Finding the Fruit in Your Failures

Mary James’ ministry is a combination of strength and vulnerability. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she helps us deal with the “failures” in our lives from a godly perspective.

 “Perfect love casts out all fear,” Mary says, “but it is only God’s love that is truly perfect.”

Do you struggle with feelings of failure, believing the enemy’s lies? I (Dawn) rejoice in the truth: I am“accepted in the beloved” (Ephesians 1:6) and the Father receives me in Christ with perfect love.

Mary continues . . .

I’ve worked hard at my craft over the years, but those moments still come along that make me want to cringe: a slightly pitchy note, misspelled word, bad wardrobe choice, an incomplete thought or point.

This is completely normal, but it seems like the biggest bloopers occur when I am in front of the largest crowds. Anyone else? I suppose that is why public speaking and singing is such a huge fear for most people. It comes with great risk to the ego. 

I had an experience recently where “it” happened again…the blooper…well, bloopers actually. 

If it was “American Idol,” it would have been my final week.

Every ounce of me wanted to deliver my songs with the utmost of excellence, but it just didn't happen. From my perspective, I let the people down who trusted me with the task.  

Can any good come out of the moments in our lives or careers when we feel like nothing more than a failure? I believe so, if we are willing to wait on God before deciding we have run our last race.     

Over the last 15 years of ministry, there have been times when I over promised and under delivered—and vice versa. Each experience provided an opportunity to learn from the One who made my appointments in the first place. 

The internal and external critics can be deafening, but God always has the final say. 

It’s probably a little different for everyone, but there are several valuable truths that have helped me rise above the inner critic and the competitive nature of society.   

1. Take responsibility.

No one has more skin in the game than you do, so ultimately you must take full responsibility for your own growth or professional development. Whether it’s a blog, a book or a performance that falls flat, the question should always be, “What can I do to improve my craft when the next assignment comes along?”  

The comforting part is, if what you are engaged in is God’s will for your life, there will be another assignment. Watch, listen, and critique your efforts so you can become the best edition of yourself you can be. 

2. Ask, “Is my name on it?”

Though I “bloopered” that public performance and understand how to do a better job next time, it was not exactly in line with my ministry passion. Yet by walking through that door, I was able to see (once again) that not everything is a fit. And that is OK.  

I heard Christine Caine say recently, “I’ve reached a point where I don’t want to do anything that doesn’t have my name on it.” How true it is. This is where I need to be comfortable saying “no” from time to time.

3. Keep your eyes upon the Father. 

As I went forward to sing for the final time at the event—while blushing and fearful of messing up again—I suddenly got this picture of my heavenly Father calling me over to Him and saying,

"Mary, come near. Sit on my knee and please sing me that lovely song once more. I love to hear that voice I gave you." 

It occurred to me, perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18), but it is only His love that is truly perfect.  

If I take my eyes off the Lord and look to others for approval, it’s astonishing how quickly I can enter a place of fear. It is no surprise how quickly one can sink.

To the Lord, my song was sweet and imperfect and beautiful.

Within my error and anxiety, He showed me what perfect love looks like.

No experience or endeavor is one dimensional. There is much to be given, learned and received at every opportunity.

We need to grow, seek excellence, and make choices that align with our giftings, but I will say this: after 15 years of working hard, honing my craft, struggling with confidence and praying that God would bring forth a harvest from my branches, the gift (understanding) I received through that picture (visual) of me of sitting on my Father’s knee—singing to Him—is what I would deem the greatest of successes. Nothing earned, just a gentle and victorious reminder of His grace and unmerited favor.   

It’s a profound truth that if practiced will allow me to take a deep breath and simply enjoy the music.

Remember, well-formed love—God’s love—will cast out all our fears.

The fruit of our labor is not always found in how we impact others, but in how God is growing us so that we can most effectively draw others to His knee.

Failures, though never welcome, can be the very thing God uses to remind us of what matters most to Him.   

Have you taken your eyes off of Him Beloved? I trust He is waiting to hear your beautiful song as well.

