Prioritizing People: How to Upgrade Your Decisions

Author and international speaker Pam Farrel always seeks to breathe life into relationships, and in this Relationship UPGRADE, she focuses on the sometimes tough subject of "who should get my time"?

"Good decisions," Pam says, "will protect and provide for those who might not be able to, or yet know how to, protect themselves"

I (Dawn) know women struggle with prioritizing the people in their lives. However, none of us has unlimited time, energy or focus. As my friend Pam says, "The reality is, we must learn to see people and how we spend our time with and for people from a more heavenly point of view."

Pam continues . . .

Often women feel frozen when trying to decide on just how to prioritize people. However, even Jesus had to make choices on how He would spend His time and with whom.

Here are two of the questions I ask when trying to decide people-time priorities:

1. Who has earned more right to my time?

Some people truly deserve to be prioritized. For example, I will always answer my cell and quickly return a call to my mother, or rearrange my schedule if she is in need of my help. I do this because she gave birth to me, then gave of herself to raise me into the leader I am today. (Believe me, with my strong will, she had her work cut out for her!)

When I said, “I do” to my husband, God asked me to become a quality “helpmeet” to him.

Also all of my sons, their wives, and my grandkids deserve my time, because God gave them to our family as a gift.

My siblings, grandparents, in-laws, those in my extended family may also rotate in my schedule if they have a pressing need or issue that my skills set can help with.

In addition, if I make a commitment to a client (or boss), a disciple or a mentee, I do everything in my power to keep promises made.  

Most of us understand this concept in principle—but what happens when several of these people —or others—all seem to need us all at the same time? 

At that moment, I ask:  

2. Who is "the least of these"?

Jesus used this principle in a parable:

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me'" (Matthew 25:40 NIV).

In your situation, ask, “Who needs protected or provided for most?”  

“The least of these” are the very smallest or least of status. Jesus said how we treat those who we cannot gain from—and may not be able to protect or provide for themselves—is a reflection of how we are treating Jesus.

In a family setting “least of these” might be:

A CHILD

If you are a parent, every decision you make, know that your children are your “least of these”. So ask:

• “How will this impact the kids?”
•  “What choice do I need to make to give the best long range outcome for the kids?”
•  “Who do I want my child to be as an adult? What choice here will get them there?”

A PARENT

The least of these does not always mean a child focus. For example, we went from directing and caring for our sons, and then a few years later, it was obvious Bill’s aging parents needed to become a high priority. Because their health continued to decline, we put our home up for sale to move nearer to aid them. 

A FAMILY MEMBER or FRIEND

God might move one of the relationships listed under the first question above to the front burner of your life if something catastrophic hits: a death, an illness, a financial collapse, etc.

These are more often a temporary shift of time, energy and focus given until the storm has passed.

YOU!

When you fly on a plane, the flight attendant always says, “In case of an emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on the person you are traveling with”.

To care for “the least of these” means we also have to care for ourselves, so we can care for others!

Today, who is your “least of these”?  

Pam Farrel is the author of 45 books, an international speaker, and relationship expert who seeks to breathe life into people’s most vital relationships through the ministry she runs with her husband, Love-Wise. Today’s blog is adapted from her newest book, 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success At Keeping It All Together.

The Difference Between Average and Excellence Is Only 15 Minutes!

Marcia Ramsland, the "Organizing Pro," knows the importance of using time to the glory of God. In this Time Management UPGRADE, she helps us redeem our time–especially our "power hours."

"Did you know," Marcia says, "that if you can invest just fifteen minutes a day into your top priority project, you will reap sixty-five hours of success at the end of the year on that project?"

Wise time managment has always ranked high in my (Dawn's) priorities, but I still learned something new from Marcia's wise approach!

Marcia continues . . .

15 Minutes x 5 Days = 1.25 Hours a Week or 5.4 Hours a Month or 65 Hours a Year!

Likewise, if you lose fifteen minutes a day, you will have lost over an hour weekly and 65 Hours a year of valuable time!

What Will You Gain—or Lose—This Year?

How could fifteen minutes make a difference?

