The Happy Truth about Valentine's Day

In this Valentine's Day UPGRADE, we can upgrade our understanding of this holiday—what it is and why we celebrate it, and whether Christians should happily take part. First, a little history lesson, and then some positive encouragement.

     What Is the Origin of Valentine’s Day?

I debated a man once concerning Valentine’s Day. “So what’s with Christians and Valentine’s Day,” he said. “Why celebrate a pagan holiday?”

To be honest, I stumbled around with my answers. I really didn’t know much about the celebration’s background, and the theories I put forth were woefully weak. Later, I decided to study it out; and maybe what I discovered will help you too.

St. Valentine’s Day, like St. Patrick’s Day, is popular in Europe and the modern west. While there are texts by Patrick himself that tell us about the godly man and help explain why he is celebrated, the origin of Valentine and Valentine’s Day aren’t entirely clear.

In secular articles, you’re sure to read about the pagan origins of Valentine’s Day. And in religious articles, the story is all about a martyred saint.

So which is right?

Maybe a little of both.

Some historians say the likely origin of the holiday was the ancient Roman festival, Lupercalia, which was celebrated on February 15^th. Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, but also to the Roman founders, Romulus and Remus, who were believed to have been cared for as infants by a wolf (a lupa).

The fertility festival was quite involved, ending with young women placing their names in an urn and bachelors drawing names to pair off for the year, a practice that often led to marriage.

Pope Gelasius (5^th century) abolished the fertility festival for its “un-Christian” practices, and replaced it with a day honoring St. Valentine.

The term “Volantynys day” showed up in a romantic, 14^th century poem, “Parliament of Fowls,” by Geoffrey Chaucer. The poem explicitly linked romantic love to Valentine. The concept behind the poem is that a group of birds gather on “seynt valentynes day” to choose their mates—hence, the day’s romantic theme. By the 15^th century, lovers sent each other love notes on Saint Valentine’s Day.

For some reason, Cupid was later added into the Valentine’s Day mix. The Cupid figure was originally Eros, the son of Aphrodite, in Greek mythology. Later, in Roman mythology, the name was switched to Cupid, the son of Venus. In both cases, he was the son of the mythical goddess of love and armed with a bow and two kinds of arrows—gold arrows to spark love and lead arrows to ignite hate.

Cupid was devious and played on his targets’ emotions. In later writings, Cupid was portrayed as a mischievous cherub, and later still, he became something like a mascot for Valentine’s Day.  

February 14 is listed on the “Calendar of Saints” in Anglican and Lutheran churches, but the Roman Catholic Church practiced it as a local celebration. The Eastern Orthodox Church celebrated Saint Valentine’s Day too, but on July 6.

The modern-day celebration is a romantic holiday, primarily developed in Victorian England. It included the giving of cards, flowers, and chocolates. Commercialized Valentine’s Day cards were created in the early to mid-19^th century. In some countries, the day is considered a celebration of friendship rather than romance.

The oldest known written valentine is at the British Library in London, written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife—from his prison cell in the Tower of London.

But what about Valentine himself?

Was Valentine a Martyred Saint?

The name “Valentine” was a popular name, with about a dozen early Christians having that name. The Catholic church recognizes at least three Christians named Valentine or Valentinus. All three were Christian martyrs, like Bishop Valentine of Terni who was beheaded.

Tradition, however, embraces Valentine of Rome, an Italian bishop who was killed on February 14, 296 AD, at the command of Emperor Claudius Gothicus of Rome.

As the story goes, Claudius decided that single men would make better soldiers than those who had wives and families, so he outlawed marriage for young men. Feeling this was an injustice, Valentine defied the emperor and continued to perform secret marriages for young lovers.

Emperor Claudius, angered to hear about Valentine's actions, interviewed Valentine and told him he could only escape death if he converted to paganism.

Instead, Valentine tried to convert Claudius to Christianity!

So was Valentine a true Christian? Unlike "St. Patrick," we don't know what Valentine believed about Jesus or salvation.

Only God knows Valentine's heart, just as He knows our hearts.

Stories about him were likely embellished to solidify his commemoration as a Catholic saint.

For example, prior to his execution, it’s said Valentine healed a jailer’s blind daughter, Julia, who encouraged him in prison. Some renditions of this account say he wrote a letter to Julia before his death, signing it, “Your Valentine.”

