Five Ways to Speak God's Love Language

Debbie W. Wilson always has a fresh perspective on familiar Christian truth. In this Relationship with God UPGRADE, she reminds us that there are ways we can learn to "speak God's love language."

Debbie says, “My husband doesn’t show me love,” the distraught woman who sat before me complained.

I (Dawn) think that nearly every married woman has thought that from time to time. We just want more and more love—and not only from a spouse! But remember, when we "speak" someone's love language, it isn't always with words.

Debbie continues . . .

This woman’s husband provided for her financially, maintained her car without being asked, vacuumed the house, and cleaned up after supper. But she longed for quality time and deep conversations.

Because acts of service were not her love language, this woman had overlooked her husband’s demonstrations of love.

A hunger to express and experience love runs through the human DNA.

Considering this made me wonder if that need extends to our relationship with God. If so, what are some ways to enhance this love relationship? Does God have a love language?

Hebrews 11:6 says faith is God’s love language.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (NIV).

Did you catch the reciprocal nature of faith as described in this verse? Those who believe in God also believe God rewards them for seeking Him.

Loving Jesus enables us to receive His love. John 14:21 says,

“Those who love me will have my Father’s love, and I, too, will love them and show myself to them” (GW).

Let’s look at ways to enhance our love relationship with God.

5 Ways to Speak God’s Love Language

1. Pray

Prayer demonstrates a relationship with God and faith that He is good.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened… Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matt. 7:7-11 NIV).

2. Demonstrate Trust through Thanksgiving

Gratitude demonstrates faith in God’s goodness and sovereignty. It shows I believe He is bigger than my mistakes and the wrongs I’ve endured (Rom. 8:28).

Faith allows me to pray with thanksgiving before I see God’s answer (Phil. 4:6-8).

A large ministry fired an honorable young man without cause. His mother wrestled with God over this betrayal. Before the year was out, a scandal hit the press concerning those who’d mistreated her son.

“God spared my son,” she said. “And I’d thought He’d forgotten him.”

“Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God’s will in Christ Jesus that you do this” (1 Thes. 5:18 GW).

3. Worship

Worship shows we believe He is worthy of our devotion and reminds us He’s bigger than anything clamoring for our time and attention.

“Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything” (Ps. 46:10 The Message).

4. Obey

Obedience demonstrates love and faith (Jn. 14:15-16).

“Whoever knows and obeys my commandments is the person who loves me” (Jn. 14:21 GW).

“In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome” (1 Jn. 5:3 NIV).

5. Live Clean

Receiving and appreciating our forgiveness shows faith in Jesus and increases our love for Him (1 Jn. 1:9, Titus 2:14).

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love” (Luke 7:47 NLT).

Through faith we express our love to God and experience His love in return.

Every step we take in faith causes God’s heart to sing. 

Does your relationship with God need a boost? Consider the list above. Which one needs your attention?

Debbie W. Wilson, Bible teacher and former biblical counselor, combines insight and encouragement to inspire people to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Little Women, Big God, and Give Yourself a Break. She and her husband Larry founded Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling and Bible study ministry. Debbie enjoys dark chocolate, a good mystery, and the antics of her two standard poodles. Find free resources and connect with Debbie at RefreshingFaith.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Kalhh at Pixabay.

Uplift Your Worship

Morgan Farr continues to amaze me by her determined mothering and ministry. In this Christmas UPGRADE, she gets personal—sharing how God taught her lessons through a classic Christmas carol, 'O Holy Night.'"People tend to love Christmas music or absolutely hate it," Morgan says. "There seem to be few people who are neutral in this debate."

Count me (Dawn) in the first group. Long before I became a Christ-follower, I believe Christmas hymns and carols played a part in drawing me to Christ.

Morgan continues . . .

I happen to be one who adores Christmas music. But this was not always the case.

Christmas of 2017, I had a breakthrough. I learned to worship more freely through the lyrics of "O Holy Night" and a rowdy two-year-old.

My family was stationed in San Diego, California, at the time. My husband was working with Naval Special Warfare and was gone more often than not. We had three children ages three and under, so my life was chaotic.

On a rare weekend when my husband happened to be home, we decided to take the kids to see a matinee of the Christmas movie, The Star.

The kids were three, two, and eight-months-old, so I wasn’t entirely sure how sitting through a movie would go.

I think I talked myself out of going twice on the way there. 

Mercifully, the only other people in the theater were a set of grandparents with their two young grandsons.