Mary James is a Christian Artist, Worship Leader, speaker and writer. Through her soul-stirring music, adoption-prodigal story and transparent, biblically-centered messages, Mary is devoted to helping the broken find love, healing and abundant life through Christ. Since entering ministry, she has appeared at events with leading Bible teachers such as Dr. David Jeremiah, Kay Arthur, Sheila Walsh, Shannon Ethridge and many others. She has been recognized on a national level as a three-time Inspirational Country Music Female Vocalist of the Year and is the President of Mary James Ministries, Inc.    

Graphic, adapted from StockSnap.io.

5 Steps to Stop Resting on Your Laurels

This Spiritual Growth UPGRADE by Dawn Wilson considers the importance of continuing to grow in every area of life and not be content with victories in the past.

The old expression "resting on your laurels" refers to relying entirely on successes in the past for continuing recognition. It means we're too satisfied with past achievements to move forward into growth and new success. No real, consistent effort is made to improve our own life or the lives of others.

Laurel leaves were woven into a ring for contest winners in ancient sporting events. The laurel ring—a Victor's crown—was placed on the winner's head for all to see. It brought great praise and honor to the one who wore the crown.

But imagine if that victor just "rested on his laurels" and never did anything else that mattered. How foolish.

Victors would be counseled, "look to your laurels." Be careful not to lose the rank you achieved in future competitions.

I cannot help but compare this to the Christian life. 

Too many Christians—having fought the good fight of faith in their youth—sit back and reminisce about past answers to prayer, past Kingdom work and past victories. Past blessings are wonderful, but they're never meant to be the "end all" of the Christian life. And . . . 

Resting on your laurels is the opposite of UPGRADING your life!

So how do we stop resting on our laurels and move forward into new victories?

1. Take a Moment to Remember

We're not to live in the past, but that doesn't mean we don't reflect on what God has done and what it took to get to a place of victory... a place of rest ... a place of peace ... a place of fruitfulness, etc. "Remember the wondrous works He has done..." (Psalm 105:5). See also Psalm 103:2; Deuteronomy 8:2.

2. Take Stock of What You Have

What is in your hands?  What has the Lord given you NOW to work with? New resources? New skills? New vision? New people to help? New opportunities open with new supply! "Whatever your hand finds to do, do with your might...." (Ecclesiastes 9:10a).

3. Take Hold of Faith

Remember that you can do nothing without the Lord (John 15:5; Jesus' example—5:30), and without faith (in Him), it is impossible to please Him (Hebrews 11:6).

4. Take New Ground

Like the Children of Israel, moving forward into the Promised Land (Joshua 21:43), you can always take new ground when the Lord directs your steps.

• You can take new ground physically. (Lose weight? Get stronger? Get healthier?)
• You can take new ground mentally and emotionally, learning new things and biblical ways to cope with the circumstances of life.
• You can take new ground socially, reaching out to others with selflessness and a servant's heart.
• And you can always take new ground spiritually. What book of the Bible will you study? What scriptures will you memorize? What will you pray for? Who will you mentor? What can you do to make some corner of the world a better place to the glory of God?

Jesus grew in all of these areas (Luke 2:40, 52) and so can you! There's no reason to stop growing.

And don't forget, in these ungodly days:

• You can take new ground against the enemy (Satan). As long as we have breath, we must fight the good fight of faith. We can't leave it to others. The Captain of our Soul has work for us to do.

 5. Take Every Opportunity to Praise

We forget that God is God and we are not—and all we ever hope to achieve is because of His good grace. So we must take every opportunity to praise Him, honor Him, bring Him glory.

As my friend Pam Farrel reminds me, "Those who honor God, God honors" (see 1 Samuel 2:30). If you want to move forward in victory, be sure you are honoring God. 

Don't miss this. We can't just sit back and rest on our laurels. We've got to reach forth and take new ground. Because we are soldiers of the cross, and as followers of Christ, we are "on mission" until He calls us home to glory.

My friend Nancy Leigh DeMoss helped me remember a hymn that speaks to this truth. Isaac Watts, in his hymn, "Am I a Soldier of the Cross?" wrote:

"Am I a soldier of the cross, A follower of the Lamb,

And shall I fear to own His cause, Or blush to speak His Name?

