COVID Came Calling

Author and caregiver Sally Ferguson has grown in her faith in God since the coronavirus changed so many lives in America. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she tells her story and the scriptures that helped her through a difficult year—scriptures that can help us too.

"When COVID came knocking at my door," Sally said, "I was unprepared for how it would turn my life upside down."

I (Dawn) don't think any of us knew how our cirumstances would seem to spiral out of control during the pandemic; but almost everyone I've discussed that with admits God taught us important lessons in our struggles.

We will never be the same; and in some ways, that's a good thing—as Sally explains.

Sally continues . . .

Our family had taken the necessary precautions and followed guidelines for safety. Yet, ten months into the lockdown, not one, not two, but five members of my immediate family tested positive for the coronavirus.

For the most part, I felt I had adjusted to the changes COVID-19 brought to our country and to our county.

I’m an introvert, so I loved being home more, and took online workshops. I made more phone calls to stay connected with my small groups, and checked in with my extrovert friends to see how they were faring.

However, April dawned with attending our daughter’s wedding via Zoom.

• I watched my husband weep at not being able to walk his daughter down the aisle.
• I mourned not being able to assist her preparations.
• The reception in our home state was postponed twice, and then put on hold indefinitely.

In August, elective surgeries were again allowed, and Hubby flew to Florida to help his parents while his dad recuperated from shoulder surgery.

September 8 his mom fell and fractured her back. What followed can only be seen as a bizarre set of events.

The COVID-19 lockdown prohibited visits to her in rehab, where she entered the barren corridors of dementia. She was released only as a shell of her former self.

Hubby came home and I made the trek to Florida to help with her care.

In November, our family packed up my in-laws’ home and moved them north so they could be close by for assistance.

December 21, my father—also in our care—was taken to the hospital with stroke-like symptoms, where he was diagnosed with COVID-19. One week later, my hubby and his dad went to the ER and tested positive.

On January 7, my father-in-law passed away in the hospital.

Why have I shared the events of my COVID-year?

Not because my story is unique. At this time, over 400,000 deaths have occurred in the United States from the coronavirus.

I went into some of the details of our lives because I want to share the most important point.

I have learned through the worst of times that God is faithful.

God never deserts His own.

When I ponder how we will continue to care for my mom-in-love and for my dad, I often wonder how we will keep it up.

But, God.

He gives us strength for today, and tomorrow will do the same.

Now, if I could just tape that to my forehead, it might be a daily reminder. I get into trouble when I try to figure it all out by myself.

What verses would I recommend to a fellow traveler on this road of suffering?

1. Isaiah 40:11 — The Lord will hold me close. He will carry me.
2. Isaiah 40:27 — God knows. He cares.
3. Philippians 1:29 —It is a gift to believe and to suffer. Yes, even in caregiving, because, “If you’ve done it for the least, you’ve done it for Me” (Matthew 25:40).
4. Psalm 66:12, 20 — We went through fire, but God has not withheld His love from us.
5. Psalm 73:16-17 — I am overwhelmed when I try to understand why COVID hit our family. God grants me perspective, knowing He is still in control.
6. Psalm 18:16-19 — Our enemy launched an attack on us, but God is our Rescuer and our support.
7. Psalm 22:24 — God does not turn away from suffering.

Have your circumstances brought despair? It may not be COVID-caused, but we can all relate to hardship in this year of change and uncertainty.

Hang on to hope in the God who sees you (Genesis 16:13) and is fighting for you (Deuteronomy 1:29-31).

• May He usher you into His sanctuary for refuge and renewal (Psalm 40:1-3).
• May He take your breath away in awe of His power over the things that leave you feeling powerless (2 Corinthians 12:9).
• And, may you stand confident in knowing you are never alone (Hebrews 13:5).

How will you seek the Lord’s comfort in your turmoil? Will suffering draw you closer to God, or will it put a wedge between you? How will that define your response to Romans 8:35-39?

Sally Ferguson is a caregiver for her mom-in-love, her dad, and her grands, and writing a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in western New York with her hubby of 33 years. Look for her words at EzineArticles, AlmostAnAuthor, Upgrade with Dawn, Amazon and sallyferguson.net.

Graphic adapted, created by Wirestock, courtesy of www.Freepik.com.

My Wellbeing Upgrade

I've grown to admire Kathy Carlton Willis through the years not only for her professionalism and writing expertise, but also for her authenticity and honest approach to life. In this Health UPGRADE, she invites us to ask questions that can help us be better stewards of our lives.

