Five Ways to Speak God's Love Language

Debbie W. Wilson always has a fresh perspective on familiar Christian truth. In this Relationship with God UPGRADE, she reminds us that there are ways we can learn to "speak God's love language."

Debbie says, “My husband doesn’t show me love,” the distraught woman who sat before me complained.

I (Dawn) think that nearly every married woman has thought that from time to time. We just want more and more love—and not only from a spouse! But remember, when we "speak" someone's love language, it isn't always with words.

Debbie continues . . .

This woman’s husband provided for her financially, maintained her car without being asked, vacuumed the house, and cleaned up after supper. But she longed for quality time and deep conversations.

Because acts of service were not her love language, this woman had overlooked her husband’s demonstrations of love.

A hunger to express and experience love runs through the human DNA.

Considering this made me wonder if that need extends to our relationship with God. If so, what are some ways to enhance this love relationship? Does God have a love language?

Hebrews 11:6 says faith is God’s love language.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (NIV).

Did you catch the reciprocal nature of faith as described in this verse? Those who believe in God also believe God rewards them for seeking Him.

Loving Jesus enables us to receive His love. John 14:21 says,

“Those who love me will have my Father’s love, and I, too, will love them and show myself to them” (GW).

Let’s look at ways to enhance our love relationship with God.

5 Ways to Speak God’s Love Language

1. Pray

Prayer demonstrates a relationship with God and faith that He is good.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened… Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matt. 7:7-11 NIV).

2. Demonstrate Trust through Thanksgiving

Gratitude demonstrates faith in God’s goodness and sovereignty. It shows I believe He is bigger than my mistakes and the wrongs I’ve endured (Rom. 8:28).

Faith allows me to pray with thanksgiving before I see God’s answer (Phil. 4:6-8).

A large ministry fired an honorable young man without cause. His mother wrestled with God over this betrayal. Before the year was out, a scandal hit the press concerning those who’d mistreated her son.

“God spared my son,” she said. “And I’d thought He’d forgotten him.”

“Whatever happens, give thanks, because it is God’s will in Christ Jesus that you do this” (1 Thes. 5:18 GW).

3. Worship

Worship shows we believe He is worthy of our devotion and reminds us He’s bigger than anything clamoring for our time and attention.

“Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything” (Ps. 46:10 The Message).

4. Obey

Obedience demonstrates love and faith (Jn. 14:15-16).

“Whoever knows and obeys my commandments is the person who loves me” (Jn. 14:21 GW).

“In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome” (1 Jn. 5:3 NIV).

5. Live Clean

Receiving and appreciating our forgiveness shows faith in Jesus and increases our love for Him (1 Jn. 1:9, Titus 2:14).

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love” (Luke 7:47 NLT).

Through faith we express our love to God and experience His love in return.

Every step we take in faith causes God’s heart to sing. 

Does your relationship with God need a boost? Consider the list above. Which one needs your attention?

Debbie W. Wilson, Bible teacher and former biblical counselor, combines insight and encouragement to inspire people to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Little Women, Big God, and Give Yourself a Break. She and her husband Larry founded Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling and Bible study ministry. Debbie enjoys dark chocolate, a good mystery, and the antics of her two standard poodles. Find free resources and connect with Debbie at RefreshingFaith.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Kalhh at Pixabay.

When You Face a Problem, Follow Mary's Example

Debbie W. Wilson is one of two women I know who says so much in few words. In this Faith and Obedience UPGRADE, she points to a woman in the Bible who was a perfect example of how we can face everyday problems or problems that seem incredibly daunting.

Debbie says, "What do you do when you come up against an unexpected or impossible problem? Try to fix it, panic, or call for help? Mary, the mother of Jesus, models how I want to act."

When problems come, I (Dawn) tend to be a "fixer." I say, "I can handle this."

But how many times, I wonder, might Jesus have handled it differently? How many times have I short-circuited what He wanted to do in a situation. He still works, but do I get the glory, or Him? Debbie challenges our perspective.

Debbie continues . . .

At the beginning of His public ministry at age thirty, Jesus attended a wedding at Cana. Mary must have been helping at the wedding. When the wine ran out, she brought the problem to Jesus. You can read the account here: John 2:1-11.

Mary said to Jesus, “They have no more wine.”

That’s it.

No pleading, no explanation of how embarrassing or urgent this was, no pointing out how this might foster faith in His disciples. Just, “They have no more wine.”

To the servants she said, “Do whatever He tells you.”

Jesus told them to fill the ceremonial washing jars with water. They filled six 20-30-gallon jars to the brim.

“Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet,” He said.

I smile when I read this.

Did the servant hold his breath when the host tasted the water?

I picture his eyes sparking with relief when the master proclaimed, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

Personal Applications

1. Tell Jesus the problem—not the solution.

When I bring my problems to God, I often suggest ways to solve them.

There is nothing wrong with asking. But did you notice, Mary didn’t tell Jesus how to fix the problem? How could she?

Jesus did something that defied imagination. 

When I focus on how I think He should act, I miss the work He is doing.

2. Follow His instructions and leave the results with Him. 

Mary didn’t supervise Jesus’ actions. She told the servants to do what He said.

I’m sure His directions didn’t make sense to them. Because they obeyed, they experienced a miracle.

Trust Jesus with My Problem

Mary knew Jesus’ compassion. She trusted His love, wisdom, and ability.

• Perhaps Jesus had miraculously multiplied food for His family in the meager years after Joseph died.
  
• Satan knew Jesus could turn a stone into bread (Matthew 4:3).

After Mary told Jesus about the need, she left the problem in His capable hands.

If Mary didn’t feel a need to tell her son how to solve the problem, why do I think I need to come up with the solution for my Lord? I only need to trust and obey Him.

I can’t see His spiritual power at work anymore than I can see the wind.

But when I trust Him, I witness the result.

How can you apply Mary’s example to a problem you’re facing?

Debbie W. Wilson, drawing from her walk with Christ and decades as a Christian counselor and Bible teacher, mixes insight and encouragement to inspire readers to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Give Yourself a Break, and Little Women, Big God. She and her husband Larry founded and run Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling, coaching, and Bible study ministry. Find free resources to refresh your faith at debbieWwilson.com.

Photo of Stone Water Jars from Land of Israel Tours.