Cut Out the Hypocrisy

Morgan Farr is a rare voice for God in the culture, calling Christians to actually live out the truth they believe. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she addresses the problem of hypocrisy in parenting—not to shame parents, but to encourage them to do what is right not only for their children's sake, but also in obedience to the Lord.

"I have heard it said that character is caught, not taught," Morgan said. "I want my children to 'catch' from me not only a love of Jesus, but also a fear of the Lord."

I (Dawn) could not agree more. Parents make many mistakes—I certainly made my share. The biggest regret I have in my parenting is that I didn't model better the things I believe most. I trusted others to do that for me—Sunday school teachers, Church leaders, Christian friends, etc.

I shared Gospel truth, but often projected a "do as I say, not as I do" livestyle. It was a lost opportunity to influence them for God.

Morgan's call to cut out hypocrisy is rare in today's culture—even Christian culture.

Morgan continues . . . 

If that adage—"Character is caught, not taught"—is true, Christian parents should have the market on grounded, righteous, and well-behaved children who stay in church and don’t waver in their faith, right? 

WRONG! 

According to a 2019 survey, two thirds of church-going young adults leave the church between ages 18 and 22! 

One of the main reasons listed that young people are leaving the church? HYPOCRISY!

As a millennial, I can tell you from conversations with my own friends and family that this is pretty accurate. It breaks my heart.

The family is supposed to be a microcosm of Christian faith.

The father and mother represent the dual facets of God, each having strengths and weaknesses that help to point children to Christ. 

John Wesley—the preacher who founded the Methodist denomination—said, “I learned more about Christianity from my mother than from all the theologians in England.”

Wow. 

I decided to poll my social media connections to get an idea about the main areas where hypocrisy is hurting the Christian family. The three main topics were pornography, debt, and reading the Bible.

Three Ways to Cut Hypocrisy Out of Parenting

1. Dealing with Pornography—Rethinking Priorities

Pornography is a word that makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but it is a topic that must be discussed. 

The statistics about porn in the church are staggering.

• 68% of church-going men view pornography on a regular basis
• 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis.
• 76% of Christian adults 18-24 years old actively search for porn
• 55% of married men and 25% of married women watch porn at least once a month

All of this while we (rightly) teach our youth to abstain from premarital sex and to enjoy the marriage bed! 

Now before you say, “Morgan, I NEVER watch porn!” — let me ask you, do you watch Game of Thrones? How about Grey’s Anatomy? Friends? The Office? What about the movies you watch and the books that you read? 

This is often where people say, “But that isn’t porn!” 

To which I say, "Nonsense."

Matthew 5:27-18 (MSG) says,

“You know the next commandment pretty well, too: ‘Don’t go to bed with another’s spouse.’ But don’t think you’ve preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.” 

We cannot watch shows, read books, and play video games with titillating material and then espouse the virtues of waiting for marriage or remaining faithful in a marriage.

We need to take a step back and rethink our priorities here.

What is more important? Watching that show or teaching our children Christ-like discernment?

2. Conquering Debt—Leading by Example

The Bible teaches us not to have debt—but 80% of Americans are in debt!

Did you know the BIble has more than 2,000 verses dedicated to the topic of money? 

God cares a GREAT deal about how we handle our finances, and yet many Christian families lack a budget or solid financial plans to be able to manage the money God has given them. 

If we are going to teach and instruct our children in matters of finances, we need to take the log our of our own eyes and lead by example. 

There are amazing Christian financial resources to help us get back on track. (For recommendations, don’t hesitate to reach out!)

3. Reading the Bible—Showing Its Importance

How could reading the Bible possibly be considered hypocritical to our children? 

If we don’t actually do it. 

Lifeway conducted a survey in 2017 that showed that 36% of Protestants read their BIble every single day. Only 20% had read the Bible all the way through. 

How can we tell our children to love Jesus and fear the Lord if we aren’t doing that ourselves?

It is crucial as parents to be in the Word—not just so our children will learn but so that we will learn as well. 

