the same level of care as you, because you are connected. You notice their smiles and celebrate their laughter. You administer grace in various forms.

Purpose changes perspective when we take our eyes off of ourselves.

Cain was wrong when he said, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” We’re ALL called to be caregivers (John 21:16; 1 Peter 5:2).

The way we live out that role is important: we show our love for Jesus—by caring for His people (John 21:15-17).

Do you know a caregiver who needs a friend? What can you do this week to lift that caregiver's load or model the love of Jesus?

Sally Ferguson is a caregiver for her dad and her grands. She lives in western New York with her hubby of 33 years. Look for her words at EzineArticles, AlmostAnAuthor, on Amazon and at sallyferguson.net.  sallyferguson.net.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Sabine Van Erp at Pixabay.

Upgrade Your 'Hope Rope'

My friend Pam Farrel always inspires me, because I know her responses to life are sifted through the grid of biblical truth. In this UPLIFT post, she speaks of the kind of hope only the Lord can give.  The ripple of my husband’s compassionate care of his parents impacted me as I tried my best to hold up our life and ministry as Bill held up his parents," Pam said. "We were both at the end of our proverbial rope."

As I (Dawn) have observed several friends and family members dealing with cargiving issues in recent months, I can attest to the kinds of stresses the Farrels are going through these days. But Pam's faith and hope point "true north" spiritually, as you will see in her story.

Pam continues . . .             

I was weary—tired to the bone, drop-dead fatigued, completely exhausted, “can’t take even one more step”, “leave it all on the field” beat.

It seemed we were caught in the perfect storm, and the ship of our life was being tossed about on a tumultuous sea of unending responsibilities.It was a year of up and down swells.

The positive included constant travel for our speaking, including large chunks of time spent internationally—which we love; but travel takes a physical and mental toll.

We also had multiple book projects in various stages, which are all wonderful blessings of opportunity—but these highs were also mixed with Bill having long absences from our ministry office as he drove back and forth through grueling Southern California gridlock traffic for months on end. He was commuting to care for his aging parents, one frail of mind, the other frail of body. 

His folks were fiercely desiring to maintain the independence of living in their own home—which put an ever-growing weight on the shoulders of my compassionate husband.

The Lord’s Life Line

I know that the Word has some prescriptions for handling weariness.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him (Psalms 62:5).

…“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31).

The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest” (Ex 33:14).

Six days do your work, but on the seventh day do not work… (Ex 23:12).

I knew I needed a day off for rest, renewal, revival, rejuvenation—and recovery!

I am a part of a wonderful networking group called Professional Women’s Fellowship, and they were hosting a one-day retreat at a lovely private estate. I knew that I needed to get myself there (despite a looming book deadline).

I went begging God to speak to me and give me some HOPE!

I love this getaway because they minister to a person body, soul, mind and spirit. During the hour-long quiet time, I stretched out under the shade of a large tree near the pond. As I laid down on my stomach, spreading my journaling Bible open before me, I couldn’t help but notice that I was already seeing God be the Good Shepherd of Psalm 23.

He was making me lie down in a green “pasture” that was “beside still waters.” So, I continued to pray through Psalm 23:2-3:

Lord,  “refresh my soul….guide me along the right paths  for [Your] name’s sake.”  

Riggings of Rest and Recovery

I flipped opened my Bible to the Psalms, as I nearly always gain a measure of refreshing hope there. My Bible landed at Psalms 55:22:

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken....”

Immediately, I thought,

“Wow Lord, that was fast! This seems the perfect verse for me, but exactly what does it mean to “cast my cares” on You? How can I get better at doing it? And what does it mean that you will “sustain” me? —because I REALLY need some sustaining power! I know that my heart’s desire is to be “righteous”, and right now living “unshaken” is what I need, because I can’t see the circumstances changing all that quickly. Lord, I am open to Your message to me from Your Word.”

I had a smartphone with me, so I connect to my Logos Bible software to help me dig a little deeper into the context, the word meaning and historical frame around this verse.

I prayed out my weariness, then looked up what it meant to “cast” my burden. I was to hurl my net out like a fisherman. God was inviting me to catapult my burdens on to his net. (And I was happy to hurl them!)

As I continued to study, what surprised me is the word used for "burden" can also be translated “assignment” or “gift”.

I remember thinking, “A gift? Really?” (It was interesting that this word “gift” can also be translated “lot” or “allotment”, and is the same word as many of us pray from The Prayer of Jabez in 1 Chronicles 4:10: “…Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border…”  which means to pray the equivalent of “God bless me by giving me the full allotment You have planned for me”).

I was beginning to see how the “burden” was how I was seeing the “blessing” of the responsibility, or allotment God had for me.

It seemed to survive, I needed a paradigm shift to a more heavenly viewpoint.

But as I surveyed my “gift” (my assignment) from God, it seemed too big for one to ever carry alone, so I kept digging, doing more word studies through the verse.

I read that God would “sustain” me—He would nourish, strengthen, and support me—and make me sufficient enough to handle this assigned “gift.” 

