Who Are You? What Are You Doing Here?

Kolleen Lucariello is one of my favorite writers because she is funny and factual (biblically), practical and passionate (about God's Word). In this special UPLIFT, she writes about her dad, and a precious lesson she learned about herself while observing his life.

"'I don’t mean to be blunt, but who are you and what are you doing here?' my father repeated to the unfamiliar face joining my mother and I at the kitchen table.

"I’d given him the information," Kolleen said, "but with Alzheimer’s holding him hostage, he asked again, 'Who are you and what are you doing here?'"

It's not hard for me (Dawn) to understand that scenario. I remember how brokenhearted I felt one evening when I spoke to my mom and sister on FaceTime. My mom peered at the image on her screen and asked my sister, "Who IS that?" I wiped away a tear.

I'm glad Kolleen goes on to share a sweet lesson she learned after her dad asked those questions.

Kolleen continues . . . 

I reintroduced the new home health aide to my dad. 

“A home health aide? Well, what do we need one of those for?” Dad continued.

 “Help. Sometimes, we just need someone to help care for us.” I replied.

His rebuttal held little doubt of his confidence that they needed no help, when he turned to the aide and again asked, “Who are you and what are you here for?”

When I’ve replayed that moment countless times over the months since, inevitably two thoughts enter my mind.

First, sorrow floods me with my front row seat of this awful disease that is stealing my dad from us.

My second thought is to pause and reflect on his question: Who are you and what are you doing here?

The answers to these questions evaded me for many years of my life, causing such inner turmoil and conflict that I often found myself wrestling with dis-ease.

If you had asked me to answer my dad’s simple questions a few years ago, you might have heard something like,

I am Kolleen, and I am here to make other people happy.

I have since discovered that a heavy weight of dis-ease was created when I conditioned myself to believe my sense of identity and purpose could only be found when I felt others’ approval and acceptance.

A near emotional breakdown led me to the realization that we were only meant to live for the approval of the One who created us. 

I am so grateful John took notes the day Jesus spoke these words to the crowd:

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me” (John 15:4 NLT).

It is through my remaining, or abiding, in Christ that I become the most authentic version of myself. However, whenever the familiar nudge to win approval sneaks in desiring to hold me hostage, I am the only one who can decide if I’m willing to participate.

It still catches me from time-to-time when I shift my focus and allow my heart to wander from that place Jesus invites each of us into—the place of abiding. 

It doesn’t take too long before those who know me best recognize that shift of focus and help me find my focus again. We need to be in relationship with others who help us live in the identity and purpose God has for us. They help bring an upgrade in our life. 

So, who am I?

• I am the most authentic representation of my true self when I remain in Jesus, for it is in Christ that I am blessed, chosen, and alive.
• I am even a masterpiece in the Father’s eyes (identity) created to do the good work He prepared for me to do (purpose) (Ephesians 1:3, 2:1,10).

And if this is who I am in Christ, it’s who you are too. After all,

“God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us” (1 Corinthians 12:6 NLT). 

What are we here for?

We are here to reveal the character of Christ to everyone through every encounter so good fruit is produced and brings glory to the Father (Matthew 5:16).

What might happen if we no longer lived according to our own plan and purpose and instead asked God to show us His?

Imagine if whatever we do or say, we “do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17a NLT). 

In Christ, we no longer live life just “to please ourselves” (Romans 15:1). Instead, we “patiently embrace others” with our goal being “to empower others to do what is right and good for them, and to bring them into spiritual maturity” (Romans 15:2 TPT).

Paul empowers every New Testament believer to know who they are so they can live a life of purpose and identity. He gives us detailed descriptions of who we are in Christ in the book of Ephesians.

I think it’s time for you to be released from the effects of dis-ease by living in the identity Jesus died to give you.   

Now, I don’t mean to be blunt, but I must ask: Who are you and what are you here for?

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of #beYOU: Change Your Identity One Letter at a Time and is the Co-Director of Activ8Her, Inc. She is passionate to every woman realize her identity in Christ and live accordingly. Kolleen and her hubby, Pat, make their home in Central New York. She’s the mom of three grown children and Mimi to six incredible grands. For more information about Kolleen, visit www.speakkolleen.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of ar130405 at Pixabay.

Who We Are and What We Have—In Christ

Sometimes we forget who we are. And forgetting can have sad, even devastating consequences.

When I realized who I am and what I have in Christ, it revolutionized my thinking. And the more I focus on these truths, the more freedom, peace and courage I have in my life and ministry.

There are three things I discovered in my study. In Christ, I have a new identity, absolute security, and God-given dignity.