It’s also said that he gave parchment hearts to soldiers and to persecuted Christians to remind them of God’s love. Some stories suggest Valentine was killed for trying to help Christians escape torture in Roman prisons.

While the Valentine stories are murky, in all accounts, he was heroic and he deeply loved God.

Should Christians Celebrate Valentine’s Day?

So how does all this play out for Christians? A writer at the Bible research site Compelling Truth says that the holiday is “neither biblical nor anti-biblical.”

The Happy Truth about Valentine's Day is that it is permissible to celebrate, but perhaps in a uniquely Christian way.

“Christians are free regarding the celebration of Valentine’s Day,” the writer said. “There are many positive things to be said about celebrating love for one another.

There is nothing inherently wrong with expressing love through cards and gifts on a specific day of the year. "But there is nothing inherently righteous about it either," the writer said, "and we should also express our love for one another throughout the year and in a variety of ways.”

Valentine's "sainthood" is an issue for some. It's important to note that in early translations, believers in the Bible are called “saints,” meaning “holy ones” (Acts 9:32; Romans 16:2; Ephesians 4:12; Philippians 4:21)—even though some of them might have had serious sin problems. In some newer translations, they are simply called "the Lord's people" or "believers"—perhaps as a reaction to the misuse of the term "saint."

There is no such thing biblically as "sainthood" as it expressed by the Catholic Church.

• But there’s nothing wrong with commemorating Christian martyrs or faithful Christians in the past.
• Neither is there a biblical mandate to commemorate them.

In the article, “Valentine’s Day Belongs to God,” Jon Bloom at Discovering God says, “So what should Christians make of today’s Valentine’s Day?

"As much as purely possible!”

Bloom notes that “Valentine was a saint and Eros (love) in not Cupid’s domain.” So, he says, Christians should be “the most unashamed and exuberant celebrators of romantic love there are, and the strongest guardians of God’s design and boundaries, because God made it for us to enjoy, along with many other things (1 Timothy 6:17b).” For example, Song of Solomon is packed with intoxicating, romantic love. Solomon was intoxicated with his bride!

The mystery of married love is to be celebrated (Proverbs 18:22; Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7), and yet it is only a shadow of what is to come, Bloom said. He calls God the “greatest romantic in existence,” and said our Creator has designed romance to give us “a taste of the greatest romance that will ever exist, of which all Christians will experience.”

What does Bloom mean? At the marriage supper of the Lamb, when we drink the wine with our Groom and enjoy spiritual intimacy with Him that we had only previously known in metaphors (Revelation 19:6-8).

Four closing thoughts:

1. Valentine’s Day should not be something used to divide God’s people.

How should Christians deal with disagreement in the Body of Christ about Valentine’s Day? Biblically! 

Paul wrote about special days:

One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind (Romans 14:5).

In other words, we may not think the same concerning special "days," and we need to be careful in judging other believers. (Be sure, when you take issue with other Christians, that there's a biblical truth behind your concerns; and if you do share concerns, do it in a spirit of humility and love.)

2. Every day is a good day to celebrate biblical love.

Christians may disagree with the whole premise of Valentine's Day, but they can always celebrate the human loves God gives us.

• We can celebrate the love of a spouse.
• We can celebrate the love of our family and extended family.
• We can celebrate the love of friends.
• We can celebrate the love of those who have served and blessed us.

3. Use Valentine’s Day as a reminder of a greater love.

Valentine’s Day can be a might be a positive prompt for us to remember the love that surpasses all earthly loves.

First, there is the love of God for us in sending His Son, and second, there is the love of Jesus in becoming our Savior (Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:14).

And then their great love prompts us to love others (John 13:34; 15:12; Ephesians 5:2).

4. What might you say to Valentine?

Assuming Valentine genuinely trusted in Jesus, rejoice that you might meet him in heaven.

What would you say to him? Would you want to chat with him and all the others throughout history who died for their confession of faith in Jesus.

I think it would be wonderful to thank Valentine for modeling genuine love—in life and in his martyrdom.

How might you use Valentine’s Day to focus on your earthly loved ones and the One who loved you so much that He died for you?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. Dawn and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and she has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Monkia at Pixabay.

'Jesus, Help Me Love You More!'

