Alike, But Opposite

Peggy Leslie, a Bible teacher, speaker and author, is first and foremost a Christian, wife and mom. It’s her “mom” role I wanted her to write about here, in a special Parenting UPGRADE.

“'Opposites' are supposed to be two different things. Right? So, how,” she asks, “did I get five opposites in my five children?”

Some years ago, Peggy told me (Dawn) about her special times of interceding for these five “opposites.” I loved it and asked her to share with UPGRADE readers.

Peggy continues . . .

Our first three children were born in less than three years. Even before the first reached kindergarten, I observed that from the beginning each one, though in many ways like the others, was different from his or her siblings.

Karen, our firstborn, had a beautiful Sunshine Girl smile and could be very entertaining. Yet overall she was somewhat reserved, definitely not a chatterer.

Chuck, on the other hand, was one of those outgoing children who never met a stranger. We said he was “born talking.”

Scott was the observant one and the one most likely to share deep feelings. One day little Scottie came to me and said, “Mommy, I feel sad.” None of the others ever did that voluntarily.  

The differences continued as Kate (the sweet little “ham” and born teacher) and April (the sensitive musician) came along.

In the beginning I knew nothing about studies on temperaments, A-B-C-D “types,” or birth-order. But as I observed—and dealt with—each child’s idiosyncrasies, I concluded that to a point, each of my children was “born that way.” 

God had designed each one with a unique, inborn make-up that Gene and I needed to recognize.  

Here are a few things I learned along the way—some of which I wish I’d figured out sooner!

1. Pray, pray, PRAY to know how to “Train up your child in the way he should go . . . " (Proverbs 22:6)—which will usually be quite different from his siblings!

Gene and I have always prayed for our children, but for a long time in a kind of haphazard way, and usually individually. Many years ago, we came up with a plan. We call it SPD—Special Prayer Day.

With seven in the family, each gets his or her own SPD (Sunday: Gene; Monday: Karen ....; Saturday: me). On that day, I usually contact that one by phone call, text or email and ask, “Do you have any SPRs [Special Prayer Requests] today?”

I cannot count the number of blessings and answers and special moments that has brought to our family.  

Come up with you own plan. Just be sure to pray!

2. Observe each child so you’ll recognize differences and know the way that one should go.

3. Celebrate each one’s uniqueness.

Don’t try to force one into an area he’s not good at (sports, music, drama, etc.).

Don't expect, or try to make, one child like another one.

4. Encourage talents or skills God put there by providing ways to enhance them (sports sign-ups, music lessons, etc.).

5. Discipline when a child uses those talents and skills in inappropriate ways.

To me, those last two hints envelope the meaning of Ephesians 6:4b: ...bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

6. Pray. It bears repeating!

Do you rejoice that your children are alike, but opposite? How do you pray for them?

Peggy Leslie is a long-time Bible teacher and international speaker. She and her husband Gene, married 51 years, are the parents of five grown children. They love to spend time with their 12 grandchildren and are blessed to have all of them living in San Diego County. She and co-author Donna Jeremiah have published two Christian mystery novels: Storm over Coronado and Intrigue in Coronado.

Friendship Praying

Rhonda Rhea is known for her humor, but I also appreciate her practical leadership and encouragement. In this Relationship UPGRADE, she touches on one important way to strengthen our friendships.

“Ever feel lonely? You’re ‘not alone,’ as it were, in feeling alone,” Rhonda said. “It’s amazing how so many can know a gazillion people—yet still experience a devastating loneliness. Prayer can change that.”

I (Dawn) know the Word of God encourages us to make “supplication” for “all the saints” (Ephesians 6:18) and “for all people” (1 Timothy 2:1), and this certainly applies to praying for our friends. So many scriptures about prayer can be applied to our friendships, and especially to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Try it!

Rhonda continues . . .

The truth is, we need each other.

We need to pray for each other. We need to pray for our friends!

Here are some “ifs” for friendship praying:

1. If you’re experience smothering loneliness:

• Ask the Lord to send you a “breath of fresh air” kind of friend.
• Ask Him to help you become someone else’s breath of fresh air as well.

2. If you’ve been wounded in a friendship:

• Ask the Lord to give you the ability to forgive and to help you move forward and trust again.

3. If you’re not already:

Ask the Lord to give you courage to become proactive in making and maintaining friendships.

4. If you have at least one close friend:

• Thank the Lord for the amazing blessing she is.
• Ask Him to make you a blessing to her.
• Ask Him to give each of you wisdom in honoring Him through the friendship.

