Open Your Child's Eyes to the World

Sally Ferguson's worldview informs everything she does, including how she parents. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she notes the pull of the world and suggests some ways we might open our children's eyes to the world in a godly way.

“Our children are exposed to the world’s view of life through television and the internet," Sally says. "I wanted to find a way to help them see God’s view of the world."

I (Dawn) love this approach to parenting. The world wants to open our children's eyes, but not always in the way we appreciate! How much better that parents think proactively and give their children a view of the world from heaven's perspective, especially a view of missions.

Sally continues . . .

Every time I travel to Uganda, I marvel at the joy I see in believers. Our view of trials is vastly different and worthy of note.

We have a lot to learn from our brothers and sisters around the world—their view of possessions does not dominate their view of their wealth.

How can a mom translate that to her children and cultivate a Christian worldview?

Open Your Child's Eyes to the World

1. Explore, Don't Shelter.

My peacekeeper personality has always wanted to shelter my children from the dangers and drama of this world. Instead, the news infiltrates all of society.

If we let it, this becomes an opportunity to discuss a Christ-like response to the events of our day.

Explore ideas. What are some ways you can talk about school shootings and political character assassinations? How can a Christian respond with faith rather than fear?

• Research topics together with reputable organizations like Answers in Genesis and Focus on the Family. (1)
• Take a road trip and visit The Museum of the Bible for perspective. (2)

2. Grab Their Passion.

Missionaries on furlough travel to share their experiences. Contact them ahead of time to fit into their schedule. You have an opportunity to hear their stories over a meal or an outing. You’ll find contagious enthusiasm about the world from their vantage point. (3)

When our missionaries and their four children came to our home for a visit, my kids had a grand time playing and hearing about life in Africa.

We took them to a state park where they enjoyed the lush scenery and hiking paths. It was a win for all.

3. Encourage Their Questions.

Spark your child's curiosity by looking up the location of missionaries on the globe. (4)

• Talk about the details of traveling there, living there, and interacting with the culture.
• What do they eat?
• What language do they speak?
• How do they get to school?

My friend Dani hosts dinners for her children. They:

• research a country,
• wear costumes to imitate the local style,
• eat native foods,
• and practice some words in the language of that country.

Her children are learning to embrace other cultures.

4. Stamp your Passport.

The family that travels together celebrates life!

We are a part of an intricate human race. Open up a world of possibilities to your children by taking them on missions trips. Not only does a team invest in the culture, but it also invests in each other as a support system while together.

Your child will connect with adults who have a mindset to serve and learn.

When you immerse yourself in another culture, you experience it with all five senses on high alert.

People become more than names—they take on the warm flesh of humanity.

One of our church trips to Africa included three family units. They created a lifetime of memories in their travels and made room in their hearts for others. Thirteen years later, those families still talk about the adventure they had together.

5. Lead by Example.

Children imitate what they see us do.

Our involvement with global issues informs their willingness to get involved. Inspire them to think outside the box.

• Could they set up a lemonade stand or mow lawns to raise money for child sponsorship?
• Could they draw pictures or write to encourage a child across the globe?

My friend Debbie includes her granddaughters in visits to shut-ins. They make someone else’s day with their artwork while learning to serve.

As a country, America has been blessed with abundance. In Romans 15:27, Paul says it is right for us to share our material blessings with those who bless us spiritually.

I have seen a wealth of joy come from the most humble of circumstances and realized I am the impoverished one. We could never outgive that gift of joy.

Let your children experience the world with you—in tow.

Let faith inform your conversations and provide a solid foundation as they move toward adulthood.

Instead of raising worldly children, let’s raise world-class Christians.

How will you show your child the world?

Sally Ferguson is a teacher of God’s Word and a student of people. Whether leading retreats or small groups, she loves to see the light shine when hope abounds. Sally lives in western New York with her husband and her dad. Her current project is a Bible study for caregivers. Catch up with her at sallyferguson.net.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Alexa's Fotos at Pixabay.

