Cultivate the Beauty of Gratitude at Home

There's nothing more precious in this culture of entitlement than a grateful, appreciative child, as we can see in this Parenting UPGRADE by Dawn Wilson.

I've learned a lot about parenting from the Word of God ... but also at Wal-mart.

What I mean is, I see examples of good parenting and poor parenting almost every time I shop there!

Two cases in point:

There was a little girl in the grocery section who whined constantly that she wanted this and that, wearing down her frazzled mom's nerves. I heard her a couple of aisles away, but ran into them in the cookie aisle.

Finally, the mother gave in and got her daughter the cookies she wanted. The whiney daughter didn't even say "thank you."

And you think she'd be satisfied. But no ... she started asking for more.

And then there was an adorable boy—same store, same day—a little older than the girl. I was in the toy department, looking for a hula hoop. The boy was waiting for his mom while she priced some beach toys.

"Mom, can I get this water gun?" he asked, fingering a big, powerful-looking, high-grade water cannon.

"Honey, you know we can't afford that right now," Mom said. "Maybe for your birthday."

"Yeah, I know," the boy said as he stood quietly by the cart.

Suddenly, the mom picked up two water pistols—much more affordable. "How about these?" she said, "one for you and one for Charlie."

The boy's mouth dropped open in a huge smile. "Thanks, Mom!"

Even though I overheard these two families' conversations, I could have guessed a lot about them without any words, simply by the spirit they communicated at the store.

I thought: Man, that girl was a pain, but I'd take that boy home in an instant! What a sweetie!

There's beauty and grace in gratitude, but an unthankful heart is just plain ugly.

Certainly we are to be grateful to God (Psalm 136:1; Colossians 3:17) and in the circumstances of life (1 Thessalonians 5:18; Ephesians 5:20); but we need to give thanks for and to people as well (Ephesians 1:16; Colossians 3:15). Many times this gratitude surfaces as pronouncing a blessing on others, or a willingness to repay them in kind because of what they have done for us (see 2 Samuel 2:6).

"Abounding in thanksgiving" is part of our walk of faith (Colossians 2:6-7); it should be evident in our lives.

I do believe some temperament types are more conducive to thankfulness, but gratitude can be cultivated by anyone. And parents have the responsibility to teach it to their children. To model it.

So how do we fight the "entitlement culture" and cultivate the beauty of gratitude at home?

It's E-E-E-E-E-asy.

1. Encourage appreciation for others in the home. Be intentional. Tell them why you love them. Thank them sincerely when they serve you or finish a task you've asked them to do.

2. Explain to your children how others serve them with time, effort, money and other resources. Make them more aware of things they can be grateful for in daily living.

3. Educate everyone in the family in how to write thank you notes (a lost art in modern culture), and how to tell someone "thank you" in a sincere, meaningful way.

4. Express gratitude (verbally or in a note) for the special things your family members and friends do for you - for their encouragement, counsel, gifts and other things you receive.

5. Enlist your family to create "thank you" gifts. Make small gift boxes or baskets for those who serve your family—your dentist or hairdresser, for example. (Note: Your payment is "expected" for services rendered; but you can always surpise those who serve you with "something extra.")

Create a larger basket for your pastor, pastor's wife, missionaries or leaders in parachurch organizations to share your appreciation for their ministry.

6. Extend gratitude even more ... to your children's teachers, their Sunday school teachers, community servants, people in your neighborhood, etc.

7. Empathize with those who are hurting, and notice when they "suffer well." Thank them for their godly example. (But don't stop ministering to those who hurt who are still struggling! They need encouragement, compassion and prayer!)

It's always a choice to cultivate the beauty of gratitude in our homes and in the lives of others. Who knows what will bloom in their lives!

Which of these "E"-asy tips for cultivating gratitude are you already doing? Something new you'd like to try?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the President of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.