Summertime

I asked Kathy Carlton Willis to write a summertime post for UPGRADE, and she reminded me of the old song we belt out: “Summertime, and the livin’ is easy.”

“Ever wish you could play hooky from everyday life?” Kathy asks.

Hooky? Yes, I (Dawn) need some hooky time! Responsibilities are great and I'm not a shirker. But there comes a time ...

Kathy continues . . .

Little Johnny tossed a water balloon at Billy. A normal reaction from the teacher would be to reprimand Johnny, but this was not a normal day.

Miss Jones cheered from the sidelines. Billy fell to the ground with laughter. The boys high-fived each other, and the next team lined up to enjoy this fun in the sun.

Outdoor activities commonly end the school year because kids are antsy during regular teaching sessions. Aware of this, teachers plan field trips and outdoor activities. And when they don’t, the students daydream of playing hooky.

Well, school has been out for a while, but I feel like those students.

I also have a bit of wanderlust going on. It is difficult to concentrate. Maybe because vacations are often scheduled for June, July, and August, my daydreamer is programmed to go into overdrive during these months. We long to take the pressure off and just live.

No matter what our plans include, I hope we all plan to keep God in our days. God makes everything seem better. The sky is bluer and the grass is greener.

As we focus on His goodness we have a better perspective on life. And with a keen awareness of His presence, we realize we don’t have to face anything alone.

The Creator of summer creates a sense of freedom in our hearts when we trust in Him.

The best promise of all is that even when we take a break from our everyday humdrum lives, God never takes a break.

“He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber. Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps” (Psalm 121:3-4, NLT).

Most of us are not Israelites, but the concept holds true for New Testament Christians as well. Our God is an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God who is fully capable of being a vital part of His creation without the need of a vacation.

But for me—I hear a nap calling.

How to Make the Most of Summer:

• Refresh and recharge so you’re geared up for fall.
• Spend some time evaluating your 2016 goals, and redirect any that need a new focus.
• Truly rest, in every sense of the word, not merely physical rest.
• If you’ve gotten off track, recommit to your purpose, with a new drive to motivate you on your journey.
• Soak in God’s nature and allow extra time with Him and His creation to rejuvenate you.

A special summertime prayer:

Lord, thank You for the seasons You created for us to enjoy: for the warmth of summer, the fresh smell of flowers and the sun-kissed cheeks of children. I’m blessed to see Your handiwork all around me—You’re never sleeping or taking a break—but always keeping watch over me. Thank You!

What is one thing you look forward to this summer?

Kathy Carlton Willis enjoys fiddling with words as writer's coach and marketing pro at KCW Communications and founded WordGirls for Christian female writers. She’s published in multiple books, magazines and online publications. Kathy gets jazzed inspiring others to have their own lightbulb moments and shines, whether she's spotlighting God's writers and speakers, or reflecting God's light during her speaking events. Kathy wrote Speaker to Speaker: The Essential Speaker’s Companion and Grin with Grace. Discover more about Kathy at her website.

Trying Too Hard vs. Enjoying Good Enough

I can't tell you how many time the wise counsel from Joan C. Webb has resonated with my heart. We are kindred spirits. In this Attitude and Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she tackles the unhealthy thinking that surrounds "perfectionistic thinking," even in the church.

"Tired after an extra-long work day, Richard and I decided to eat a simple dinner at home—by candlelight," Joan says. "I rested while he cleaned up. Then it happened!"

I (Dawn) often feel dog-tired, collapsing after a long day. Are you struggling with weariness too? Let's pay close attention to Joan's wise counsel.

Joan continues . . .

After our intentionally relaxing evening, the phone rang. Rushing to answer it, we inadvertently knocked over the burning candle. It flew, hit the piano, landing on the carpet. We spent two hours cleaning up globs of wax.

“How stupid!” Richard muttered. Previously I might have agreed.

This time I smiled inside.

