A Winner at Parenting

Cathy Horning is gifted in drawing practical truths from the Word of God and showing women how God can transform their lives and homes.

"My family loves to play games! Card games, board games, verbal games—you name it, we love them,” Cathy says. “My children are grown and gone now; still, whenever we get together our time often ends with a healthy, fun, and competitive game.”

Some families play games … others play sports. I love how Cathy makes this great parallel between playing and parenting.

She continues …

So, when I was asked to speak to a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group on “How To Be a Winner at the Game of Parenting,” I reminisced about all the times our family played games. I discovered three necessary ingredients to truly be a winner when playing the very serious “game of parenting.” 

1. Get to Know your Game. When my children were young and received a new game, they tore into the package, unfolded the playing board, examined all the pieces, and quickly claimed the game piece they wanted to represent them. A similar process is essential in parenting.

We must get to know our family. What do we look like? Who are the players? What distinguishes our family from all the others? I found it helpful to learn about each person’s temperament, their love language, his or her learning style, and each child’s position in birth order. It was also invaluable to discover where each child was gifted, what their strengths and weaknesses were, and how best to train, correct and discipline them.

Gaining insight and gathering information about your “game” and its “players” helps a family work and play better together.

2. Learn and Follow the Rules. Next, my children found the list of rules. Then, our rule keeper explained the instructions to his siblings.

Of course, there are many rules to follow in the "game of parenting." For me, the rule I needed to learn and follow more than all the others was, "I am the boss." My peace-loving personality wanted my children to like me. I didn't want to be too hard on them.

My college child-development classes taught me I had to reason with my children and always be ready with an explanation. This did not work, because it was not true!

I had to re-learn that it was okay to say, "Just because I said so!" Period! The End!

3. Model and Practice Good Sportsmanship. Finally, my children settled down to the business of playing the new game. There was always healthy competition, often roars of laughter, and occasionally friendly squabbles as they learned to play their new game.

However, as leaders of our family, my husband and I knew that we set the tone. We were the role models—we gave our children an example to follow. There was NO whining. NO temper tantrums. NO name calling. NO storming off. NO silent treatment. And absolutely, NO QUITTING!

Unlike the board game of Monopoly, we understood there are no short-cut versions to the invaluable and eternal “game of parenting.”

Of course, being a parent is much more serious than playing a game. But when we apply the essential ingredients of game playing to our parenting, we will always come out a winner. Like Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it" [Amplified version].

Which of these points has been a “game changer’ for you in your parenting?

Cathy Horning has been a women’s ministry leader, Bible Study teacher, speaker and writer for more than 20 years. She loves the Word of God. Nothing brings her greater joy than sharing with others how very precious, practical, and powerful the promises and truths in God's Word. Married for thirty years, Cathy has four grown children, eight grandchildren, and many spiritual sons and daughters. She loves long walks by the bay, a good book or movie, Starbucks ice tea, and especially family get-togethers. Read more by Cathy at her website.