Guardrails for Your Heart

Kathy Carlton Willis writes with whimsy and wit, insight and encouragement. In this Wellbeing UPGRADE, she shares four ways to protect our hearts.

“Lately, I’ve been told I’m more guarded than I used to be," Kathy says. "I’m afraid of being burned again. There are times to be cautious, and times to be more open.”

I (Dawn) think everyone has been hurt in some way. We do tend to guard our hearts, but not always in a healthy way. I appreciate Kathy's insight into how we can guard our hearts in good, biblical ways.   

Kathy continues . . . 

In fairytales, the castle often has amoat surrounding it and only those permitted to enter are allowed to use the drawbridge. The moat provides a way to guard the property from intruders.

The Bible talks about guarding our hearts and I wonder if we can use a moat-method to protect what God values—our hearts.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” Proverbs 4:23 (NLT).

First, what is the heart?

We know the Bible isn’t talking about the muscle that pumps blood to the rest of our body. It is the inner being that includes our mind, will, soul, and thoughts.

It is our decision maker. Our thoughts define who we become. In this way, it is the source of our authentic identity.

What we let in to our hearts helps determine what we feel and what we choose.

It is vital to guard our hearts and minds! When we guard well, we use God’s discernment gift to grow in wisdom.

What are the enemies of our hearts?

Anything that tries to come against us and derail us.

We need to protect our hearts from whatever is likely to interfere with what Eugene Peterson called, “long obedience in the same direction.”

• Enduring faith is threatened by doubts and discouragement.
• Being overwhelmed by stress and fatigue endangers what makes every day the potential for a good day—a God-day.

A moat helps protect what is valued from potential threats. But what if we are the worst enemy of our own hearts?

Sometimes we allow too much time exploring our thoughts and our feelings, and it hinders us from what is best for our inner being. In this case, a moat won’t protect us!

Let’s use a different image than a moat, then.

What if we used GUARDRAILS to keep us from going off track?

Personal Guardrails

1. Maintain your heart on a regular basis.

Look how the NKJV words our verse (Proverbs 4:23):

“Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”

I think of the road crews I see working on guardrails—and the signs they post to be careful when damage is done.

2. Tap in to God’s peace.

When we experience God’s peace, He equips us with what we need to guard our hearts.

The key is the last part of the following verse—to live in Christ Jesus.

“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 NLT).

3. Store up God’s Word.

Stock up on supplies—in this case the words in the Bible have the power to help us guard our hearts.

The guardrail is in place so we don’t stray from God’s will.

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:9–11 ESV).

4. Treasure heavenly things, not earthly ones.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21 NLT).

As you can see, guardrails for our hearts don’t just magically appear. We have to build and maintain them. It is important work.

The heart is not only what we take to heaven with us when we die, but it helps us as we represent the King here on earth.

We can tell what’s in our hearts by evaluating what we say:

"But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them" (Matthew 15:18).

We may not live fairytale lives, complete with castles and moats, but we get to serve a King who blesses us with heavenly treasures. The drawbridge leading to Him is Jesus Christ.

When He dwells in our hearts, we have yet another reason to put our guard up—to have restricted access to our inner beings: we don’t want to allow anything to compete against Jesus for lordship in our lives.

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong” (Ephesians 3:17 NLT).

What guardrails will you put in place to protect your heart?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Her latest books are The Grin Gal’s Guide for Wellbeing: Being Well in Body, Soul & Spirit, and the ancillary product, The Grin Gal’s Planner for Wellbeing. Set yourself up for success by joining one of Kathy’s virtual wellbeing groups. More information at kathycarltonwillis.com.

Silencing the Whisper of Fear

Cathy Horning is a woman of wisdom and prayer, informed by her knowledge of the Word and ways of God. In this Attitude UPGRADE, she exposes the enemy of fear—how it attacks our thought life—and how we can learn to face down our fears in positive ways.

“Fear’s whisper plants a seed in our thoughts," Cathy says, quoting a friend. "Then fear continues it’s whispers to take over our whole mind.”

I (Dawn) know the power of an unauthorized thought. Unless challenged with truth—and taking our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5)—fear takes over and affects our attitudes and actions!

Cathy continues . . .