Must I be carried to the skies On flowery beds of ease,

While others fought to win the prize, And sailed through bloody seas?

Are there no foes for me to face? Must I not stem the flood?

In this vile world a friend to grace, To help me on to God?

Sure I must fight if I would reign; Increase my courage, Lord.

I'll bear the toil, endure the pain, Supported by Thy Word...."

Watts went on to write about the "robes of victory" the saints will wear someday.

Much like a laurel wreath, our victory robes will celebrate what has been achieved, not for us but for the Kingdom. And the glory will all belong to the Lord!

I want to finish well, don't you?

Are you resting on your laurels? How can you move forward to gain new ground? 

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God(with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author ofLOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe. 

4 Steps to Contentment

Lina Abujamra, a pediatric ER doctor, wrote a powerful book for singles, and in this Attitude UPGRADE, she helps singles deal with discontentment. But there’s a message here for all of us!

“I like to fix things,” Lina says. “Give me a problem and I’ll give you a solution.”

I (Dawn) think most women are “fixers” at heart—part of that nurturing trait God gives us. I love how Lina uses scripture to help us “fix” a serious spiritual problem.

Lina continues . . .

Fixing things isn’t unusual for an ER doctor, and the more I read about Paul’s approach to life, the more I am convinced he’d be a great fit in the ER too.

In 1 Corinthians 7:17-24, Paul moves from the problem of discontentment to give us four simple steps for developing an attitude of contentment.

Here’s how:

1. It’s a matter of OBEDIENCE.

Consider 1 Corinthians 7:17, 24: “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him . . . So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.”

Paul isn’t suggesting contentment as an option. He uses the active verb “let” to strongly point to the necessity of exercising our will in this matter. The verb let means “to make” or “to cause to.” Contentment is not simply a suggestion.

Accept the life that God has called you to. If you’re married, be married. If you’re single be single. But whatever you do, put your heart and mind into it and actively embrace it by faith.

God cares about your obedience. When you embrace the attitude of contentment, you are willfully showing your obedience to the Lord. It is an attitude that is based not on your circumstances being what you desire them to be, but on what the Lord has provided for you today.

2. It’s a matter of ACCEPTANCE.

I like to say it another way—want what you have. We’re so much like Eve, with closets full of stuff, but always yearning for the one thing we don’t have.

Eve had no contentment despite all God had given her. She went after the one thing she didn’t have and fell strait into the pit of sin. The only way out was God’s saving grace.

If you’re living your life with a nagging desire for the one thing you don’t have, maybe it’s time you call it what it is—sin—and confess it right now. Ask the Lord to forgive you and give you the grace to embrace the life He’s called you to live.

3. It’s a Matter of WORSHIP.

It’s time for a perspective check. This God we call “Father” is the One who called the world into existence. He is bigger than your biggest imagination of Him He is higher than your highest thoughts of Him.

He is also the God who has called you to your life as you know it. I know this to be true because God repeats different forms of the word called seven times in 1 Corinthians 7:17-24.

Your singleness is not a mistake. It is God’s plan for your life today.

Will you choose to exalt God for who He is? Will you worship Him no matter what? When you do that, you will find that contentment will come a bit easier and more naturally for you.

4. It’s a matter of ENDURANCE.

In 1 Corinthians 7:20 and 24, Paul instructs us to “remain.” To remain means to stay. To stay, when you feel like leaving, is not always easy. It takes mental toughness and spiritual tenacity … eyes focused upward … determination … grit. It takes the Lord standing by your side—which is why I love Paul’s whisper to us at the end of verse 24: “remain with God.”

With God makes all the difference. With God frees you to be who you were meant to be. With God is the answer to all your fear.

God’s presence with you is how you can remain when you feel like moving. God’s presence near you is how you can rejoice when you feel like crying. God’s presence with you is how you can remain content in the calling God has given you.

Contentment is satisfaction with God’s sufficient provision. He is adequate to meet all of your needs.