As the movie progressed, the song 'O Holy Night' played in the background. This song has been a favorite for most of my life, so I played it often in my house; but that afternoon it got a new place in my heart.

As soon as he recognized the song, my two-year-old son stood up in the aisle and belted out 'O Holy Night' at the top of his lungs.   

Listening to my two-year-old unapologetically celebrating was a moment that permanently changed the way I think of worship—and the lyrics of 'O Holy Night' were the catalyst.

Lessons from 'O Holy Night'

1. Raise Your Voice.

“O holy night! The stars are brightly shining; it is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.”

In the first part of the song, we simply call out the gloriousness of the night. Do you speak openly of God’s incredible gift to us? If not, what is holding you back?

Psalm 145:11 says,

“They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom, and talk of thy power.”

Speak boldly of the gift that God gives us. Share the news of His glory with those around you.

2. Recognize the Need.

“Long lay the world in sin and error pining, till He appears and the soul felt its worth.”

When I share with someone about why I follow Christ, is this what I say? Without Christ, we are lost to sin, permanently separated from God.

Philippians 3:8 says,

"What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ."

Do I explain that life without Christ leaves a hole that leaves me searching? Do I show with my actions that Christ is worthy of my worship?

3. Remember the Hope.

“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

Jesus Christ was born, lived a sinless life, was crucified and buried, only to raise again three days later— redeeming us all from our depravity. He is the hope that generations cried out for and that we get to experience through salvation.

When I am weary of the happenings of the world, do I remember that Jesus is King of Kings and will return in glory?

4. Revel in Him.

“Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices! O night divine, O night when Christ was born; O night divine, O night, O night Divine.”

Do I worship the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords with appropriate adoration?

1 Chronicles 16: 23-25 says,

“Sing to the LORD, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples. For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods.”

Am I hesitant to sing out in church or with my family on the chance that I might fumble the words or miss a note? Not anymore.

My son’s rendition of 'O Holy Night' reminded me that when worshiping our Savior, the notes don’t matter, the stumbles are forgotten.

It is the act of worshiping the Most High God with everything that I have that matters. It reminds me to focus on the incredible gift we have been given in Christ, not just at Christmas, but every single day.

This holiday season, I want to encourage you to break free of any restraints that might prevent you from fully worshipping God.

If you need an example of what that looks like, check out the children in your church. See what it looks like to approach the Creator of the universe through the eyes of a child.

After all, that is how the Savior of the world appeared on that oh, so holy night.

How can you worship him more this holiday season?

Morgan Farr, an Army wife, is a succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Morgan homeschools her four young children and trains her working dogs while leaning heavily on Jesus. Morgan is the Director of Publishing at Planting Roots, a ministry for military women and wives. You can connect with Morgan on all major social media channels using her handle: morgandfarr.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Angeles Balaguer at Pixabay.

Are You 'Testing Positive'?

In this Attitude UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson encourages intentional choices for hope, joy and optimism.

In the tests of life, are you testing positive?

Over the past year with the COVID-19, we've become so aware of the phrase "testing positive." A positive test means a person may have antibodies from an infection with the virus that causes COVID-19 or another related coronavirus.

"Testing positive" can also can be a result for any other number of tests for various cancers and diseases.

It's usully not a happy day when we "test positive."

"Testing positive" can either be considered good or bad when it comes to pregnancy tests. Christians believe children are a heritage from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), but sometimes the timing of a pregnancy can cause someone to doubt that!

Yet nothing takes our God by surprise. He often has greater plans than we can anticipate.

There's also such a thing as testing "false positive."

A test can incorrectly indicate that a particular condition or attribute is present. For example, during stress testing, which is a routine diagnostic tool used to detect heart disease, women have a significant number of false positives.

The Lord spoke to me about my attitudes a few weeks ago. I got caught up in all the negative news on television, and it colored my thoughts and attitudes.

It was as if the Lord said,  

"I want you to walk with me in the light, and not in the darkness. Put away your negativity. I am the God of Hope!"

You see, I had a "false positive."

• On the outside—I had the appearance of joy.
• On the inside—I was dark, fretful, and grumbling.
• On those days, the condition of my heart did not line up with what I said I believed.

God sees the heart (1 Samuel 16:7); He knows the truth about our attitudes. The Holy Spirit convicts us of sinful attitudes (John 16:8) so we can realign our hearts with God's Word and walk in truth, pleasing our Father God.

Christians should be realists, but they also should be the most positive, optimistic people in the world.

