A Mary Heart in a Martha World

Joanie Shawhan is an overcomer on many levels, and God is using her life to encourage others. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she zooms in on a woman in the Bible who has much to teach us.

"As I pondered the events of Holy week," Joanie says, "I was drawn to Mary of Bethany."

I (Dawn) have to admit that I've always been just as drawn to Martha as to Mary—probably because I've been a "Type A"-plus woman—always working, always intense. Illness has slowed me down, and it's a good thing. I'm learning the value of having a Mary heart, so I love what Joanie has to say about Mary here.

Joanie continues . . .

What motivated Mary to break an expensive jar of perfume and pour it over Jesus’s feet?

We are first introduced to Mary seated at the feet of Jesus listening to his teachings. Meanwhile, her sister Martha scurried about serving their guests.

Martha appealed to Jesus.

“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke10:40 NIV).

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:39-42 NIV).

I’m pretty sure this wasn’t the answer Martha anticipated. She probably felt overwhelmed and maybe annoyed by her sister’s lack of help.

As I ponder Jesus’s reprimand, I’m convicted of my own patterns of busyness.

Like Martha, I’m also distracted and fret about many things.

• I’m a task-oriented person, and my to-do list is very important.
• I scamper from one activity to the next.
• I try to focus on the Lord, but soon my imagination skips along on another tangent.
• Random thoughts flit through my mind and intermingle with my to-do list.

Then I’m reminded of Mary who once again defied cultural norms and chose to be in the Lord’s presence. This time Jesus was the guest of honor at another dinner Martha served shortly before his crucifixion. 

“Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance” (John 12:3 NLT).

Jesus surprises me with his response.

“Leave her alone. She did this in preparation for my burial” (John 12:7 NLT).

He valued Mary’s gift, a reflection of her love and devotion.

A Heart like Mary's

How does a task-oriented person like me approach Jesus with a heart like Mary’s in a Martha world?

1. Humble myself.

When Mary pressed in and sat at the feet of Jesus, she laid aside the expectations and the cultural norms of her day.

Did she care what the others thought?

I wonder if the men encircling Jesus noticed her. Did they glower?

Am I willing to draw near and humble myself before the Lord even when others don’t understand?

2. Stop and listen.

Mary refused to be distracted. She stopped, pressed in, and listened to Jesus.

I wonder if she heard Martha calling for help.

Sometimes I need to stop what I’m doing, sit quietly before the Lord, and wait.

“Be still, and know that I am God!” (Psalm 46:10 NLT).

I brush aside cobwebs of distraction: my to-do lists, random thoughts, and past regrets. As I refocus on the Lord, distractions will fade away.

I have an image of the Lord taking my face in his hands and turning my face to His as one would a child’s. “Look at me,” he says. “Look at me. Stay in my presence.”

In his presence is the fullness of joy. (See Psalm 16:11).

3. Give Jesus my all.

Mary held nothing back when she poured out her devotion and that extravagant perfume on Jesus.

Mary gave her all.

She gave her best.

What is my best that Jesus asks me to lay at his feet in worship?

“For God has proved his love by giving us his greatest treasure, the gift of his Son” (Romans 8:32 TPT). 

4. Maintain a pure heart.

Mary’s actions created quite a stir.

• Even her own sister didn’t understand.
• Simon and the disciples not only misunderstood Mary’s extravagant gesture of love, but they were offended and deemed her act of worship a waste.

Am I willing to endure the accusations and the disappointment from others who do not understand my love for Jesus?

I need to be careful that I, in turn, do not become offended or bitter because of the actions or harsh words by others.

Unhindered devotion to Jesus requires me to walk in forgiveness.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8 NKJV).

Seeking the Lord with a heart like Mary’s is a challenge to my Martha mentality. But the joy I experience in his presence is worth the price.

What helps you to lay aside the distractions of daily life and be in the Lord’s presence?