Recently, I read this Facebook post:

“So who else here starts freaking out if you have a little tickle in your throat or cough a few times?  I think we are all going to have some MAJOR PTSD from this stupid COVID! Go away... we don't want you anymore!”

Dozens responded to my friend’s post. Including me.

You see, I understand the scare of the throat tickle and cough, because the first few weeks of 2020 I was sick. Really sick.

It started with tummy troubles, then chills, a fever, then a dry cough that turned into a deep one, with tightness in my chest. The worst part of all, though, was a weakness that just wouldn't go away.

After six weeks, I went to the doctor, which revealed only a vitamin D deficiency. 

I chalked it up to a winter flu.

At the time, there were no daily news reports to whisper fear into me with terms like "plague," "pandemic," "coronavirus" or "COVID-19."

But as tummy troubles, fatigue, lethargy and more turned into a deep, tight chest cough, I felt fear’s whisper as I remembered my battle with pneumonia the year before. I recognized fear’s poisonous voice, andA immediately, I began the battle to silence its control.

1. I silenced the whispers of fear with PRAYER!

A Prayer of Surrender from Romans 12:1 —

“Father, I offer my body to You as a living sacrifice. Sanctify me through and through, and make me holy and pleasing to You. Teach me how to live every breath of my life in worship service to You.”

A Prayer of Trust from Daniel 5:23d —

“I honor You, dear Lord God! I thank You that You hold in Your hand my life and all of my ways!”

A Prayer for Healing from Mark 16:18 and Romans 8:11 —

“Thank you Jesus, You said that believers will lay hands on the sick and they will recover. So, Lord, I lay my hands on my sick body and I ask for You to heal me.” 

And, “Abba Father, thank You that the same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead is living in me. So, please let Your indwelling Holy Spirit quicken and give life to my mortal body, now!”

2. I silenced the whispers of fear with SELF-CARE!

As every part of my body grew weaker, I knew I had neglected my own health during the holidays.

• I had become lazy about taking my daily vitamins.
• I ate too many holiday treats.
• And, routine exercise had flown out the window.

Experience told me that neglecting any one of these was deadly on my immune system.

I knew I needed to take better care of myself.

• I restocked my vitamins, adding D and C, and faithfully took them each day.
• I stopped eating sugary snacks—almost completely.
• And, I began to walk often, a little more each day, as my strength gradually returned. 

3. I silenced the whispers of fear by LIMITING what I watched and read, as well as HEEDING the wisdom and instruction of those I trusted!

As I healed, some symptoms lingered for several more weeks, especially at night. Each time, fear’s whispers were fueled by the daily COVID reports, as well as by any ache, throat tickle or cough.

So, I silenced the whispers of fear by turning off the news and scrolling past the social media posts which fed the fear and anxiety.

Plus, I embraced the resources I read and learned about from others.

• I used good old Vicks (vapor rub and lozenges) for little coughs and throat tickles.
• I started each day with hot showers and pounding on my chest and back. It couldn’t hurt, right?
• And, I saved posts about old-fashioned respiratory therapy exercises, often used before modern medicines and machines.

When I wrote my last UPGRADE post—right after the shut down had begun—we all hoped it would end quickly. Now, here we are six months later.

Our world turned upside-down.

The whispers of fear have traumatized many, as my friend’s earlier post described. However, we don’t have to fall victim to fear’s control.

Each time we hear its whisper, we can run to the Lord in prayer. We can take care of ourselves with right eating, purposeful exercise, and immune boosting vitamins. And, we can turn off the incessant bad news, and, instead, utilize helpful information we find from reliable sources.

As our weeks have turned into months of restrictions and shutdowns, I still fight to silence the whispers of fear.

I wear masks and sanitize my hands. I am careful when I am out. And, I pray, a lot. I am taking care of my heath the best I can. And, I carefully choose what I read, listen to, and watch.

I know fear’s whisper would take over my mind, if I let it.

How about you? Do you recognize fear’s whispers? How do you silence this quiet enemy who longs to control your mind?

Cathy Horning is a popular speaker, Bible teacher, mentor, blogger and author. She is first and foremost a wife, mom and grammy, who passionately loves to teach and encourage others in faith, marriage and parenting, as well as how to delight daily in the Word of God. Visit Cathy's website for more information.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Moni McKein at Pixabay.