God's grace and mercy are deep to meet our needs (Hebrews 4:16), and His promises for the family of faith are incredible.

Why We Can Be Positive in Christ

• We are new creations, made alive with Him (2 Corinthians 5:17; Ephesians 2:5);
• We are inhabited by the Trinity—God takes up residence (John 14:17; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20; Colossians 1:27; 1 John 4:15);
• We are partakers of the divine nature and have a new heart (2 Peter 1:4; Ezekiel 11:19);
• We are no longer slaves to sin, but called to be holy and pleasing to God (Romans 6:5-6; Romans 12:1);
• Free from condemnation, we now can walk according to the Spirit (Romans 8:1);
• We are being transformed, conformed to the image of Christ (Ephesians 4:22-24; Romans 8:29; 2  Corinthians 3:18);
• We are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37);
• As God's workmanship, we can do good works that glorify God (Ephesians 2:10);
• We are chosen to declare God's praises (1 Peter 2:9);
• Because of God's grace and power, we can become servants of the gospel, discipling and teaching others (Ephesans 3:7; Matthew 28:18-20);
• We are blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3);
• And so much more!

So how do we live so we will "test positive" in authentic ways?

1. Read the Word with the desire to obey God in faith.

Read with the intent to hear from God or learn something new about Him. The Spirit of God uses the Word of God to show us how to live to joyfully please the Father and train for righteousness and ministry (2 Timothy 3:16).

Is there is something God wants you to act on or obey that might increase your hope, faith, or joy?

Is there something that might help you live for Him or minister more effectively?

2. Communicate regularly with the Father.

The God of all wisdom, comfort, power, etc. wants to express His nature to you. He will use scripture and biblical truth to encourage your heart.

Are you so connected to the Lord through prayer that you can receive from Him at any time and in any circumstance?

What has He said to you recently that encouraged or challenged you?

3. Check your heart daily to be sure you are walking in the Spirit.

Review what it means to walk in the Spirit. In part, it involves submission to the will of God and keeping in step with the Spirit of God.

Some people think this will rob them of joy in this life, but to be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18b) and walk in the Spirit is to experience the "fruit of the Spirit"—and that includes joy and peace (Galatians 5:22-23). Walking in the Spirit enables us to enjoy all the Spirit has for us, and to respond in the toughest situations as Jesus would.

Are you filled with and walking in the Spirit daily?

What's the evidence in your life?

4. Express gratitude, worship and praise to the Lord.

As we are filled with the Spirit of God, we will find our hearts overflowing with gratitude, singing and joy (Ephesians 5:18-29; Colossians 3:16).

We were created to worship God (Psalm 29:1-2; Psalm 95:1-2)—it's both a way of life and a particular activity. Our worship increases as we trust His sovereign love and care.

It shouldn't be unusual to break out in spontaneous praise (Psalm 9:9-10; Psalm 34:1-4; Isaiah 57:15).

When was the last time you broke out in gratitude, worship, or praise to God?

If it's a struggle, what unhealthy or ungodly attitude is in the way? Can you give that to Jesus today?

Whenever you hear the words "tested positive," use it to spur you on to REMEMBER how God increases your hope, joy, and optimism in Him.

How will YOU "Test Positive" in the Lord?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, at Revive Our Hearts, a blogger at TrueWoman.com, writes wiki-type posts at  Christianity.com, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Living in the Light: The No-Fear Zone

Quirky humor and deep wisdom—that's Rhonda Rhea. One of her books, How Many Lightbulbs Does It Take to Change a Person? helps women live in God's light. In this humorous post, she encourages us to move out of the darkness of our fears.

“I don’t care what anyone says, I never laugh in the face of danger,” Rhonda said. “But sometimes, when danger isn’t looking, I point and make faces and call it a big stupidhead. Of course, then if danger looks over, I look down and pretend I’ve been picking lint off my jacket the whole time.”

Oh Rhonda ... I don't think I've ever called danger "a big stupidhead," but I will from now on!

Rhonda continues …

I decided early in life it might be wise to give a respectable deference to danger and fear, at least to their faces. I guess it’s partly because when I was a kid, Bozo the Clown used to sit in a dark corner of my room every night and brood creepishly. It was always in the same corner. Then in the morning he’d be gone and there would be a floor lamp there instead. Eerie.

Since I obviously know my way around the fear topic, here’s my helpful tip of the day: 

If you’re panicking, try taking deep breaths. Unless you’re panicking because you’re drowning. Because then you’re definitely going to need a whole different tack.