To me, God was whispering hope to my soul. Whatever my assignment was depleting, God would pour back into me—and more!

I was washed over with peace, relief and rejuvenating hope.

As a praise response, and to lock this refreshing word picture securely and vividly in my mind, I sketched out two hands, representing God’s caring hands. In one palm was my “gift” of cares and I placed myself in the other palm.

Both me and my assignment—both you and your calling—are held up by the Good Shepherd. We are in His sustaining, caring hands. God’s got us!

As the strong hands of a lifeguard are a welcome sight to someone caught in a tempest at sea, so Psalm 55:22 is a snapshot of the rescue God’s hands can give YOU!

Boats need their riggings and lifelines repaired or replaced on a regular basis to keep a sailor safe. You can tell a line is losing strength if it shows signs of wear and tear, fraying at edges, or corrosion.

Is your life showing any signs of needing to take time away to let God renew, refresh, repair or rebuild your lifelines of God’s reviving Word?

Pam Farrel is an international speaker, living on a boat in Southern California. When she is not kayaking to get her mail, she loves writing and teaching so others can find hope from God. Her newest book is Discovering Hope in the Psalms: A Creative Biblical Experience (by Pam Farrel, Jean E Jones, and Karla Dornacher, from Harvest House.) Learn more about Pam and her ministry at Love-Wise. 

Three Steps toward Dependence

I've long admired Kathy Howard for her skill in communicating biblical thruth through creative Bible studies, and recenty she tackled a topic that is hitting many people where they live. In this Caregiving UPGRADE, she provides a fresh perspective for weary caregivers.

"Self-reliance and independence hinder our caregiving," Kathy says.

Didn't I (Dawn) say it is a "fresh perspective"? I've read many posts promoting independence for caregivers, but never one on learning dependence.

Kathy continues . . .

Caring for my aging parents demands more than I have to give. I remember one night in particular.

Voices penetrated the heavy shroud of sleep. I could hear the anxiety in Mom and Dad’s conversation, but I couldn’t make out the words.

I threw back the covers and stumbled across the hall to their room. Dad lay on the floor beside the bed. I managed to get him sitting, but I could not get his 230-pounds off the floor and back in the bed.

My husband was stirring in the other room, so I called for help. Together we got Dad back in bed.

Thankfully, the fall only caused a few bumps and bruises. But it dramatically reminded me of my limitations.

My natural bent toward self-reliance is reinforced by a culture that admires this quality.

Our culture teaches us that independence is good and dependence is to be avoided at all costs.

While true in certain instances, self-reliance and independence can hinder believers. When we face circumstances and situations we cannot control, change, fix, or conquer we are thrown off balance.

What do we do when we simply can’t do it?

There is nothing easy about caring for aging parents.

No matter how much we love them, the task demands more than we have to give—physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. We need help from family members, friends, and health professionals.

But even that won’t always be enough.

Soak in this glorious truth for a moment: Our deficiency is an opportunity for God to demonstrate His sufficiency. Our dependence allows God to prove Himself dependable.

Within ourselves, we don’t have what it takes to tackle life’s hardest challenges, but God has more than we need.

A passage in 2 Corinthians beautifully shows us how Paul depended on God to carry him when he couldn’t go on. Paul had encountered a situation in Asia so desperate, he saw no way out of it with his life (2 Corinthians 1:8). Yet, miraculously God delivered him.

When the situation was hopeless, Hope flooded in. And Paul learned utter dependence on the One who is utterly dependable (2 Corinthians 1:9-10). 

The passage reveals that God allowed this situation to happen so that Paul and his companions would learn to rely on God (2 Corinthians 1:9).

And Paul continued to depend on God. When God chose to leave the “thorn” in his life, Paul learned the sufficiency of God’s grace. In his weakest moments, God’s power was revealed.

Paul’s weakness became a stage for God’s strength.

God also wants us to trust Him with all the circumstances of our lives—including caring for our aging parents. He longs to show us He is trustworthy, reliable and powerful. So, how can we let go of independence and learn to depend on Him?

Let’s follow Paul’s example toward dependence in 2 Corinthians.

1. Reflect on God’s past provision.

Think about all the times in your past when God has worked. Remember the times He has comforted you, encouraged you, delivered you from danger, given you clear direction for the path ahead.

Reflecting on God’s past provision and faithfulness will strengthen your future trust in Him.

2. Contemplate the scope of God’s power.

Meditate a few moments on our powerful, almighty God. The God who created the universe is not weak or powerless. He heals the sick, raises the dead, and holds the stars in place.

He can provide what you need for your daily life. Even the hardest days of caregiving.

3. Sit quietly in God’s gracious presence.

The same God who spoke the world into existence is the same God who delivered Paul. And He is the same God who longs to fill you with His grace and strength.

Linger with Him today. Ask Him to give you an awareness of His presence with you.

When we depend on Him, our caregiving role is a chance for God to demonstrate His strength in our lives. Paul expressed this truth:

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:8-9).

