Courage for Resisting the 'Fear of Man'

Kathy Collard Miller's focus on the believer's identity in Christ has helped her navigate many issues in life, and she encourages others in that journey as well. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she encourages trust in God's love and concern for us rather than getting caught up in what others think—the "fear of man.""I suffer from the 'fear of man,' Kathy says. "Proverbs 29:25 says, 'The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe' (ESV)."

I (Dawn) am sure every one of us has been caught in that snare at some time in life, and some people have a greater tendency to get caught. It takes courage and intentionality to fight against the destructive fear of man.

Kathy continues . . .

I was recently surprised to find some powerful wisdom in Isaiah 51:12-13 (ESV) for fighting the fear of man.

Those verses say:

   I, I am he who comforts you;
       who are you that you are afraid of man who dies,
       of the son of man who is made like grass,
    and have forgotten the Lord, your Maker,
       who stretched out the heavens
       and laid the foundations of the earth,
    and you fear continually all the day
       because of the wrath of the oppressor,
    when he sets himself to destroy?
       And where is the wrath of the oppressor?

The fear of man—who may feel like an “oppressor”—comes from thinking other people are the best source of what we need.

In verse 12, God says He offers comfort to us. The Hebrew word “comfort” has the idea of expressing sympathy.

Quite often when we fear the opinions of "man," we are looking for understanding, approval, and affirmation from others.

When people seem to come through for us, we feel “comforted” in knowing we are a person of value.

How can we resist that snare and trust God instead based on Isaiah 51:12-13?

Truths to Consider

1. The comfort from other people is temporary, but God’s is eternal.

Someone may offer us what we want, but the next time she may fail us. Only God’s opinion of us never changes.

2. Only God is wise enough to truly know what we need.

If God wisely and powerfully created us, He knows our real, valid needs. He provided the demonstration of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins when we don’t deserve it. No one else can do that for us.

Ephesians 1:3-14 offers the fullest, most concise identifiers of believers in the Bible. God says because of our inheritance through Christ, we are identified as blameless, forgiven, blessed, holy, redeemed, loved, chosen, predestined, conformed, secure and other declarations of who we are in His view of us.

3. Recognize how the fear of man creates stress.

Living in God’s love brings love, joy, peace, and other fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

4. What we fear usually isn’t as bad as we anticipate.

In effect, God says through Isaiah, “Is it really as bad as you anticipated?” Sometimes it does feel as horrible, but when we see how God wants to affirm our worth and value, we can also see how we grow from the challenge.

Early in my marriage to Larry, I was afraid of his displeasure. I carefully tried to evaluate his every reaction and then change my behavior based on what I assumed he was “telling me.”

In time, I read about the “fear of man” and was convicted of putting Larry’s opinion of me higher than God’s.

One day, Larry seemed irritated. I boldly asked, “Larry, you look angry. Are you mad at me?”

He looked surprised and replied, “Do I? No, I’m not mad at you. I was thinking about work.”

From that day on, I learned to ask instead of assume.

Here are some practical suggestions for diminishing the fear of man.

• Memorize and meditate on Isaiah 51:12-13.
• Ask yourself exactly what it is you fear.
• Make a list of your inheritance in Christ as Ephesians 1:3-14 defines you. Put it in several prominent places in your home and work space.
• Forgive others who respond to you out of their own hurt and pain. Their reaction says nothing about how valuable you are and how loved you are by God.

How can you more effectively allow God to comfort you instead of a person’s opinion of you?

Kathy Collard Miller has long depended on her identity in Christ to grow in resisting the snare of the fear of man. God has used His journey for her through His opportunities to write over 60 books, speak in 9 countries and over 30 US states. One of her newer books is Pure Hearted: The Blessings of Living Out God’s Glory where she expands on knowing our identity in Christ. Kathy and her husband, Larry, of 52 years, are parents, grandparents, lay counselors, and live in Boise, Idaho. Visit her at KathyCollardMiller.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Pexels at Pixabay.

