3 Ways to Uplift a Military Family at Christmas

Along with her love for the Lord, I've come to love Morgan Farr's practical wisdom. In this special Christmas UPLIFT, she shares three ways we can all reach out to lift up a military family near us during the holiday season.

"One of my absolute favorite Christmas songs," Morgan says, "is Bing Crosby’s 'I’ll Be Home for Christmas.' I could listen to it a thousand times and not grow tired of it."

The one line in that song that always gets me (Dawn) is "I'll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams." I remember my own daddy when he was shipped overseas with the Navy. How he dreamed of being home with us around the tree.

Morgan continues . . .

The lyrics of this song are incredibly simple and yet it strikes a chord with me every holiday season, for a special reason.

We are a military family.

Each year at the holidays, service members and their families wait to find out if they will be home for Christmas.

Between deployments, TDYs, staff duty and being in the field, it is a toss up each year as to whether or not the service member will be able to be with their family around the tree on Christmas day.

Even if the service member is at home with their family for the holidays, this home usually means being far away from their extended family like grandparents, aunts and cousins.

This can make the holiday season extremely difficult for the servicemember, the spouse and the children.

Thankfully, brothers and sisters in Christ have the incredible gift of church family and community to help bridge the gap when service members are unable to be with family during the holidays.

I want to share with you—How To Bless a Military Family during the Holiday Season.  

1. Dish the Dirt

Tell the military family where all the best holiday activities are held locally.

We had a family tell us about a neat place called Christmas Circle while we were stationed in San Diego, and it was such a blessing to us!

Oftentimes, the military family is not familiar with the area they are stationed in. Play tour guide and help them have a memorable holiday experience.

• Where should they go to get a real Christmas tree?
• Is there a local holiday festival or parade?
• Does one of the churches nearby put on an awesome Christmas pageant?
• Where are the best Christmas light displays? 

2. Wrapping Party

I had a local friend invite me to come to her house and we wrapped Christmas gifts together.

We had eggnog, listened to Christmas music and wrapped gifts for our families. It was a blast!

If you can’t get together with your military friend, offer them the use of your extra wrapping paper, especially if they just moved in.

Finding all of your essentials when you unpack is hard enough, let alone trying to find wrapping paper!

3. Family Time

Invite them to your home for a holiday meal.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. In fact, last year my friend invited my family over for pizza and Christmas cookies right after Christmas and it was wonderful!

Play board games. Play in the snow. Read through the story of Christ’s birth. Let the military family participate in normal family activities. 

Matthew 25:35 says, “I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.”

Military life is hard on the regular, boring days. It is incredibly difficult at the holidays.

Military families are often treated like strangers, and it can be incredibly lonely.

Reach out to the military families in your town. Love on them in the name of Christ.

What can YOU do to help UPLIFT a military family this holiday season?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three small children, and learn more about homeschooling. Morgan is a homemaker dedicating her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, Public Domain Pictures, courtesy of Pixabay.

Honoring Heroes at Home

Ellie Kay is known as America's Family Financial Expert, but she's also the founder and CEO of Heroes at Home and an alumnus of the Military Family Advisory Network. She is an Air Force spouse, mother of seven—including three in the military—and the author of 15 books. In this July 4th UPGRADE, with a special emphasis on the military, Ellie shares financial tips for the military that are helpful for everyone!

"I looked out at the audience of 1300 young Airmen who had gathered at Sheppard Air Force Base to watch Heroes at Home Financial Education event." Ellie said.

"They were tired, hungry and had been told that: 1) they would skip dinner at the 1800 hour, and 2) they were going to sit in on a mandatory 2-hour financial brief.

"To say they were not a happy audience would be a gross understatement."

I (Dawn) got to know Ellie Kay because of her emphasis on financial freedom, but soon found out her strong passion for the military—which is why I wanted her to write something for July 4th. In this article, she combines two of her passions: financial freedom with helping our military Heroes at Home.

Ellie continues . . .

During our live Twitter contest, they were to tweet the best financial tips from the show and a winner got the prize.

Instead, they tweeted photos of hamburgers, tacos, and fried chicken.

One of our resourceful team members had a conversation with the powers that be and we got the chow halls to stay open past the normal time, so they could eat. When our emcee made the dinner announcement, it got the biggest applause thus far in our show!

