How to Leave a Legacy

Sally Ferguson is refreshing and positive, and she challenges Christians to bring glory to God as they become all the Father means for them to be. In this Legacy UPGRADE, she encourages us to stretch our ideas about legacy and consider fresh ways to make a difference.

"What do birthdays, New Year’s celebrations, and funerals have in common?" Sally says. "Those are milestones where we scrutinize the trajectory of our lives."

I (Dawn) know Sally is right. I've experienced all three kinds of milestones over the past year, and each time, the Lord spoke to me about some important changes I needed to make if I want to create a legacy for my family.

Sally continues . . .

A recent trip to a cousin’s funeral got me pondering those familiar questions of impact and purpose.

What kind of legacy will I leave behind?

As I celebrate another birthday, I wonder, Am I making a difference in the world and in the people around me?

Maybe you question life too?

• Does my work matter?
• Does my family know I’m crazy about them?
• Am I making the best use of my time and talents?

I suspect a lot of people are asking those questions in what has been dubbed "The Great Resignation."

Since COVID hit, people are resigning from jobs they don’t like and moving closer to family and finding fulfilling work.

Family connections give us roots and wings—roots for stability and wings for dreams.

Are you wondering about your legacy? Here are a few things I learned from my cousin, Vern.

1. Add a little spunk to life.

With a sly grin, Vern could con you into working on his projects. His family laughed about the jobs he had waiting for their arrival, and delighted in tales of Vern’s mischievous antics.

Vern was always up for a game of Uno and very competitive. His great-nephew described hundreds of games matched with hilarity.

What does spunk look like for you? Add your twist of fun to every day. Bring joy to those around you and, in return, you will be blessed.

“A merry heart does good, like medicine” (Proverbs 17:22 NKJV).

2. Be a dedicated worker.

Vern was a people person and that was displayed in the way he treated his customers.

As a traveling salesman for many years, Vern showed an interest in others and was an interesting person to talk to. His curiosity for life was visible in every conversation and sparked many discussions. 

What is your work ethic?

Be a hard worker and a good steward of what’s been entrusted to you. Let your personality shine in your passion.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (Colossians 3:23-24 NIV).

3. Stay active.

In his later years, Vern participated in Rock Steady Boxing, a program designed to fight back against Parkinson’s Disease.

How do you exercise your main resource, your treasure and gift?

The Lord gave you a body to care for and protect. How’s that going?

“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18 NIV).

I have two thoughts on this verse.

• In order to love yourself, you have to take care of what you have.
• And, in order to love others, you have to participate in their lives. How will you get involved?

4. Release your creativity into the world.

Vern became skilled at a Norwegian painting process called Rosemaling. The delicate swirls and flowers adorned wood, slate, and paper in magnificent proportions.

What is your craft? Genesis 1:31 says,

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”

ALL OF IT!

We were made in the image of our Creator, and He equipped us to be creative.

Use your art to bless others. Sing. Sew. Swing a little one. All of it is an expression of who God made you to be.

5. Be a devoted Christ follower.

Even while serving in the Army, Vern stayed committed to his faith and displayed that in his purity. He swapped beer rations for soda rations, and when his stash got full, he even gave that away.

Roget’s Desk Thesaurus says to be pure is to be unspoiled, untarnished, and above suspicion.

Do your best to represent His best.

“I am the Lord your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy” (Leviticus 11:44 NIV).

How will you leave a legacy? Remember:

• You are a one-of-a-kind piece of artwork.
• Bring joy to those around you, and represent your King.

May your creativity leave our world a better place.

Oh, and by the way, Vern was 97 when he passed, with a sharp mind and a joy for life. He was still actively painting and playing his favorite card game.

I want to be like Vern when I grow up.

How will you leave your mark on those around you?

Sally Ferguson loves to dive into God’s Word and splash His refreshing water onto others. She speaks and writes with a look at snapshots of life in the sunshine and in the storms. Sally plans women’s retreats and she’s working on a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in the beautiful countryside of Jamestown, New York, with her husband and her dad. Visit Sally at her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Alexander Fox at Pixabay.

Leaving a Legacy of True Treasure

Cathy Horning, a true Bible lover, loves to help people understand the truths and treasures of scripture. In this Legacy UPGRADE, she shares how to leave a legacy to children and grandchildren that can make a difference in their lives.