Upgrade Your Self-Care

Morgan Farr is a wife and mom who's always on the go. In this Self-Care UPGRADE, she asks us to consider what self-care looks like, especially from a biblical perspective.

“Self-care is all the rage right now,” Morgan says. “When you type ‘self-care” into Google, there are over 3,980,000,000 results! People are desperate for an understanding of what it is, how to do it and when we need it.”  

I (Dawn) feel I need some self-care right now. With everyone sheltering in place with the coronavirus, it's too easy to lounge around in pajamas. But I know I need to stay intentional about so many things—including wise self-care.

Morgan continues . . . 

Self-care is defined as “an activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it’s a simple concept in theory, it’s something we very often overlook. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety.” 

When I went to Pinterest to get ideas on what self-care looks like practically, I was bombarded with everything from “paint your nails” to “take the vacation.”

I am going to share my Top Five Tips on how to Upgrade Your Self-Care.

1. Stick to a Schedule.

The primary challenge that a lot of people struggle with is when to have “me time”—or self-care time—simply because they don’t know how to fit it all in.

If you are following a schedule, you can see where the gaps are to allow you time for self-care.

It may be difficult in the beginning, and you will need to start small. Scheduling in 15 minutes somewhere in your day just takes creativity.

The more that you do it, the easier it will be. 

2. Create a Code.

The second challenge that I saw was knowing what to DO for “self-care.” This will look different for different people, depending on their interests.

What I did was create a list of 10 activities that make me feel refreshed. When I am ready for self-care, I pick one of the items off the list. 

Here is what my list looks like:

• Reading one chapter in a book,
• Sketching,
• Reading my Bible,
• Going for a walk,
• Relaxing in a bubble bath,
• Crocheting,
• Sewing,
• Scrapbooking,
• Listening to a CD, or
• Listening to an audiobook.  

3. Recognize the Reality.

This is the part where people say, “I have small children; I can’t do everything on this self-care checklist from Pinterest!”

And I would say, you are right!

Be realistic about your season of life, finances and ability level when you start to practice self-care.

I saw a list of self-care items that recommended going rock climbing outdoors. Sure, it sounds fun. But if you have never done it before and you don’t have the gear, that probably isn’t the best place to start for self-care. Instead start small.

Love to read?

Hit the library to save money on books.

Love to craft?

Check out the clearance section of your local craft store. Check out YouTube for free tutorials and inspiration.

Also, recognize that if you are in the season of little children, it may be all that you can do to sit alone in a room and read one chapter in a book.

And that is 100% OK. (I’ve been there, it does get better!)  

4. Filter Out the Funk.

I am going to say something super unpopular here.

We consume a LOT of funky stuff and call it “self-care.”

I don’t care who you are, sitting down to binge watch “Game of Thrones” or the newest true crime documentary is NOT self-care. 

Now, before you freak out, let me phrase it this way: would you say smoking is self-care? 

No way! It is bad for you. It causes cancer.

Watching violent and sex-saturated television is the exact same thing. Philippians 4:8 says,

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” 

If you are filling your mind with funky stuff that does not meet the Philippians 4:8 criteria, it is going to rot your heart and mind.

Stop and think about what you are ingesting with your television shows and movies.

Would you be comfortable watching it on the big screen in front of your entire church?

If not, you probably shouldn’t be watching it at all.

5. Praise the Prince of Peace.

Philippians 4:6-7 says,

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

If you are trying to find freedom from anxiety and you are looking for peace, no amount of painting your nails or going for a walk can compare to knowing Jesus, the Prince of Peace. 

As human beings, we spend a lot of time trying to make ourselves feel better. As believers, we cannot expect worldly things to be able to give us the peace that surpass all understanding.

That kind of peace can only come from Jesus Christ.

Which step can you take today to upgrade your me-time? 

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three small children, and learn more about homeschool. Morgan is a homemaker dedicating her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring, and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of StockSnap at Pixabay.

Shed Your Past—Shed the Pounds

Julie Watson is inspiring. In this UPLIFT post, she shares her story of how dealing with personal pain from her past enabled her—with the help of a healthy nutrition program—to lose weight and gain confidence.