References in the article:

(1) https://answersingenesis.org/,  https://www.focusonthefamily.com/culture/

(2) https://www.museumofthebible.org/k-12-programs

(3) http://upgradewithdawn.com/blog/2022/4/12/how-to-champion-your-missionaries.html

(4) http://upgradewithdawn.com/blog/2021/9/10/helping-your-children-dream.html

Feeling Like a Failure as a Mom?

Kathy Collard Miller is treasure, shaped by God for specific ministry—reaching women who deal with anger issues, and teaching how to be a positive parent. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she reaches out to women who feel like failures in motherhood—an insightful post before Mother's Day.

"Don’t be alarmed," Kathy says. "Every mother at one point or another feels like a failure, but that doesn’t mean God doesn’t have help to improve her parenting skills."

I (Dawn) like that word "every." I am not alone in my mothering regrets. All mothers wish we could go back and redo something in our imperfect parenting. But what does God have to say about this?

Kathy continues . . .

If anyone could say they are a failure as a mom, it would be me.

Over 40 years ago, I was an abusive mom of our toddler daughter.

I feared I would kill her in one of my rages.

It seemed God had given up on me, because no matter how much I prayed to be a godly mother, nothing changed. Suicide seemed the only option, and I almost took my life.

But God intervened, gave me hope, and also gave me biblical and practical help to become the loving mom I wanted to be. Today, our family is intact and has healthy relationships.

So what can you do when mothering is overwhelming and feels hopeless?

Hope for "Failing" Moms

1. The story isn’t finished.

This might sound like a pat answer, but we feel hopeless because everything is going wrong. We believe our child’s life is ruined forever.

Think of the disciples while Jesus is in the grave. For three days they had no clue God was going to bring hope to the whole world through an astounding, unexpected act—the resurrection.

I certainly had no clue that God would not only help me become a patient mom and heal my daughter’s wounded heart, He would also open ministry doors that has included sharing my story in nine foreign countries, having over 60 books published, and sharing God’s hope in over 30 U.S. states.

None of us can predict how our powerful Father will use what seems hopeless. Because then His glory is brighter than ever.

2. What you are struggling with is only preparation for sharing help and hope with others.

Initially, I prayed for an instantaneous deliverance from my anger.

I couldn’t possibly comprehend any good coming from struggle.

But as I learned more and more, I could teach parenting classes and workshops.

I Peter 1:6-7 (ESV) tells us,

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

3. Have courage to share your struggle knowing you are not alone.

Satan loves to keep sin in the darkness of secrets. I thought I was the only one struggling.

I remember sitting during our church service after being angry toward our daughter that morning. I sat trying not to cry, and yet my heart was breaking.

The woman sitting next to me seemed visibly disturbed because I was so upset. I knew she didn’t know what to do, but I feared sharing because she would condemn me.

In time, God gave me the courage to share in the neighborhood Bible study I led, and my friends didn’t condemn me. They began to pray for me and hold me accountable.

James 5:16 (ESV) commands us,

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

I saw God keep His promise of delivering me when I accepted His courage to tell others.

Whatever struggle you have is absolutely weak in comparison to your Heavenly Father’s power.

You will feel intimidated, but be courageous to share with others. If no one will help, keep sharing until you find the wise counselor you need.

What struggle seems too strong to ask for help from God and others?

Kathy Collard Miller has continued to be in awe of God’s ability to not only release His children from sin’s grasp, but also to use what He teaches us. God has used His journey for her through His opportunities to write over 60 books, speak in 9 countries and more than 30 U.S. states. Her memoir, No More Anger: Hope for an Out-of-Control Mom (available in print, Kindle, and audio) is her story, which also includes practical, biblical ideas for overcoming anger and being a positive parent. Kathy and her husband, Larry, of more than 50 years, are parents, grandparents, and lay counselors. They live in Boise, Idaho. Visit her at www.KathyCollardMiller.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Liza Summer at Pexels.