Do you know what parenting takes? 

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Do you know how to get those? Galatians 5 tells us those qualities are the fruit of the Holy Spirit. In order to learn these things and have them be an integral part of our parenting, we have to be in our Bible daily. 

SHOWING Jesus to Our Children

Finally, in our interactions during the day, we must show Jesus to our children.

• When we are on a walk in the neighborhood, we can talk about the creativity of God in how He designed nature.
• When a friend is ill, we can stop and pray for them.
• When there is political unrest, we can pray with our children for our country's leadership.
• We can let our children see us worship the almighty God in many ways.
  

We must show our children that loving Jesus and fearing the Lord is a relationship, NOT A SHOW for Sundays. 

What do you want your children to “catch” from you? 

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, developing her four young children, and tackling homeschool life… while moving all over the country. Morgan writes about her transition away from feminism and much more at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Gerd Altmann at Pixabay.

Finding New Freedom in the New Year

Dawn Wilson chose her word for 2021—Freedom. It's a word that is meaningful to her, but also a word we all can embrace no matter our "word of the year." In this New Year UPGRADE, she invites readers to consider whether they are living in freedom.

I had many thoughts for a "word of the year" as I approached the end of December. Certainly 2020 was a chaotic, disruptive and fear-inducing 12 months with COVID-19 and the Presidential election, but I didn't know whether to focus on an antidote to my feelings and attitudes in 2020, or to leave that behind and concentrate on a word to motivate change in the year ahead.

I considered words like Determination, Courage, Contentment, Joy, Focus, Mission, Passion, and Perseverance.

But the word that returned repeatedly to my thinking was "Freedom."

I found that, for me at least, it was a word that encompassed my struggles in 2020 and hopes in 2021.

• I wanted freedom from what held me back and kept me bound up in 2020.
• I wanted freedom to press forward with fresh dreams and motivation in 2021.

People all over the world crave freedom. In the United States, most people revere our Constitution with the Bill of Rights—the first 10 Amendments—that spell out Americans' rights and liberties.

I am a patriot, and I love America. I grieve when I see our freedoms watered-down or destroyed by those who either don't understand freedom's value, or wickedly desire to undermine it.

Here are two of my favorite quotes about America's freedom:

• "It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men." ~ Samuel Adams
• "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln

In 2021, I will continue to stand for freedom in America—the kind of freedom envisioned by our founders, not the fake "freedom" pushed by those who wish to destroy our country from within.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL . . .

In my personal life, I need to choose and embrace freedom in many areas.

Pursuing Freedom in 2021

1. Freedom from the TEMPORAL

With more freedom from the temporal I will develop COMMITMENT to eternal values.

It's so easy to get caught up in daily living and forget to live with eternity in mind.

When I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, it was a serious wake-up call. I realized how quickly we can pass from this world to the next. I began making new commitments about my time, treasures and talents.

And that commitment needs to go deeper.

Two helpful questions to ask:

• What fades away? Certainly earthly treasures do (Matthew 6:19-21), but also anything done for our own glory rather than God's (1 Corinthians 10:31). Even the "crowns" we will receive will likely be laid at Jesus' feet—for His glory. God created and chose His people for His glory (Isaiah 43:7; Ephesians 1:4-6), and we are to live in such a way and do good works that God gets glory. (We are so man-centered rather than God-centered. Here's a good article about God's zeal for His own glory.)
• What lasts? It's been said that only two things go from earth into eternity—the Word of God (Isaiah 40:8; 1 Peter 1:25) and people who will enter into either eternal life or eternal death, and will be judged in one of two judgments. So in light of what lasts, how do my priorities reflect these truths of eternity?

My life is short. I want to be more and more committed to eternity and the glory of God.

2. Freedom from TENSION

More freedom from tension means greater CALMNESS.

Part of my day job is gathering news articles online for various ministries, useful for Christian leaders' understanding, writing or speaking. This daily project seldom unnerves or aggitates me—but give me one hour of watching the news, listening to the hype, and I'm suddenly upset and tense!