Working smarter means looking for those fifteen minutes to bring your work from average to excellence by doing the following:

• Carefully proofread a proposal or important e-mail before sending it off, fixing mistakes, and setting the right tone.
• Confirm a meeting agenda and its attendees a day ahead, saving everyone’s time and creating a reputation as someone who begins and ends meetings promptly.
• Review tomorrow the night before, writing down your top three priorities so that in the morning you can get right to work.
• Plan 15 minutes at the end of each day to bring closure to open ended items like emails and cleaning up your workspace.
• Get to sleep fifteen minutes earlier so that you can think better the next day and stay healthier long term.

People performing with excellence seek out those fifteen-minute advantages to spend on their priorities.

Work Smarter by Controlling Your Power Hours

Everyone has a “power hour” where they can buckle down and produce amazing results in a short period of time.

Controlling your power hours for strategic activities is your secret to getting the most out of your day.

You need three in a day.

Morning Power Hour:

The early bird gets the worm if you are a morning person, but loses it without a strategy.

Plan productive priority projects for the week on Sunday night, and mark them as appointments. Get up earlier, like at 5:00 or 6:00 a.m., to keep those appointments with yourself.

Noon Power Hour:

Noon is a great power hour to meet with clients, coworkers, or friends. Schedule this “people power hour” time for two lunches per week on a weekly basis, such as on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Afternoon Power Hour:

The “wrap-up power hour” is the time to bring closure for the day’s work — the hour before you finish for the day, close down e-mail, finish the project at an appropriate stopping point, make final phone calls, and write a list of priorities you will pick up with tomorrow morning.

Strategically utilize the rhythm to your day to always put your best work, your people time, and your closure hour at the same time each day. You’ll realize, “If I don’t do this project at this time, I’ll never get back to it.” So you’ll schedule it and do it.

It’s freeing, and the results will be amazing!

Managing our time well reminds me of the Bible verse that was posted on my childhood bedroom door growing up:

“Whatever you do, work at it heartily as working for the Lord and not for men” (Colossians 3:23).

That inspires me to excellence. How about you?

Marcia Ramsland is well known as the “Organizing Pro,” a Business Productivity Coach, speaker, and author of her newest book, Organize Your Workspace for a Productivity Boost available this week! She coaches individuals and organizations to be highly productive on a personal and professional level. Get free tips at www.organizingpro.com.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

The Nightmare of Lost Agendas

Cynthia Ruchti's prose is heart-healing, filled with hope. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she encourages us to place our hope in God in one of the most practical areas of our lives—our schedules.

"I glared at my computer screen as if it had betrayed me," Cynthia said. "My calendar—ergo, my life—was gone!"

I (Dawn) shudder to think what that might feel like. I live by the calendar! Thankfully, there's some good advice here for people like me. And you?

Cynthia continues . . .

The calendar template showed when I clicked on the icon that nightmarish day. But all the spaces were blank.

I had no record of upcoming doctor and dentist appointments, no notations to remind me to send in a blog post before its due date, no scheduled radio interviews or contact information, no schedule of speaking events two years into the future, no record of events from the past, and NO HOPE of retrieving the information.

I checked the iPhone version and the iPad version, grasping at electronic straws.

     Nothing.

Panic remained off-stage for a while. There’s always a way to retrieve lost information, isn’t there? I’d invested in a hefty backup system.

Looked there.

     Nothing.

I contacted the company that sponsors the calendar.

     “Can’t help you, ma’am.”

I searched my files and piles of paper, thinking I might have printed off the next three months’ worth of calendar pages, at least.

     Nope.

That task—printing off the calendars—was on the To-do list on the now blank calendar.

All my agendas, lost. All opportunities, gone.

With a distressing number of phone calls and apologies to doctors’ offices and event planners, I could piece together bits of the missing information. But I couldn’t retrieve what I couldn’t remember was gone. It was on the calendar so I didn’t have to trust my brain and its sketchy recall abilities.

Days passed with no solution. I had no idea what I might have missed during those disturbingly empty days.

But I began to see what I could gain—a new perspective.

1. “My times are in His Hands” (Psalm 31:15 NIV).

They’re not the indentured servants of an online calendar.