Let me unpack those for you here:

I. In Christ, you have a New IDENTITY

• You are a new creature, born of God – 2 Corinthians 5:17; I John 4:7
• You are ALIVE! You have eternal life – Ephesians 2:5; John 5:24
• You are also dead to sin's power—crucified with Christ – Romans 6:1-6; Galatians 2:20
• You are washed and sanctified (made holy) through the sacrifice of Jesus – I Corinthians 6:11; Hebrews 10:10, 13-14
• You are justified (made righteous) – Romans 5:1
• You are reconciled to God – Romans 5:10-11; Colossians 1:22
• You are redeemed and forgiven – Colossians 1:13-14
• You are accepted and blessed in the Beloved – Romans 15:7; Ephesians 1:6
• You belong to God – I Corinthians 6:19-20
• You are His adopted, chosen child – Ephesians 1:3-8; I John 3:1-2
• You become a part of God’s family, a member of His household – John 1:12-13; Ephesians 2:19
• You become a member of Christ’s body – I Corinthians 12:27
• You are one with Christ (in spirit) – I Corinthians 6:17
• You are complete in all the fullness of Christ - Colossians 2:9-10
• You are a child of light, not darkness - I Thessalonians 5:4-5
• You have a new mind—a new way of thinking – I Corinthians 2:16
• You are Jesus’ friend - John 15:15

II. In Christ, you have Absolute SECURITY

• You are indwelt and sealed for God’s purposes – I Corinthians 2:12; 2 Corinthians 1:21-22
• You cannot be separated from the love of God – Romans 8:31-39
• You are connected to the True Vine – John 15:5
• You are safe from the Evil One, rescued from Satan’s domain – I John 5:18; Colossians 1:13
• You are prounced free from condemnation and accusation because Jesus paid it all—your penalty for sin – Romans 8:1-2; Colossians 1:22
• Your new self is hidden securely from the world, but settled in Him – Colossians 3:1-4
• You have new courage—you do not need to fear, because you’ve been given a spirit of power, love, and sound thinking – 2 Timothy 1:7
• You are being transformed—be assured that God is working on your behalf, making you more like Jesus – Romans 8:29
• You can be confident that God will finish what He’s started - Philippians 1:6

III. In Christ, you have God-given DIGNITY

• You are a unique workmanship with a special purpose and God-ordained tasks – Ephesians 2:10
• You are appointed to do “the works of Christ” and bear fruit – John 14:12; 15:16
• You are “seated in the heavenlies” and have a heavenly calling – Hebrews 3:1
• You are a disciple with a mission – Matthew 28:19-20
• You are a citizen of heaven – Philippians 3:20
• You are an heir of God (a joint heir with Christ) – Romans 8:17; Galatians 4:7
• You are a child of the King—and a royal, set-apart priest to serve the Father – 1 Peter 2:5, 9-10; Rev. 1:5-6
• You will share an inheritance with the other saints in God’s “kingdom of light” – Colossians 1:10-12
• You are God’s holy “temple,” indwelt by His Spirit – I Corinthians 3:16
• You are a Minister of the New Covenant and of Reconciliation – 2 Corinthians 3:6; 5:17-21
• You are an ambassador – 2 Corinthians 5:20
• You are empowered to be effective and victorious – Philippians 4:13
• You are salt and light to reach the world; a light shining in a dark place – Matthew 5:13-14; 2 Peter 1:19
• You are blessed with every spiritual blessing – Ephesians 1:3
• You are a child of promise, receiving the promised Spirit through faith and receiving a new nature – Romans 9:8; Galatians 3:14; 2 Peter 1:4

I encourage you to study each point, and rejoice in who you are and what you have in Christ.

Which of these categories of who you are and what you have in Christ speaks to you today? How will you allow it to change or encourage you?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for Revive Our Hearts and a writer at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in Southern California and have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Lightstock.

Are You Really Addiction-free?

Surviving and thriving after numerous trials, Yvonne Ortega speaks words of wisdom to women who hurt and struggle. In this "Choices" UPGRADE, she encourages women to break free from their addictions.

Yvonne asks, “When you think about addiction, do you imagine a drunk person, who slurs his words, stumbles, and smells of alcohol? Perhaps you visualize a drug addict in a questionable neighborhood selling family possessions to buy illegal drugs."

Because I (Dawn) have faced few "addictions" of my own—like obsession with food—I know addictions can overwhelm anyone. But I also know from experience: we can break free!

There truly is hope!

Yvonne continues . . .

You may think that if you don’t drink or smoke, you are addiction-free.

• However, you may be addicted to food, such as sugar.

Can you make a meal out of candy, cookies or cake? Do you stop at the store, buy a half-gallon of ice cream, and eat it in one sitting? You may be obese. You eat when you worry, get bored, or can’t cope with grief or some other pain. Rather than talk with a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor, you eat.

Philippians 3:19 addresses this problem and says, “Their god is their stomach” (NIV).

• Perhaps you go shopping to cope.

Your father verbally, physically or sexually abused you as a child. You held in the anger and pain of that abuse, but turned to shopping to cope. Now if someone hurts you, you go shopping.

Until you face that pain, you will stay addicted to shopping. 

• Maybe you’re a slave to perfectionism.

