Renewing Joy and Vision: A Matter of Decision

Author Dianne Barker is wise and practical. In this Choices UPGRADE, she reminds us that in difficult days, we need to make intentional decisions to be joyful and renew our vision if we want to bring glory to God.

“The science-fiction year 2020 is in the books,” Dianne says, “but pandemic living has robbed us of joy and vision. Have you lost your joy and vision?”

I (Dawn) know what Dianne's talking about. I had a couple of weeks early in 2020 that sent me into an emotional tailspin. Nothing changed until I took my struggle to the Lord (Psalm 42:11). He made the difference in my spiritual and emotional health.

Dianne continues . . .

Life is still unsettled, the future uncertain. If we’re depending on favorable circumstances to renew our joy and vision, we may have a long wait.

Could renewal simply be a matter of decision? Consider this.

I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord (Psalm 116:17).

Did you notice the words I WILL? That’s decision.

Today, whatever the circumstance, I will offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord… and nothing can stop me.

From the phrase sacrifice of thanksgiving, I get the impression that offering thanks is essential, even when life is difficult.

I choose thanksgiving when I don’t feel thankful, presenting my thanksgiving as a sacrifice to the Lord.

When life goes according to plans and expectations, my heart overflows with gratitude and thanksgiving. It’s easy to rejoice and sing praise—the spontaneous response of feeling.

But when I’m derailed by detours and disappointments, can I offer thanksgiving and praise by decision? Yes, because no matter my experience, God is worthy of honor and exaltation.

In Psalm 116, calling on the name of the Lord is a recurring thought.

The writer begins,

I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live (vv. 1-2).

Encountering difficulties, distress, and anguish, the Psalmist called on the name of the Lord (v. 4).

What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord (vv. 12-13).

He repeats his determination to call on the name of the Lord (v. 17) four times in twenty verses.

Calling on the name of the Lord suggests crying out.

Likely you’ve been there.

• Crying out in your pain, fear, or sorrow.
• Crying out when someone you love encounters unspeakable heartbreak.
• Crying out when you’ve lost your joy and vision.

This Psalm gives a precious picture of our Lord.

He heard my voice and my pleas for mercy… he inclined his ear to me.

I see him bending down, giving his full attention to the cry of his hurting child.

One of my favorite Bible-study practices is underlining every reference to “I cry, he hears,” along with the action that follows—what God did in response to the cry for help. The study convinces me our God is not a distant God. He’s personal and a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).

I cry. He hears.

Whatever His response, knowing He’s heard satisfies me. I rest, assured He’s working for my good and His glory.

My friend Freda is a woman of great faith and confident prayer. I’ve shared countless concerns over decades of friendship, knowing she would talk to our Father on my behalf. Always, she comforts my anxious heart, saying, “I can’t wait to see how God works this out!”

Life is still unsettled, the future uncertain.

But we needn’t wait for favorable circumstances to renew our joy and vision. We can begin living by decision!

Choose to:

• Offer to the Lord the sacrifice of thanksgiving.
• Call on the name of the Lord.

All my cares are in the mighty hands of God. And I can’t wait to see how He works things out!

Are you ready to renew your joy and vision?

Dianne Barker is a speaker, radio host, and author of 11 books, including the best-selling Twice Pardoned and award-winning I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck Down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life. She’s a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Christian Authors Network, and Word Weavers International. Visit www.diannebarker.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Ben White at Unsplash.

A Rut's Just a Grave Open at Both Ends

Deb DeArmond focuses on relationships and conflict resolution, but in this Personal Growth UPGRADE, she addresses the topic of boredom in our work and ministries, and how we can instead look forward to new adventures with God.

Deb's friend asked her questions: “How long can you keep this up? Aren’t you tired of training the same program with the exact same materials every week—sometimes twice a week?”

I (Dawn) sometimes get on the treadmill of sameness, because it's a comfortable place to be. I can just accept my rut, but God calls me to be more open to His plans.

Deb continues . . .

My friend looked mystified. “It’s bound to get pretty boring," she said. "I couldn’t handle the monotony.”

My friend was referring to a major business project for an important client.

For 30 weeks this year, I will work with folks across the country in two-day training sessions, with two different groups scheduled each week.

The material remains the same; it’s one of this company’s non-negotiables to insure consistency across the nation. No spontaneous additions of something new or tweaking the content to relieve the potential boredom.

Achieving identical outcomes in Kansas this week as we did in Texas last week requires consistent input. It’s always the same, with one exception.

The people, of course, are different in each location.

From soup to nuts—and on occasion, there are a few of those—the participants are as diverse as they could possibly be.  

