6 Ways to Grin When You'd Rather Grit Your Teeth!

I met Kathy Carlton Willis at a writer's conference and was so impressed with her life, not just her teaching. She shines for Jesus! And in this Attitude UPGRADE, she shares one way we reflect God's light  too.

"Most of us deal with situations that make us want to grit our teeth on a regular basis. Or at least bite our tongues!" Kathy says. "Here are six ways you can grin with grace instead."

I (Dawn) have watched Kathy endure trial after trial over the past several years and noticed how she smiles despite the circumstances. So I’m curious how she’s learned to grin with grace instead of grimace—which is our natural human tendency. Let’s see what she has to say.

Kathy continues . . .

As I sat down to write this piece for you, I started out as an “expert.” I’m the Grin with Grace gal. I’ve studied all the grace words in the Bible. Written a book. Put together a script and performed a 7-session DVD. I should know it all when it comes to grinning with grace, right?

But before I could even organize my thoughts for this article, I received a note that derailed me. Someone cancelling a commitment with almost no notice for me to come up with Plan B. And two days ago the surgeon told me I needed surgery. So I should be doing less, not more. Here’s a perfect opportunity for me to live what I teach—am I really going to grin with grace in this situation?

What often works for me is to laugh. Yes, laugh! It releases negative energy and helps me develop a healthy perspective on the situation. It acknowledges that the problem itself stinks, but it’s not the end of the world.

It’s temporary. I’ll get past this.

And who knows, the outcome might be even better because sometimes my Plan B is God’s Plan A all along.

So I want to share with you some of the words I found in Scripture that partner with grace to help us through life’s messes. And I’m certainly an expert in that—I tend to get in a lot of messes. Some of my own making. Some that I trip into backwards, never seeing the puddle before it’s too late.

Grace partners with glory, peace, mercy, kindness, eternal comfort, and wonderful hope. Each pairing is a vital life partnership.

How do we grow these virtues in our lives so that we’re prepared when a Life Mess happens? Oh—and it’s gonna’ happen!

#1 – Mercy

"Grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God the Father and from Jesus Christ—the Son of the Father—will continue to be with us who live in truth and love" (2 John 1:3 NLT).

Ask yourself these questions:

• How do I acquire God’s mercy in my life?
• Do I need to remind myself that it’s there for my everyday needs and not just for my salvation?
• How does tapping into God’s mercy in my life help me grow closer to Him?
• How does it empower me to provide mercy to others even when I don’t feel like it?

When you pair mercy with grace, you’re equipping yourself to grin despite the life mess going on around you.

#2 – Love 

(See 2 John 1:3.) Love is like a spring—it must continue to circulate. New love coming in (from God, from others, from self), and your love flowing out. If love doesn’t circulate, it stagnates.

How is love at work in your life right now, and how does it help you receive and deliver God’s grace? 

#3 – Truth

(See 2 John 1:3.) These six virtues that pair so well with grace aren’t merely self-help strategies. They are built on a foundation of truth. God’s Word is truth.

How can you know truth and trust truth more in your Christian walk now than before? Why is truth necessary to help you grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord?

#4 – Peace

"May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace" (1 Corinthians 1:3 NLT).

Peace seems to elude us when we need it most. Like in the middle of a Life Mess.

Why do we find it so difficult to experience God’s peace? What gets in the way of peace—worry, doubt, confusion, or chaos? All of these? How can you convince your heart and mind to believe the message of peace and receive its calm assurance? 

#5 – Comfort

"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope" (2 Thessalonians 2:16 NLT).

Jesus knows us well enough to know we need a Comforter—and that is why He promised not to leave us comfortless. It’s human nature to need the soothing reassurance of a nurturing presence, especially in the middle of a Life Mess.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Are there any areas in my life right now where I could use some extra comfort?
• What best helps me experience the soothing comfort of God’s grace?
• Does anything blind me from seeing the comfort He sends or hinder me from receiving it?

#6 – Hope

(See 2 Thessalonians 2:16.) Hope is vitally important to help us through our days. Even days filled with blessings still need hope . . . but those days filled with trials . . . I don’t need to explain why we need hope during our Life Messes!

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I tend to be a skeptical person or a hope-filled person?
• What sort of light at the end of the tunnel has helped me hold on to hope?
• What happens when I’m paralyzed in a funk of dark clouds, with no sign of light?
• How can I find hope enough for even those no-sign-of-light days?

In music, grace notes are melodic and compliment the rest of the musical score. All these traits that pair well with grace are like the harmony parts, but grace is the key. Play the musical notes of these six virtues, add in God’s grace notes, and see what song develops.

If that doesn’t make you grin with grace, it’s time for you to check your heart to make sure it’s still beating!