Add to that voices telling me I need to fear the future, and anxiety can quickly rise.

I will find more freedom by listening to the Prince of Peace and voices of wisdom in the Word of God that bring calmness to my anxious heart, such as —

• Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. ... I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world (John 14:27; 16:33).
• You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you (Isaiah 26:3).
• Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God (Philippians 4:6).
• Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).
• And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts... (Colossians 3:15a).

The Lord wants to bring the freedom of sweet calmness into my life, and the more I saturate my life with His peace, the more I will experience that freedom.

3. Freedom from TIMIDITY

With freedom from timidity, I'll cultivate more COURAGE. 

I can't help but think of the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz—afraid of many things though meant to be the brave King of Beasts.

Christians are not meant to cower in fear or shrink back in timidity.

These are days when Christians need more courage. The power of evil increases daily, and we need to stay strong and stand strong.

• Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. ... so that you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand (Ephesians 6:11, 13).
• Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord (1 Corinthians 15:58).
• Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith... (1 Corinthians 16:13a).

Freedom from timidity means I will step out to obey the Lord, no matter how uncomfortable I feel.

And it means I will stand up against sin with courage, speaking truth compassionately and sharing the Good News of hope.

4. Freedom from TORMENT

With more freedom from torment, I'll discover greater CERTAINTY.

Satan loves it when we feel tormented. He wants to devour us and accuse us. Tormenting our thoughts about ourselves is one of His strategies. He is a tempter, liar, schemer, and trickster. Part of getting freedom is resisting the devil.

We all have temptations that are associated with our personal torment.

What brings me torment?

Thoughts about guilt over sins I've committed.

Feelings of not being enough.

I so easily forget that I am forgiven (Ephesians 1:7; 1 John 1:9), and that I don't need to be "enough" for God—and indeed, I cannot! I am saved by grace, not anything I've ever done (Ephesians 2:8-9; 2 Timothy 1:9).

The Word of God answers torment with two powerful words: "in Christ."

My identity in Christ answers a lot Satan might try to throw against me!

As Dr. Charles Stanley wrote, "Our true identity is defined not by our past actions, but by the Savior's."

God's forgiveness and salvation by grace are only two things I have because of being in Christ. I think that I will study who I am in Christ this next year. Here is an article that is a good starting point, and here is another article.

I believe knowing what it means to be in Christ will bring me greater certainty, greater assurance in my walk with God—and stop the torment!

5. Freedom from THINGS

With freedom from the pull of things, I'll develop more CONTENTMENT.

For the last couple of years I dabbled with rational minimalism, hoping to get rid of excess "stuff." I got more serious about it since Thanksgiving of this year. My logic was that I wanted to go through my Christmas decorations and get rid of everything I no longer thought I'd use. I ended up with four boxes to Amvets! And I still have a lot of Christmas stuff!

I am ready to get more serious about the things in my closets, on my shelves, and in my garage.

It's so easy to become enslaved to things. They can control our lives without our realizing it.

Notice what is on your calendar and how you spend your money—it's an indication of your priorities and what you love.

I know I also want to reduce my possessions for another reason. I don't want to leave lots of stuff for my children to have to weed through in the future.

It's not easy. But Jesus' words help me think with purpose:

"Watch out! Guard yourselves against every form of greed, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15).

I'm making a plan to keep reducing my possessions in this new year. I pray it will give me more freedom to act rather than always being tied up with managing more "stuff."

But I expect it will increase my level of contentment too, as the Holy Spirit teaches me to open my hand and release more. I anticipate more gratitude as I think biblically about what I already have.

6. Freedom from THIEVES

Freedom from "thieves" will spur greater CAPACITY.

What are these thieves?

We all have "time robbers" For some, it's mindless TV watching, even binge watching. For others, it's endless social media scrolling.

When these "thieves" are stopped, we'll have greater capcity, including more time, for creativity and productivity.

For example, I complain that I don't have enough time and strength (because of side effects from my daily chemo pill) to work on the book I want to write. Yet I allow an evening time robber plenty of license to destroy writing opportunities.