“You can’t shed the extra pounds,” Julie says, “until you shed the painful experiences that put them there in the first place!”  

Exactly! I (Dawn) discovered the same thing over the past two years. I had to deal with the underlying emotional causes for my weight gain, and I appreciate Julie's honesty here.

Julie continues . . .

Last summer I set out to lose weight… a lot of weight! It’s not weight that came on recently, or even in the last 10 years. I’ve been carrying around this extra weight my entire life.

I often joke and say, “The last time I was thin was in the birthing room the day I entered the world!” 

Laughing about my weight has been my coping mechanism for as long as I can remember. But the truth is, there’s a lot of pain under that laughter.

My guess is that’s the case for most people who are obese. There’s always going to be a memory or two of the mean kids on the playground who called you, “fatty” or, in my case, my third-grade crush who called me “moose” while standing behind him in line at a Sea World drinking fountain.

I can still remember it like yesterday, and that was nearly 40 years ago!

Worse yet is when a person of authority crushes your spirit with words that are hurtful and damaging.

Such was the case with my pediatrician when I was 10 years old. I was told that I was overweight and needed to go on a diet immediately or I might get a myriad of health problems. 

Perspective for just a second:

• I was five feet five inches tall at 10 years old.
• I was a fully developed young woman and weighed 145 pounds.
• I realize that’s a lot for an average 10-year-old. But I was NOT average! I was 3 inches taller than my fifth-grade teacher!

Back to the story . . .

My pediatrician sent me home with instructions for a 1,000-calorie-a-day diet and requirements to come back weekly to weigh-in. You would have thought I was the fattest person she had ever seen! That’s how I felt, anyway.

I remember crying in my room later that day. Nevertheless, I listened to her instructions and followed the plan. Of course, my mom made my food because, quite frankly, at 10 years old I didn’t know what a calorie was!

The following week, back we went. The scale read 144.5 pounds. I felt good that I had lost! But, that’s not the response I received. I got a FULL-ON YELLING LECTURE!

She was upset that I ONLY lost a half pound and needed me to understand—quite loudly—that if I didn’t lose weight, I was going to have High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Diabetes, and would die of a heart attack really young!

I was 10—what did those words even mean? 

Traumatized, we left, and thankfully, never returned! However, the damage was done.

As I aged, I learned what those diseases were. I started having anxiety and panic attacks that I would get them.

I became a moderate hypochondriac in my teen years as the weight piled on. I used food to escape my emotions and feelings about my weight. If I heard one more person tell me, “You have such a pretty face, if only you lost weight,” I might have just exploded!

Fast forward to June 25^th of 2018.

Desperate and alone I cried out to God for help!

I had self-fulfilled much of the prophecy that pediatrician had placed on me. I was in a very dark place, imagining an early death and that my family was going to have to bury me in a double-wide coffin.

God was faithful and graciously led me to an amazing, life-changing health program!

• It broke through “why” I had a food problem, all relating to the pain compiled over the years.
• It helped me look at the triggers, why they were there and how to be free of the pain that kept me in bondage.
• At the same time, I learned new, healthy habits to replace the old, bad habits, one at a time.

The weight began to melt off and I began to heal from the inside out!

I learned that you can’t shed the extra pounds until you shed the painful experiences that put them there in the first place! 

I’m just about halfway in my weight loss journey—nearly 90 pounds down in just over 6 months! I have a long way to go yet, but I haven’t looked back because I haven’t wanted to!

When you feel good—really good—you don’t want to give that up! I found true FREEDOM, one directed by the Lord, for such a time as this!

When someone gives you keys to the jail door, you DON’T give them back!

Painful pasts must be dealt with so we can reach our goals! Whether it’s losing weight or another desire, speak to a pastor, counselor or therapist to work through your past and reach for your dreams!

You are worth it!

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’”  (Jeremiah 29:11).

Are painful experiences keeping you in bondage? Are you ready to shed them?

Julie Watson became an independent C.O.P.E. Certified Health Coach after finding freedom using an amazing health program that is transforming lives one habit at a time. Her husband became her first client, lost 43 pounds in three months and remains in maintenance. She loves helping others find the same freedom she found! Julie and Shawn live in San Diego with their three children and myriad of pets.