"This month I turn 60!" Cathy says. "Six decades of life seemed the perfect time to write an upgrade post about milestones. Until, I received an unexpected gift that shifted my focus from years past to the ones which lie ahead."

I (Dawn) am in the proces of considering what legacy I will leave to my own family someday, so I truly appreciate Cathy's wisdom in this post.

Cathy continues . . .

The gift was an old Bible, a precious treasure which challenged me to be more purposeful about what I will leave behind one day.

You see, during the past year a deep regret had grown in my heart, because I had nothing which belonged to my grandmother. So, on a recent visit to my parents, my mom had no idea the special gift she was passing on to me when she gave me my grandma’s Bible.

And, if that wasn’t enough, joy flooded my heart when she opened the pages to reveal a treasure trove of notes, poems, and handwritten letters addressed “To God” and “To The Lord.” 

The inheritance of my grandmother’s Bible and it’s contents inspired me to be more intentional about leaving behind a legacy of true treasure.

1. Leave True Treasure

Growing up, we lived thousands of miles away from extended family and I loved when we would go for visits. But especially precious to me were the letters my grandmother and I wrote to each other. I’m sorry I didn’t keep her letters, which had been tangible reminders of her love, faith, support and encouragement.

So finding the letters she had written to the Lord in her Bible was like discovering true treasure.

2. Leave A Treasure Chest   

I wish I would have known to cherish the letters my grandma and I exchanged, and to keep them in a safe place. But I didn’t.

So as an adult, I am conscientious to keep journals I have written, notes and cards others have given to me, as well as pieces I have written for others.

I hope that one day the writings I have saved will be a treasure chest for my loved ones to explore.

3. Leave Imperishable Treasure 

The letters my grandmother and I wrote to each other are gone forever, but her plain, black, hardback Bible, filled with the handwritten letters of her prayers, lasted.

Still, after I read each note and letter, I found I was sad that there was nothing underlined or highlighted in her Bible to give me a  glimpse of what had spoken to her the most from God’s Word. Until, I showed my adult children my wonderful gift.

Then, as we looked through the notes and scraps of paper together, my daughters noticed that there were small black pencil marks next to passages throughout it’s pages. To me these marks have become an imperishable treasure.

This month as I turn 60, about the same age my grandmother was when she wrote her letters, the gift of her Bible stirred up questions in my own heart.

• What will I pass on?
• What will I leave to bless and encourage my loved ones?

Not just personal letters, like the ones between my grandma and me, but a spiritual heritage like Timothy’s grandmother and mother passed down to him.

“I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you… 

"Remain faithful to the things you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you. You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 1:5-7, 3:14-15)

More than anything, I want to pass on a treasure chest to my children and grandchildren. I want it to be filled with:

• Imperishable treasure from my own faith journey, 
• A true treasure of my own prayers and prayers God has answered, and of
• Testimonies of God’s faithfulness as I held on to the truths and promises in His Word.

My prayer is that this true treasure will fan into flame their own walks of faith, long after my life here is over and I am in my heavenly home. 

What legacy of true treasure will you leave behind? How would you want to "fan into flame" your family's walks of faith?

Cathy Horning is an author, blogger, speaker, Bible teacher, encourager, mentor, wife, mom, grammy to thirteen (and counting), and Jesus lover! She loves the Word of God! Absolutely, nothing brings her greater joy than sharing with others how very precious, practical and powerful are the promises and truths in God's Word, and how He desires to transform our lives into the men and women we were created to be! Learn more about Cathy here and here.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Bru-nO at Pixabay.

Tough Choices to Live a Life of Integrity

Becky Harling is funny, insightful, and intensely passionate that women learn how to live in emotional and spiritual freedom. In this Character UPGRADE, she writes about the choice to live in integrity.

"We’ve all experienced the crushing disappointment of Christian leaders that we’ve admired who have failed morally," Becky says. "What exactly is a life of integrity and how do we insure that we live a life of integrity and finish well?"

I (Dawn) am heartbroken to know of Christian friends in places of leadership who chose sin over a life of integrity; but Becky's words of warning and encouragement aren't just for leaders—they are for all of us.

Becky continues . . . 

Steve’s parents came and visited us this past summer. Now near 90, their lives have been marked by steadfast integrity. As a result, the generations after them have been blessed.