Help Your Child Connect to God and His Word—6 Easy Steps

Morgan Farr has four children. She homeschools them and teaches them the Word and ways of God. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she explains how she helps connect her children to God, and how the Lord used a simple question to help her examine her own heart.

"Kids ask the craziest questions," Morgan says. "As a mom, answering these questions can be a challenge."

Yes, I (Dawn) remember those questions so long ago from my two sons. Sometimes they made me dig for answers, and sometimes, their questions were either convicting to me personally, or they made me pondering some aspect of parenting. Morgan's story reminded me of one of those questions.

Morgan continues . . .

Recently my oldest son—who just turned seven—asked me what God was like.

At first, I was confused by his question. I started to say that no one knows what God really looks like.

Clearly not happy with my answer, my son tried again. He asked, when I “do my God time” in the morning, what is God like?

Explaining God to a child is an incredible thing.

When you know Christ as your Savior, it is almost overwhelming to explain what God has done for you. The only way I could explain what God is like was to say that God is pure love.

Sitting and thinking about that had such a profound impact on my heart.

I want to share how to help a child connect to God and His Word—to develop a heart for God—in Six Easy Steps by sharing how I explained God’s character to my seven-year-old. 

1. Set the Stage

If you are raising children with an understanding of Christianity, then they likely know about creation and the serpent.

It is our job to help our kids to connect the Bible to their lives.

I explained that we are broken sinners, separated from God (Isaiah 59:2). I talked about the sins that I struggle with, and explained that each person struggles with sin because of the fall.

2. Tell the Truth

We cannot get back to God on our own.

Telling children the truth about our separation from God helps them understand the significance. 

Romans 3:23 tells us we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

While we do not want to shame children, helping them understand the magnitude of salvation starts with understanding of how powerless we are without Christ.

3. A Planned Provision

In his incredible mercy, God sent His only Son to die for our sins (John 3:16).

I explained to my son that God loved us enough to provide a way back to Him. This way back was not cheap or easy. In fact, it came at the cost of His Son’s life.

God loved us enough to make that sacrifice on our behalf.

What a miracle that is!

4. Secure in Salvation

Once we have accepted Christ and turned our lives over to Him, sin no longer defines us.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

We are forgiven, washed in Christ’s sacrifice.

It is crucial when telling children about salvation that we explain that sin will still happen, because of the fall. The important thing is that Christ washes us clean, allowing us to be with God.

5. Grow for God

When we understand the magnitude of Christ’s death on the cross and the gift that God gives us each day, we cannot help wanting to know more.

2 Peter 3:18 tells us to:

“...grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever!”

This incredible, loving gift is then the catalyst for growth in our faith.

6. Live the Life

Once a person understands sin, the separation, the gift, and the growth, the final step is to live the life God calls us to.

God has different jobs and callings for each one of us. He equips us for these callings uniquely.

Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”

It is important to take what we have been given by God and turn around and use it for His glory.

Finally, I explained to my son that the way I see God’s love is in the way that He draws us to Him. 

• The choice to get up and spend time in the Word is a way of living the life that God called me to.
• Homeschooling, teaching my children about Jesus, and loving my husband are all ways that I live the life God called me to.

The life God called me to is an example of His incredible love for me. I spend time with God because as I look back through my life I can see God’s incredible love for me.

I want to honor Him with my life and my service.

Adults can easily fall into the drudgery of everyday work. It can be hard to see how we are glorifying God when we are scrubbing toilets or whipping noses.

But, looking back at each of the steps, I realized that God was loving me each and every step of the way.

I want to help my children connect to God—and it is incredible to me that God used a question from my seven-year-old to remind me of the importance of honoring God with my labors. And He reminded me to turn my heart to Him.

What an incredible God we serve!

Which of the six steps speaks most to your heart? Which can you use today to help your child connect to God and His Word?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, develop her four young children, and tackle homeschool life—all while moving all over the country. Morgan believes in integrity, authenticity, and grit. Although she writes for many different publications, you can almost always find Morgan’s most recent ramblings on her blog, "Musings by Morgan."