Focus in the New Year

Morgan Farr, who ministers with a group for military women and wives, is an inspirational and Word-driven woman of God. A great deal of her ministry revolves around being intentional. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she encourages us as we look forward to what the Lord might do in our lives in 2023.

"Nearly 80% of New Year Resolutions," Morgan says, "are abandoned by February!"

Oh, I (Dawn) believe that! Like Morgan, I have tweaked the whole concept of resolutions into something more manageable and, I think, God-honoring.

Morgan continues . . .

I learned long ago that goals and resolutions didn’t work for me.

I start strong, but then life happens, and I get frustrated.

Instead, I make a simple focal point for the year. To make that happen, I choose a word and a verse to go with it. I use that word and Bible verse to help me make choices throughout the year and decide where to focus my resources.

This is what that has looked like, practically, in the last seven years:

2016—Focus

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3:18 ESV).

2017—Prepare

“But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect" (1 Peter 3:15 ESV).

2018—Tenderness

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:6 ESV).

2019—Forgiveness

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 ESV).

2020—Boundaries

“I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it” (Psalms 101:3 ESV).

2021—Reclaim

“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ” (Colossians 2:8 ESV).

2022—Emerge

“Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him,  rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (Colossians 2:6-7 ESV).

I can look back at my words and see what God was teaching me at that time.

In 2018, I had three kids, three years old and under. My husband is active duty military, so I was often solo parenting and overwhelmed. Tenderness and loving my kids well was a big goal that year.

In 2022, I was working on stepping out in faith in new ministry positions. I can confidently say that I emerged in 2022.

F - O - C - U - S

I challenge you to make a focal point for 2023 by using the acronym FOCUS.

1. Find the Issue

Play detective. Where are you struggling? What are you working towards or moving away from? What are your personal needs in the coming year? What are the needs of your family?

2. Own Your Word

Narrow down the list to what you can focus on. Instead of sticking with a word like “blessed” or “love” go to thesaurus.com and look at some of the incredible words that might help you narrow down your topic a little better. Some words are richer than others.

3. Claim Your Verse

If you already have a verse in mind based off of your word, use it!

If not, I like to use BlueLetterBible.org to search for the word or its synonyms.

4. Use Creativity

Get your verse and your word on the walls in your home. Stick it up on the mirror in your bathroom. Put it on an index card in your car. You can do this as big or as small as you like, but you are 42% more likely to achieve your goal if you write it down.

5. Start the Work

Now that you have your word and your verse it is time to live it out. As you make choices in the year and as you interact with loved ones check back on your word and verse often.

If you type “New Year Goals” into google, you'll get a shocking 5,170,000,000 results.

I have set a great many goals and resolutions over the years. Almost all of them were forgotten by spring.

The goal of a focal point is that:

• It is self-driven.
• It is small and manageable.
• It is created by your personal walk with the Lord.

What will your focal point be this year?

Morgan Farr, an Army wife, is a succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Morgan homeschools her four young children and trains her working dogs while leaning heavily on Jesus. Morgan is the Director of Publishing at Planting Roots, a ministry for military women and wives. You can connect with Morgan on all major social media channels using her handle: morgandfarr.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Simon/USA Reiseblogger at Pixabay.

'Wait-Lifting' for the New Year

Kathy Carlton Willis, God's Grin Gal, always encourages readers to see life through a biblical perspective and not lose their joy in life. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she addresses the topic of patience—when and how to cultivate it.

“We often comment on how good or bad our waiter is at a restaurant, but I’m not earning any good waiter awards these days when it comes to waiting on life stuff,” Kathy says.

Waiting is hard for me (Dawn) too. Patience is definitely a character trait I need to cultivate! Kathy has wise, helpful counsel for all of us.

Kathy continues . . .

Probably the hardest thing for me, and most of you, is the trial of hurry up and wait. Left unchecked, it tests my patience, challenges my contentment, and sours my joy.

If you are in a season not of your own choosing, you might find yourself wishing for something different or more.

Answers or solutions.

In this era of supply chain shortages, there are much more serious shortages going on.