 2. “You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail” (Proverbs 19:21 NLT).

I’d planned and planned and planned, wedging responsibilities between other responsibilities when I saw the slimmest opening. In a moment, my carefully constructed plans were gone. But God’s plans for me hadn’t and wouldn’t change.

3. “People plan their path, but the LORD secures their steps” (Proverbs 16:9 CEB).

I’d considered my calendar written in indelible ink. Instead, it was disappearing ink.

The only plans worthy of permanent ink status are God’s instructions to love, give, serve, and live according to His Spirit.

By a miracle of grace that I still can’t explain, the calendar notations reappeared days later. But not until I’d caught the significance of what it meant to lose my agendas in favor of the ones that mattered most. His.

The lesson was driven deeper when editing a book I’d written about a woman whose plans were upended by job loss and her voice silenced—blanked—by a collection of traumas. She was forced to face many of the same issues I stared at during the nightmare of my lost agendas.

That book—Song of Silence—just released.  

God misses no details.

Take a look at your calendar. Color-coded? Crammed with activity and responsibility?

• What if all you’ve included were erased and all that remained were God’s directions for your days?
• What would it look like then?
• And what can you do to intentionally erase a few unnecessaries before He has to hit DELETE?

Cynthia Ruchti tells stories hemmed in hope, drawing from more than three decades writing and producing a 15-minute daily radio broadcast. She’s the award-winning author of 18 books and a frequent speaker for women’s ministry events. To purchase Cynthia's newest book, Song of Silence, visit here, or to read about it: here. Check out Cynthia's website for information about her speaking ministry.

Graphic: "Computer Monitor," image courtesy of Teerapun at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

8 Questions to Ask Before You Take on a New Task

All of us have to decide whether to take on more work, a new job, more responsibilities. In this Time Management UPGRADE by Dawn Wilson, we'll just call it a "new task."

Women are expected to be good multi-taskers, but we have to know our limits. And we can't compare our limits with others' limits!

Sometimes new tasks are blessings in disguise, and I'm glad I said "yes." Other times, new tasks take me over the top and I ask, "Why, oh why, did I agree to this?"

I used to struggle when I had to decide whether to take on a new task. Whenever I was faced with this kind of decision, I immediately thought:

• Will this get overwhelming?
  
• What does God think about this?
• What would Bob (my husband) say?
• Will this crowd out things I already think are important?
• Would someone else have more time or be better equipped?
• Would this be an opportunity I can't afford to miss—something I'd regret if I said "no"?
  

Every time I asked those questions, I had to ramp down strong emotions connected with them.

It's just the way I am. I tend to start hyperventilating—long childhood story I'll skip here—but the bottom line is, I don't want to be overwhelmed with responsibilities.

But actually, those immediate questions I had can be helpful if I'm driven to examine them before the Lord and with godly counsel from others. And I have to keep in mind: we're all different.  

We have different personalities and skill sets, and we tend to handle work loads in different ways.

What God asks/allows Suzy-Q to do may be totally different from what He asks/allows me to do. What might be a headache for her might be a total joy for me. Or vice versa!

Most of us are content with Plan A until Plan B comes along. Then we wonder if we should move to Plan B. Or choose Plan C — or a fresh combination of A and B.

So how do we determine whether to take on a new task?

I think there are some important questions to ask:

1. Have you seriously prayed about the new task?

James 1:5 says we can ask for direction from God. He delights in giving us His wisdom.

It helps to spread the matter before the Lord. We seek Him not only because we want His will and He knows what is best for us, but also because we need to hear ourselves "discussing" the task with Him. Sometimes when we "talk through" the issue, we hear the answer!

It also helps to lay out the pros and cons before the Lord. That doesn't mean He won't lead you to say "yes" even if there are some cons, but you need to see both sides clearly.

2. What do you think God is saying?

Is there any scriptural counsel? Is there something you need to study out before making the decision?

Proverbs 2:6 says, "For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding" God's Word can give fresh insights.

Once when I wasn't sure about a choice, I ended up studying the topic of "time management." Another time, I studied "patience."