On the more serious side, though, isn’t it glorious that as we breathe in the presence of the God of light, we see our fears fade?

When the angel came to the shepherds to announce the birth of the Messiah, the glory-light must’ve been shocking. “The glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.” (Luke 2:9, NKJV) But the angel’s first words to the shepherds were, “Do not be afraid” (verse 10, NKJV). No need to fear! In fact, the angel brought the good news that the birth of the Messiah was ushering in our salvation.

Has there ever been a greater reason for rejoicing? And that’s just what happened. “And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: ‘Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!’” (verse 13, NKJV) What a sound and light show that must’ve been! But the shepherds didn’t stay frozen in fear. No, they got up and hurried off to find the Christ.

That angel chorus wasn’t the only Jesus-welcoming light party. When the wise men sought the Messiah, they were led by God’s magnificent starlight. “And there it was—the star they had seen in the east! It led them until it came and stopped above the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed beyond measure. Entering the house, they saw the child with Mary His mother, and falling to their knees, they worshipped Him.” (Matthew 2:9-11, HCSB)

Light can lead us to that place of worship. Worship is the exhale as we breathe in His light.

Ever scared of the dark? When we get those dark fears out of the way, we’re free to worship and praise—the perfect response as we encounter the Lord of light.

Fear can be devastatingly powerful. It can rear its ugly head at the most inopportune moments. And when it arrives, it all but takes over our thoughts. It’s tough to think of anything else when fear makes its way into our gray matter.

In Psalm 27:1, David reminds himself of the God who chases away fear: “The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom should I fear?” (HCSB) Fear may be powerful, but it’s nothing compared to our God.

Bozo? You got nuthin’.

When do your worst fears arise? When they surface, ask God to help you focus on scripture truth about God and His presence, and on Jesus, the One who conquers our fears.

Rhonda Rhea is a radio personality, speaker and the author of 12 books, including Espresso Your Faith and the newest, Join the Insanity: Crazy-Fun Life in the Pastors’ Wives Club. Along with her daughters, she hosts the weekly TV show, “That’s My Mom” on Christian Television Network. Rhonda and her daughter, Kaley Faith Rhea, have their first co-authored novel releasing in 2014 with the second soon following. She lives in the St. Louis area and is a pastor’s wife and the mother of five practically-out-of-the-house children.

Worship Service

Lynn Mosher blogs about how we should live as we are “heading home” to be with Jesus. I invited her to write about one way to UPGRADE our Worship.

“‘Worship service’ is more than a phrase given to our church assemblies,” Mosher said. “Worship is service to God, as the priests of old worshipped God by their tabernacle or temple service.”

She continues . . .

“The true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth;for the Father is seeking such to worship Him . . . For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, Him only you shall serve.’” (John 4:23b; Matthew 4:10 NKJV)

In Greek, one word for “worshipper” means a temple servant, or one having charge of a temple to keep it clean and adorn it. Our word “worship” is derived from the old English word meaning “worthship.”

We are all temple servants of God, doing our duty by taking care not only of the temple of the church building but also of the temple of our hearts.

Paul tells us of the highest form of worship-service we can offer God: “I appeal to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you…to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.” (Rom. 12:1 AMP)

Our godly service then is keeping our temples clean and unspotted by the world, adorning them with acts of service, and having a lifestyle of holy living that honors the worthship of God.

In all we do, we should “Worship and serve Him with (our) whole heart and with a willing mind” (1 Chron. 28:9 NLT).

To worship the God of creation is:

• to bow down in reverence to Him because He is worthy, acknowledging His divinity;
• to bow in humility and obedience;
• to bow to His will, His plan, and His purpose by relinquishing one’s own agenda;  
• and to bow in service to Him with one’s life, honoring Him as the One True God.

Do we seek the Lord’s Presence or His presents? Do we seek His handout or His hand? Do we always seek something from Him as the multitudes did, or do we lean upon His breast as John the beloved did, just to be with Him; to sit at His feet as Mary did, just to serve Him in worship by pouring out our thanks and tears as fragrant oil upon His body?

     How lavish is your worship of the Creator’s worthship?

Lynn Mosher lives with her hubby (since 1966) in their Kentucky nest, emptied of three chicklets and embracing three giggly grand-chicklets and an inherited dog. Lynn’s greatest passion is to fulfill God’s call on her life to encourage others and glorify the Lord with her writing.

Note: Praying woman Photo Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.