Joanie Shawhan shares true-life stories, offering her reader an eyewitness view of the action. Her Selah Awards Finalist book, In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer, reflects the value of “Your story plus my story become our stories.” An ovarian cancer survivor and registered nurse, Joanie speaks to medical students in the Survivors Teaching Students program. She co-founded an ovarian cancer social group: The Fried Eggs—Sunny-Side Up. Publishing credits include: Guideposts Divine Interventions, Snapshots of Hope & Heart, Wit, Whimsy & Wisdom, Life Repurposed, and We May Be Done But We’re Not Finished. Follow Joanie at www.joanieshawhan.com.

First graphic, adapted, is "Jesus at the House of Mary and Martha." is adapted. Wikipedia notes that the painting is by British artist Harold Copping.

Second graphic is of "Christ in the House of Martha and Mary" by Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer, posted at Wikipedia.

The Last Hour

Kolleen Lucariello is one of my friends who always sees a spiritual application in the simplest of life's situations. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she reminds us of a Bible story about "watchfulness," and how it might encourage us to be more alert to opportunities to help others.

“How’d you like the ending, hun?”—my husband teased as I awoke from my slumber.

"I’d done it again," Kolleen says. "I'd waited weeks to see who would win the finale of our favorite voice competition, only to sleep through the final hour."

HA! I (Dawn) have done that too! So frustrating! But Kolleen couldn't just leave it there, and I'm glad she didn't.

Kolleen continues . . .

Sleep—necessary for the wellness of our bodies, and yet, it seems it can also carry quite a cost when missed opportunities are its aftermath.

Some a bit more significant than others. I mean, seriously, missing the finale of a television show due to a snooze on the couch won’t destroy a life. However, falling asleep on the job, might.

Sometimes, we can be robbed of sleep and then there are also occasions, unfortunately, when sleep can rob us.

My heart was hit with this thought as I read through the account of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. I saw with fresh eyes how Peter, James, and John may have felt after they realized the last hour they’d spent with Jesus—before His arrest—had been spent sleeping.

Can you imagine?

When I find myself in disbelief, my mind ruminates, so: perhaps they mulled over and over again, “My last hour with Jesus and I fell asleep.” He asked me to “Stay here and keep watch with me” and I fell asleep (Mark 14:34b). Not once or twice, but three times.

I could have watched with Him.

I could have done what He asked of me.

Instead, I fell asleep and missed the last hour I had to spend with Him.

What did Jesus ask Peter when He found him sleeping? “Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?”

A question that feels like it holds the disappointment of unmet expectations.

When His heart was “overwhelmed with anguish and crushed with grief” and “It felt as though He was dying” (TPT), Jesus needed His friends to keep watch and wait with Him—the same friends that had boasted of their willingness to suffer and die alongside Him.

• Wait with Him as He wept in the Garden.
• Watch with Him in His distress and anxiety.
• Pray for the battle He was about to endure.

Now, I don’t presume to believe I would have done anything different; my flesh isn’t any stronger than Peter's, James', or John’s.

In fact, as I contemplate the events of that night in the garden, I question my own ability to remain steadfast and alert when someone needs me like Jesus needed them.

Perhaps I, like Peter, James and John, have good intentions to remain alert and watch, but instead gave into the temptation to drift off in sleep—sidetracked by my own schedule or crisis while allowing my own comfort to dictate my level of commitment.

Quite possibly, if I were to lean in and listen closely, I might hear Jesus whisper, “Could you not watch and pray for them even one hour?”

OUCH!

Quite possibly, because Jesus knew His need in the garden that night, God is asking us to be watchful of others in their own hour of need.

Watch now before the hour passes.

Remain AWAKE for:

Someone whose soul is crushed by the weight of grief?  

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4, NLT).

Someone whose anxious thoughts are trying to overtake them?

“For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance” (Philippians 1:19 NLT).

Someone paralyzed by fear and begging God for the strength to endure the battle?

“Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere” (Ephesians 6:18 NLT).

Friends, it’s time to review the last hour. Did sleep rob you of an opportunity to be present with someone in their time of need?

Remain watchful that your own exhaustion isn’t used against you as a temptation to lull you to sleep.

Remember, it’s your flesh that is weak, not your spirit.

Let your spirit lead the way!

“The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16 NLT).  

Let’s produce some wonderful results.