Which of these six virtues might help you grin when you'd rather grit your teeth?

Kathy Carlton Willis writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Not many funny girls also have Bible degrees! Kathy’s a pastor’s wife, which gives her plenty of opportunities to grin with grace. She shines the light on issues that hold women back and inspires their own lightbulb moments. Almost a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published in books, magazines, newspapers and online publications. Visit her website, and check out her latest project, the Grin with Grace Bible Study, published by AMG Publishers.

Article: ©2015, Modified Excerpt from Grin with Grace, AMG Publishers.

Graphic adapted: Image courtesy of Feelart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

A Two-Handled Handle on Truth

Pam Farrel offers a Graduation UPGRADE to help parents prepare students for life success with a two-handled "Handle on Truth." She begins with this formula:

God math: PLANT God’s Word + WATER with prayer = GROWTH of SUCCESS in Life!

I (Dawn) think that sounds like a good formula for success for anyone!

Pam continues . . .

In our book, 10 Best Decisions a Grad Can Make, we walk a grad through a simple process of PLANTing and WATERing God’s Truth in his or her life.

When we PLANT and WATER the seed of God’s Word in our heart, the Holy Spirit can get our attention and guide our future.  

The Spirit’s ability to lead and influence our lives is fed by our interaction of the Truth of God’s Word. It is like a seed that starts out small, but under the right conditions it will grow to be the key to future success.

(1) PLANT God’s Word into your life consistently.

P is for PROBE. Probing is a process.

Be “a worker … who correctly handles the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15).

This is the process of studying God’s Word so it makes sense to us. A simple way to have a quiet time would be Learning to use your VOWELS:

A pastor’s wife, who is a friend of mine, shared a simple system she learned from the Navigators while she was a student in college. It’s as easy as saying your vowels: A, E, I, O, U:

A—Ask questions. Read the verse and see if you can come up with 10 questions to ask of the text.

E—Emphasize. Find definitions for key words; look up meaning of key phrases. (You will need a dictionary or a Bible dictionary, and maybe a Bible Encyclopedia.)

I—In your own words. Rewrite a paraphrase of the verse or at least a piece of the passage into your own words.

O—Other references. Use cross-references to lead you to other verses, and/or use commentaries.

U—You! Choose a personal application. The sooner you can apply the verse the better!

L is for LISTEN. Yes, listen!

“Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17).  

Hearing other people teach the Bible and relate how it is affecting their lives encourages growth in all of us.

A is for ACQUAINT. Acquaint yourself with scripture.

“He is to read it all the days of his life” (Deuteronomy 17:19).

There is no substitute for reading God’s Word consistently. Even a verse a day will help root a life in Christ.

N is for NAIL. Nail it down.

“I have hidden your word in my heart” (Psalm 119:11).

Post favorite verses on the mirror of your bathroom or listen to praise music for easy memorizing.

T is for THINK. Think it over.

"Blessed is the one … who meditates on [God’s] law day and night” (Psalm 1:2).

Ask questions to apply The Word: “How do I live this out?" and "How does this apply to my life?”

Bill and Pam Farrel's three strong and godly graduates!

(2) WATER your relationship with God through prayer.

W is for WAIT. Wait for God.

“The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children” (Romans 8:16).

Listen by saying, “God, you go first,” and then assume the thoughts that come to mind are what God wants to talk to you about.

A is for ACKNOWLEDGE. Acknowledge your sin to God.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).

T is for THANK. Thank God!

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

E is for EXALT. Exalt God!

“Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name” (Psalm 103:1).

R is for REQUEST. Request of God.

“In every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6).

PLANTing and WATERing God’s Word ensures a life UPGRADE—that “future and a hope” for our launching kids—and ourselves!

“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:11, NIV).

Remember: God math: PLANT God’s Word + WATER with prayer = GROWTH of SUCCESS in Life!

Do you need to do some planting? Some watering?

Pam Farrel and her husband Bill are international speakers and the authors of 40 books on marriage, family and parenting including 10 Best Decisions a Grad Can Make and 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make. The Freshman Foundation is also an interactive set of dinner and dialogue questions to prepare a grad for college. Visit www.Love-wise.com.

Graphic adapted: Image courtesy of Keerati at FreeDigitalPhotos.net. 

What Is Your 'Sack Lunch'?

Paula Hendricks is a young woman with a tremendous amount of insight about things that truly matter. I asked her to share this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE.

“A few years ago, I sensed God prompting me to give away a very large sum of money,” Paula said. “I did so joyfully and thought there wasn’t anything more God could possibly ask for after that.”

Oh yes. God does ask for more. And I (Dawn) am often surprised by what He asks for. He knows exactly what to ask for.

Paula continues . . .

