How to Have a GLEEFUL Summer

Sue Badeau has had a lot of experience with children (read her bio, below!), and she has lots of wisdom to offer not just about parenting, but also about embracing life with joy. I love this super summer UPGRADE!

“As a child, I couldn’t wait for summer,” Sue writes. “What’s not to love? Fireflies. Popsicles. Campfires. Books. Barbeques. Beaches.

“As an adult I dreaded summer.  What’s not to hate? Ants and Mosquitos. Oppressive humidity. Sunburns. Poison Ivy. And this body in a bathing suit? NOOOOOOO!”

HA! That’s the best description of summer—pros and cons—I (Dawn) have ever read!

Sue continues …

Memorial Day 1985. Only May and temperatures were already blistering. It was our first summer with multiple foster children—three teen boys— along with our “littles” (five kids under the age of five!). The prospect of a hot, miserable summer drained the life right out of me. Like the Psalmist said,

“My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer” (Psalm 32:4).

And then I looked around at the gleeful faces on my beautiful children as they ran back and forth under the sprinkler their awesome dad had set up on the lawn.

I decided that I was going to find a way to change my own attitude from “grumpy” to “gleeful” and take summer back!

I developed a seven-step plan for upgrading my summer from grumpy to gleeful. Perhaps my plan will help you upgrade your own summer as well!

The underlying principle is to become like a child.

Summer was made for children and childlike wonder. “Children are the kingdom’s pride and joy. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in” (Luke 18:15-17, The Message).

You can do all of these things on your own, even as a fifty-something “empty-nester,” but they are better when shared with a child—so grab your children, grandchildren or neighbor’s children and get your glee on!

1. GROW something: Get your hands dirty. Experience the thrill of eating a tomato from the vine, letting the juices run down your chin. Bring new life to the lesson of the sower and seeds.

2. LEARN something: Read. Check out that museum in town you’ve never visited. Add a new word to your vocabulary every day. Practice sign language.

3. ELIMINATE something: Put the song “Let it Go!” on. Sing it loudly—off-key is okay!—and get rid of stuff. Donate. Recycle. Toss. It’s freeing.

4. EXPLORE & Experiment: Try something new. That first “gleeful” summer we boldly took eight kids on a cross-country camping trip. We explored and took risks. We experimented with the idea that we could live as frugally on the road as we could at home. And we did!

5. FLIP over something: Somersault on the lawn. Jump on the trampoline. Cannonball into the pool. Be silly and find what excites you. Catch fireflies. Watch fireworks. Be present, in the moment, completely head-over-heals enjoying the activity at hand.

6. UPLIFT someone: One year, our kids held weekly lemonade stands to raise money for earthquake victims in Haiti. Find your passion and make a difference.

7. LEAVE a lasting LEGACY: More than anything money can buy, children crave your time and presence. Sleep under the stars. Tell ghost stories by candlelight during a thunderstorm.

To this day, the memories our now-grown children talk about the most are from the lazy, hazy, crazy and gleeful days of summer. Don’t sit it out being grumpy.

Upgrade to a GLEEFUL summer—what’s not to love? Fireflies. Popsicles. Campfires. Books. Barbeques. Beaches. And always, amazing memories!

Which of these “get your glee on” ideas inspired you? How can you “become like a child” today?

Sue Badeau is a nationally known speaker, author, and child welfare and trauma expert. Sue and her husband Hector are lifetime parents of twenty-two children—two by birth and twenty adopted. They wrote the book Are We There Yet: The Ultimate Road Trip Adopting and Raising 22 Kids. Sue’s new Kindle book is Volume 3, “Never Too Old” in the Summer in Sweetland series. Learn more about Sue at suebadeau.com and badeaufamily.com.

Graphic in Text adapted: Image courtesy of marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Upgrade Your Graduate's Life

In one year, Pam Farrel and her husband had two kids (a son and daughter-in-law) graduate with a Master’s degree, a middle son graduate from university, and a son graduate high school. So how did they celebrate? They wrote The 10 Best Decisions a Graduate Can Make!

“We prepared our children for higher education,” Pam said, “by setting aside five ‘dinner and dialogue’ times to discuss key questions.”

Choices are a big part of this UPGRADE blog, so I asked Pam to share how she and her husband encouraged their kids’ wise thinking and choices.

She continues …

We wanted to give them a strong “freshman foundation” for an upgraded future!

Here are the key areas we discussed: The 5 Points of a Shining Star Future.

1. Fitness

We decided to start with what was least emotionally volatile—how to stay in shape emotionally, physically, relationally and spiritually in college. A physically strong body makes for an alert and teachable mind. Help your young adult think and pray through housing options and roommates. Where will they succeed emotionally, spiritually, physically and socially?