As I’ve was thinking about how God has used their integrity, I read Psalm 101.

In this delightful, short Psalm, David gives us very specific choices we can make to live a life of integrity.

Now I have to warn you, some of these choices are TOUGH!

Honestly, they go against the grain of our human sinful nature; and at times, they’re downright inconvenient.

But, the payoff is the legacy of integrity that’s left for those who are following behind. I know that’s what I want to leave behind. What about you?

If you want to leave a legacy of integrity to those coming up behind you here are three choices from Psalm 101 that you can make now!

1. Praise God for His love and goodness continually.

“I will sing of your love and justice; to you, Lord, I will sing praise” (Psalm 101:1).

The Hebrew word for praise that’s used here speaks to a celebration, praising God with song. Every day should be a celebration of God’s amazing love and goodness, but often that’s not the case, because we focus our thoughts on what we don’t have or what we wish we had.

What if you began every day by thanking God and praising Him for His love and goodness in your life? My guess is that you would live a more positive life, and you’d definitely be on your way to a life of integrity.

When we focus on God’s love rather than on all the things that go wrong in life, we’re more likely to make positive decisions. We’re not as grumpy and cranky.  

The next time you’re tempted to complain or gripe about something, shift your focus to God’s faithful love. Watch how your spirit grows more joyful almost instantly.

I’ll never forget when my friend, Jill’s, dad was admitted to assisted living. Often during that season of life, folks become cranky and resentful. But not Jill’s dad!

When Jill called Ed to ask how he was doing, he responded exuberantly, “Jill! This place is awesome! It’s like a cruise ship. I love it!”

Every time, we went to visit Ed, we left encouraged. Even during the last months of his life while he was enduring pain, Ed talked about the goodness of God and nurtured a thankful spirit.

I don’t know about you, but that’s the way I want to be, and that means I have to nurture a thankful heart now!

2. Be careful what you set your sights on. 

“I will not look with approval on anything that is vile” (Psalm 101:3).

Immoral choices don’t just happen. They usually start with lustful thoughts that have been nurtured.

We need to be careful and exercise a heart of discernment about what we gaze on and fill our minds with.  Sometimes even the news is so graphic and argumentative that we need to shut it off.

When you’re watching T.V. or a movie, ask yourself,

“Is this helping me follow Jesus more closely, or is it creating anxiety, worry, fear or lust in me?”

3. Walk away from gossip and dissention. 

"Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate” (Psalm 101:5).

It’s so easy—you’re having coffee with friends, and one friend starts to “share” how frustrated they are with a different acquaintance.

They need to process. So you listen, and soon you’re drawn in to something more deadly than just processing a frustration.

Here’s the thing: we’re called to not have any part in slander.

So, what do you do? You could say something positive and walk away. You could change the topic. Or you could say, “I’m not comfortable cutting that person down. I don’t have all the facts, and I don’t want to be guilty of gossip.”

Friend, these are sometimes hard choices. It may seem that they’re not very big choices, and what do they really matter?

But they DO matter.

By making choices after God’s own heart, one choice after another, you’ll be building a life of integrity. 

Which of the three tough choices do you struggle with most? What can you do to upgrade your level of integrity?

Becky Harling. Authentic. Passionate. Funny. Insightful. Becky is a frequent speaker at conferences, retreats, and other venues. She is the author of Who Do You Say I Am?, Rewriting Your Emotional Script, Freedom from Performing, The 30 Day Praise Challenge and The 30 Day Praise Challenge for Parents. Becky is married to Steve Harling and has four adult kids and five grandkids. Visit her website and blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of qimono at Pixabay.

Holiday Hope for Aging Parents

Including aging parents in our holiday plans can take some extra thought, but as Cynthia Ruchti shows us in this Holiday UPGRADE, it's so worth the time and effort!

"Aging parents—and caring for them—can upgrade the holidays for us," Cynthia says. "And it’s about time."

I (Dawn) like that. I like any time we can upgrade the holidays. We do it with decorations and events, but what about the people in our lives? How do we give a meaningful dose of holiday hope to our aging parents?

Cynthia continues . . .

In many families, Grandma and Grandpa once provided the setting for all the holiday memory-making.

Theirs was the groaning dining room table with a feast and decorations that revealed days’ worth of cooking, baking, preparation.