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of #beYOU: Change Your Identity One Letter at a Time and is the Co-Director of Activ8Her, Inc. She is passionate to every woman realize her identity in Christ and live accordingly. Kolleen and her hubby, Pat, make their home in Central New York. She’s the mom of three grown children and Mimi to six incredible grands. For more information about Kolleen, visit www.speakkolleen.com

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Victoria Borodinova at Pixabay.

Is Today, This Year, Your Watershed Moment?

Pam Farrel is a hope-builder. Through her writing and speaking, Pam encourages Christians to ground themselves in God's Word, and watch how He uses them to accomplish His purposes. In this Faith UPGRADE, Pam writes about watershed moments God brings into believers' lives.

"The Bible is full of promises," Pam says. "These promises become moments of personal choices of belief: a watershed moment that vitally impacts our future."

I (Dawn) learned what a "watershed" is in college. It's a land area that channels rainfall and snowmelt into creeks, streams, and rivers, and eventually it swells to outflow points like reservoirs, bays, or the big, wide ocean.

For a Christian to experience "a watershed moment" is to be so suddenly and deeply moved by something that it changes the believer's life and/or ministry.

Pam continues . . .

I was eight months pregnant when an invitation to a free marriage retreat arrived from Forest Home Christian conference center. Bill was a youth pastor at the time, so I leapt at the opportunity for a rare cozy weekend away for us.

At the Saturday evening session, we experienced a God-ordained watershed moment listening to the story of God giving the covenant promise in Genesis 15:5-6: (NIV)

"Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them. Then he said to him, 'So shall your offspring be.' Abram believed the Lord."

One of the preeminent watershed moments in the Bible was when God asked Abram to bring a sacrifice that was symbolic of the life and death commitment made in a covenant between two parties.

So the Lord said to him, “Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon.”  Abram brought all these to him, cut them in two and arranged the halves opposite each other; the birds, however, he did not cut in half. …

"As the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, …

"'In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here...”

"When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces. On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram” (15:9-18a).

God knew Abram was human and would fail, so He made a promise with HIMSELF to keep the promise.

The promises in the Bible are as good as the One making the promise.

God used this covenant process because it was familiar to the culture.

People knew that if a person broke the promise, the other could slay him as punishment.

God was proclaiming the same type of agreement. Because God made this promise, if He failed to keep it, He would have to die. But God cannot die.*

Revelation 1:8 says of God: “Who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty" (NIV).

Because God is pre-existent and self-sustaining, He was never born, so He can never die—so He is fully able to keep every promise.

In OUR watershed moment, as we sat in a chapel at Forest Home years ago, Bill and I recommitted ourselves to be used, as a couple, to share God’s love and equip people to love wisely.

Others' Watershed Moments

Many others have had watershed moments at that same conference center: Forest Home. The founder, Henrietta Mears, brought young leaders to the mountain.

One of her famous quotes is,

“There is no magic in small plans. When I consider my ministry, I think of the world. Anything less than that would not be worthy of Christ nor of his will for my life.”

Years later, many former students—now leaders—assembled for a recommissioning and vision-setting gathering. They represented more than 50 Christian organizations.

Billy Graham—while a speaker at Forest Home at the start of his evangelistic ministry—laid down his Bible on a stump in his watershed moment.

He prayed, “Father... I will believe this to be Your inspired Word.”

Weeks later, Graham preached at the Los Angeles Crusades. More than 300,000 people heard the gospel, sparking the evangelistic crusades that defined the rest of his ministry.

Christ brings each of us to a watershed moment to make a choice to believe in Him, in His Word, and in His ability to keep His promises.

He brought the disciples to Caesarea Philippi, where worship of many false gods including the Greek god, Pan—half man, half goat—was taking place. Jesus asked the disciples, “Who do people say the son of man is? … Who do you say that I am?” 

It was their watershed decision point.

Peter rose and replied, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:13-18 NIV).  

Hebrews 11:1 calls us ALL to this decision point: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (ESV).

• Faith is to have a solid conviction, to be fully persuaded
• Assurance is the picture of a land deed.
• So, faith is like the legal title to hope.