But by the time we finished with our high-energy, quickly-paced show, they were smiling, happy and getting into the tips we shared. We are dedicated to helping military families and all Americans, find financial freedom. 

We celebrate Independence Day and the less than 1% of our nation’s population who serve in our military, to protect the rights and freedoms of the other 99% of us. 

But we can all support our military members by saying, “Thank you for your service,” and letting them know we appreciate their work on our behalf.

If you want to go above for those who have gone beyond, then you could also:

• send care packages during deployments,
• offer to do free yard work for the family left at home,
• or give a military family gifts cards for the movies, restaurants or other forms of entertainment.

One more way to thank our military is to help them with financial readiness.

Here are some tips that apply to everyone.  

1. Credit Scores

Military members can lose their security clearance if they get into trouble with credit, so their jobs depend on having a decent credit score and what that represents about their debt.

No matter what your financial picture is, it’s critical for every person to improve their own FICO (Fair Isaac Credit Scores). These scores determine not only the APR you pay on a home or car loan, but they also impact auto insurance premiums, whether you’ll get the promotion or the job (many employers check FICOS), whether you pay a security deposit for utilities, and much more.

You can go to Credit.com  or Experian.com to check your score and they’ll even give you specific ways to improve each area of your credit score.

You can improve your FICO in three easy steps:

• Pay early. Set up automatic payments online so you will never be late.
• Pay More. Add $5 to $10 more than the minimum balance that is due; this indicates you are paying down debt.
• Pay Proportionally. Also known as credit utilization, make sure that you don’t have more than 30% of the available credit charged on any one card at any time. For example, a card with a $5000 limit should never have more than $1500 charged.

2. Cut Existing Costs. 

It only takes 15 minutes to save hundreds of dollars. Once you save money in one area, then use those funds to pay down consumer debt or to build up a savings account.

• Auto Insurance. Once a year, compare policies by getting a variety of quotes. Take the cheaper price back to your existing provider and tell them you will switch companies unless they can match the price. Be sure to check out quotes from USAA.com since you are military and qualify to be a member.
• RetailMeNot. Download the RetailMeNot app or bookmark it on your computer. This is a code site that offers 400,000 coupon codes at any given time. Just enter the store’s name and you’ll see all the codes to get the better prices. Use this on entertainment, travel, electronics, or any kind of online shopping or in the mall.
• CouponMom.com. I was one of the original extreme couponers, and I saved 161k while raising my kids by using coupons. If you go to this site, she’s done all the work for you and will tell you what is on sale in your neighborhood, what codes are available, what coupons are out for the item and which stores double coupon. I calculated that over the course of twenty years, I saved our family over 160K!

3. Free Credit Counseling

With a slow economy comes an influx of those who want to "help" prepare you for the worse by consolidating your debt. However, most “for profit” debt-counseling companies charge a hefty fee for their services, which is usually tacked onto your debt load.

Instead, go to the National Consumer Credit Counseling Service found at www.nfcc.org and use their FREE services.

4. Budget Baby

If you don't have a budget as part of your lifestyle, then yesterday was the day to start.

Set one up with a budgeting app such as mint, Wally or Every Dollar.

The problem for a lot of families is not having a budget, it’s sticking to a budget.

Set up a “budget date” once a month with your spouse to revisit how the plan is working. This kind of regular accountability works as well in finances as it does in Weight Watchers. When you know there will be someone asking you why you bought that purple mohair sweater for $198, you’re less likely to give into the impulse to go off budget.

EVERYONE: During this time of the year, be sure to thank those Heroes at Heroes at Home—and if you know a Vietnam Vet, then say “welcome home” because most of them have never heard those words from a grateful American.

For more information on where Ellie Kay’s Heroes at Home is visiting next, explore their website at HeroesAtHome.org.

Ellie Kay is the best-selling author of fifteen books including Lean Body, Fat Wallet, and Heroes at Home. She is a Toastmaster Accredited Speaker as well as a popular international speaker and media veteran who has given over1,200 media interviews including appearances on ABC, CNBC, CNN and Fox News. As a popular columnist, she writes for six national magazines and has been a Subject Matter Expert for the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and Washington Post. Currently, Ellie provides financial education to military members through her “Heroes at Home Financial Event” sponsored for USAA. Ellie is married to LTC Bob Kay and they have seven children.