I don’t buy that. It was an awkward situation, but no one or no thing is stupid because of it.

Perhaps like me, you may have at times believed that everything is either perfectly wonderful as you envision it should be or totally botched-up.

But the truth is that joy and fun can mix with mistakes and disappointment.

There is a fundamental difference between trying too hard to make it (someone, or something) “just right” and partnering with God for excellence.

I found relief as I began to understand these two underlying principles.

So how do you know when you’re trying too hard to make it “just right,” and what can you do about it?

1. Our culture focuses primarily on doing and it has led to an action-addiction epidemic. It’s wearing us out.

Pursue being first and doing will follow.

You and I have the joy of partnering with the Ultimate Being—the Great “I AM”, allowing Him to show us who we are and what He’s designed us to do (Ephesians 2:10).

2. Are you trying to avoid someone else’s disapproval? Or are you playing the comparison game?

You can let yourself off the guilt-hook: You don’t have to be the best mother, wife, worker, friend, or Christian compared to others.

You get to be the best version of yourself—the person God created you to be.

This is doable and reasonable.

3. When you get caught in the “trying too hard to make it just right” gerbil wheel, you may succumb to black and white thinking: It’s all good or all bad.

When you feel stuck, STOP.

Pause.

Make an intentional choice to think not in black and white, but in your favorite color. It is in this place that options, ideas, and freedom are found.

4. Pause and listen to your self-talk.

A mentee recently told me that she has a “Hitler-Type Bully” in her head. Listen for the “I should...," "I must...," "I have to..." demands you silently make on yourself.

This is not how God’s Spirit guides you.

With His loving and gentle guidance, you can change your self-chat. Ask a safe mentor, coach or counselor to help you stay committed to this new way of thinking.

I do believe there is an epidemic of this kind of “perfectionistic thinking.” It seems to be a tactic of the enemy. He wants to keep us overly-busy and exhausted, because when we are we become vulnerable to the subtle “trying too hard” misbeliefs mentioned above.

This hinders the kingdom-work God wants to do through us and the enemy is pleased.

For those of you—and it includes me—who have a tendency to over-try to make things “just right" and then get bone-tired, what one small choice will help you enjoy “good enough” this week?

Go ahead. It is okay with God.

He’s not trying to make it harder for you. He wants to lighten your load (Matthew 11:29-30).

For more about the difference between “trying too hard” and “partnering with God for excellence,” see Joan's free resource.

Joan C. Webb is a speaker and author who has written thirteen books including The Relief of Imperfection: For Women Who Try Too Hard to Make It Just Right, The Intentional Woman and a devotion titled, It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. As a Life Coach who specializes in working with writers and communicators, Joan helps set people free to become who they were designed to be and from what holds them back. For more information about her books, services and teaching, visit www.joancwebb.com.

Complex Carbs - and the Complexity of Burnout

Rhonda Rhea. Always leave it to this funny lady to link life's crazy moments to something life-changing. In this life and Ministry UPGRADE, she talks about carbs, coffee and where our real energy originates.

"I may look calm on the outside," Rhonda says, "But on the inside I’m frantically trying to digest ridiculous amounts of complex carbs without storing cellulite."

Carbs. Cellulite. Got my (Dawn's) attention there. Unfortunately. But what's Rhonda really saying?

Rhonda continues…

Time to up the metabolism, I’m thinking. Seems the logical fix would be coffee. That’s why I figure I’m helping things along if I drive through for a grande mocha latte with extra whip.

Someone told me that the average person drinks 22 gallons of coffee a year.

I’ve also heard it said that the average person walks about 8,000 miles a year just going about the regular routine of everyday life.

Surely that’ll work off that extra whip.

So it looks to me like we’re getting about 363 miles to the gallon. Talk about sustainability. Suddenly that four-dollar mocha is a responsible purchase, right?

Burning carbs is one thing. But burning out is another.