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Marina Abrosimova t Pexels.

Upgrade Your Christmas with the Greatest Gift Ever

Morgan Farr is authentic and consistent. She doesn't choose the "easy" path to personal discipleship and godly parenting. Her biblically-based choices are for her family's spiritual health and maturity. In this Christmas UPGRADE, Morgan invites us to look beyond "normal" Christmas in the culture to a more biblical approach.

"Forget the gifts," Morgan says. "This Christmas I want Christ."

I (Dawn) say that every year. Some years, I'm more successful in that focus than other years. What helps is to have a strategy, and Morgan gives us a good one!

Morgan continues . . .

Christmas is a beautiful season. I have four children six and under, so the anticipation for Christmas is real in our house. In addition to that, I love a theme—and getting to decorate the entire house for a particular theme is such a joy for me.

So we do Christmas BIG in our family, with a lot of traditions and things that help us make the time meaningful.

As a military family, we move a lot. When people find out that we love Christmas, they often ask what we teach our kids about Santa, gifts and giving.

My family uses the acronym T-R-E-E at Christmas to keep the focus on Christ rather than consumerism.

Consider the T-R-E-E Christmas Focus

1. Teach Theology

Theology is the study of God and religious belief. When it comes to the Christmas season, understanding what you are doing, and why you are doing it, is crucial.

The secular world celebrates Christmas just as much, if not more than the church does.

Let me give you an example.

Recently, Good Housekeeping magazine released a list of the top 70 Christmas songs of all time. Christ’s name doesn’t break into the list until number 25!

Now are all the songs on this list bad? No. But we are careful about the type of Christmas music that we listen to.

We don’t do the more obviously ridiculous or tawdry “Christmas” songs.

But would you believe that there are church favorite Christmas carols that are historically inaccurate and potentially even heretical? 

Silent Night and Away in a Manger both fall into the questionable theology category because they lean heavily towards Docetism, the belief that Jesus wasn’t actually human—He just looked like it on the outside.

How do they lean that way?

They claim a quiet night after Jesus was born.

Have you ever been in a room immediately after a child is born, or the first 24 hours afterwards? There is not anything silent in that first night!

It’s a denial of the humanity of Jesus to say that as a newborn He didn’t cry.

And then my all time least favorite song: Mary Did You Know?

This song is CRAZY to me.

They repeatedly ask, “Mary did you know….” But if you check out Luke 1:26-38, you will see that, yes,  Mary Knew.

Gabriel told her.

And if that isn’t enough, check out Luke 1:46-55 where Mary talks about her knowledge.

If we want to raise children who understand the true meaning of Christmas, then we absolutely must teach our children solid theology.

We do this partly so they can recognize the bad theology and stay away from it, but also so they understand the importance of Christmas.

2. Remember Reverence

If you want your family to have a Christ-centered holiday, keep Christ at the center. I know that may sound overly simple, yet it is something that absolutely must be said.

We choose to make Christmas a CELEBRATION of Christ’s birthday.

In order to help the kids understand this we do a big celebration of each child on their birthday, then we celebrate Christ’s birth at Christmas. We exchange gifts using the one thing you want, one thing you need, one thing to wear, and one thing to read, concept.

To help the children understand what actually happened at Christmas, and why it matters, we read through one chapter of Luke each day at breakfast.

Starting on chapter one on the first day of December puts you at Christ’s resurrection (Luke 24) on Christmas Eve.

I like to do this because it keeps us focused on the fact that the manger was not where we were saved, but rather the cross.

3. Encourage Engagement

I hate the idea of LYING to my children in any capacity. So our family tells the truth about the tooth fairy, the "Easter Bunny," and yes, even Santa.

We read a fair amount of church history, so for Christmas, we just include that in our celebration.