Can your young person even afford to go away to college, or is living at home for two years a better option—attending junior college and working to save for the second two years? In this case, talk through house rules with this new “adult” under your roof. Have your student prayerfully list their priorities and rank each variable.

If living in a dorm, how will they stay physically fit and not gain “freshman weight”? Handle stress? Deal with Homesickness? What is the plan for health insurance, doctor and dental visits and vitamins? What’s their work, sleep and study schedule?  

2. Finances

Discuss funding. How much will you contribute to education? How much scholarship money is available? Savings? Loans? Grants? How much can he or she work and still achieve well in school?

Introduce the student to the campus financial aid office. Have him or her write a budget, which encourages tithing. Money Management for College Students is a helpful resource from Crown Financial ministries. 

In our family, college is a privilege, not a right.

 Parental help is in direct correlation to growth we see in our kids’ moral, spiritual and community life. We will not fund sin.

Drinking, drug use, irresponsible behavior, having sex outside of marriage, not attending church and not being involved in an on-campus Christian group are all reasons for us to withdraw financial support. 

3. Future

Discuss career goals, internships, work experience, skill, talent and vocational inventory tests and surveys. Life Pathways by Crown Christian Financial Ministry is relatively in expensive comprehensive inventory (www.cfcministry.org).  

When will you expect a declared major?

Help your student research schools with the best reputation in their field. Clubs and organizations can also benefit a career path; and businesses near the university, study abroad, and volunteering can extend employment opportunities.

Discuss how to develop relationships with professors, and use of academic counseling and the college catalog to create a plan for graduation. Be honest about what leadership skills and areas of personal growth they still need to develop, and brainstorm together about how they can learn and acquire those skills. 

4. Friends

Relationships are the centerpiece of a college student’s life. We had lunch dates with our sons to discuss dating standards, how to find friendships with people of similar values, and how to find mentors and reliable leaders to follow. We discussed how our relationship with them would going to change; and we helped facilitate this transition by giving them increased responsibilities.

We also brainstormed with them ways to expand their social circle to gain a broader world view—to spend time with people from a variety of socio-economic backgrounds, cultures and countries. We encouraged wise review of campus clubs, organizations and social options.

5. Foundations

This concerns the important spiritual decisions for their future. Honoring God is key.

Our family motto is: "Those who honor God, God honors" (1 Samuel 2:30).

Ask how they intend to finding a local church to attend. What campus groups will they join? What factors will make up their decisions? (Having a doctrinal statement available and seeking your pastor’s or youth pastor’s opinion is also a wise option.)

Encourage church choice based not just on what they can get from the church, but also what they can give to the church—a place to serve, use their gifts, and mature. Focus on your student’s personal walk with God.

To UPGRADE your grad:  Walk alongside your young adult until he or she is solidly walking alongside God.

Which of these areas needs some extra attention before your grad leaves home? It’s not too late! Ask the Lord to help you.

Pam Farrel and her husband Bill are authors of more than 38 books. Their three sons—all college graduates now—love and serve Christ. To order their graduation book, 10 Best Decisions a Grad Can Make, visit www.Love-Wise.com.

Making Your Job Right at Home

I "met" Julie Sanders through The M.O.M. Initiative, a group of mothers who help women walk through motherhood. In this post, Julie helps us UPGRADE our home life by encouraging those of us who work from home.

"If you clock in and out from your own house," Julie says, "it doesn’t take long to figure out it takes work to work from home."

As a stay-at-home mom and then a woman working from her home, I (Dawn) emphatically agree with that statement! Successful work-at-home occupations don't magically happen. It take intentionality and often, creative thinking. That's why I love Julie's approach to working from our homes.

Julie continues ...

There was a time when I left each morning to go to a place I called “work,” a place I left behind each evening. When I took on a new position with the perk of flexibility, I found myself staying at the house to tackle my new to-do list and put in my allotted hours.

I loved being free to toss in a load of laundry, and my family loved knowing I was available, but the benefits soon turned into burdens.

I worked harder than ever to keep up with family needs and to perform well at the job that sent me a paycheck. Before I knew it, signs of my employment turned up all around the house, and my flexible work from home position started to engulf my time and energy, as well as my joy of being at home.

Surely I could contribute to family finances, use my abilities, and enjoy family life while being employed from home in a way that honored God and my loved ones. After all, I was doing my best to do my work “in the name of the Lord Jesus” (Colossians 3:17)—to “do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men” (Colossians 3:23).

Something had to change.

Four decisions made the difference.