Theirs was the backyard hill for sledding and snow forts.

The presents under the Christmas tree might have crowded against each other with the grandparents’ generosity and homemade gifts.

But now, a hospital bed might occupy the spot a glittering tree once claimed.

The living room of the grandparents’ home is “decorated” with the trappings of ill health and aging—walkers, commodes, lift chairs. The sounds of Christmas music in the background competes with the sound of the oxygen machine.

Or Grandma and Grandpa are in reasonably good health, but living in a small apartment or an assisted living home.

We can change the setting for holiday gatherings. Christmas at Aunt Cheryl’s this year. Or Thanksgiving dinner at the home of Grandma and Grandpa’s eldest child.

But how do we keep our grip on cherished traditions, include rather than exclude the aging, and find new ways to “Honor thy father and mother” (Exodus 20:12 KJV) when the holidays include tasks of caregiving for aging parents?

And how will doing so upgrade our holiday experiences?

I love how God included the elderly in the original Christmas story.

Luke 1 starts not with the angel Gabriel’s visit to Mary, but with Zechariah, an aged priest, who by God’s grace had a son despite his wife’s lifelong barrenness. That son—John—prepared the way for the coming Messiah.

Bookending the story of the birth of Christ are other characters of many years—Simeon, who blessed the eight-day-old infant Jesus in the temple, and Anna, a prophet described as “very old.” She’d been married only seven years, and at the time of Jesus’s birth was an 84-year-old-widow.

Anna was among the first to Tweet the news about the birth of the Messiah.

(She “tweeted” with whole sentences, though, telling everyone she knew, everyone who had been looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem that He had been born, according to Luke 2:38.)

Zechariah, Simeon, Anna—their ages added to the encompassing picture of the Christmas story.

And so can the elderly in our families, even if their needs require special accommodations during the holidays.

• Encourage Grandpa or Grandma to pray over the holiday meal, if that’s long been a tradition in your home and they are still able to communicate.
• If you host the holiday gathering at some place other than their residence, consider bringing something familiar to anchor them in the new scene—a favorite afghan, their heirloom nativity set, Grandma’s good china or silverware.
• Use double-sided name tents at each place setting to boost Grandma’s or Grandpa’s memory about the names of their loved ones.
• Unless it’s physically impossible, include them in safe but meaningful ways in the food preparation. Some aging parents/grandparents grow restless and uncomfortable around the holidays because it’s a reminder of traditions in which they can no longer participate. Even if someone else needs to yield the knife, can Grandma arrange the vegetables on the crudité platter? If Grandpa once carved the turkey but can no longer manage the task, can he be given the honor of making the first slice?
• Reserve time for aging parents to tell their stories.
• Show consideration for their tolerance for noise and commotion. Plan quiet activities in addition to what was once delightful chaos for them.
• Consider, too, their nutritional restrictions. Rather than making them bypass their favorite foods, find ways to accommodate an extra bowl of salt-free gravy or seedless blackberry jam for their dinner roll.
• If aging parents or grandparents are confined by health needs to a nursing home facility, give the gift of your extended presence sometime during the holidays. Unhurried. Reminding them, and the staff, that they are treasured, dearly loved. If they live far away from the family festivities, bring video messages from their children and grandchildren, so they know they were thought of, remembered, cherished.
• Even if you send Thanksgiving or Christmas greetings only by email and Facebook, take the time to send cards to the aging.

God did not tell us to honor our father and mother when it’s convenient.

Or when their needs don’t interfere with our plans.

Or only when they … and we … are young.

What does your family do to honor elderly members during the holidays? In what ways have you discovered that “it’s about time”?

Cynthia Ruchti tells stories hemmed-in-Hope through award-winning novels, nonfiction, devotionals, and through speaking events for women. Her recent book—As My Parents Age: Reflections on Life, Love, and Change—addresses many challenging and tender aspects of caring for aging parents or grandparents. http://www.cynthiaruchti.com, http://www.hemmedinhope.com

7 Ways to Be a Woman of JOY!

Kate Hagen is a gifted and insightful writer with a heart for women's issues. On her blog, she took readers on her journey of grief, insight and joy as her precious mom struggled with cancer. In this Attitude UPGRADE, she shares part of the the incredible character that made up Peggy Leslie.