And therein lies the variety that keeps me showing up every week, excited to work with these fine folks.

They’ve taught me as much as I’ve taught them, and I’ve met interesting people with fascinating stories. I feel blessed each day I’m with them.

It’s a routine, but not a rut.

A rut is just a grave open at both ends. I’m not ready to jump in there quite yet, but I understood my friend’s observation.

The Oxford dictionary defines rut this way: “a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change.” Routine can create boredom.

But it’s easy.

It’s stress-free to show up, day after day, doing the same old thing. The routine becomes familiar and safe, if nothing else.

It’s tempting, even, to choose a path that makes few demands on us. We know how the day will come together—a no-surprise assignment.

We settle so easily.

A full life in Christ demands we explore possibilities, push past the humdrum, and place ourselves on notice: today could be the day Jesus shakes it all up. We should anticipate and actively prepare for the moment, so as it happens, we are ready to go with His flow!

Variety is indeed an essential ingredient to live fully in Him.

I doubt the disciples would have described their lives as boring.

• Peter walked on water.
• Paul survived a shipwreck.
• John in the wilderness.

Yeah, maybe not all fun and games, but never a snooze! And they each needed to make a clear decision to follow the Spirit of the Lord in the specific mission he had for each of them.

Life in Christ Can Be an Adventure.

Think of Queen Esther:

And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this? (Esther 4:14 NLT).

If we are prepared, we too may find our comfortable routines disturbed for such a time as this.

It’s a time that demands we stand firm on His Word yet move out of that familiar safe zone to fulfill His design for our lives.

Shake up the predictable and climb up out of your rut.

I’m not suggesting we should all quit our jobs, live like gypsies, and hit the road. Take one step at a time. And remember, there are great rewards waiting! Start small.

Ask yourself:

• What are the tasks or routines that, although once were enjoyable, no longer engage me spiritually, mentally and/or emotionally?
• What am I doing that I wish I weren’t?
• What holds me there?
• What interests me?
• What’s my first step to get involved or engaged?
• What’s the risk of stepping in?
• What’s the risk of NOT doing it?

Don't be afraid to explore new possibilities and actively prepare for your next adventure with God!

Are you in a rut? What might God want you to change or consider as you move forward?

Deb DeArmond is an expert in the fields of communication, relationship and conflict resolution. A writer and popular professional speaker, Deb focuses on topics related to the family and women. Deb’s books include: Related by Chance, Family by Choice on the topic of in-law relationships. I Choose You Today includes tips and strategies for making love last and she and her hubby cover marital conflict in Don’t Go to Bed Angry. Stay Up and Fight! Deb’s most recent release is Bumper Sticker Be-Attitudes, a humorous devotional. All available on Amazon. Read about Deb at Family Matters/Deb DeArmond and My Purpose Now. Her website is www.debdearmond.com.

Goals to Redeem Regret in 2020

When I think of pure lovers of the Word of God, the name Cathy Horning always comes to my mind. She approaches the scriptures with an honest heart, and then vulnerably shares what God is teaching her. In this New Year's UPGRADE, Cathy looks back over the year and talks about a word no one likes: "REGRET."

"As 2019 comes to a close, I have a great regret," she says. "Yet as we welcome 2020, it is a regret I intend to redeem.

"My regret is a latent skill which has gnawed at my heart for decades, one I have ignored, neglected, and excused away the older I have grown."

I (Dawn) so identify with this. I have some regrets too. Some, I can't do anything to change now, but Cathy has inspired me to redeem the ones I can.

Cathy continues . . .

This regret surfaced only two weeks ago, after I traveled across the border into Mexico to share my testimony with a precious group of women who are stepping out of poverty and brokenness.

Thankfully, I was blessed with a wonderful interpreter. The Lord was very present, and at work to speak hope and encouragement for their futures. 

When I returned home, however, I was convicted that I had neglected to attend to the beautiful Spanish language which I studied in high school and college. You see, for the past forty years, I rationalized that I did not need this skill in my everyday life.

Memories came of how Señor Reyes, my high school Spanish teacher, instilled in me a love and a passion for his native language—as well as what a stickler he was for proper pronunciation.

Living in Arizona, it only made sense to continue learning this second language in college. Sadly though, once I married and had children, I rarely gave it a another thought.

Over the years, I mostly ignored the gnawing within me to refresh and invest in Spanish. Occasionally, I would listen to a Spanish Bible on CD or a pick up a workbook, always with the best intentions. But, because of a full and busy life, it never lasted.

Eventually, my Spanish was laid aside once again.

I justified, when would I ever use my rusty, latent skill anyway?