1. Accept your limitations.

You may be doing new tasks from the comfort of your home, but added work means added time, energy, and concentration.

An industrious woman may envision herself with bottomless resources to match her motivation, but we all have our limits.

God is honored and our families are loved when we recognize the portion God has given us and use it wisely. This means we must accept our limitations.

2. Be realistic.

Though your added work takes place where your family lives, employment tasks are distinct from and in addition to routine needs.

The entire household needs to adjust their expectations of what mom’s day includes. Everyone benefits from a clear understanding of the job description and requirements.

3. Communicate your needs.

If working from home is going to work, clear and complete communication between family members is essential.

• How does the schedule look?
• What assistance do you need?
• What boundaries are required?
• How does everyone need to flex?

No one will know the challenges, and you won’t know your family’s feelings, unless you all communicate.

4. Do yourself a favor.

Instead of envisioning a seamless transition to work life at home, do yourself a favor and intentionally plan to take care of yourself, your family, and your spirit. Recognize potential stressors and counter them by making the care of your own spirit and body a priority.

Identify your family’s needs so they don’t get lost in the paperwork or quotas.

A host of benefits come with working from home, so don’t let the challenges intimidate or overwhelm you. With a little effort, your job can feel right at home.

What would your family life and work life look like if working from home was a success?

Julie Sanders works from home as an author and Women’s Ministry Director. Mother of two nearly-grown children, she enjoys opportunities to minister overseas with her husband. Her local and global ministry to women has made her passionate about the issue of human trafficking. Discover more about Julie at her blog.

Photo in Text: adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A Surprising Way to Upgrade Your Sleep

I admire author Deedra Scherm for her dedication to family and the creativity she uses to teach and encourage her boys. This post about her choice not to compare herself with others is great advice for any woman, but especially moms with young children. They need encouragement … and sleep!

“This week I had a stranger make a comment to me about my kids,” Deedra said. “It’s not uncommon. I get several each week.”

I know Deedra’s mom, Dennie, and this young “apple” doesn’t fall far from Mama Tree! They both are creative and love children. But I digress. Deedra has some simple, profound wisdom that can make a difference!

She continues …

You see, we decided to start homeschooling our three young boys (ages four, six and eight) this year. So they are with me every day. All day. All. The. Time. Don’t stop reading! This won’t be a homeschool vs. private school vs. public school debate.

I was at the store picking up a few things, when the boys asked if they could look at the greeting cards. After a morning of teaching, my to-do list, and my lack of sleep the night before due to lesson planning … everything in me wanted to say, “No!  Keep on moving!” But I try to be a cool mom. 

Soooooo, I told them “Yes!” What followed were a few minutes of grabbing cards, extremely loud fall-on-the-ground laughing, and a whole bunch of, “Hey!  You’ve got to read this!” yelled back and forth. 

There was a woman who came up behind me as I was half slumped on my shopping cart. After watching for a few moments, she said, “You must really sleep well at night.”

Yes. Yes, I usually do.

But there are nights I don’t.  And the reason isn’t a lack of tiredness. 

Have you ever had those nights where you get in bed and your mind seems to go and go, replaying all the things you could have done or should have done? Visions of how much better life would be if you could just be more organized, eat a better diet, yell less at your kids, exercise more or even dress better?

Comparison is not hard to accomplish. It’s easy to look at the pictures our friends post on Facebook and feel less than good enough. 

I see homeschool families with all their kids sitting at the table together (all at once—can you imagine?) They’re doing some amazing craft project that I could never put together. I see other mothers (who have more kids than I do) tanned and toned and dressed in a size four. I see posts of women who have traveled to other countries building wells, tending to the sick, and rescuing orphans!

It’s easy to feel less than enough. But you don’t have to stay there, in a place of “I wish I could be more like that.” 

You could do what my friend Katie does.  I had to #LOL when she tweeted, “When I feel down about myself … I just watch an episode of “Hoarders” and then I don’t think I’m that bad.” 

Funny, but there is a better way. I’d like to share with you some things that have helped me kick the habit of bad comparison.

1. Rejoice!

Yes!  You should rejoice because God has created you wonderfully!  In Psalm 139:14 it says,  “I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made….”  When you feel less-than, stop and give thanks to God for how He made you. 

Just as Esther was created for “such a time as this,” you were also created for this exact moment.  God knew what your strengths and weaknesses would be, what your personality would be and the resources you would have at this time. He gave you the children, husband, job, neighbors and the family you have. God hasn’t missed one detail of your life, and you were created wonderfully for it. Rejoice that He will work it all for good!