“This year more than ever, I’m looking for something to change,” Kathy says.

“With so much outside my control, it’s nice to find a few ways I can make a difference, especially starting inside myself.”

I (Dawn) agree with Kathy's approach. It's so easy to make excuses for our lack of progress because of circumstances. But this is not transformative, because God still gives us many choices in our circumstances.   

Kathy continues . . . 

God seems to really be impressing on me to focus on personal stewardship through seeking wellbeing and being well.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying if I do my part that God is going to heal the things outside my control. He does heal, but He often uses us broken.

Regardless, He desires that I take care of the only body, soul and spirit I get on this earth.

I realize some of you have irreversible conditions that will only recover with a God-given miracle. I’m not promising that all your health problems will go away. But we can all experience better wellbeing, and in doing so, we might see an improvement in being well, too!

Oftentimes, it’s a reduced intensity of a physical symptom, or an improved mindset, that gets us through the day.

I believe God wants each of us to do those things within our means to be healthy, such as eating good nutrition and getting exercise. He also wants us to occupy our minds with what is good and virtuous instead of what makes us feel defeated and discouraged.

By taking an active, educated part in our wellbeing, we will show God we’re willing to be responsible to take care of the resources He’s given to us and in us—that’s what personal stewardship is.

At the beginning of 2016 I started a self-improvement program that was so successful I’ve lost and kept off 50 pounds, have gone off of insulin (which doctors said would never happen after being on it so long at such a high dose), and have seen other major health benefits. I still have more weight to lose.

I had a couple years since then with health flares and weight-loss plateaus. Now I’m reevaluating where I’m at, and I wanted to share those questions with you, in case you are working to UPGRADE YOUR WELLBEING this year, too.

Questions I’m asking:

• What does optimal physical health look like for me, even if God doesn’t heal my “chronics”?
• What are “sure things” to help with physical health that are non-negotiables toward physical wellbeing? What have been my excuses for not taking care of these things?
• What are some other ideas that might help with progress?
• What will help me have the “want to”? How can I find joy in it?
• What can I reduce timewise in my schedule to give me more white space and energy to focus on wellbeing?
• What can I do to jumpstart my new dedication?
• What worked before that I can implement again? Why did I stop it? What can I do to make sure I keep with it this time?
• What worked before that I can’t do now? What can I substitute for it?
• What are my challenges to success?
• What would make me feel my best?

Questions to Ask Nightly

Think about your choices.

• How did today’s choices affect my spiritual wellbeing?
• How did today’s choices affect my emotional/psychological wellbeing?
• How did today’s choices affect my physical wellbeing?
• Did I honor and glorify God with my choices?
• Is there something I want to do better next time?
• Is there something I learned from today that will help me moving forward?

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence (2 Peter 1:3 NLT).

We may feel inadequate, unworthy or unprepared, but God will never abandon us where He leads us. His PRESENCE will be with us and His POWER will equip us.

This includes our focus on wellbeing.

God—with His divine power, which is superior to our insufficient human power—has given us everything we need to live a godly life of wellbeing.

What is God leading you to do as you upgrade your wellbeing efforts?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Her most recent book is 7 Trials Every Woman Faces. Kathy is active as a book industry pro, and her coaching group, WordGirls, propels women toward their writing goals. She graduated with honors from Bible College and has served 30+ years in full-time ministry. Check out her Grin & Grow Break video devotions on social media. For more about Kathy, visit www.kathycarltonwillis.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Spencer Davis at Unsplash.

Overcome the Longest Season

Susan K. Stewart has expertise in many areas, and in this Health UPGRADE, she deals with the problem of the "long season" of January 1st until Easter and how it affects so many of us.

“New Year’s Day to Easter is the longest part of the year," Susan says. "It doesn’t matter if Easter is early in March or late in April—it’s long.”

I (Dawn) don't think San Diegans are bothered much by the "long season," but I remember how I felt when I lived back in the Midwest. I remember being a bit depressed every February. Susan explains why that probably happened.

Susan continues . . .

Those were words of wisdom from my credential advisor in college, Dr. Anne Mitchell. Her other pearl was, “Don’t smile until Thanksgiving.”

Dr. Mitchell not only had experience teaching college, but also teaching elementary school. She knew about the ups and downs of classrooms from the front. Truth be told, though, I did catch her smiling once before Thanksgiving.