“On my mom’s gravestone it reads ‘Woman of Joy,’” Kate says.

I (Dawn) already wrote a tribute to Kate's mom last year, but as we near the anniversary of her home-going, I asked Kate to share some of the things her mom did on a regular basis that made her such a joy-filled woman of God—earning that gravestone tribute.

Kate continues...

It’s no small thing to me that I was raised by a joyful mom. 

Of course I didn’t appreciate it as a kid. Yet, as I approach the one-year anniversary of her death, I am in awe of the joy she had throughout life and throughout cancer, and I am inspired to be more like her.

Here are 7 ways my mom was a woman of joy (and how you can be too).

1. Always Be Interested in Others.

The second you walked into Mom’s house, she would stop what she was doing, grab your face, look you in the eyes, and welcome you.

And, although she often complained about forgetting things, she had an uncanny ability to remember details about everyone’s lives.

She wouldn’t just say hello. She would ask about the last conversation you had and let you know she’d been praying for you. Somehow she made everyone feel like the most important person on earth.

Joy builder: "Let each of you look no only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Phil 2:4).

2. Be “Game” for Everything.

The answer to all requests we made of Mom were an enthusiastic, “Yes!” She did almost everything any of her 5 kids or 12 grandkids asked her to do. She only reluctantly said no if she already had plans. Even if she didn’t feel like doing the activity you asked her do, she did it so that she could BE with and ENJOY you.

Joy builder: "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace" (I Peter 4:10).

3. Pray and Read the Bible without Stopping.

Mom was faithful in her morning routine of Bible reading, prayer and journaling.

Each of her kids had a special prayer day (affectionately called SPD) where she prayed especially for us. A text or phone call would inevitably come that day as she talked to God about us.

This was a vital beginning to her morning - a time when she asked God to help her be more joyful.

Joy builder: "Pray without ceasing" (I Thes 5:17).

4. Do What You Enjoy.

Although Mom was constantly serving others and looking to their needs above her own, she also took a lot of personal breaks.

She loved a glass of coke, Snickers bar and a good book. The two places you’d be most likely to find her were in her big, comfy recliner reading, or at her beautiful office desk writing.

Both of those things gave her joy and she made sure to do them almost every day.

Joy builder: "If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing well" (James 2:8).

5. Don’t Give Up Looking for Joyful Solutions.

Mom was never defeated!

If something wasn’t going as she hoped, or she didn’t have all the resources she needed, she loudly proclaimed, “There’s almost always something you can do!”

She was hilariously resourceful and didn’t let troubles define her; she found solutions for problems.

She looked for joy!

Joy builder: "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come" (Prov 31:25).

6. Don’t Be "Normal."

Mom was not afraid to be her unique self. She was not like other moms; she was fully HER.

I remember complaining about something strange she did, and she replied, “Would you want a mom who’s normal?” Well, yes. In Jr. High I did.

But, now, I’m so grateful she didn’t give into the pressure to be like those around her. She appreciated whom God had made her to be and she lived it fully and joyfully!  

Joy builder: "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well" (Psalm 139:14).

7. Don’t Worry; You’re in the Lord’s Hands.

Her famous quote throughout cancer was, “I’m in the Lord’s hands.”  She literally said this hundreds of times.

As I’ve read through her journals, I see she told herself this over and over as well.

She believed, without a shadow of doubt, that God was holding her. That God loved her. That God was sustaining her. She loved Him and trusted Him so deeply. And this brought her joy.

She was not afraid of cancer or death at all. Her attitude was, “Why should I be? I’m in the Lord’s hands!”

Joy builder: "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matt 6:34).

Mom is STILL a Woman of Joy!

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11).

I would be honored if my mom’s life and death encouraged you to become a greater woman of joy.

Let me know which of these is most difficult for you and how you hope to grow in that area. I’d love for us to encourage each other together in this pursuit of JOY!

Kate Hagen spends most of her time teaching, knowing and loving her three kids in their beach community of Leucadia, CA. She has a Master’s Degree in Biblical Counseling and has written, spoken and counseled women about mothering, body image and health. She runs a small essential oil business from her home, and usually smells pretty good. At her website you can read her journey of grieving and laughing as her mom passed of cancer, as well as her thoughts on the Bible and body image.