2. Refocus! 

God doesn’t want you to focus on the business of others. I love this little tucked-away verse in John 21 where Peter ask Jesus about circumstances with one of the other disciples, and Jesus says to him in verse 22, “… what is that to you? You follow Me!” 

When you see a Facebook post that makes you feel envious or frustrated, or when you are with someone who seems to have it all together and makes you feel less-than, it’s time to change directions. When you feel like focusing on what others are doing, stop yourself and say, “What is that to me?” and refocus on what God has called YOU to do today.

3. Release!

Take a moment to release the negative pressure you put on yourself. Reflect on the fact that God is responsible for making things “perfect”…not you. Stop worrying that you have to do more or be more in order to make everything work out. Philippians 1:6 says,  “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”  

Even in the midst of a struggle, you are promised that God will continue to work in you to work things out. You can trust Him! Keep recalling this verse to mind until you can release the outcome of your circumstances into the loving hands of Jesus.

Rejoice ... refocus ... and release! It might not be a lullaby, but it sure helps me sleep better at night!

Which of these three tips for upgrading sleep is the most challenging for you today? What choice can you make to change that?

Deedra Scherm lives in Dallas with her husband and three boys. Between homeschooling and writing, she's on constant watch out for "parents night out" so she and her hubby can get one of bookthose things called a date night. You can find her best selling book, The ABC Bible Verse Book,  and other books and DVDs at lemonvision.com or at  amazon.com. 

Becoming an Intentional Woman

Joan C. Webb believes in the power of a woman’s story. In this powerful post, she shares how you can become an intentional woman—embracing who you are and making choices to fit God’s design for your life.

“‘If I live intentionally, being true to my own personality, serving out of my God-given giftedness and calling, I’ll no longer feel the urge to envy another woman’s marriage, ministry, talents or work.’ As I jotted this ‘aha’ into my journal,” Joan said, “my shoulders relaxed.”

Joan has given me and other women many “aha” moments, but I was curious about this “aha” that changed her life and ministry.

She continues …

Believing this “aha” gradually transformed my life. Although I rarely voiced envy, secretly I felt disappointed that others had fulfilled their dreams (or so I assumed) but I hadn’t. I longed to live out the secret desires that God had planted deep within my heart.

Yet I felt trapped. My life revolved around working hard and making others happy and satisfied, especially my husband. I didn’t want anyone (including God) to call me “selfish” for taking time and energy to nurture my own interests and gifts. People-pleasing and over-doing gave way to my burnout.

I prayed, “Lord, show me who I am now, and who I can become—the person You had in mind when You created me.”

I wanted to be intentional, instead of having a knee-jerk reaction to whatever happened.

I didn’t realize it initially, but God answered my prayer through a re-usable process that has helped other caring women like you. I invite you into this intentional journey:

Step One: Come As You Are Today. Ask yourself three awareness questions:

• What is good about my life right now?
• What concerns me about my life right now?
• What is missing in my life right now?

Step Two: Celebrate Your Yesterdays. Realize that:

• Every woman has a story written with the multi-colored pens of her experiences, relationships, pain, disappointments, choices, failures and successes. 
• There is power in your story and you maximize that power when you partner with God.
• You can courageously remember and celebrate past experiences, learning to appreciate God’s goodness in developing your unique life script.

Step Three: Commit It All to God.

• Embrace Ephesians 2:10: For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10, NLT)
• Assess your God-given personality traits.
• Surrender your present, past, temperament, and gifts to Christ.

 Step Four: Consider Your Choices. Understand that:

• You live in an age of over-choice.
• Without acknowledging the roles (including your Child of God and Self-Care Manager roles) that you’re attempting to manage currently, you’ll find it hard to be objective about your needs.
• Discovering your current stressors and supports in each role will help you make intentional choices to relieve your overwhelm.

Step Five: Clarify Your Next Steps. You:

• Pinpoint one intentional action you want to take.
• Pray for wisdom.
• Picture your desired outcome.
• Plan how you’ll achieve it.
• Act. Set a date for implementation. Share your decision with a safe person. Step out with God to make the change.

The key reason for living intentionally is to glorify God as the person He created you to be. I love that, because it is doable and reasonable.

What He has for me fits me—and what He designed for you fits you.

What intentional decision have you been avoiding—and how can you be intentional this week? What loving encouragement is God whispering to you right now?

Joan C. Webb is a speaker and author who has written thirteen books including The Intentional Woman (co-authored with Carol Travilla), The Relief of Imperfection: For Women Who Try Too Hard to Make It Just Right and a four book devotional series for children. As a Life Coach who specializes in working with writers and communicators, Joan helps set people free to become who they were designed to be and from what holds them back. For more information about becoming an intentional woman, visit www.intentionalwoman.com