No matter the educational setting; I’ve found Dr. Mitchell’s maxims to be true. I didn’t understand the comment about the first months of a calendar year until I experienced it in a classroom. Later in our homeschool, the same phenomena held.

Those winter days dragged.

I tried impromptu snowball fights, backwards day, and let’s skip math day. Although these special, often unannounced times were fun in the moment, none relieved the day-to-day SLOG toward spring.

We know the seasons are ever-changing: spring to summer, summer to fall, fall to winter, winter to spring. God tells us in Genesis 8:22, “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.”

We know the dark days of winter will pass.

A couple of years into homeschooling, I started doing away with the classroom model of teaching. It wasn’t working for our family.

When our school schedule started to revolve more around our family schedule, I found ways to avoid the dragging winter days.

What is it about the winter months that makes them feel so long?

First, although the days are getting longer, they are still dark with clouds, fog, and storms. Even southern areas are darker.

Second, the dark and stormy days mean less sunshine.

God’s creativity is beyond our comprehension. When he created the sun, He provided more than light. He provided what is needed for plants to grow and humans to exist.

Our bodies respond positively to sunlight. Sunlight releases the “feel good” hormone serotonin in the brain.

Conversely, darkness release melatonin, which helps us sleep. Less sunshine, less feel-good juice running through our brains.

Third, we are not as physically active in the winter.

Even in southern states, the days are cold—too cold to be outside. Because we’re indoors, we sit.

Fourth, our sleep cycles can be disrupted.

As the sun goes down our bodies want to produce our sleep juice, melatonin. Instead, we turn on more lights. Our brain doesn’t know what to do, so it either stays awake or it tries to compensate with increased melatonin.

This increase can cause us to be sluggish during the day.

Finally, a result of being indoors is more screen time.

Even though we try to maintain a regular schedule for school, we aren’t coming and going as much. The substitute has become video games or “educational” programming.

Knowing what causes the long time between New Year and Easter helps us to take steps to brighten the days.

How to Overcome the Longest Season

1. Go Ahead and Get Outside.

Unless there’s a dangerous storm or below freezing temperatures, go outside a few minutes every day.

The clouds don’t stop all of the sun rays from getting through.

Some UV rays filter through the clouds allowing us to absorb some. Even though these beneficial rays are absorbed through the skin, even a few minutes on our faces is beneficial.

Watch the time outside as closely as in the summer. Although sunburn may not be a risk, frostbite could.

In areas where the temperatures can be below freezing, open the curtains wide. Allow as much light to come in as possible. Some families also find light therapy helpful as well. Special lamps can be set up to mimic the rays from the sun.

2. Move, Move, Move.

Let the little ones run in the house. Ask older kids to make up some exercises the whole family can do. Plan at least thirty minutes of movement three times a day.

Exercise not only helps release the endorphins to feel better, but the exercise is also good for heart and muscles. Some local gyms have programs for families to exercise together.

Help your homeschool group plan indoor park days with physical activity. Even walking around a museum or shopping mall is better than sitting.

3. Monitor Screen Time—Set Limits.

With online classes, our children are spending several hours each day in front of a screen.

Afterschool activities can include board games, puzzles, and round robin reading. A rousing game of charades is delightful for little ones as well as adults.

If you don’t want to totally turn off computers or TV, set a time limit. Do the same for yourself.

4. Lower Lights in the House as the Evening Comes On.

This will help maintain our natural sleep cycles. Turn off screens at least an hour before bedtime (those are sources of light as well).

Spend time recapping the day, reading a bedtime story, and enjoying bath time rather than rushing to get everyone in bed on time.

Bedtime is a good time to recall God’s word and recite Bible verses.

5. Be Flexible.

Maybe everyone needs to sleep a little longer in the morning.

Unless your child is in a school program that requires online time each day, go ahead and skip regular schooldays.

If one of the kids is struggling with a subject, set it aside for a couple weeks. It’s hard enough during the brighter days of spring, doubly hard when all of us have the winter humdrums.

Don’t slog your way through the long season at the beginning of the new year. Prepare for it, embrace it, and enjoy it.

What will you do today to brighten the winter months?

Susan K. Stewart, Nonfiction Managing Editor with Elk Lake Publishing Inc., teaches, writes, and edits nonfiction. Susan’s passion is to inspire readers with practical, real-world solutions. Her books include Science in the Kitchen, Preschool: At What Cost?, Harried Homeschoolers Handbook, and the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. Her latest book, Donkey Devos: Listening when God speaks, is scheduled to be released spring 2021. You can learn more at her website www.practicalinspirations.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of gamagapix at Pixabay.