Caring for our parents provides ample opportunity for God’s power to work in our weakness. For God to show Himself worthy of our dependence.

Depend on Him today.

What are some other ways you can purposefully work to foster dependence on God for caregiving today?

Kathy Howard, a Bible teacher and former “cultural Christian,” now lives an unshakeable faith for life and encourages other women to also embrace real, authentic faith. Kathy is author of 8 books, including “30 Days of Hope When Caring for Aging Parents” (May 2018). Get free discipleship helps on her website: www.KathyHoward.org.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Unclelkt at Pixabay.

Walking a Loved One Eternally Home

Joanie Shawhan writes words of encourgement to those touched by cancer and other painful struggles, writing from her own experience and wisdom to encourage us in this Grief UPGRADE. Joanie writes about a phone call she received:

“'I have stage 4 cancer,' my sister Tracy said. I groaned as I tightened my grip on the phone."

I'm sure you would agree with me (Dawn)—this is one of the most painful phone calls we can receive. But what do we do with that information?

The Lord says, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints" (Psalm 116:15); but what choices might we have in the days before they go to their eternal home?

Joanie continues . . .

How could this happen to my sister? She goes to the gym everyday.

As a cancer survivor and a nurse with an oncology background, I was familiar with stage 4 cancer. But a few days later, my heart sank.

God had whispered in my spirit, “Walk her home.”

How do I say goodbye to my sister nine years younger, nine hours away and nine years old when I left home? We had rarely visited or talked with one another between crazy schedules and multiple states.

How DO I walk my sister home? How do we WALK our loved ones home?

With God’s help, I discovered ways to walk Tracy home. 

1. Pray.

• Ask God how to pray for them.
• Ask our loved ones for their prayer requests. My sister wanted prayer for the pain.

2. Encourage. Share encouraging words, scriptures and songs.

I sent my sister a Bible, but would she feel well enough to read it? I created daily memes with scriptures of God’s love, comfort and faithfulness.

3. Listen.

Some people want to talk about dying. Tracy did not want to talk about cancer, death or anything negative.

4. Respect.

We need to respect their choices.

Tracy had a rare bladder cancer resistant to both chemotherapy and radiation with a life expectancy of three to six months.

She did not want to live the rest of her days sick from chemotherapy. Instead, she chose two weeks of alternative treatment in Mexico followed by a home regimen.

5. Contact. Call, text and send cards.

I discovered that Tracy was more receptive to conversations starting with “What’s up?” rather than “How are you?” This gave her the option to talk about things other than cancer.

She preferred to text when her breathing grew labored.

6. Gifts.

My sisters and I sent flowers, Polish pottery, tea, books, DVD’s, and hand-knitted socks and blanket.

7. Meals.

Tracy’s co-workers ordered food from a local restaurant when they heard family were in town. There were so many leftovers that she invited her co-workers for dinner the following day.

8. Finances.

A devastating diagnosis can drain the family’s finances.

Tracy’s treatment in Mexico was expensive and not covered by insurance. One of my sisters set up a Medgift * account for her.

9. Visits.

Visits from friends and family can be great distractions from sickness and pain. But they can also be exhausting.

Some days our loved ones may feel better than other days.

Call or text to see if they would like a visit.

10. Outings.

Movies, shopping trips and walks provide wonderful distractions.

11. Serve.

Offer specific help such as childcare, housekeeping or lawn care.

• Tracy wanted help taking down her Christmas decorations.
• As part of staging their house, my brother painted and laid flooring.

12. Prepare.

Prepare for the loved ones left behind.

Help videotape messages, sort photographs or write cards for special occasions. Tracy and I sorted through her childhood photos.

13. Celebrate.

My brother-in-law brought Tracy into town for an old-time family dinner. Fourteen of us gathered around the table set with china that hadn’t been outside of a hutch in over twenty years. Wisecracks, laughter and family stories mingled with the aroma of roast beef.

For a little while we could forget that this weekend would be our last time together.

14. Hope.

Allow hope.

Between staggered breaths, Tracy had said, “We’ve had lots of miracles in our family. I hope there is one more miracle for me.”

My sister still clung to hope despite starting oxygen and entering hospice.

On Good Friday, Tracy’s husband texted, “Her condition has worsened. I don’t know how long she has.”

My Mom, sisters and I arrived in town to be with Tracy during her last days. We enjoyed Easter together, Tracy hooked up to oxygen, swinging on the patio and soaking in the sun.

Early the next morning, Jesus received her—eternally home.

I am sure she would say along with the psalmist David:

“When I awake, I will see you face to face and be satisfied” (Psalm 17:15b NLT).

How would you lead a loved one eternally home?

Joanie Shawhan is an ovarian cancer survivor and a registered nurse. She writes encouraging articles for women undergoing chemotherapy. She also speaks to medical practitioners in the Survivors Teaching Students program. Visit Joanie's website.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Kaz at Pixabay.

* MedGift is a non-profit with resources and tools for those facing a health-related hardship or need.