Which of these “if” prayers could make the biggest difference in your friendships today?

Rhonda Rhea is a humor columnist, radio personality, speaker and author of 10 books, including How Many Lightbulbs Does It Take to Change a Person?, Espresso Your Faith - 30 Shots of God's Word to Wake You Up, and a book designed to encourage Pastor's Wives (P-Dubs): Join the Insanity. Rhonda, a sunny pastor's wife, lives near St. Louis and is "Mom" to five grown children. Find out more at www.RhondaRhea.com.

Post adapted from Rhonda’s book, Join the Insanity: Crazy-Fun Life in the Pastors' Wives Club.

Graphic adapted—Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

America, It's Time to Pray: 'SOS, Jesus!'

Stacie Stoelting is a Jesus-focused patriot who, with her sister, is on a mission to call America back to God. I thought she’d be perfect to share a special Holiday UPGRADE for the 4^th of July!

“Fireworks on the Fourth of July always get me excited,” Stacie writes. “I’m like a little kid about it! People around me always hear, ‘Oooh! Aaah!’ I just can’t help it.”

I (Dawn) love to join my family at July 4^th celebrations too. It’s our privilege as free Americans. But Stacie encourages us to think about something else as we watch those fireworks.

She continues …

I’m a diehard patriot who still gets thrilled by the concepts of Independence Day.

But God Himself excites me more than anyone or anything else. And I believe that my fellow Christians and I need more “fire to do the works” of God.

We need simple prayer. Pure prayer. Prayer with a purpose to know and praise God Himself. I feel inspired when I read passages like Hosea 6:3 (NLT):

“Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.”

When we feel depressed, we must choose faith and “press on” to know him. He will respond. We need only to pray –even if all we can muster are extra short prayers.

Recently, I prayed hard from my heart. In a moment of high stress, I simply prayed, “SOS, Jesus!” He helped me as only He could! And later it hit me: That’s what Christians in America need to pray.

As we observe Independence Day, America needs to declare independence from sins and pray, “SOS, Jesus!”

Our population suffers from being over-programmed and “under-prayed.” In America, there is: 

• so much stress and so little happiness;
• so many activities, yet so many lonely families;
• so many fears and so little faith.

Yes, in America’s churches, we see more flashy ads and less Spirit-led fire.

In addition to simply praying from the heart—a prayer like “SOS, Jesus!”—this SOS acronym can also help:

S: Stop sin. We need to stop the “facades for God” and be ourselves while praying hard from the heart.

As Billy Graham once said, "We must repent of our prayerlessness. We must make prayer our priority. Even our churches today have gotten away from prayer meetings."

O: Open your heart to Jesus as Savior and Lord. (If you haven’t done so, click here to learn more about how to know God personally.) Be willing to do His will.

No prayer substitute exists. Nowhere in the Scripture do we see a Christ follower told to “do more” and pray less. The essence of prayer is to come into God’s presence.

S: Start believing and praising God. Practice child-like faith.

I believe that the fireworks of faith in America can be revived because of one simple fact: Jesus remains alive. We must erase sin and chase after Jesus.

Yes, it’s as simple as SOS: Stop sin. Open your heart to Jesus. Start believing and praising Him in private and in public. Remember that we will "...see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory" (Mark 13:26). Hallelujah!

The next time you notice our country’s symbolic bald eagle, be reminded that “…they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31, ESV).

Yes, let us “wait for the Lord” and “press on to know Him” – depending on Him for the fire to do His works in America and beyond!

Are you asking God for the “fire to do His works”? What would that look like in your life, if the fire fell?

Stacie Ruth Stoelting and her sister, Carrie Beth Stoelting, are recording artists and authors of the book Unite the USA, recently endorsed by Mike Huckabee, Pat Boone, Rick Santorum (Patriot Voices), Tony Perkins (Family Research Counsel), and Mathew Staver (Liberty Counsel). Learn more about their Christ-focused, patriotic mission at UnitetheUSA.org and join their prayer group here. 

Graphic in text, adapted: Image courtesy of nirots / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Importance of Forgiveness and Prayer

Renee Fisher, who started out as a voice for 20-somethings, now writes material that can move all of the Body of Christ to action. The following is an excerpt from her new book on forgiveness - UPGRADE material for not only our emotions, but also our walk with God.

"Prayer must accompany forgiveness," Johnson said. "Have you ever felt like Jesus can't hear you, and for whatever reason the crowds of this life try to choke you and keep you from crying out?"

Ummm, yes. Been there, Renee.

She continues ...