3. How does this new task fit in with your roles in life?

What are your God-given roles? Are you a wife? Mom? Are you single? Each of these roles have built-in limitations ... and wonderful opportunities.

And what are your functional responsibilities? These will differ from woman to woman:  employee, employer, homemaker, caretaking daughter, older woman providing child care, Bible study leader, writer/speaker, etc.

4. If married, what is is your spouse's input about this new task?

How does your spouse think this new task will impact your home? If your partner is a Christ-follower, ask for prayer and specific input. If your partner isn't a believer, ask and listen anyway. Sometimes God gives unbelievers practical wisdom, especially the husband who takes his leadership seriously.

Note: If you are unmarried and/or work in an office, can you seek an employer's, co-worker's or friend's counsel?

5. How does this new task align with your personal goals?

Does it get you closer to your goals or further away? Do you need to step outside your comfort zone? Is there a new skill set you need to learn that might make this otherwise "iffy" task more attractive?

If not, are you willing to work for the required time in a task that has no other purpose than income? (But income might be an important issue!)

6. How does this fit into your priorities for the home?

Your home is important for many purposes: relationships, hospitality, ministry, as a practical picture of God or His provision to others, etc. Will this new task help with that?

Note: If you're working outside the home, how does the new task fit into the original job you were hired to do?

7. Do you need to let something else go in order to begin this task?

Would it be possible to delegate some things to create space for the new task?

8. Would you be able to keep your life in balance after taking on this task?

The quickest way to burnout is a life out of balance.

Think about a "task" decision you need to make and apply these questions. Seek wisdom for your choices with the goal of honoring God in all things (1 Corinthians 10:31; Romans 11:36), and ask clarifying questions.

Which of these questions helps you most in deciding whether to take on a new task?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic Adapted, Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

One Bite at a Time

"I wish I’d known, as a small child, the value of time," says Dawn Wilson. "From the very beginning of our days, we have countless daily opportunities to use time efficiently … or waste it, sometimes with incalculable loss. Most of us could use a Time UPGRADE."

The philosopher and American colonist William Penn said, “Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”

Some people are time management experts, but others are “experts” in the haphazard use of time! And even if time is not thrown away, it might not be used wisely or well.

Former UCLA Coach John Wooden explained the value of time and excellence when he said, “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?”

I’ve been focusing lately on “recapturing” time that I often let slip through my fingers by redeeming snippets of time for simple tasks, even for things I’ve put off. Sometimes we procrastinate tackling big projects, not realizing how they might be accomplished with bite-size tasks.

The timer has become my new friend.

I set my timer for 10 minutes and tackle timed tasks (lots of “Ts” there!). Some days, I tackle lots of these tasks. In fact, I set aside a chunk of time on Tuesdays to accomplish lots of things—my Tuesday Timer Tasks.

What can you do in 10 minutes?

• Make an appointment on the phone.
• Write a thank you note… or encouragement note.
• Water your garden (unless it’s huge).
• Sew on a button.
• Make a grocery or shopping list.
• Brush your dog’s fur.
• Vacuum under the beds.
• Fold a basket of laundry.
• Clean the bathtub.
• Read a “Golden Book” to a child.

What helps is to make a Tuesday Timer Task list! Think of all the things you can do in 10 minutes and list them – maybe in categories (cleaning, correspondence, personal care, pets, yard/garden, etc.)

The Bible talks about redeeming time (buying up each opportunity), “because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16). Verse 15 talks about living in a purposeful, wise way.

The “days are evil” part should remind us to watch our step and use our head because these are desperate times. Some things just aren’t as important or as valuable now as they used to be, in light of all we have to deal with in our culture.

It goes back to priorities, doesn’t it? What is important?

For the Christian, our priorities are: (1) God and our relationship with Him; (2) Family needs and responsibilities; (3) Career and ministry (Kingdom work) – especially in (4) outreach to others, telling them about Jesus.

Try thinking about all the “tasks” in your day and see how they fit in with your God-given priorities. Let some things go that don’t fit in, but plan more time for things that are truly important.

God things. Family things. Ministry things. Eternal things!

What are some Tuesday Timer Tasks you could list?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the President of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.