Seven Gifts Hidden in the Shadow of Cancer

Joanie Shawhan knows how to introduce light into shadows. Diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she turned to the Lord for encouragement, and now she offers that same encouragement to others. In this Health and Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she offers a positive perspective for an otherwise difficult diagnosis.

Joanie asks, "How could anything good come from cancer?"

I (Dawn) asked myself that question when diagnosed with blood cancer. But then I read scriptures (1 Chronicles 16:34; Romans 8:28; James 1:17) about my good Father God, and I believed He could bring good from anything!

Joanie continues . . .

As an oncology nurse, I was familiar with the ravages of cancer and chemotherapy. But in 2006, ovarian cancer flung me to the other side of the bed.

I dutifully exchanged my nursing scrubs for peekaboo gowns and skid-free gripper socks. Instead of threading needles into the veins of my patients, machines pumped chemotherapy into my veins.

Chemotherapy pummeled my body, and I didn’t think I would survive the next hour, the next minute. But somewhere in the midst of this devastation and beyond, God surprised me with an overriding sense of His grace and showered me with gifts, hidden in the shadow of cancer.

Seven Gifts Hidden in the Shadow of Cancer

1. Family and Friends

I experienced the love and support of many people who prayed with and for me.

They:

• provided meals,
• comforted me,
• sat with me during tests,
• helped me select wigs,
• and provided rides to chemotherapy.

Well-wishers sent cards, gifts, and flowers, reminding me I was not forgotten.

2. Rest

I could do nothing, absolutely nothing, for several days following chemotherapy.

I wasn’t only physically and mentally impaired, but I also felt spiritually impaired, unable to focus to read my Bible or pray.

But God only asked that I rest like a child in His arms—the arms of a loving Father—and allow Him to carry me through this trial.

3. Laughter

While I lay in the hospital bed with my finger poised over the pain medication button, my sister surfed the internet for wigs, hats, and scarves.

“We have to make this fun,” she said.

Fun? Where was sisterly commiseration?

But she was right. Shopping for wigs and hats was fun. I laughed as I tied scarves that turned askew on my bald head and morphed into pirate patches. Books and humorous cards buoyed my spirits.

4. New Friends

Nine years after my diagnosis, I finally met other ovarian cancer survivors at an ovarian cancer camp:  Camp-Make-A-Dream, in Missoula, Montana.

Eventually I connected with local survivors. We meet monthly for lunch and plan social outings and fundraisers for ovarian cancer. We are . . .

"The Fried Eggs — Sunny-Side Up."

5. Empathy

As a nurse, I felt sympathy for my cancer patients, but I never really understood the struggle of living in the world of cancer.

But now as a survivor, I experience this unspoken bond, a glance that says it all. I KNOW.

6. Gratitude

I am thankful for God’s faithfulness through the many trials in my life, including cancer. He has brought me out on the other side.

I am cancer-free.

7. New Direction and Purpose

I wrote the book, In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer, to help other women struggling with a cancer diagnosis. I included my ovarian cancer story and the stories of other women surviving cancer as well as helpful tips.

I also write encouraging articles for women undergoing chemotherapy.

Along with other survivors, I share my ovarian cancer story with medical students in the Survivors Teaching Students program, hoping that earlier detection will save women’s lives.

God gives many gifts, sometimes hidden, but always a blessing.

If you, imperfect as you are, know how to lovingly take care of your children and give them what’s best, how much more ready is your heavenly Father to give wonderful gifts to those who ask him? (Matthew 7:11 TPT)

What hidden gifts have you received from the Lord when you were going through a difficult season?

Joanie Shawhan is an ovarian cancer survivor, registered nurse, speaker, Selah Awards Finalist for In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer, and radio and television guest. Contact Joanie on her website for more information.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Harry Strauss (Image4U) at Pixabay.

A Christian Response to Suicide

Note: This article is run to coincide with National Suicide Prevention Month—September 2019. If you or someone youi know is in an emergency, call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or call 911 immediately.

Susan K. Stewart offers practical solutions to real-world problems. In this special Health UPGRADE, she encourages people to take a biblical view of a tough issue: suicide.

"'I tried to hang myself.'

"Shock does not convey my feelings," Susan says, "when my son spoke these words over the phone."