Graphic adapted, Flags of the Military, Wikipedia.

Uplift the Military Child and Family

Morgan Farr is a remarkably strong woman, because she knows where her strength lies—in the Lord. In this special UPLIFT, she calls our attention to the special needs of military families, and how we might reach out to help them.

"Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis said,  'If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much.' And You know what?, says Morgan Farr, "I agree with her."

I (Dawn) remember that comment by Mrs. Onassis. It helped me firm up my family priorities, so I'm glad to see Morgan use that quote in such a positive way in this special pro-military-family post.

(Note: April 2019 is the Month of the Military Child.)

Morgan continues . . .

This quote by Mrs. Onassis was on the wall in the military hospital’s obstetrics office where I found out I was expecting our first child.

The quote sat directly above a sign that said, “We chose this. We live this. We can do this."—which is a popular saying among military families.

I remember reading that quote and thinking to myself, how hard could it be?

Well, three children later I can tell you—raising kids in a military family is both incredibly rewarding and incredibly difficult at the same time.

We have been married almost six years and we are about to complete our fourth move. This move will be quite an adventure with a four-year-old boy, a three-year-old boy, a one-year-old girl and an ever-patient pup.

Thinking about that sign and my response makes me chuckle as I wrangle the kids and the dog as my husband is currently TAD—gone for a training event, for all you non Army folks.

The combination of those signs in the doctor’s office has stuck with me throughout our parenting journey for a couple of reasons.

I don’t want to mess up my kids, especially since they didn’t choose this.

My husband was in the military before I met him. I don’t want to say I fully knew what I was getting into as a military spouse, because you cannot know the reality of it until you live it; but I at least had the choice.

My kids didn’t get a choice in this life and yet they take all the challenges in stride. So today, I want to share with you:

How to UpLift Military Children and Families

1. Look at the Reality.

Military life often means that parenting is a solo job. When the servicemember is on staff duty, TDY, or deployed, the other parent has to carry all of the weight, alone.

So when the military wife comes into Sunday School pushing an infant in a stroller, trying to wrestle in a wayward toddler, and get the preschooler to the potty—don’t sigh that she brought her kids. Welcome them.

Mark 9:37 says,  

“Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

Offer to go reserve seats for them. Get her a cup of coffee. Distract the toddler. Hold the baby. Smile at them. They need it. 

2. Look for Needs.

When you move to a new place, your household goods almost never arrive at the same time. This means your family often end up sleeping on the floor and eating out until their stuff arrives.

Romans 12:13 says,

“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

Offer the new military family your crockpot, your air mattress, or the use of your washing machine.

Tell them which grocery stores have the best produce and which coffee shops are the cleanest. If the husband is TAD or deployed, offer to mow the yard or shovel snow.

Help to meet the tangible needs that military life so often creates.

3. Look for ways to pray.

PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! I cannot stress this one enough.

Shroud this family in prayer constantly.

• Pray for the servicemember as they are TDY or deployed.
• Pray for the parent at home keeping the homefires burning.
• Pray for the children to lean on Jesus when they are lonely, scared or missing their service member. 

Ephesians 6:18 says,

“In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.”

With the constant movement, the separations and the unsure future, it is easy for military children and families for fall out of the church and to get left behind.

Pursue them, encourage them, support them, pray for them.

The official flower of the military child is the dandelion. It is carried away by the wind and can bloom in the most unlikely of places.

Military children watch their parent leave for TDYs that can last days, weeks, or months. They endure months long deployments, last minute cancellations, and not being able to hear their parents wish them a happy birthday.

We as a community need to care for these families that sacrifice so much for our nation every single day especially because they didn’t chose this.

God chose them for this life. 

How can you reach out to a military child this week?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Currently stationed in San Diego, California, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three small children, and learning more about homseschooling. Morgan is a homemaker who dedicates her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring, and physical training. Morgan writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog, The Forgiven Former Feminist. You can find her training programs, nutritional information and meal plans on her blog, Farr Functional Fitness

Graphic of military family adapted, courtesy of Stockpholio.net—image/id/6174782835#!Reunited.

Graphic of dandelion adapted, courtesy of domeckopol at Pixabay.