• We explain that Santa is based on Saint Nicholas, a real man from the third century.
• We explain about the three wisemen, and the significance of the gifts that were given to Christ at the manger (Matthew 2:11).

There are a ton of excellent Christmas books out there. We choose to read a different one each day. (If you need some recommendations for great Christmas books feel free to contact me!)

These are great for inspiring deep conversations and critical thinking about the holiday season with your children.

4. Extend your Environment

The holiday season is a great time to model service and hospitality to your children.

Extending an invitation to family is wonderful, but I would encourage you to reach beyond family ties this holiday season.

• Is there a new family in your neighborhood?
• What about the singles group in your church?
• Is there an elderly church member who needs a place to be on Christmas day?

We once attended a church that had a list in the bulletin of people who were hosting holiday events—all you had to do was call and RSVP. This allowed everyone to have somewhere special to be during the holiday season.

During this incredible time of year, the focus is often on the gifts given. But let me ask you. What is the greatest gift that you can give your children?

My answer?

A deep understanding of who Christ is and why He came to earth on this special night is the best gift you could ever give.

Keeping Christ the focus of Christmas is an incredible gift, because each interaction you have is an opportunity to tell about God’s greatest gift ever—His only son.

Which part of T-R-E-E will you be using this year?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, develop her four young children, and tackle homeschool life—all while moving all over the country. Morgan believes in integrity, authenticity, and grit. Although she writes for many different publications, you can almost always find Morgan’s most recent ramblings on her blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Couleur at Pixabay.

'Forcing a Piece' Doesn't Work in Parenting

In this Parenting UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson reminds us that each child is unique in personality and gifts, and we're wise to discover that uniqueness and cultivate it.

I discovered early on in parenting that siblings are different and should never be compared. Each has unique giftings and will make different contributions in the world.

As my two sons grew up, one of our family traditions was putting together a puzzle at their grandparents' home in Palm Springs, Californai, during the Thanksgiving holiday.

Every year a new puzzle was completed—even if Grandpa Wilson had to finish the project after everyone went home.

Lessons in Puzzle-working

I loved watching my boys work the puzzles.

Our youngest, the "Mr. Social" of the group, would stay at the task only as long as his cousin or his older brother would work with him.

He worked quickly, picking up random pieces and laying them down again. Once, he impatiently tried to "force a piece" into the puzzle—bending one of the "bumps" in the process.

His frustrated brother became a teacher, explaining that "pieces have to be a perfect fit or the puzzle won't come out right."

Unlike our youngest, our methodical oldest child enjoyed quiet time alone with the puzzle, carefully analyzing each piece, categorizing the shapes, and relishing each new discovery. When others joined him, he often directed their efforts with a "Try that one," or "Try it the other way."

While everyone participated in the project, he was clearly a manager.

How unique each boy was. Working the puzzles highlighted those differences.

Lessons from Baseball Cards and Sports

Puzzle working wasn't the only activity that revealed their personalities. The boys' traits became obvious in other areas of their lives.

Both collected baseball cards and, like many children, dreamed of playing in the big leagues.

Our youngest's cards were randomly stached in cluttered drawers and overstuffed school bags so he could pull them out at random to enjoy them.

Our older son categoried his and methodically placed them in boxes. An entire notebook was devoted to a favorite at the time, Orel Hershiser.

Eventually, he helped his brother sort his collection, and they shared hours "talking baseball."

The boys made relatives laugh as they mimicked sports announcers, pretending to call the games on television. The youngest focused on the action. The oldest developed the strategy behind each play.

Though they played and excelled in other sports, it was in baseball that the pieces of their life puzzles began to fit.

Our youngest—temporarily labeled "Wild Thing" in his youth for his mean fastball that sometimes lacked accuracy and sent batters scurrying out of the batter's box—became an outstanding pitcher with a Nolan Ryan bite. Meanwhile, his older brother's pitching—steady and strategic—resembled his hero Hershiser, the deliberate "Bulldog."

The oldest expected the youngest to react to life and sports as he would—with intensity!