I (Dawn) recently tried to help a neighbor whose nephew took his own life. As I shared words of hope with my neighbor and her sister, I saw first-hand the deep, stigmatized pain in those left behind. I'm grateful for people like Susan who help us understand positive, biblical ways to address suicide and encourage others.

Susan continues . . .

I am the one in the family who remains calm during a crisis, falling apart afterwards. I tried to sound calm and collected. All I could manage “Why did you do that?”

This scene came flooding back when I heard over the phone just days ago, “Judy committed suicide.”

The family member who called went on to explain the circumstances, but I didn’t hear. My mind was back twenty years when I received the call from my son.

The shock of the news; the relief my son was still alive.

While I was processing the memory, the caller made another statement that gave me pause: “She was so religious. I didn’t think she’d ever do something like this.”

Yes, our loved one was a Christian. Yes, she did rely on God. Yes, she took her own life. Does that mean she wasn’t a “true” Christian? Does that mean she missed out on eternal life?

Why is it non-believers think believers won’t end their lives?

Why will some Christians condemn Judy for taking her life and also my son for attempting?

The church I grew up in taught suicide was an unforgivable sin because it is the taking of a life, murder, for which the person is unable to seek forgiveness. I couldn’t reconcile the love of Jesus with the shunning of families whose loved one had died at their own hand.

I later learned the only unpardonable sin is the blasphemy or, as it is translated in The Message, “when you reject the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 12:31). Total rejection of God.

If some churches teach the taking on one’s life is unpardonable, no wonder those outside the church think someone who is “religious” would not do such a thing. Why would a Christian do a such thing and not be able to be forgiven?

In Judy’s case, physical pain was so overwhelming even the heavy doses of narcotic prescriptions couldn’t overcome it. Her physical pain caused emotional and mental pain for which she was seeking relief.

What can we do to help believers and non-believers through the tragedy of suicide without guilt or condemnation?

1. Treat the family of a suicide victim as we would any other family grieving.

Prepare meals, offer to sit silently, pray with them, offer a comforting memorial service.

This family is facing a double burden:

• grieving the loss of a loved one, and
• reconciling the act itself.

They may be dealing with the belief their loved one committed an unforgiveable sin.

2. Understand the unique nature of the death.

Suicide is different than other deaths because of misunderstandings and stigma attached. The family members may be embarrassed or angry with themselves for not recognizing the classic signs.

Some families do not want the suicide revealed. While this sets up a veil of secrecy, which in itself may be destructive, we need to be respectful of their wishes.

3. Walk through the process

Immediately following the death, a police report will be taken. Family members and friends will be interviewed.

Having someone sit in support during this process takes the sting away.

Most cases of a suicide require an autopsy will be performed. Sometimes this process can take more than a month. There will be no body to bury for a long while. For some, this is an added burden to the grief.

Often not considered is clean up. Often that clean up will be the task of the family … an unbearable task. Someone may be needed to handle the details.

If the death is in the home, immediate family may need some place to stay. The offer of a quiet bedroom or a place for children to be comfortable may be welcome and better than staying in a hotel.

4. Help find support in the following weeks and months

Death by suicide isn’t ordinary. The grief is different.

Yes, loved ones will go through the various stages, but they may get stuck in the anger stage. Anger at themselves as well as their loved one.

Unanswerable questions are asked. Loved ones need the support of those who have walked the road. If a local group isn’t available, individual support may be needed.

I’m thankful my son’s attempt to take his life was unsuccessful. Although it was painful, the experience changed me.

"As God has comforted me, I am able to comfort others" (2 Cor. 1:3-4).

It isn’t necessary to have experienced a loved one’s suicide to help.

• Learn how to help.
• Speak to church leaders.
• Seek God.
• If called, step out in faith.

What would God have you do to support those grieving a loss from suicide?

Susan K. Stewart, Acquisition Editor with Elk Lak Publishing, is a teacher, writer, and speaker known for practical solutions to real-world situations. Her books include Harried Homeschooler’s Handbook: Finding Hope in the Havoc, Preschool: At What Cost?, Science in the Kitchen: Fearless Science at Home for All Ages, the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. She brings her inspiring and encouraging messages to online and in-person conferences about homeschooling, writing, and editing. The Stewarts live in Central Texas with their three dogs, three cats, nine chickens, and a couple of donkeys. They have three children and six grandchildren. You can read more of Susan’s practical solutions at www.practicalinspirations.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesty of Richard Mcall at Pixabay.