In the stresses of going about the not-always-so-regular routine of Kingdom work, it’s easy to become not just over-whipped, but over-worked, over-tired and overwhelmed.

Some of the complex warning signs of burnout?

• A soul-weariness—tiredness that rarely goes away.
• There’s a “spinning your wheels” frustration—feeling that though you’re running yourself ragged, you’re not really making a difference.
• Resentment builds and starts replacing the joy once found in working for Jesus.
• It’s difficult to love Him well and even harder to love His people.
• You find yourself fighting a strong desire to isolate yourself.
• Loneliness, negativity, cynicism and hopelessness creep in. 

What do we do when we feel “whipped”—in the non-creamiest way?

1. We run. We run to the only One who can heal a heart and refresh a spirit.

2. If there’s sin in the way, we get rid of it.

Spending time on our faces in prayer, getting truly honest with the Father, starts the healing.

3. We immerse ourselves in His Word. It’s there we find direction, strength, wisdom and restoration.

4. We determine to stay plugged into people and find a godly confidante.

We were designed with a deep need for that people-connection.

5. It’s also good to take a look at the schedule and get rid of clutter.

Get some rest.

The truth is,

God never calls us to do anything He doesn’t equip us to do.

In essence, He won’t give you more miles to walk than He gives coffee to get you there.

When we have more than we have time and energy to do, we’ve added to the to-do’s ourselves. As we pray through our schedule asking for direction, He is faithful to give wisdom in knowing where to back off and where to press on.

Our love and service for Him? In those we press on. Always.

I love the “press on” kind of encouragement found in Hebrews 10:35-36.

“Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward. For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away—and enjoy to the full—what is promised” (AMP).

“Enjoy to the full.” I do love that. Not only does it make me think of mocha, but it reminds me of the blessing in not giving up. He strengthens the tired heart. He’ll enable you to do everything you really need to do.

“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24, ESV).

Knowing it’s all His strength—that’s invigorating! More energizing than the strongest mocha. With never a carb left over.

Ready, willing and revved up to press on? His Word and His presence does that! In what might the Lord be calling you to press on?

Rhonda Rhea is a humor columnist and the author of 10 nonfiction books, including Join the Insanity—Crazy-Fun Life in the Pastors’ Wives Club and Espresso Your Faith—30 Shots of God’s Word to Keep You Focused on Christ. Rhonda also coauthors fiction with her daughter, Kaley Faith Rhea. Their first novel, Turtles in the Road, releases soon with two more completed and coming soon. Rhonda speaks at conferences and events all over the country and she and her daughters host the TV show, That’s My Mom, for Christian Television Network’s KNLJ airing in mid-Missouri.

Graphic, "Dreaming Girl with Cup of Coffee," image courtesy of alex_ugalek at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Finish Well: Build Strength

In the last post, "Finish Well: Take Courage," we considered four ways to become a more courageous person in the second half of life. Today, we want to consider four UPGRADES to build strength.

First, a short testimony.

I (Dawn) am struggling with many health issues right now. I joked with my friend, Pam Farrel, "I have always been a Type-A+ person. These days I've added a lot of 'A's to my life: allergies, asthma, arthritis, apnea, acid reflux ...." LOL, right?

I'm discovering—as I strategize to regain my health—one of the most important aspects of recovery is my frame of mind.

So it's my first "finish well" strategy under building strength:

1. Cultivate Powerful Attitudes.

It's not about mind over matter; it's about searching out God's perspective and framing my thoughts and attitudes according to His Word.

All the self-talk in the world will not encourage my heart and guide my life as well as the powerful truth of scripture. My "self-talk" needs to be God-talk.

I need to read, know, memorize, meditate on and apply the rich, strength-building Word of God. God wants to change my attitudes from the heart out.

It is the application of God's Word that enables me to experience His joy, offer Him gratitude, trust Him in difficulties, and more.

God colors our attitudes with His abounding grace, and frees us to respond to life's cirumstances with inner strength—HIS strength in us.