But our easy-going youngest never could understand why it was so hard for his brother to simply relax.

As their sports careers intertwined in high school, however, and interesting change took place.

Our oldest child gained respect for his fun-loving, confident younger brother. And our youngest learned discipline and leadership skills from his brother.

Though big league dreams ended, our oldest ended his senior year of high schol satisfied with his accomplishments in sports, knowing he had done his best.

But our youngest son's senior year escalated from excitement to ectasy as his baseball team reached the San Diego finals. His brother watched him pitch the winning game, and then joined my husband in advising him when scouts came calling.

Big brother was truly delighted when the Philadelphia Phillies drafted our young son in 1998.

Some time later, it was no surprise to any of us that our oldest ended up coaching high school sports. It was a perfect fit for our analytical son. His pieces of the puzzle made sense too.

Don't Force a Piece

I sometimes shake my head as parents try to "force a piece" in the puzzle-life of their child. In the process, they break their child's spirit and end up with a completed picture that was never intended by God.

If we love our children, we will help them see how their puzzle pieces fit.

So how can we cooperate with God to help the puzzle pieces of our children fit properly?

1. Never Compare.

It's not wise to compare your child with anyone—whether in the family, or at school, church, or anywhere else.

It's the foolish parent who says, "Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?"

I actually said that once to one of my sons. His response? "Because I'm not him!"

(Well, duh. Lesson learned.)

The Bible explains that comparison is not wise because God is the giver of all our gifts, of all we receive in the way of personality, skills, etc. (James 1:17; 1 Corinthians 4:7; Isaiah 45:9).

2. Cultivate Their Uniqueness.

Help your child discover his or her unique personality, gifting, and other distinguishing traits and skills. And then take steps to cultivate them.

Childhood is the time to try out many activities, not only for fun, but to discover innate strengths and weaknesses.

Don't "force pieces" where they don't belong.

• A child may try out for sports and discover a new passion—or may genuinely hate exercise.
• A child may take up a musical instrument and thrive, or hate every single second of practice.
• A child may exhibit a "gift" for writing from an early age, or struggle with it in school.

(NOTE: I'm not saying we should allow for "quitters"—and there may need to be some parent/child negotiations. But we do need to become aware when there's not a good fit, and make allowances for that.)

Sometimes a different approach can make a difference.

For example, a boy may say he "hates" reading, but can find inspiration to read in the sports pages of a newspaper, or a biography about someone in history (a pirate or ruthless warrior, perhaps).

Help your child see the different personality types in the scriptures as well—impulsive Peter, wise Esther, etc. And help your child understand how Jesus grew in a number of areas in his young life (Luke 2:52).

3. Praise Efforts.

Even when children operate in their uniqueness, they may have days when they don't measure up. They are not failures, even when sometimes failing.

They are learning important information for future attempts.

So don't provoke (exasperate/embitter) your children, causing them to lose heart (become discouraged)—Colossians 3:21/ Ephesians 6:4. Intead, train them well and encourage them with appropriate praise.

(NOTE: This is not the same as the philosophy of praising everyone for everything all the time.)

4. Focus on an Eternal Perspective.

Help your child see more than today.

Encourage the use of spiritual gifts, as they become apparent, to love God and serve others.

Help them discover how they can become more like Jesus—no matter their personality or gifting.

In all their activities, be sure to include spiritual quests and community outreaches to the glory of God.

In all this counsel, remember that you will never be a perfect parent. You will make many mistakes—even in pursuing your child's uniqueness.

If you love with wisdom, and discipline with love, they will understand your inability to be perfect.

Children may be puzzling at times, but they are created in the image of God, and His creation is precious—every single child! Take time to consider the pieces of their puzzle, because it's so worth it!

I'm so glad we—for the most part—worked the puzzle right.

If you are a parent, have you discovered your child's/children's uniqueness? What part of the puzzle of their lives is yet to be discovered? Ask God to help you!

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Piro4D at Pixabay.