I never imagined, at the ripe age of 60, I would be invited to cross the border from my California home and speak to a beautiful group of women who primarily spoke Spanish.

But, GOD KNEW!

And, although I was provided an excellent interpreter to help share my message, I was unable to talk personally to the women, and their precious children. I knew the basics, and although a few were bilingual, I regretted I had not maintained and invested in my Spanish, so that I could speak and listen to each one of them.

The conviction of my neglected skill, and the assurance that I will be invited back to Mexico, has inspired this grandma to dust off and work on relearning her valuable Spanish speaking skills.

I realize I may never be accomplished enough to speak a whole message without the aid of an interpreter, but as I step into the new year, I plan to redeem the regret I have, simply because I did not continue to invest in and keep sharp my Spanish language skills.

FIRST, I intend to follow the example of my mentor and role model, my daughter, who faithfully and diligently continues to practice her skill of the French language every day. Only, I will practice Spanish.

SECOND, I will use the same phone app she uses, an alarm set and all, which helps her to keep on track and be accountable to practice daily.

THIRD, I will follow my daughter’s discipline to read and listen to books and music in the Spanish language that I now know I need to re-learn.

FINALLY, like my daughter, I will keep this skill fresh and as sharp as I am able, for circumstances in the present, as well as for opportunities in the future.

Paul and Peter each admonish us in their letters:

"Do not neglect the gift that is in you..." (I Timothy 4:14 NKJV).

"Each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God" (1 Peter 4:10 NKJV)

Dear reader, as we enter a new year and a new decade, is there a stirring in your heart to learn or invest in a latent talent or skill? Perhaps, music, art, a language, a craft, hobby or other skill or interest? Is there a longing that lingers, one that never really goes away?

Could it be God’s whisper for eternal and kingdom purposes which He has created you for?

Cathy Horning has been a women’s ministry leader, Bible Study teacher, speaker and writer for almost three decades. She loves the Word of God. Nothing brings her greater joy than encouraging women how to walk in God's ways. Cathy is a popular speaker, blogger and writer, as well as a beloved wife to her husband of 37 years, mom to four, grammy to 13, and spiritual mom to many. She is the author of Letters from a Mother's Heart—Timeless Truths from One Mom's Journey. Read more here at her website.

Graphic adapted. Feather duster from Feather Duster Depot.

Ask Your Children Big-Picture Questions

As a special Father’s Day post and to help us Upgrade our parenting and/or ministry to children, I asked my friend, Nancy Leigh DeMoss of Revive Our Hearts ministry to share with us. So much of her life was shaped by the life example of her parents—especially her father. She often talks and writes about him. In 2013, Nancy wrote about a question her dad asked that helped her shape her life and ministry. *

“The scene is indelibly etched in my memory,” Nancy wrote. “I was 19 years old. My family was on a mission trip in Haiti—my parents’ (and my) favorite type of family 'vacation.'”

Reader, does this give you some insight into the type of family Nancy grew up in? This vacation is only a slice of the big picture of life and ministry her parents embraced.

Nancy continues ...

We were worshiping in a small Haitian church, sitting on hard wood benches. In the middle of the service, my dad leaned over to me and whispered,

“Honey, what are your 50-year goals?”

Now, I’ll confess I hadn’t given a lot of thought to my 50-year goals, prior to that moment. But over the next weeks, I set out to respond to his question. Of course, I didn’t know things like whether I would be married or single or what my specific ministry path would look like. But I tried to record what I wanted to be true of my life in 50 years—by the time I was 69—if the Lord was pleased to give me that many years.

Periodically I’ve gone back and reviewed the document that resulted from that exercise more than 35 years ago. It has proved to be a valuable reminder to be intentional, stay the course, and focus on the things that matter most.

While I would no doubt craft these goals a bit differently today, these are the same basic categories that I still believe are important. Even this week, in re-reading this list, I’ve been challenged to recalibrate my thinking in one particular area.

As a teen sitting in that Haitian church, 50 years seemed like an eternity away. I could not have imagined how quickly those years would pass—or how easy it would be to fritter away days, months, years—a lifetime.

Today, with less than 15 years left till I turn 69, I wish I were a whole lot further along toward these goals. I haven’t even come close to attaining all of them. But I’m confident I have grown more in these areas than I might have if it hadn’t been for my dad’s question. So for challenging me to this exercise—and for so much more—thank you, Dad!

I believe there is value in doing this kind of thinking at various points in life. And not only for yourself . . .

Don’t underestimate the potential impact of encouraging your children, grandchildren, and young friends to think through these kinds of big-picture questions.