What we think and say can become building blocks for greater character and strength with the goal of pleasing the Lord (Psalm 19:14), but first we need a transformed heart. God can transform our heart (and thoughts and attitudes) at any age (Romans 12:2; Philippians 4:8; Proverbs 4:23.

2. Focus on Friendships.

Another source of strength in the Christian's life (or it should be) is godly friendships. God made us for such relationships!

While our friendships are primarily a wonderful way to bring glory to God, they also are meant to help us build up our lives.

• A friend's encouraging or challenging words can keep us accountable to our goals and spiritual growth (Proverbs 27:17; 11:14; 19:20).
• A friend's loyalty, when we feel wounded by circumstances or other people, can help us move forward and not get stuck (Proverbs 18:24). 
• A friend's acceptance and forgiveness can teach us more about the freeing, loving forgiveness of our Father in heaven (Ephesians 4:32).
• A friend's love can encourage us when times get tough (Proverbs 17:17; John 13:34-35).

Some may find it difficult to cultivate friendships, but it is always worth the time and effort.

Some friendships last for a lifetime; other friends enter our lives at a needful season and leave a warm glow when they depart.

We need many kinds of friends: friends to laugh with, pray with, study with, etc., because no one friend (except Jesus) can meet all our needs!

With my health issues, I pulled away for a while; I thought I could deal with things alone—just me and Jesus. That's silly when God has given me so many good friends!

Remember: Although Jesus is the sinner's dearest friend, earthly friends can also come alongside to encourage and strengthen us when we need them most.

It's never too late to make a new friend, especially when they are solid, biblical relationships that honor the Lord.

3. Create Family Legacy.

I don't know about you, but I want to leave a godly legacy that will outlive me. I may be physically weak and frail when I leave this earth, but I can leave behind something strong!

I read that revivalist preacher Jonathan Edwards and his wife Sarah left a far-reaching legacy. Their decendants were quite accomplished (including 100 lawyers, a law school dean, 80 who held public office, 66 physicians, 65 professors, 30 judges, 13 college presidents, 3 mayors of large cities, 3 state governors, 3 senators and 1 Vice President of the US). What a testimony of blessing and strength in that family!

I want to leave a worthy legacy of children and grandchildren who know, love and live for the Lord (Psalm 112:1-2); descendants who are caring and compassionate, and accomplishing God's will in His world. One of the most important ways to do that is to live an authentic, Christian life.

It's been said, "The legacy we leave is the life we lead."* The truth is, our children and grandchildren are watching our lives, and what they see is probably more influential than anything we will say. If I want them to follow and live for Jesus, it makes sense that I must lead the way.

That's pretty humbling and convicting sometimes. I'm an imperfect servant of the Lord. But I still have time to build strength in this area.

I must remember: I'm not just building strength for my own life, but for generations to come!

4. Make Healthy Choices.

I opened this post mentioning my struggle with many overlapping health issues. I must admit, at least two of my health issues have grown out of my poor choices. (And that's hard for me to admit when my entire ministry for the past 20 years has been about "choices.")

I've made poor eating, exercise and rest choices. And it shows. You may have done the same, but not experienced destructive, even debilitating consequences ... yet.

The truth is, we can all still build strength.

Until the day we die, it's never too late to make new, healthier choices.

It a battle sometimes, and it takes discipline, but as Pastor Brady Boyd says, "Tiny disciplines tend to win great wars!"**

Here are a few of my new choices:

• I'm taking more breaks in my schedule for "down time"—times for genuine rest. (The book that has influenced me greatly on this is Brady Boyd's Addicted to Busy.)
• I'm planning more time to commune with the Lord in meditation and prayer, often going outside because God's creation "speaks" to me about His greatness.
• I'm eating foods that are green, lean, clean and "alka-lean" (a word I coined that means I'm "leaning on more alkaline foods" and less acidic foods).
• I'm doing simple exercises and stretching with the hope that I'll be able to do more intensive movements as I heal.
• I'm doing my best to get more sleep!