If you invite guests to your home, your house will be in perfect order inside and out. You’ll probably clean the windows too. You’ll serve a homemade meal and wear the perfect outfit and have every hair in place.

Your addiction to perfectionism won’t allow you to relax, enjoy your guests, or life for that matter.

• If you choose unhealthy relationships, you might date an alcoholic, a batterer, or a gambler.

As one woman said, “My boyfriend doesn’t have a job, but he has a motorcycle. He’s exciting.” As she talked about the different men she dated, she said, “My parents never liked any of them, but they were fun—even the one who ruined my credit.”

She was addicted to unhealthy men and wanted to help them. She needed help to improve her self-confidence.

How can you BREAK FREE from addiction?

1. Admit that you use an escape mechanism to avoid reality.

James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

It’s not enough to admit the addiction to yourself.

Do so to a pastor, a Christian counselor, or to a Christian recovery group. Confession and prayer will help you. 

2. Establish accountability.

The devil wants you crippled with guilt, shame, and secrecy.

Psalm 34:5 says, “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (NIV).

When you meet weekly with your pastor or counselor, you set up accountability. This is comparable to a sponsor in a 12-step group. 

3. Know who you are in Christ.

Find Bible verses about your identity in Christ, such as Ephesians 2:10 (NIV):

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Each day repeat those verses often.

Once you believe with your heart and soul who you are, the relief from addiction won’t entice you.

What will you do this week to break free from addiction?

Yvonne Ortega is a licensed professional counselor, a bilingual professional speaker, and the author of Moving from Broken to Beautiful® through Forgiveness, Moving from Broken to Beautiful: 9 Life Lessons to Help You Move Forward (both in paperback, Kindle) and Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer (Kindle), all available at amazon.com/books. She not only survived but thrived after a domestic violence marriage, breast cancer, and the loss of her only child. With honesty and humor, Yvonne uses personal examples and truths of the Bible to help women move from broken to beautiful. Learn more about Yvonne at her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesty of TeeTasse, Pixabay.

I Can (Thanks to Jesus!)

In this Thanksgiving UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson invites us to be thankful for all the things we can do ... in Christ.

I was one of those bratty kids who stomped her feet and pouted with an obstinate, "I CAN'T!"

Mom would hear none of it. She promptly showed me how quickly I could, with a little "backside encouragement," do what she asked.

Old habits die hard. I still tend to say, "I can't," whenever the Lord asks me to do something.

God says, "Invite that woman to church."

"I can't. I'm afraid."

Or, "Teach that class."

"I can't. I'm not as smart as so-and-so."

Sometimes my "can't" really is a stubborn "won't," but most of the time it's because I think I'm not enough.

Not good enough, smart enough, young enough, connected enough. So many excuses.

You'd think I would have learned by now that God is my sufficiency in all things—especially those things HE calls me to do.

It's not that we are necessarily qualified to do anything on our own, but our competence and sufficiency come from the Lord—"It is God who makes us able to do all that we do" (2 Corinthians 3:4-5).

It's amazing how scripture can cut through all the "I can't-because-I'm-not-enough" excuses.

Here is another verse that is often quoted (and seldom fully embraced):

"I can do all things," it says in Phillipians 4:3, "through Christ who strengthens me."

All things.

Through Christ.

Believing that truth frees me to choose wisely, grow strong and be faithful to all God calls me to do.

I've learned that:

1. In Christ, I can DO it.

I can do the hard things. The things I've avoided, made excuses about or feared.

I can even do the thing the enemy keeps throwing up to me as "impossible," because "with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).

2. In Christ, I can FACE it.

I can face my ugly past—and we all have one, from God's perspective. I can do this because God has forgiven me and made me righteous in Christ and right with God (1 John 1:9; Ephesians 1:7; 2 Corinthians 5:21).

I can face tough circumstances now because the Spirit of the Lord is with me (Psalm 118:6; 23:4; Matthew 28:20b).

I can face an uncertain future with hope and confidence too! (Psalm 23:6; 2 Corinthians 5:6, 8; Romans 8:28). 

3. In Christ, I can OVERCOME it.

I can take heart because Jesus, who has already overcome the world (John 16:33), can help me overcome my sins and addictions. God is faithful to help me, and when I am weak, He is strong (1 Corinthians 10:13; 2 Corinthians 12:10).

By faith, I can overcome, because Jesus in me is greater than the enemy Satan and his hoard of demons (1 John 4:4; 5:4). I can CHOOSE not to be overcome by evil, but instead CHOOSE to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).

I am an overcomer, because I am no longer a slave to sin. God's light has shined into my darkness and changed my heart (John 1:5; Romans 6:6, 6:18; Galatians 4:7).

Why did I make this "I Can" post my Thanksgiving praise today?

I praise the Lord for all the BLESSINGS that have come into my life because of this great truth: I CAN ... in Christ! 

When have you said, "I can't"? What is God telling you today?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for Revive Our Hearts and a writer at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in Southern California and have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.