When it comes to waiting, a lack of patience will practically do us in.

Sometimes, we need the delay for God to prepare us for the answer He is customizing for His purpose to come true in our lives.

Our job when we sense silence on the other end of our prayers is simple.

Wait.

And in the wait, we trust.

And in the trust, we grow patience.

And when patience has grown up, it becomes endurance.

Then we’re ready to run the faith marathon designed with us in mind.

Isn’t it curious that the very thing that causes us to feel impatient is an example of God’s patience? We think He’s being quiet, or even absent from our lives because of our situation. The opposite is true—He is forever present with us.

Having God with us is more important than having—well, anything!

When we have that, the weight of the wait is lifted. (The best kind of “wait-lifting.”)

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2–4 NLT)

Patience is only developed during the wait, never in the rush.

What happens when we wait impatiently? Whether we wait with patience or impatience, it takes just as long, but when we’re impatient, we’re miserable.

Let’s trade our impatience for a new coping skill to help reframe our outlook.

How to Develop Your Patience Muscle

Patience is never more needed and never less present than when we are dealing with a time-out or pause. It’s always best to develop patience ahead of time so that muscle memory shows up when you need it.

Here are some tips.

1. Galatians 5 lists patience as a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

That means it’s up to the Holy Spirit to act in patience through us, and it’s up to us to be yielded to the Spirit.

What does it mean to be yielded or surrendered to the Spirit? It involves us being willing to follow His lead instead of the selfish desires that contradict Scripture.

2. Don’t expect your circumstances to change.

Patience is pumped up just like working a muscle during weightlifting—when it is tested.

3. Know that all human beings struggle with impatience, and only a few learn to be patient during difficult times.

It’s easier to get frustrated than to have faith, and our go-to tends to be in crisis mode rather than choosing to be in Christ.

4. Patience needs to be stored up ahead of time for when you need it, and it gets depleted easily.

Being in God’s Word and talking with Him in the good times banks spiritual fruit for you to have available during the bad times.

5. If you find yourself lacking patience, look through God’s eyes of grace toward the situation or person frustrating you.

This will allow you to put up with much more.

6. Sometimes the person you need to have patience toward is yourself.

Reduce your unrealistic expectations. Allow more do-overs. Confess your flaws to God and ask Him to transform your life.

7. When you realize that your purpose in life is so much bigger than this current circumstance, your ability to be more patient will flourish.

Strive to look at the big picture—the kingdom picture.

8. Patience helps you trust God more.

Trusting God helps you build more patience. They go together. When you have something to hang your hope on, you can wait with patience for all the details to be worked out according to God’s purpose.

9. If you are a Christ follower, you are a temple of God, and conduit for the Spirit to flow through you.

Patience moves unhindered through open conduit but is restricted when that conduit is plugged with pride and self.

10. When you choose to be impatient, you willfully refuse God’s equipment to help you cope with your current situation.

Patience is an act of obedience—evidence of a yielded, Spirit-filled life.

11. Practicing patience is not the same thing as stagnating.

It doesn’t mean you are complacent or compromising. It means you are content in the wait but eager with hope for the next God-thing. It’s not passive.

Patience is active—acting on God’s Word to stand your ground until He moves you on.

12. Patience gives you time to grow a more intimate relationship with the Father.

What New Year’s goal will you set to strengthen your patience muscle?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Today’s Upgrade with Dawn is inspired by Kathy’s latest book, Your Life on Hold: Don’t Hate the Wait. Consider joining one of Kathy’s groups for 2023. More information at www.kathycarltonwillis.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Andrea Piacquadio at Pexels.

Uplift Your Worship

Morgan Farr continues to amaze me by her determined mothering and ministry. In this Christmas UPGRADE, she gets personal—sharing how God taught her lessons through a classic Christmas carol, 'O Holy Night.'"People tend to love Christmas music or absolutely hate it," Morgan says. "There seem to be few people who are neutral in this debate."

Count me (Dawn) in the first group. Long before I became a Christ-follower, I believe Christmas hymns and carols played a part in drawing me to Christ.