In these times, remember this:

Anguish leads to a powerful prayer life.

Don’t let Satan make you believe otherwise. When Jesus finally heard the blind man he stopped. Yes, that’s right. He looked right into his eyes - which could not yet see - and asked the man, “What do you want me to do for you?”

As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him.

When he came near, Jesus asked him,  “What do you want me to do for you?”

“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.

Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God (Luke 18:35, 40-43).

What a powerful question. Thankfully this man didn’t hesitate. Instead of telling Jesus his sob story or trying to explain the reasons why he was blind, he simply asked.

You can do that too.

You can just ask.

We have that ability through the power of prayer.

In One Year Alone with God, Ava Pennington writes, “Intercessory prayer causes us to look beyond our interests as we become aware of the needs and burdens of others. . . Intercessory prayer is critical if we are having difficulty forgiving someone else. It is almost impossible to stay angry with a person when we ask God to help us see them through His perspective, and pray for Him to bless them abundantly!”

We might think prayer helps change God or speed up the process of healing, but in fact, it changes you!

Just like the blind man, we need more than just physical healing. We need to see God and experience His forgiveness!

Have you ever experienced the presence of God through the power of prayer as you ask Him to help you forgive? Why or why not?

(Adapted from Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me, © 2013 Harvest House Publishers.)

Renee Fisher, the Devotional Diva®, is the spirited speaker and author of four books including Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me. A graduate of Biola University, Renee’s mission in life is to “spur others forward” (Hebrews 10:24) using the lessons learned from her own trials to encourage others in their walk with God. Learn more about Renee at DevotionalDiva.com and ForgivingMe.com. 

Hurry to Pause

I first met Debbie Harris in a revival ministry, and clearly, she still loves to see women come alive with God’s Word. She shares three ways to slow down and find strength in the Lord.

“It is true I spend more time “doing my day” than “reflecting on my day,” Harris said. "Hurrying seems to come naturally.”

She continues …

I have certain tasks to perform, deadlines to meet, phone calls to make, a job to do, a meeting to make, kids to care for, friends to respond to, food to prepare, clothes to wash, a ministry to maintain and the list goes on.

A scripture that motivates me is Isaiah 30:15b: “… In quietness and trust is your strength.’ But you were not willing.”

“Quiet” does not happen on its own in this busy loud world. Quiet only happens when I intentionally step out of the fast lane with the express purpose of pausing life.

Pause to PRAY. 

I have learned at square “52” on my journey that it is unwise to get out of bed without pausing to pray, and perhaps that is why I list it first!

Prayer is how I start and end my day and what I find myself doing all day! Jesus is the only One who is available to me 24/7. He never tells me He is too busy, and I don’t have to make an appointment in advance; He is always there and with the promise He will never leave! We do life together, and since learning how interested He is in my life, we are the very best of friends! 

Pause to PONDER.  

The best thing to ponder is God’s Word. I have a verse journal, as my Christmas gift to Jesus this year, with the goal of 365 verses washing over me—collecting one per day.

Dr. David Jeremiah says,

“We don’t need the Bible in our hands; we need the Bible in our hearts!”

My purpose as I ponder each verse is that it comes off the shelf, embeds itself in my heart, and comes out in my behavior for my good and God’s glory.

Pause to PEN.

I love to journal. I learn things about myself, God and life that I don’t seem to catch any other way. I often don’t know what I am going to write when I grab my journal, but it is always a reflective time. I write verses God has pointed out so I can find them again, make lists of things I am praying for, write where I have already been and where I plan to go, collect quotes and write or copy poems.

I ask God for certain things—and put a box by them so I can return later to check them off—or write things God is nudging me to do. And I praise God for all that He is and does in this life on my way to Him. My favorite part is harvesting the journal. I am always amazed as I look back and trace God’s hand in my life through the pages of my own journal!

Oswald Chambers wrote, “I am here not to realize myself, but to know Jesus.” I want to know Jesus through the Word better than I know anything else. Pausing throughout my day will push me toward that goal.

God help me to “hurry to pause.”

How do you pause in your day to step out of the fast lane and seek God?

Debbie Harris is married to the Men’s Pastor at Shadow Mountain Community Church in southern California. She and Ben have six children and three grandchildren. She loves God, family, women and the Word.  Debbie assists her husband in various ministries, disciples women, and will begin her seventh year teaching a Precept class this fall. She prays for women to come who “don’t want to be in a Bible study” and women who “don’t know they want to be in a Bible study,” and she has found the thrill of mining diligently through the Word contagious!