Somehow, I need to figure out how to wisely use the strength and time I have to get that book written. I need God's help to know what to do and what I can leave undone.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God... (James 1:5).

Also, instead of letting other people think for me or entertain me through various kinds of media, I need to spend more time in quiet meditation with the Lord, and to allow His Word to form my thinking and attitudes. I need to create more opportunity for godly imagination so I can use and explore my spiritual gifts in ways that will please Him.

I need God to expand my capacity to bring Him glory!

Freedom in the New Year can mean different things to different people. I'm excited to discover what freedom could mean in 2021—what it might encourage or change.

When you think about "freedom" in your own life, what thoughts or words come to mind? Maybe one of those words might be the springboard for your word for the year... or maybe you'll choose "freedom" too!

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, at Revive Our Hearts, a blogger at TrueWoman.com, writes wiki-type posts at  Christianity.com, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Daniel Reche / Fotorech at Pixabay.

Christmas? No Sweat!

In this Christmas UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson encourages practical and biblical responses to the holiday season that can reduce stress, even in a pandemic!

Last year, my Christmas looked so different. Circumstances made my family adapt and change so many aspects of the holiday season.

Preparing for a stem cell transplant, and caring for my husband who developed a serious physical issue that required hospitalization, I did all I could to reduce stress and still enjoy the holiday.

• Some family traditions were either set aside or left to others to fulfill.
• I put up the Christmas tree in September, because originally, my transplant was to be in October  (and then it was changed to December, and ultimately January)!
• I didn't have much energy, so I only put up one fourth of my holiday decor... and found I didn't miss the other things.
• I only made half of the holiday foods and treats I usually would make.
• We didn't put up out complicated outdoor Nativity display—disappointing our neighbors, but necessary.

During that December, I thought a lot about what makes Christmas — "Christmas."

This year, I prayed and decided to allow God to show me what is important, and what are simply "stress-builders." 

As a recovering perfectionist, I thought I had given all my expectations to the Lord, but I soon discovered my desires for the "perfect Christmas" still demanded my attention. And those unreasonable desires created stress.

That had to change.

God may bring certain stresses into our lives with purpose—usually to teach us something or mature us in our faith. But most of our stresses are of our own doing.

God wants to help us reduce or eliminate unnecessary stresses at Christmas. The Christmas season affords us many choices.

Here's how the Lord spoke to my heart.

Intentional CHOICES Can Eliminate Holiday Stress

1. Settle Who’s in Charge.

I've noticed how many of us would absolutely say, "Jesus is Lord," but we might not allow Him to take control of our Christmas celebration. We know what we want to do—why consult Him?

How ironic that we celebrate the One who came to lead us into peace, joy and love; and yet when we "take charge" we often leave Him out. And we can end up with stress and all sorts of other emotional issues.

Jesus said, "apart from Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5), but we think we're more than capable of handling the holidays without even a simple prayer for His guidance and help.

The Lord wants to help us with our Christmas plans and relieve our stress, but we have to place our confidence in Him to know what is best for us and our families. We need to ask, listen, and obey.

Surrender your Christmas to the Lord; give Him your burdens and find rest (Matthew 11:28).

When we acknowledge God's sovereign control by faith, we may eliminate many of the holiday worries that cause us stress.

CHOOSE TRUST.

2. Stop Pursuing Perfectionism.

As I mentioned, perfectionism used to keep my head spinning. In pursuit of the "perfect" tree, dinner, gifts, etc., I pretty much ruined how I experienced so many Christmases.

No one and nothing is perfect on this earth. Only God is perfect.

We have expectations for ourselves and for others, and when those hopes or expectations aren't met, we can get heartsick with disappointment (Proverbs 13:12). (Worse, we can get angry when we don't get our way.)

I used to say, "Dawn, choose your battles at Christmas!"

Now I say, "Dawn, watch your expectations."

As we stop pursuing perfectionism, we can give everything our best effort and then relax. My new goal is to do my very best and leave the results to God.