Almost immediately, though, God laid His finger on my favorite dress—the maxi dress that pooled at my feet and made me feel tall, slender, and beautiful.

I cried.

Somehow, unbeknownst to me, that dress had wormed its way into my affections and become precious! (Definitely a warning sign.)

So I bargained with God. The dress was His, but He’d have to clearly let me know who to give it to. A month passed, and then I sensed God nudging me that it was time to give it away, and who to give it to.

It happened while the preacher was talking about how that little boy gave his sack lunch to Jesus and how Jesus multiplied it exorbitantly. 

The preacher asked if we would give our “sack lunch” to Jesus.

Right away, I knew my “sack lunch” was my beautiful maxi dress. And I was to give it to the widow beside me, who was just as tall and thin as me and needed clothes.

Trembling, I went home and put my dress in a bag. I knew if I didn’t obey right away, I would come up with excuses. That evening, I gave away my dress.

Unlike the month before when I gave a much larger gift to God, I didn’t feel giddy and happy this time. But I felt I’d obeyed.

A few weeks later, as I was pulling out my fall and winter clothes, I asked God, “Would you provide me with some new clothes? I’ve had these for years, and they’re so drab. I know I don’t need new clothes, and I should be thankful for these, but . . .”

The next morning, I received an email from a friend. She had two bags of clothes for me in her car. I went out to the car expecting to find two plastic grocery bags full. Instead, I found two bulging trash bags full of clothes! 

And not just any clothes. Clothes with tags still on them. Name brand clothes. Stylish clothes. Clothes that—for the most part—fit!

It was such an overwhelming reminder that I can never out-give God. He is the over-the-top generous One.

And I’m not the only person who’s experienced this. Years ago, a woman named Hannah wanted a baby so bad she vowed that if God would give her a son, she would give him back to the Lord all the days of his life. And that’s exactly what happened. God gave her a son, and she brought him to the temple to serve God there. Sounds devastatingly hard, right? But then . . . God blessed her with three more sons and two more daughters (1 Sam. 2:21)! He’s just amazing like that. 

I tell you all this not to encourage you to give away your clothes so you’ll get new ones. I tell you this to encourage you to obey God. Even if what He’s asking hurts. Even if He’s asking for that most treasured ____.

He’s not a stingy, miserly God. If you will obey Him, He will bless you beyond your wildest imagination!

Anyone else have a “sack lunch” story you want to share?

Paula Hendricks graduated from the Moody Bible Institute in 2005 with a degree in Print Communication. Two weeks later, she began working at Revive Our Hearts, where she currently serves as Writing and Editorial Manager. Her first book is Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl. When Paula isn’t blogging, you’ll find her hanging out with people, indulging her insatiable curiosity by asking lots of questions. 

This post is adapted from “My Sack Lunch” at Lies Young Women Believe. 

How to Keep Steady in Your Walk with God

I met Teri Thompson in a ministry that cares deeply about equipping and encouraging women, and this is Teri's heartbeat, for sure. I asked her to write a Spiritual Life UPGRADE.

"Would you ever be tempted to purchase a dining table with only three legs?" Teri said. "What if it was a beautiful, one-of-a-kind table . . . with one exception? That silly leg is missing! I doubt you would buy it."

While I (Dawn) have bought many garage sale items I later regretted, I don't think I'd ever buy a three-legged dining table. But there's something just as absurd, as Teri points out.

Teri continues . . .

There isn’t a three legged table I know of that is sturdy enough to handle the pressure of anything weighty being placed upon it! The missing leg makes the crippled table—no matter how beautiful it was in mint condition—unstable.

Our spiritual life can be compared to a four-legged table.

If we have four major spiritual disciplines operating on an ongoing basis our faith is strong, our joy is evident and the peace that passes all understanding anchors us to the Rock of our faith. But when just one or more of those disciplines is lacking, our spiritual life fluctuates, faith diminishes, discontentment sets in and peace is replaced with nagging worry and joy flees as a frown sits upon our brow.

We all know believers like that. You have seen them haven’t you? You would never be able to tell by their demeanor and their stern facial expressions that they were heaven bound!

I have seen those serious, worn, worried Christians. They are not fun. And I hate to admit it, but at times I have been that Christian.

God’s Word has an answer for every dilemma. We can find the solution to joyful steady plodding in our walk with God right there in scripture!

Peel your bible pages back to Acts 2:42. In this meaty section of scripture, God gives instruction to the New Testament Church as to how they were to operate. If we believe we are the church, then we can assume this instruction also pertains to the individual believer.

Right there in Acts, we see God calling His people to practice four spiritual disciplines. We could visualize these as “the four legs of a table.”