(NOTE from Dawn: This article is not meant to promote any specific program, but if you are interested in learning more about the specific program Julie is using, let me know and I will contact her.)

Graphic adapted, courtesy of MoreHarmony at Pixabay.

Busy, Busy

Insightful and practical, Susan K. Stewart challenges women to consider what they're doing in light of God's Word. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she asks us to consider the busyness in our lives, and if there might be a better approach to goals.

"By the end of 2016, I was tired," Susan says. "I accomplished many of my goals. I had a stack of check-offed to-do list. I had been busy. Why did I feel as those I hadn’t accomplished anything?"

Oh, I (Dawn) know a lot about checked off lists. I've lived by them since I was a child. But Susan makes me think—is there a better way?

Susan continues . . .

I had accomplished a lot that year:

• published an award-winning book,
• spoke at national conferences,
• taught classes online,
• and many other achievements, which say "success".

I met my goals for the year.

That’s was the problem. I had met my goals.

Each year we are bombarded with resolutions, goals, and focus words. We are encouraged to plan out our year for success.

Midway through the year, just as we begin to think we’ve failed, more articles and podcasts land in our email boxes telling us how to pick up the goals we haven’t finished and move forward.

Even Christian material tells us how to make plans and we can accomplish them. It might be a three-step list or a twelve-step program. The point is, “make a plan and work the plan.”

This can seem like a circle of life—no, more like a race track of life with no finish line.

I needed not just a pit stop; I needed off the track.

Here are some of the ways I’ve conquered the busyness.

1. Don’t buy a planner.

If you already have one, put it at the bottom of the bottom drawer.

We can become slaves to the lists and boxes. It can steal our joy in what we do.

I choose to have a plain calendar. Once a box is full, I don’t schedule anything thing else for that day.

2. Nix the goals and resolutions.

Instead, determine your priorities for the year. And it’s fine if you have the same priorities each year.

Some people tell me priorities are the same as goals. I don’t think so.

The month of July, my priority is my granddaughter’s visit. It’s not a goal; she comes every year. Those tasks take second chair to my priority.

3. Limit the number of items on a to-do list.

I have sticky pad to-do lists. It has space for four items. That’s truly manageable, there’s no space to keep adding on.

I don’t take the top sheet off until I’ve completed the tasks on it. I do add items to the next pages, but I don’t see them until I get there.

Long term projects get their own four-item to-do lists, which I pull out only when I’m working on that project.

Without a long to-do list I don’t feel overwhelmed, and I have a sense of accomplishment with each sticky note I pull off.

These are some tangible ideas how to not be bogged down in the endless cycle of resolutions, goals, and failure. They help me keep perspective on my day and my life. I feel more in control.

But this list in not the real answer.

Henry David Thoreau said, "It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?"

I answer this question each time I get bogged down in accomplishments, when I think I should be doing more, when I’m tired of being busy. Yes, it happens even with the above steps.

Jesus was busy about doing good and His Father’s will.

• Yes, He got tired.
• Yes, He needed to draw away from the daily tasks to rest.
• Yes, He needed to spend time with God the Father.

We are told by Jeremiah God has a plan for us, a plan for good.

God's plan doesn’t require to-do lists and goals, and it doesn’t leave us exhausted.

God’s plan also has hope and future. What more do we need? (Jeremiah 29:11)

The reason 2016 was so exhausting and lacked fulfillment is I was working from MY goals and plans. I was busy about busy work, instead of doing good and God’s will.

For those of us who need a final step, it is this:

4. Seek His kingdom first (Matthew. 6:33), and make it your priority.

God will add what you need to your to-do list.

Which of these action steps could help you get off the busy-busy treadmill right now? What can you do to seek the Lord and do more of His will?

Susan K. Stewart teaches, writes, and edits non-fiction. She is known for practical solutions to real-world situations. Susan is senior nonfiction editor with Elk Lake Publishing, blog content manager for Mount Hermon Writers Conference blog, and has published five books. Susan lives in Central Texas with her husband, Bob, three dogs, three cats, nine chickens, and two donkeys. Discover more about Susan's ministry at www.practicalinspirations.com.