There's nothing wrong with hard work and diligence toward a goal. That's not the same as perfectionism that drives and pressures us.

CHOOSE DILIGENCE.

3. Savor Simplicity.

Sometimes we get so elaborate, people and godly purposes get lost in the process.

Simplifying our lives is one of the best ways to remove stress.

Christmas isn't about complicated decorations and meals. It's about appreciating God's provisions and making memorable moments with the people we love.

Christmas memories are made in quiet chats with grandparents, fun baking sessions, walks in snow (or in San Diego, on the beach), drive in neighborhoods to see Christmas lights and other enjoyable moments. None of that needs to be complicated.

One of the unexpected sources of stress is the problem of "too much." I noticed something this year. I had so much Christmas decor put up, I lost sight of most of it.

It was a sparkly blur!

A wise fashion consultant once told me, "When you dress up to go out, before you go out the door, take off one piece of jewelry or accessory." She knew how easy it is to overdo, especially when we celebrate.

The concept of "less is more" works in fashion, home and Christmas decoration, and so many other areas of life.

God wants us to be content with what we have (1 Timothy 6:8) and be appreciative of the powerful simplicity in the birth of Christ (Luke 2:11).

So realistically, we don't need much to enjoy Christmas. But also—partly because of Covid-19 restrictions—we don't need a full calendar. Yes, there will be activities, especially if we have grandchildren. But sometimes drinking a cup of cocoa in front of the fireplace or munching on a Christmas cookie while watching a timeless holiday movie is all we need.

CHOOSE CONTENTMENT.

4. Set Wise Boundaries.

Setting wise boundaries helps reduce stress. I want to focus on just three areas for boundaries.

(1) Watch your budget. 

We don't need to go beyond our means. When we overspend, we not only lose sight of wise choices now, we have to deal with the stress of bills after Chrismas! Set boundaries on your checkbook and credit cards!

Ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) in the use of resources—practice good stewardship.

We seldom need "more." We often need a greater appreciation for what we already have.

Instead of buying more decor this year, I reduced what I have. A local charity got three boxes full of decorations others might appreciate, and I plan to go through my possessions this week to find coats, sweaters, blankets, mittens and other items the homeless might need as the weather turns chilly.

(2) Cut the Clutter.

Look around your room after decorating for the holiday. Does it feel "fussy"—more like a Christmas shop of displays than a home? (I'm so guilty of the over-do at Christmas!)

I know this is an individual thing, and you may want to keep heirlooms and antiques; but if your decor feels like clutter or even hoarding, rethink what you're keeping. You may need to set some boundaries for new purchases—after you cut the clutter now!

Christmas, like life, does not consist of an abundance of things (see Luke 12:15).

Notice the things that may still be in Christmas storage boxes or tubs. Why are they here? If they're not being used, do you really need them?

If you feel your decor is beyond healthy boundaries, here are a few ideas to pare down.

• Take pictures of groupings of items and email or text those photos to family members to see if they want some of your items. (You're just checking, not pressuring.)
• Can some things (good quality) be re-gifted?
• Consider giving to a charity where people can purchase decor at low cost, or use your "treasures" as gifts.
• Note: Sometimes taking a photo for a photo book to preserve and trigger memories can be just as satisfying as keeping the actual thing.

Simplifying by reducing or eliminating things—even well past Christmas—is a good way to get rid of a subtle kind of stress.

(3) Examine your relationships.

In some families, unhealthy relationships are strained throughout the year, and at Christmas, that stress can go over the top!

Set healthy boundaries, even with those you love.

• There's nothing wrong with valuing your time and doing what is best for you and your family. Don't be afraid to be clear about your time, needs or familiy's needs.
• Be kind and gentle (Ephesians 4:32; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7); but don't be afraid to say "no," when necessary.
• Antipate how relationship issues might trigger problems when you get together, and come up with good strategies to make these sticky interactions less stressful.
• Read scriptures about the tongue before Christmas—like "a gentle answer turns away wrath"(Proverbs 15:1)—because good communication goes a long way.)