The definition of hope I formed when writing Discovering Hope in the Psalms is “to wait expectantly for God to show up and show off for your good and His glory.”

Hope believes God keeps His promises—even in the waiting.

Today can be YOUR watershed moment.

Are you fully persuaded that God loves YOU? That God’s Word is a love letter of truth to rescue, redeem and restore YOU?  Why not take a moment to write a declaration of your faith belief. Then hang your heart on the God who keeps ALL His Promises.

Pam Farrel is a bestselling author of 56 books, and the co-author of Discovering Jesus in the Old Testament: A Creative Bible Study Experience. (This blog post is adapted from this ECPA award-winning Bible study from Harvest House Publishers.) Download Infectious Joy 30 Day Creative Devotional for a simple 10-minute-a-day faith builder. The Farrels co-lead Love-Wise and the Living Love-Wise Community.

Graphic adapted, Courtesy of Sergey Pesterev at Pexels.

* For further explanation of the ancient covenant sacrifice that Pam described, you can read here. - Dawn

A Safe Person

Kathy Carlton Willis has a unique identity—she's "God's Grin Gal!" and she models how we can trust God with the tough circumstances of life. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, Kathy points to places of safety for our lives—special friends and the Lord Himself.“Do you ever feel like running or retreating for respite from stress?” Kathy asks.

Yes, I (Dawn) have often needed a safe place. But it hasn't always been easy to find one. Kathy makes that a lot easier with her biblical insight.    

Kathy continues . . . 

It means a lot to have a safe place when I need to escape.

When I was a young married woman, my place was about fifteen minutes from home. Far enough away to give me time in the car with music blaring to decompress.

I bolted to the Mohican River. When I arrived there, a quaint old bridge transitioned me from chaos to calm. I tuned in to the sound of rippling water. Nature showed off in every season. God met me there.

I realized I wasn’t running away from something—I was running to Someone.

A safe place led to a safe Papa.

“This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him” (Psalm 91:2 NL).

A Safe Person

My friend Laurie felt safe reaching out to me for prayer on several small issues that happened in the same time period. They were pushing all her buttons—even ones she didn’t know she had! She felt ashamed to admit the struggles.

But as soon as she reached out for prayer, she said it started getting better. It released the pressure.

She then stopped fuming and had some devotional time. That always helps.

By the end of her ordeal, she was even able to laugh at the things that annoyed her and could greet the button-pusher with sincerity and open arms.

I am truly grateful for our friendship. There are times I reach out to her for similar support.

When we discussed why we feel comfortable doing this, we decided it’s because we have the safety net of unconditional love.

Yes, when we take our burdens to someone, the best one is God. But sometimes—as the little girl famously said—“Sometimes I need someone with skin on.”

That’s where a good friend comes in. How do we find someone who is safe with all our “stuff”?

Finding a Safe Friend

Who is a safe friend?

1. Someone who doesn’t gossip about others to you. They will be more likely to not reveal your secrets to others.
2. Someone who recognizes you have a need without your expressing it.
3. Someone who listens to your struggles without having to fix the problem or fix you until you ask for help.
4. Someone who doesn’t make you feel ashamed when you confess flaws.
5. Someone who doesn’t always have to bring their story into the conversation when you confide in them.
6. Someone who loves God and is growing in their spiritual maturity.

Think about friends who care for you in these special ways.

A friend will take care of you—body, soul, and spirit.

1. BODY

I used to joke (with all truth) that I picked my closest friends based on if I wasn’t embarrassed to ask them to take care of me physically, when needed.

• The one who would tweeze my chin hairs if I couldn’t do it or couldn’t see them.
• The one who would transfer me from the wheelchair to the potty chair or shower chair.

Not many friends fall in this category. Can you think of the ones you’d be comfortable serving you in this way?

2. SOUL

Friends who nourish my inner being are extra special.

These are the ones who dive deeper. The ones who know what I’m probably thinking (even if they disagree).

Yet they don’t jump to conclusions because they want to give me a safe space to express myself.

They listen in a way that makes me feel seen and heard.

3. SPIRIT

What friends spur on your spiritual growth?