Less than two years after I wrote these goals, on the weekend of my 21st birthday, my dad died suddenly of a heart attack.

I’m so thankful for his efforts to encourage me to live a purposeful life to the glory of God. And that he didn’t think the teen years were too young to challenge me to seek and embrace God’s vision for my future.

What questions could you ask your child, grandchild or another child you want to influence, to help shape big-picture thinking and priorities?

Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a mentor and "spiritual mother" to hundreds of thousands of women who have read her best-selling books and who listen to her two daily radio programs, Revive Our Hearts and Seeking Him. She communicates a love for the Lord and the Word that is infectious! Nancy is the author of many books, including Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. Learn more about her ministry and women’s revival conferences at Revive Our Hearts and True Woman.

* This post is part of an article at TrueWoman.com titled “My Dad’s Impromptu Challenge.” The article includes the goals that Nancy wrote when she was 19.

Bricks into Cathedrals

Sue Badeau is an amazing, caring woman. She loves to give children roots and wings. She and her husband are the lifetime parents of twenty-two children (two by birth and twenty through adoption). She knows a lot about “care-giving,” and I invited her to share some insights with us.

“As a caregiver, when you feel like you’re running into brick walls,” Sue says, “you’re well on the way to supporting healing and wholeness for your loved one.”

I have to tell you, I [Dawn] wept when I read this post. My own sister was a caregiver for my grandmother, and now she cares for my mom. I can’t wait to share this precious post with her.

Sue continues …

Caregiving is hard and may feel like there’s no end in sight. Whether caring for a child, spouse, sibling or aging parent coping with physical or mental challenges, grief or trauma, we need a hopeful vision.

A folktale challenges us to reframe our perspective:

A person on a journey came upon workers laying bricks. She stopped, asking the first, “What are you doing?”

“I’m laying bricks,” the first worker replied.

Not satisfied, she asked a second worker, “What are you doing?”

“I’m building a great and strong brick wall.”

Still seeking to better understand, the wayfarer asked a third worker, “What are you doing?”

The third worker responded with enthusiasm, “I’m building a soaring cathedral to last throughout time, drawing men and women to the glory of God."*

Laying bricks is important work. Each contributes to the whole. But don't focus solely on bricks. Upgrade your perspective. Today’s caregiving tasks are bricks helping the person you love to achieve his or her life purpose with dignity. Can you envision the sturdy wall you are building with today’s bricks?

Now, upgrade again. Stretch your vision to extend beyond the wall until you see the soaring cathedral. Are you able to enthusiastically and purposefully undertake your role contributing bricks, one-by-one, to the cathedral—even if it takes years or decades to complete? 

Effective parents and caregivers must have a soaring vision and then work towards this vision on a daily basis. 

“Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18).

Here are four tips for upgrading your life by developing and implementing cathedral visions to sustain you through the brick-laying work of parenting and caregiving:

(1) Imagine the future. What are all the hopes and possibilities for the child or person you are caring for? Engage the person him or herself in describing their own “cathedral.” Dream big!

(2) Place a visual representation of your “cathedral” to be seen daily. Whenever you’re discouraged, it’ll remind you of the cathedral you’re building! 

For example, one of our daughters was told she’d never walk due to cerebral palsy. She longed to dance. Her vision of dancing was her hope for a future of self-expression and independence. We placed a music box with a ballerina on top on her dresser. It was a visual reminder of the reason we slogged through difficult physical therapy (brick-laying) exercises.

(3) Break the vision into smaller components. Just as a cathedral-builder’s blueprint will include the layout of all necessary walls (See I Kings 6-7), for our daughter, components included learning to feed and dress herself, walk and climb stairs. 

(4) Prepare to make adjustments. Our daughter’s love for dance was the inspiration she—and we—needed to lay bricks for her to become the person God created her to be.

Today she is able to dance, but she is not defined as a dancer. Her cathedral changed as it soared to new heights. She is an independent adult, raising two children. The dance vision wasn’t the full cathedral, but it gave us all the perspective we needed to keep at it day after day.

Who are you caring for, laying bricks each day? Can you upgrade this to a Cathedral vision? (How about your own life—are you building a Cathedral?) Sue (and Dawn) would love to hear about your caregiving experiences.

Sue Badeau is a nationally known speaker, author, child welfare and trauma expert. Sue and her husband, Hector, are lifetime parents of twenty-two children, two by birth and twenty adopted. They wrote the book Are We There Yet: The Ultimate Road Trip Adopting and Raising 22 Kids. Learn more about Sue at suebadeau.com and badeaufamily.com. 

* Cathedral story adapted, author unknown. Photo of the cathedral taken by Sue Badeau.