Morgan continues . . .

I happen to be one who adores Christmas music. But this was not always the case.

Christmas of 2017, I had a breakthrough. I learned to worship more freely through the lyrics of "O Holy Night" and a rowdy two-year-old.

My family was stationed in San Diego, California, at the time. My husband was working with Naval Special Warfare and was gone more often than not. We had three children ages three and under, so my life was chaotic.

On a rare weekend when my husband happened to be home, we decided to take the kids to see a matinee of the Christmas movie, The Star.

The kids were three, two, and eight-months-old, so I wasn’t entirely sure how sitting through a movie would go.

I think I talked myself out of going twice on the way there. 

Mercifully, the only other people in the theater were a set of grandparents with their two young grandsons.

As the movie progressed, the song 'O Holy Night' played in the background. This song has been a favorite for most of my life, so I played it often in my house; but that afternoon it got a new place in my heart.

As soon as he recognized the song, my two-year-old son stood up in the aisle and belted out 'O Holy Night' at the top of his lungs.   

Listening to my two-year-old unapologetically celebrating was a moment that permanently changed the way I think of worship—and the lyrics of 'O Holy Night' were the catalyst.

Lessons from 'O Holy Night'

1. Raise Your Voice.

“O holy night! The stars are brightly shining; it is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.”

In the first part of the song, we simply call out the gloriousness of the night. Do you speak openly of God’s incredible gift to us? If not, what is holding you back?

Psalm 145:11 says,

“They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom, and talk of thy power.”

Speak boldly of the gift that God gives us. Share the news of His glory with those around you.

2. Recognize the Need.

“Long lay the world in sin and error pining, till He appears and the soul felt its worth.”

When I share with someone about why I follow Christ, is this what I say? Without Christ, we are lost to sin, permanently separated from God.

Philippians 3:8 says,

"What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ."

Do I explain that life without Christ leaves a hole that leaves me searching? Do I show with my actions that Christ is worthy of my worship?

3. Remember the Hope.

“A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

Jesus Christ was born, lived a sinless life, was crucified and buried, only to raise again three days later— redeeming us all from our depravity. He is the hope that generations cried out for and that we get to experience through salvation.

When I am weary of the happenings of the world, do I remember that Jesus is King of Kings and will return in glory?

4. Revel in Him.

“Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices! O night divine, O night when Christ was born; O night divine, O night, O night Divine.”

Do I worship the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords with appropriate adoration?

1 Chronicles 16: 23-25 says,

“Sing to the LORD, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples. For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods.”

Am I hesitant to sing out in church or with my family on the chance that I might fumble the words or miss a note? Not anymore.

My son’s rendition of 'O Holy Night' reminded me that when worshiping our Savior, the notes don’t matter, the stumbles are forgotten.

It is the act of worshiping the Most High God with everything that I have that matters. It reminds me to focus on the incredible gift we have been given in Christ, not just at Christmas, but every single day.

This holiday season, I want to encourage you to break free of any restraints that might prevent you from fully worshipping God.

If you need an example of what that looks like, check out the children in your church. See what it looks like to approach the Creator of the universe through the eyes of a child.

After all, that is how the Savior of the world appeared on that oh, so holy night.

How can you worship him more this holiday season?

Morgan Farr, an Army wife, is a succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Morgan homeschools her four young children and trains her working dogs while leaning heavily on Jesus. Morgan is the Director of Publishing at Planting Roots, a ministry for military women and wives. You can connect with Morgan on all major social media channels using her handle: morgandfarr.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Angeles Balaguer at Pixabay.

Waiting in Hope

Joanie Shawhan is an overcomer. Her belief in God's Word and trust in her Savior, Jesus, informs her choices about the struggles of life. It also teaches her how to wait in hope for the God who is in control. In this special Christmas UPGRADE, Joanie approaches the celebration of Advent with the desire to encourage each one of us to "wait in hope.""Mom could no longer manage another winter in her house," Joanie said. "We decided to sell her home and move her into assisted living by Christmas."