In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, Dawn reflects on our love for God—why do we lack in love, what does our Savior think about our love, and what can we do to grow our love?

Have you ever read a story in the Bible, and the Holy Spirit took you down a different path than you ever would have expected—a "rabbit trail" that led to a deeply personal lesson?

That happened to me.

It was while reading the story of Jesus healing a boy who was possessed by an impure spirit (Mark 9:14-29). The boy's desperate father brought the boy to Jesus, saying, "if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

Jesus noted the "if," and then said, "Everything is possible for one who believes."

The father immediately exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

That was quite an admission. The father recognized that he DID have some faith—otherwise he never would have brought his son to Jesus.

But he also had doubts. He needed help from Jesus to go further into faith.

As I read this conversation, I felt a twinge of conviction. But it wasn't about faith. The Holy Spirit zeroed in on the depth of my love for Jesus—or rather, how weak it was.

I cried out to Jesus,  

"Dear Jesus, I do love you. But help my lack of love . . . help me love you more!"

I believed that He would help me with my weak love, just like he helped that desperate father with his weak belief.

Over time, I considered some of the things that hindered that love, and things I could do or change to refresh and grow my love for Jesus.

Four Ways to Grow Your Love for Jesus

1. Remember the Love Jesus Expressed on the Cross.

Jesus said,

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13 NIV).

Jesus loved us so much that He went to the cross to die for our sins and—when we trust in that sacrifice—secure eternity for us in Heaven.  

The Lord's love for us is mysterious and extraordinary, and our love for Him should reflect that.

The Savior chose to love us while we were wretched sinners (Romans 5:8), so unlike Himself, so that He could make us more like Him (2 Corinthians 5:21; 1 John 3:5; Romans 8:29).

When we begin to take that for granted, we become ungrateful for His grace and mercy, and our love for Him cools.

When we remember the cross, it should motivate our love for our Savior.

2. Believe that When Jesus Died, It Was for You, Personally.

It's one thing to believe that Jesus died for the world, but we may forget that, by application, He died for us as individuals—as if we were the only one needing salvation.

The childhood song says it well: "Jesus loves ME, this I know. . . . " The message of the gospel is a love letter to us. We love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

3. Pray for a Deeper Manifestation of His Love.

Jesus cannot love us any more—He demonstrated His love in dying for us (Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:9-10).

But that does not mean that His love cannot be more deeply manifest to us—made more evident or certain, or displayed to make clear or more easily recognized.

We keep the Lord's commands because we love Him; and Jesus said when we keep His commands, He will love us and "show" Himself to us (John 14:21).

Also, His love is made "complete in us" when we love one another (1 John 4:12).

4. Allow Christ's Love to Stir Up Your Own Love.

Just as we warm ourselves by a fire, we can kindle love for Jesus as we sit by the "fire" of His love.

Once that love is kindled, we can encourage it to burn hot through a number of actions.

We can:

• Read and meditate on Jesus and the "law of the Lord" (Psalm 1:2; Hebrews 12:2a).
• Speak about the Lord and help others see Him more clearly—"bring them" to Jesus.
• Be careful not to displease of offend Him—how can we say we love Him when we cherish the sins for which He died, when we place people and things ahead of Him?
• Stand against the Lord's enemies—Matt. 5:43-44 tells us to love our enemies; but realize that we must never compromise with the stated enemies of Christ (cp. Psalm 139:19-21).
• Hate sin (Proverbs 8:13)—and love, respect, and obey God's commands.
• Abide in, live in, Jesus—remembering that Jesus abides with us as we abide in Him (1 John 2:28 ESV; 1 John 3:24; 4:13).
• Pray continually—keep the connection with Jesus "live" and active (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
• Praise and worship Him, remembering that God "inhabits" the praises of His people—He loves to dwell there (Psalm 22:3 KJV).
• Be ready to forsake or lose any lesser things, if need be . . . for Him (Matthew 10:37; Luke 16:13; John 15:19).

So, yes, we trust that Jesus will help us in response to our prayer for deeper love for Him, but there are also many things we can do to improve it ourselves.

Every one of God's children should be growing in love for Him and for His Son, Jesus. If we're not, we need to seriously consider what is standing in the way.

Do you need to pray what I did—"Lord, I love You . . . help me love You more"? Do you see any hindrances to God not answering that prayer?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Radu Florin at Unsplash.