Yes, we can build strength as we cultivate powerful attitudes, focus on friendships, create family legacy and make healthy choices.

Which of these four upgrades would help you Finish Well?

Dawn Wilson, founder and president of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry (NEWIM). Dawn is the co-author of a devotional, LOL with God, and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

* Legacy quote from A Leader's Legacy by James Kouzes and Barry Posner, p. 177.

** Tiny disciplines quote from Addicted to Busy by Brady Boyd.

Graphic adapted: Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Upgrade Your Fitness - at Home!

Morgan Farr is a young mom with an adorable little boy who is passionate about physical fitness. In this Health & Fitness UPGRADE she shares how to get more fit at home.

“How can I get fit and healthy," Morgan says, "if I can’t afford a gym membership or a personal trainer? I hear this question ALL the time."

OK, I (Dawn) have to admit I've used this excuse and others, but Morgan isn't about to let me (or you) get away with it.

Morgan continues . . .

It is hard in the regular world much less in the Army world for moms to get away long enough to work out at the gym. But I am here to tell you that it can be done and without spending a ton of money!

We all know that fitness an important part of life. If you don’t take care of the temple that God has given you, you can’t work as efficiently for His kingdom. This is even more important when you are a wife and mom, because you have people depending on you every single day.

I have heard a lot of excuses as to why people can’t work out, and the most common one is that they can’t get to the gym. But the thing is, you don’t have to go to the gym to work out.

You can do it from home.

You don’t need fancy equipment.

All you need is: 

• 1 car tow strap
• 1 medium carabiner
• 1 eyebolt
• 1 duffel bag (I like the ones from Army surplus stores because they are usually very cheap.)
• 1 40-pound bag of salt pellet
• 1 old car tire (I use the old ones from my car when I get them replaced.)

 That is it. That is all you need to effectively work out at home.

You will now use these six supplies to make two pieces of equipment.

1. Making a sandbag

Take the sandbag and dump in 10 pounds of the salt. I typically put it inside two trash bags just to keep things tidy.

Tie off the top, securely. A ponytail holder or two works great!

Save the remaining salt, you will need it in the months to come.

2. Making a sled:

Drill a hole in the side of the tire for the eyebolt. You want the round part on the outside portion of the tire.

When you have the eyebolt secured, use the carabiner to hook the car tow strap to the tire.

So now you have a ten pound sandbag and a tire sled.

Here are a list of the things you can do with this new equipment: overhead press, seated press, alternating press, back squat, sumo squat, overhead squat, farmer carries, weighted lunges, sandbag get ups, unweighted tire drags, weighted tire drags, unweighted hand over hand tire pulls, weighted hand over hand tire pulls.  

And those are just the movement with those two pieces of equipment!

That doesn’t include bodyweight movements like: air squats, sit ups, push-ups, jumping jacks, split squats, sumo squats, crunches, and burpees.

When you mix and match these things together you get an incredibly varied workout. Your own creativity is your only limitation! If you don’t know how to program your workout and you need a little help you can always look up workouts online.

My husband and I publish “travel” workouts for the fitness community to use at any time. These workouts are designed to be done with a sandbag and a tire sled or no equipment at all.  

1 Corinthians 9:26-27 says,

“Thus I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing. No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified.”

Don’t disqualify yourself. Get in the race. Start where you are, and work to get better.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what workout program you follow. It matters that you are out there working on your body, making yourself more fit for God to use you in any capacity.

How will you start to build up your body for Christ?

Morgan Farr is an Army wife currently stationed at Fort Bragg in Fayetteville, North Carolina with her wonderful husband Brian and their seven month old son, William. She is a homemaker that dedicates her free time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one interactions and physical training. Morgan writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog. You can find her training programs on her blog FarrFunctionalFitness.blogspot.com.