My husband and I (Dawn) and his extended family went through something similar with my husband's parents in 2021. It wasn't easy. There were so many challenges—opportunities to trust God. But through it all, we learned a lot about trusting God's timing, and waiting for Him to show Himself mighty. Like Joanie, we learned to "wait in hope."

How does this relate to Christmas?

Joanie continues . . .

Several buyers walked through the house, but they shook their heads. The house needed too much work.

I feared it wouldn’t sell.

Doubt and worry had whittled down my hope and left me exhausted.

A friend reminded me, “You only need one buyer.”

As I prayed, I sensed the Lord nudge me to declare “Jesus is Lord” over our situation. I prayed as God directed. I felt enveloped in a blanket of peace.

Once again, I engaged in the waiting process. But this time accompanied by a new faith and hope.

As I pondered waiting in hope, I was reminded of the Christmas story.

The Long, LO-O-O-ONG Wait!

For centuries, the Israelites waited and watched in hope for the coming of the promised Messiah. Even when they endured persecution and exile, they waited in hope. Against all odds, they believed God would fulfill His Word.

‘“The days are coming,’ declares the Lord, ‘when I will raise up for David a righteous Branch, a King who will reign wisely and do what is just and right in the land. In his days Judah will be saved and Israel will live in safety. This is the name by which he will be called: The Lord Our Righteous Savior’” (Jeremiah 23:5-6 NIV).

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel” (Isaiah 7:14 NIV).

Even though they trusted in God’s Word, did they understand these prophecies concerning the arrival of the Messiah?

It would be 700 YEARS LATER before the Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary.

“Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end” (Luke 1:31-33 NIV).

Even Mary didn’t understand the Angel’s message. How could the words of this angel be fulfilled since she was still a virgin?

But Mary believed God. Little did Mary know how her “Yes” would not only change her, but would transform the world.

Mary's “yes” acknowledged the Lordship of God as she waited in hope.

When I declare “Jesus is Lord” over my situation, I acknowledge God’s sovereignty as I wait in hope. Even when I don’t understand God’s plan.

How does my declaration of  “Jesus is Lord” help me wait in hope?

• I replace my doubt and unbelief with faith.
• I surrender to the will of God by confessing, “Not my will, but yours be done.”
• I relinquish control of my circumstances. God is in control.
• I acknowledge that when I obey His Word, I am not responsible for the outcome of my situation. God is.
• I express my love for the Lord through my obedience.
• I worship God for who He is and not just for what He can do for me.

Even when I wait in hope, the answer to my prayers is not always the answer I desire. Sometimes I don’t understand why a loving God would allow His children to suffer various trials.

I wonder if Mary recalled Simeon’s words when the Romans nailed her beloved Son to the cross.

“Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: ‘This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.’” (Luke 2:34-35 NIV).

Mary didn’t understand God’s plan either. Only later did she see the glory of God.

We may not see God’s glory in our situation on this side of eternity, but as we walk with the Lord, we trust He will be glorified.

Advent is a liturgical season of waiting. A time to prepare our hearts for the coming of Jesus at Christmas.

The first of the four candles of advent is the candle of hope. Hope—a light shining in a dark place.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13 NIV).

We can wait in hope because God is faithful.

How are you waiting in hope during this advent season?

Joanie Shawhan shares true-life stories, offering her reader an eyewitness view of the action. Her Selah Awards Finalist book, In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer, reflects the value of “Your story plus my story become our stories.” An ovarian cancer survivor and registered nurse, Joanie speaks to medical students in the Survivors Teaching Students program. She co-founded an ovarian cancer social group: The Fried Eggs—Sunny-Side Up. Publishing credits include: Guideposts Divine Interventions, Snapshots of Hope & Heart, Wit, Whimsy & Wisdom, Life Repurposed, and We May Be Done But We’re Not Finished. Follow Joanie at www.joanieshawhan.com.

Christmas Graphic adapted, courtesy of TerriCnuddle at Pixabay.