We can make many wise choices when it comes to spending, our possessions, and relationships. God's Word has practical instruction.

CHOOSE DISCERNMENT.

5. Seek Moderation.

We tend to excuse bad habits during the holidays, thinking over-indulgence will lead to more joy. But overstuffed tummies and late-night binge-watching set us up for physical stress that don't help us.

Wise choices help us avoid upset stomachs and bleary eyes.

What we need is self-restraint, self-control. We can still rejoice and celebrate while practicing moderation (Philippians 4:4-5; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

• Yes, we can enjoy a reasonable meal and beverage—small portions; waiting between bites; focusing on people more than the food.
• Yes, we can have dessert—leaving room for it as we enjoy our meal.
• Yes, we can plan opportunities for special Christmas programs—but beware of mindless eating on the couch!

If we seek ways to practice moderation in our celebration, we'll likely be glad we did.

CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL.

6. See Christmas through Others’ Eyes.

It's easy to turn inward and only see our own circumstances. It helps to pause and think about others who have needs too. How can we relieve their stresses?

First, if you have children, intentionally take time to discuss the holiday with them.

• Many children are struggling during the coronavirus. Are they feeling additional stress this Christmas? Can you relieve some of their stress?
• What makes Christmas special for them? More than how many gifts they get (or how big), what activities with you will make these weeks memorable?
• How can you better help them embrace the true meaning of Christmas? How can you help them understand that because Jesus came, we have hope and help.

When it comes to gifts, be careful not to stoke unreasonable or unhealthy expectations. Focus on loving your children, not showering them with "more." Love may include giving, but love does not equal things.

Also, ask God to help you see other people through HIS eyes. Then, as you move through the season, determine to see Christmas through the eyes of those around you:

• a weary or struggling spouse,
• family members who have experienced loss,
• a needy family in your church,
• a homeless person or family,
• a widow or widower,
• an orphan,
• an elderly shut-in or someone who is sick,
• someone deployed in the military, or
• a single person who might be lonely.

Because of Covid-19, many are hurting. Some feel desperate. Many have lost family members or jobs.

Be kind and compassionate, ready to counsel and comfort others during the holiday (2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Colossians 3:12).

CHOOSE LOVE.

We don't have to "sweat" the holidays because of stress. We can relax and choose biblical responses like trust, diligence, contentment, discernment, self-control and love that will bring us a greater measure of joy and peace.

What is causing you stress so far this holiday season? Which biblical response could help you today?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, at Revive Our Hearts, a blogger at TrueWoman.com, writes wiki-type posts at  Christianity.com, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

The Secret to Doing Hard Things

Kathy Carlton Willis is amazing. I've watched her go through a series of tough circumstances over the last few years, and she always manages to choose biblical responses as she teaches others how to deal with struggles as "God's Grin Gal." In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she shares her secret for doing hard things.

“I’m usually self-sufficient but lately I’ve realized more than ever that I’m not Wonder Woman,” Kathy says. “The demands of life not only highlight my weaknesses, but spotlight God’s strength.

Now I (Dawn) just shared how amazing Kathy is, but if you read her opening statement, you'll realize how humble she is before the Lord, always trusting His sovereign purposes. 

Kathy continues . . .

Everyone’s been talking about what a hard year 2020 has been. My personal worst day of an already bad year happened the day before Hurricane Delta hit our area.

My family sold our forever home to move to an area where my husband’s job landed him, and we dealt with many unknowns at once—more like didn’t deal with them.

The day finally came to load the last POD with belongings and hit the road.

Sometimes you gain life lessons through the worst experiences!

Here’s what I learned.

Don’t believe what they say a POD storage unit holds. 

We packed to the ceiling, but still had items that wouldn’t fit. So we had to leave behind multiple pieces of furniture. This day was a day of many mini goodbyes.

Packing and loading a POD with your mate will show you how well you work together and love each other. 

Russ and I passed that test!