Scripture says,

“They continued steadfastly in the apostle’s doctrine (which is God’s Word) and fellowship, in breaking of bread (worship) and in prayer” (Acts 2:42 NKJ).

Do you see it?

• God's Word
• Fellowship
• Worship
• Prayer

If we take just one of these disciplines out of our daily life, it doesn’t take long before life’s pressures bear down upon us, causing instability. We become weak and the peace we were meant to live in is gone.

What is it that has made you uneasy lately? Has a “people problem” drained you of your last bit of heavenly joy? Did that recent news rob you of all peace?

When was the last time you positioned your heart low enough before the God of heaven in prayer, not coming unto Him with a need’s list but just to commune with Him because He is worthy to be worshipped? Is time alone in God’s Word a common practice? Hungry souls sit at a distance from the mercy seat of God!

If we will avail ourselves to these four spiritual disciplines God has given us in His Word, we will not be promised a perfect life, or a trial-free life. Frankly, that would be unscriptural. But we will invite the joy-filled, abundant life that God had intended for us to live!

Which of these four disciplines is weak in your life today? Isn't it time to prop up and strengthen your "spiritual table"?

Teri Thompson lives in Bakersfield, California, with her wonderful husband, Brad—happily married 32 years—and has three grown children and seven adorable grandchildren. Teri loves to teach the Word of God to women and watch it wonderfully transform their lives. She is the Women’s Ministry Director at Crossroads Christian Fellowship, Director for the Kern County Women’s Conference and the President of NEWIM Kern County. Teri has taught and written weekly Bible Studies for many years and speaks at various women’s retreats and events. Her “Ephesians” Bible study is available here.    

From Glance to Gaze

Brittany Van Ryn has a heart for God that is fresh and pure. I asked her to share a Spiritual UPGRADE, and she is helping us consider something very special about the Lord.      

"Sunsets. Ocean. Mountains. Parakeets. Purple Cabbage. Bugs. Nudibranches. Galaxies. Algae. Teeth. That short but diverse list contains ten fascinating works created by the Lord God," says Brittany. "How much do you know about them?"

When I (Dawn) look around me at the handiwork of God, I cannot help but be drawn to Him. (I smile at His sense of humor when I look at the colorful "nudibranch" in the photo, above.) As Job said, "[God] does great things past finding out. Yes, wonders without number" (Job 9:10). I'm so glad my creative friend, Brittany, is encouraging us to look Godward . . . to our great Creator.

Brittany continues . . .

Some probably gross you out for various reasons; others may make you smile—or are PART of your smile. Some may have caused you to marvel at their grandiose vastness, still others at their intricate detail.

But you know what happens most of the time? More often than not, we neglect to even take a moment to look up and admire the clouds, or we apply eye shadow, forgetting that our eyes automatically blink to keep from drying out.

We complacently ignore our Creator’s handiwork, which ultimately turns our hearts away from Him.

Let me prove it to you.

One of the very first things we learn about the Lord God is that He is the Creator, and, as such, is foundational in our understanding of Who He is. God could have introduced Himself in a myriad of ways, but He wanted us to start with an understanding of His ability to make something out of nothing.

It is the lens through which we look at every other aspect of His character. It’s almost as if He wanted us to know that His love has an infinite number of ways to be shown, or that His name, Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides, means that taking care of our needs is not always in ways that we expect because He is a better Idea Generator on how to meet needs that we could ever be.

When we take the time to see Him as Creator, we learn that He does NOTHING without intention.

We have even recently learned that the appendix in our bodies, which for a long time was thought to be rather purposeless, does in fact serve a function for our digestive systems!

I feel confident in saying that one reason God designed us with the minds that He did in the world that He did is so that we might SEEK him and FIND Him. (See Acts 17:26-28.)

That God placed us in this world full of His creativity—even our very souls in a complex body—is a beautiful metaphor of the work He also wants to do in our spiritual lives. He wants to create new life in us by His Spirit that we might be in awe of His transforming renewal and that others might want to know more about this Creator who can take the nothingness of our lives and give it beauty and purpose.

If you find yourself in a place where your heart feels far from God, spend some time in His creation.

It could be anything from searching the word “bromeliads” online—especially if you don’t have them available to observe in person—to looking out the window for one moment before bedtime to gaze at the moon. Sometimes when we spend time loving God with our minds, it can trigger a deeper love for Him from our hearts.

What has looking at creation caused you to consider about the Creator?

Brittany Van Ryn is a Midwestern girl now shining her light in California, ever delighting in the endless flow of ideas from her Creator. She pursues all sorts of creative endeavors, works as a stylist, crafts her little heart out and encourages others towards the Lord as much as possible. Visit Brittany on her website, or on her blog. [Moms, Brittany’s blog can encourage your teenage daughters. Check out her three devotional themes.]