Which of these four steps to contentment would make you a more content person today—whether you are single or married?

Lina AbuJamra is a Pediatric ER doctor, author, and speaker. Her passion is to apply her life-saving, decision-making, and hope-giving skills from the Emergency Room to rescue and recover people from spiritually deadly situations. She has written two books:  Thrive: The Single Life as God Intended, and Stripped: When God’s Call Turns from Yes to Why Me? You can connect with her daily at livingwithpower.org.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of anankkml at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Got Hindrances? Hand 'em Over

In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson invites us to deal with "weights" and hindrances biblically.

I was in a real tug-of-war at the AT & T store. I loved the quirks in my old phone, even though I kept running into problems.

So I asked the store clerk, "Can't we just add some bells and whistles to this one?"

"No, ma'am," the clerk said with a grin. "You have to stop using the old phone to get a new one."

I glanced down at my phone, still thinking. My husband rolled his eyes.

The clerk prompted, "Come on, hand it over."

I did get a new phone, and love it now. Why did I struggle with the change?

Same thing happened at the hair salon. With my 1980s hairstyle.

"Can't we just tweak it a little?" I asked my patient hairdresser.

"No, Girlfriend," she said. "This style's not doing you any good. We need to start over!"

Unfortunately, this pattern continues into my spiritual life.

Sometimes I try to bargain with the Lord. "Is this really so bad?" "Maybe I can hang on to this little bit?" "Can't you just add some spiritual growth to this other part of my life?"

And I hear a quiet invitation: "Come on ... hand it over."

Sometimes I hear words of grace: "You're forgiven. Now let's start over."

You would think I'd learn by now.

When the Holy Spirit asks for something, it's because He wants something better for us. He wants us to be more like Jesus.

There are so many hindrances that can take us away from God's best.

Maybe it's overt sin. Maybe it's something we love more than the Lord. (It's called an idol.) Perhaps it's a good thing - even something others might praise - but we know deep in our hearts it's not what God desires ... for us.

In recent days, the Lord has asked me to "hand over" some entertainment that didn't honor Him ... willful eating habits ... prideful thought patterns. He wants me to move on toward holiness, discipline and humility.

But I have to be honest. Sometimes I just get plumb tired of my struggles with sin; and on a day when I was especially frustrated after willfully choosing something after He gave me a surrendered "way out," God's words gave me direction.

"... let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith ... Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted" (Hebrews 12:1-3).

I saw both commands and encouragement to Christ-followers:

1. Lay aside every "weight" - every hindrance.

We lay them aside by handing them over to the Lord. We must stop justifying or rationalizing these hindrances and see them for what they are. They are enemies to following Christ. They are enemies to becoming all that God intends us to be.

Weights might be little things that get in the way of our spiritual growth, something from our past that hasn't been dealt with biblically, or even leglistic baggage (not living in grace) (Colossians 2:8, 13-14).  

2. Cast off those "clingy" sins.

Those sins we are most comfortable with are the sins we tend to coddle. They seem to fit us like tailored clothing. They cling to us like fog on a dark night. God calls us to step outside our shadowy "comfort zones" of sin and into the light of righteousness. Paul says, "do not let sin reign ... sin shall no longer be your master" (Romans 6:12, 14). Got hindering sins? Hand them over!

3. Run with endurance.

Sometimes we forget we're in a race of faith and faithfulness. When we trust Christ, we signed up to follow Him forever. Paul described this in Philippians 3:13 and 2 Timothy 4:7.  

The race is part of the deal. We can't sit on the sidelines. And we're not to run aimlessly; we're to run to win!

4. Look to Jesus.

He's our model. We can "gaze on His glory and be transformed into His image (2 Corinthians 3:18). As Jesus trusted His Father, He chose righteousness over sin and obeyed, even to the point of embracing the cross to be our Savior. In His resurrection, we are free from the power of sin and death.

By faith, we also can obey the Word and Spirit of God. We can please the Father and live holy lives. Jesus is both the author and sustainer of our spiritual transformation.