I also learned I’m still strong physically and on the inside. Grateful for that strength to come through when I needed it.

One time when we flipped a heavy desk upside down to stack it on top of the washer and dryer, I turned to Russ and said, “We did this. We did this. We did this!

Sometimes you have to celebrate the immediate accomplishment before the entire goal is even completed.

Moving the day before a hurricane hits is not wise. 

Loading a POD while it’s lightly raining wasn’t great. But driving in a three-car caravan through almost zero-visibility on highways packed with merciless aggressive drivers evacuating the area is a nightmare.

My husband drove lead and went faster than we were comfortable following. He made a couple of turns not in the plans.

Mom drove in the middle and had a hard time seeing or keeping up with Russ. I was the caboose and my main job was to keep an eye on Mom and go where she went, even when she lost the lead car.

This meant pulling over three times for regrouping and calling Russ to reconnect. The phone map app in remote locations wasn’t reliable.

We truly got to the destination as a grace of God—I’m sure of it.

God can be trusted. 

When we were just two minutes down the road, physically exhausted from loading the POD, emotionally exhausted from saying goodbye to my forever home, and mentally exhausted from dealing with multiple challenges in addition to the weather, I whined to God.

I can’t do this.

God said, “Can you trust Me?”

Yes, Lord.

He said, “Don’t focus on what you can’t do, focus on trusting Me, and I’ll take care of the rest. I’ll get you there.”

Okay Lord.

For the 2.5 hour trip, I prayed . . . and prayed. 

You can do hard things. 

After enduring the above issues and getting to the destination, we had three vehicles to unload in the pouring down rain, making about twenty trips into our temporary dwelling place.

I was perfectly willing to get soaking wet and exert more physical energy and lifting compared to driving in those awful conditions.

Perspective can help you deal with yucky stuff by remembering something far worse.

Storms are called storms for a reason. 

The physical storm of Hurricane Delta was horrendous. Way worse than predicted. And going through it in a strange place was difficult.

We had three worn out frustrated people who craved space, all situated in tight quarters. Not ideal.

But we were safe. Safe in the storm.

 How to Do Hard Things

1. Trust God.

Without trusting Him, we’re actually trusting in ourselves. And sadly, we don’t have what it takes apart from God to get it done.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT).

2. Do the first thing.

Don’t try to tackle it all. Just do the step immediately in front of you. God will show you what it is.

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving (Psalm 28:7 NLT).

3. Keep going when it’s hard.

It might not get easier until it is OVER.

“The Lord says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name’ (Psalm 91:14 NLT).

4. Celebrate when to-do becomes ta-done.

In our eagerness to be productive, we often forget this step before moving on to the next thing.

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24 NLT).

Your choices in hard times can spotlight the Lord’s strength and faithfulness.

What hard thing does God want you to do this week?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Look for 7 Trials Every Woman Faces, coming soon. Kathy is active as a book industry pro, and her coaching group, WordGirls, propels women toward their writing goals. She graduated with honors from Bible College and has served 30+ years in full-time ministry. Check out her Grin & Grow Break video devotions on social media. www.kathycarltonwillis.com

Graphic of PODS Storage Unit at Mobile Attic.

Graphic adapted of Hurricane Delta, courtesy of Wikipedia.

Being a Light in a Dark Election

Morgan Farr is a woman of faith with courage to speak up for the Word of God. In this special, insightful  Election UPGRADE, she encourages biblical responses and behavior before, during and even after the upcoming election.

“I have a confession to make,” Morgan says. “I am a bit of a current events junkie. You wouldn’t know it to look at me, but I love politics, civics, and the law.”

I (Dawn) am too! And I have found Morgan to be a woman of faith with strong opinions—and those opinions are rooted in powerful, positive principles of truth from scripture.

Morgan continues . . . 

I strongly believe healthy discourse and debate about these topics—politics, civics and the law—is a crucial aspect of being a good citizen.

In the craziness that is 2020, I have had to take a break from engaging in debates and discussion about politics and, in some cases, even following current events, because I just cannot take the hateful darkness on all sides of the political spectrum. 