They don’t have to be further along in their faith journey to help you with yours. They simply need to love Jesus and the Bible and want to respond in ways that make you feel closer to God.

A Safe Papa

I told Laurie, if we feel safe sharing with each other, just think how safe our words are with God!

We might be shy or ashamed to tell Him about our frustrations and flaws, but God's unconditional love means we can go to him without being afraid of being scolded.

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (1 John 4:18 NLT).

God is the believer's SAFE PAPA!

Who is your safe person?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Her latest book is 7 Trials Every Woman Faces. Kathy is active as a book industry pro, and her coaching group, WordGirls, propels women toward their writing goals. She graduated with honors from Bible College and has served 30+ years in full-time ministry. Check out her Grin & Grow Break video devotions on Facebook. Discover more about Kathy on her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Pexels at Pixabay.

Don't Confuse Being Responsible with Being Faithful

Debbie W. Wilson is both biblically sound and creatively practical. In this Christian Living UPGRADE, she shares the biblical way to deal with a misunderstanding about responsibility."Do you carry an over-developed sense of responsibility?" Debbie asks.

"When I feel overwhelmed or weary, I usually discover I’m feeling responsible for something beyond my control."

Oh, ouch! I (Dawn) know exactly what Debbie means. Why is it such a hard lesson to learn?     

Debbie continues . . .

My desire to do a good job can subtly turn into pressure to make someone happy.

The desire to do good work is admirable. However, the goal to make another person happy is beyond my control.

The Difference Between a Goal and a Desire

In order to help us understand where our responsibilities end and other people’s begin, some thought leaders have delineated between a goal and a desire.

A GOAL is something you want, and you control the means to reach it.

A DESIRE is something you want, but you don’t have control of all the variables to reach it. You need the cooperation of other people or circumstances to achieve it.

For example, let’s say you plan a special picnic for your family.

• You get up early to shred cheese for their favorite pimento cheese sandwiches. 
• You hum as you spread your concoction onto slices of homemade bread.
• The picture of your family enjoying the fruit of your labor brings a smile as you pack a lovely quilt and colorful paper goods.

An hour before you leave, your son’s friend calls to invite him to the pool. He’s spent time with his friend, but not with the family.

You tell him he can go next time. Today is family time. Disappointment oozes out of his pores.

His body comes to the picnic, but not his heart.

You take a deep breath and hand out lunch on fanciful paper plates.

Your daughter whines, “I don’t like this kind of bread.”

You sigh. At least you have homemade chocolate chip cookies.

But when your son grabs the bag of cookies, the ones you stayed up to midnight baking, he shrieks, “They’re alive!”

To your dismay, the seal on the bag is not tight and ants found your cookies.

Now you’re ready to cry!

Did you fail? Was your effort a complete waste? That depends.

• If your goal was to make them happy, then yeah, you failed. They aren’t happy.
• But if your goal was to love your family, then, well done! You are a success.

Learn from Jesus

“Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls’” (Matt. 11:28-29 NLT).

Be gentle with yourself. Jesus is gentle with us. If we learn from Him, we’ll be kind with ourselves too.

Jesus doesn’t hold us responsible for things that lay outside our control.

So, neither should we.

Any goal that requires someone else’s cooperation can be blocked by those people. God doesn’t hold us responsible for what we can’t control. He asks us to be faithful to Him.

God doesn’t measure success by how things appear, but by how we live.

Faith pleases Him (Hebrews 11:6). When we love God and others through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can leave the results to God and know He is pleased with us.

And who knows, our faithfulness to trust God in the presence of disappointment may be our greatest witness to a watching family and world.

Are you feeling responsible for something beyond your control? What would it look like for you to exchange being responsible with being faithful?

Debbie W. Wilson—drawing from her walk with Christ and decades as a Christian counselor and Bible teacher—mixes insight and encouragement to inspire readers to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Give Yourself a Break, and Little Women, Big God. She and her husband Larry founded and run Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling, coaching, and Bible study ministry. Her two standard poodles spice up her life with affection and fun. Find free resources to refresh your faith at debbieWwilson.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Charles MacArthur at Pixabay.