5. Stay strong and faithful!

Our strength and endurance are not something we can drum up at will. Even if we start out with our own will power, we can't sustain it for long. God is our Source, and we need to recognized that. The Psalmist prayed, "Keep your servant also from willful sins ... Direct my footsteps according to your word" (Psalm 19:13; 119:133).

We cannot live a holy life apart from the Lord. But in Him and through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can live the resurrection life. The glorious truth is, we will win the race. We will triumph in Christ (2 Corinthians 2:14).

Do you want to UPGRADE your spiritual growth? Confess and lay aside ANYthing that hinders your walk with Jesus!

What hinders or encumbers you in the race of faith?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry (NEWIM San Diego). She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Turn Guilt into Growth

Poppy Smith is full of fun and passion, but it's her commitment to biblical truth that makes her a fountain of wisdom. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she encourages us to use guilt in a positive, life-transforming way.

“Guilty feelings happen,” says Poppy. “Guilt is a universal emotion that’s built into people. But as followers of Jesus, God doesn’t want us wallowing in self-condemnation. Instead, He calls us to receive His mercy, forgiveness, and power to move forward and start afresh.”

I (Dawn) was one of those "always guilty" kids. I always thought I'd done something wrong, even when I hadn't. Later in life, I learned to distinguish between real and false guilt, but it still took me a while to recognize the power of God's grace. So I can't tell you how much I appreciate this message of hope from Poppy.

She continues:

During a stop-over in Singapore several years ago, I had the opportunity to witness a Hindu festival.

Streams of men marched by their faces skewered with long, thin, metal rods. Some rods went through their top lip, tongue, and bottom lip. Others pierced through both cheeks. Small metal hooks, inserted into the men’s backs and chests, supported elaborate wire cages decorated with feathers and flowers.

This annual festival, called Thaipusam, celebrated the victory of Lord Murugan, the son of Shiva, over evil. Shiva’s devotees willingly underwent this painful ritual to express thanks for blessings received, gain special favors, and to atone for their sins.

Believers in Jesus Christ don’t have to atone for sin through the pain of skewered flesh! We’ve been set free from both the power and penalty for sin by the atoning death of God’s Son on the Cross.

The apostle Paul writes, “Since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us” (Romans 5:1, NLT).

Even knowing this truth, we too often allow our failures to drag us down emotionally and spiritually. But this doesn’t have to be the outcome. Instead, our guilty feelings can help us grow in honesty, humility, and hope of transformation. 

Here are three truths that have helped me in my trip-up, get-up journey with Jesus:

1. Deal with Guilt.

Don’t hide from guilty feelings, shove them under the rug, or pretend they don’t exist.

Simply respond with gratitude and humility knowing that “If we confess our sins, He (God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

2. Delight in God’s grace.

Speak words of grace, not condemnation to yourself. No matter how you’ve failed, God promises to continue to work in you (Phil.1:6).

God doesn’t deal with us according to what we deserve but, instead, invites us to rejoice in His ever-flowing grace—unearned and life-transforming.

3. Discover where you need to grow.

Dr. Charles Stanley counsels, “Glean a lesson from your failures, but don’t frame them and hang them on the wall of your emotions for constant viewing.”

“The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways” (Proverbs 14:8).

Whatever your particular weakness, be honest and acknowledge it. Ask the Holy Spirit’s help to see what’s behind your wrong attitude or action, and where you’re vulnerable.

Don’t let failure discourage you. We are human and in a life-long growth process.

Instead, recognize that every stumble is an invitation to come closer to God, to know ourselves more deeply, and to celebrate the fact that He has atoned for our sins—and we won’t ever need to skewer ourselves to win His favor!

How do you handle feelings of failure and guilt? What do you need to do differently to grow through this experience?

Poppy Smith is a former Bible Study Fellowship lecturer who speaks and writes out of a passion to make God known. This article on turning failure into a learning experience is adapted from her book, Reaching Higher: Ten Dynamic Truths from Abraham that Will Transform Your Life. Follow Poppy on her blog, Inspiring YOU to Thrive!

Graphic adapted: Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.