The amount of name calling—even from mature Christians—in this election cycle has been appalling. Hateful memes and comics are frequently shared by people claiming Christ’s name.

People are railing against political parties and ideas while forgetting that the people that they are talking about are made in the image of God—just like us.  

So, I am going to share with you how to be a light for Christ before, during, and after the 2020 Presidential Election. 

BEFORE the Election

1. Do Your Research: 

Learn as much as you can about each candidate so that you can make an informed choice.

A small caveat here. Keep in mind that the presidential election is ONE of the elections happening on November 3rd. There are 470 seats in Congress up for election this go around. That is 35 Senate seats and 435 House seats. Be educated and prepared! 

2. Be Wise:

• Share what you learn about the political candidates in a way that honors God. Check and double check your facts before you post anything about another person, political or otherwise.
• Remember that each of the candidates are human beings made in the image of God, treat their names that way.
• Share positive articles and posts about the candidate that you decided on rather than posting all the negative things about the other candidate. Do not engage in the mudslinging nonsense. 

This is where people often say, “But Morgan, the other side is bashing our candidate, so we have to tell what their candidate is doing wrong!”

To which I say, “Nonsense!”  

Proverbs 12:16 says,

Fools have short fuses and explode all too quickly; the prudent quietly shrug off insults.

Let them say whatever they are going to say.

You are not going to change anyone's mind on social media by arguing or posting ugly comments or sarcastic memes. No one is won over that way, and all it does is make you (and the church body) look foolish. 

DURING the Election

1. Do Your Part

Titus 3:1-2 says,

Remind the people to respect the government and be law-abiding, always ready to lend a helping hand. No insults, no fights. God’s people should be bighearted and courteous.

Get out there and be helpful! 

These are a few simple things that you can do to help on or near Election Day regardless of who you are voting for:

1. Help get other people registered to vote ahead of time.
2. Volunteer to be a poll worker. 
3. Bring supplies (water and snacks) to people in polling stations.
4. Find out if anyone in your church or community needs help getting to the polls on November 3rd.

Examples of that fourth point:

• Help the elderly, who may not be able to drive.
• Help mothers of small children—babysit so the children don’t have to stand in line at the polls.
• Help first-time voters who may be intimidated by the process. 

2. Vote Well

Do not just vote for the person with the most advertisements or the person that your pastor, dad, spouse, or employer told you to vote for.

Vote according to your conscience after careful prayer and study. 

AFTER the Election

If Your Candidate Won: 

That is great news! Handle it like a good sport.

Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out (Colossians 4:5-6).

Do not alienate people with boasting or trash talking after the election. All that does is cause strife.

Instead focus on bringing out the best in the people around you since that is where you will have the greatest impact. 

If Your Candidate Lost: 

I am sorry for your disappointment. Handle it like a good sport.

Be a good citizen. All governments are under God. Insofar as there is peace and order, it’s God’s order. So, live responsibly as a citizen. If you’re irresponsible to the state, then you’re irresponsible with God, and God will hold you responsible. Duly constituted authorities are only a threat if you’re trying to get by with something. Decent citizens should have nothing to fear (Romans 13:1-3).

Do not then allow that setback to impact your testimony as a Christian by behaving in a manner that would blemish the reputation of Christ.

Whoever gets elected is not a surprise to God.

God is in complete control even if we do not like the outcome.

Finally, let me remind you that the leaders of the country are hundreds or thousands of miles away from most of us.  Do not allow political affiliation to determine how you treat the people in your community. 

If someone votes for Trump, respect their choice. 

If someone votes for Biden, respect their choice. 

Ultimately our allegiance is not to the Democrat Party or Republican Party, or even to the United States. Rather, our allegiance is to Jesus Christ and His ultimate authority as the Son of God. 

What can you do to bring light to the election process for 2020?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to love her husband, developing her four children, and tackle the homeschool life while moving all over the country. Morgan writes about her transition away from feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Hannah Edgman.