Christmas? No Sweat!

In this Christmas UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson encourages practical and biblical responses to the holiday season that can reduce stress, even in a pandemic!

Last year, my Christmas looked so different. Circumstances made my family adapt and change so many aspects of the holiday season.

Preparing for a stem cell transplant, and caring for my husband who developed a serious physical issue that required hospitalization, I did all I could to reduce stress and still enjoy the holiday.

• Some family traditions were either set aside or left to others to fulfill.
• I put up the Christmas tree in September, because originally, my transplant was to be in October  (and then it was changed to December, and ultimately January)!
• I didn't have much energy, so I only put up one fourth of my holiday decor... and found I didn't miss the other things.
• I only made half of the holiday foods and treats I usually would make.
• We didn't put up out complicated outdoor Nativity display—disappointing our neighbors, but necessary.

During that December, I thought a lot about what makes Christmas — "Christmas."

This year, I prayed and decided to allow God to show me what is important, and what are simply "stress-builders." 

As a recovering perfectionist, I thought I had given all my expectations to the Lord, but I soon discovered my desires for the "perfect Christmas" still demanded my attention. And those unreasonable desires created stress.

That had to change.

God may bring certain stresses into our lives with purpose—usually to teach us something or mature us in our faith. But most of our stresses are of our own doing.

God wants to help us reduce or eliminate unnecessary stresses at Christmas. The Christmas season affords us many choices.

Here's how the Lord spoke to my heart.

Intentional CHOICES Can Eliminate Holiday Stress

1. Settle Who’s in Charge.

I've noticed how many of us would absolutely say, "Jesus is Lord," but we might not allow Him to take control of our Christmas celebration. We know what we want to do—why consult Him?

How ironic that we celebrate the One who came to lead us into peace, joy and love; and yet when we "take charge" we often leave Him out. And we can end up with stress and all sorts of other emotional issues.

Jesus said, "apart from Me, you can do nothing" (John 15:5), but we think we're more than capable of handling the holidays without even a simple prayer for His guidance and help.

The Lord wants to help us with our Christmas plans and relieve our stress, but we have to place our confidence in Him to know what is best for us and our families. We need to ask, listen, and obey.

Surrender your Christmas to the Lord; give Him your burdens and find rest (Matthew 11:28).

When we acknowledge God's sovereign control by faith, we may eliminate many of the holiday worries that cause us stress.

CHOOSE TRUST.

2. Stop Pursuing Perfectionism.

As I mentioned, perfectionism used to keep my head spinning. In pursuit of the "perfect" tree, dinner, gifts, etc., I pretty much ruined how I experienced so many Christmases.

No one and nothing is perfect on this earth. Only God is perfect.

We have expectations for ourselves and for others, and when those hopes or expectations aren't met, we can get heartsick with disappointment (Proverbs 13:12). (Worse, we can get angry when we don't get our way.)

I used to say, "Dawn, choose your battles at Christmas!"

Now I say, "Dawn, watch your expectations."

As we stop pursuing perfectionism, we can give everything our best effort and then relax. My new goal is to do my very best and leave the results to God.

There's nothing wrong with hard work and diligence toward a goal. That's not the same as perfectionism that drives and pressures us.

CHOOSE DILIGENCE.

3. Savor Simplicity.

Sometimes we get so elaborate, people and godly purposes get lost in the process.

Simplifying our lives is one of the best ways to remove stress.

Christmas isn't about complicated decorations and meals. It's about appreciating God's provisions and making memorable moments with the people we love.

Christmas memories are made in quiet chats with grandparents, fun baking sessions, walks in snow (or in San Diego, on the beach), drive in neighborhoods to see Christmas lights and other enjoyable moments. None of that needs to be complicated.

One of the unexpected sources of stress is the problem of "too much." I noticed something this year. I had so much Christmas decor put up, I lost sight of most of it.

It was a sparkly blur!

A wise fashion consultant once told me, "When you dress up to go out, before you go out the door, take off one piece of jewelry or accessory." She knew how easy it is to overdo, especially when we celebrate.

The concept of "less is more" works in fashion, home and Christmas decoration, and so many other areas of life.

God wants us to be content with what we have (1 Timothy 6:8) and be appreciative of the powerful simplicity in the birth of Christ (Luke 2:11).

So realistically, we don't need much to enjoy Christmas. But also—partly because of Covid-19 restrictions—we don't need a full calendar. Yes, there will be activities, especially if we have grandchildren. But sometimes drinking a cup of cocoa in front of the fireplace or munching on a Christmas cookie while watching a timeless holiday movie is all we need.

CHOOSE CONTENTMENT.

4. Set Wise Boundaries.

Setting wise boundaries helps reduce stress. I want to focus on just three areas for boundaries.

(1) Watch your budget. 

We don't need to go beyond our means. When we overspend, we not only lose sight of wise choices now, we have to deal with the stress of bills after Chrismas! Set boundaries on your checkbook and credit cards!

Ask God for wisdom (James 1:5) in the use of resources—practice good stewardship.

We seldom need "more." We often need a greater appreciation for what we already have.

Instead of buying more decor this year, I reduced what I have. A local charity got three boxes full of decorations others might appreciate, and I plan to go through my possessions this week to find coats, sweaters, blankets, mittens and other items the homeless might need as the weather turns chilly.

(2) Cut the Clutter.

Look around your room after decorating for the holiday. Does it feel "fussy"—more like a Christmas shop of displays than a home? (I'm so guilty of the over-do at Christmas!)

I know this is an individual thing, and you may want to keep heirlooms and antiques; but if your decor feels like clutter or even hoarding, rethink what you're keeping. You may need to set some boundaries for new purchases—after you cut the clutter now!

Christmas, like life, does not consist of an abundance of things (see Luke 12:15).

Notice the things that may still be in Christmas storage boxes or tubs. Why are they here? If they're not being used, do you really need them?

If you feel your decor is beyond healthy boundaries, here are a few ideas to pare down.

• Take pictures of groupings of items and email or text those photos to family members to see if they want some of your items. (You're just checking, not pressuring.)
• Can some things (good quality) be re-gifted?
• Consider giving to a charity where people can purchase decor at low cost, or use your "treasures" as gifts.
• Note: Sometimes taking a photo for a photo book to preserve and trigger memories can be just as satisfying as keeping the actual thing.

Simplifying by reducing or eliminating things—even well past Christmas—is a good way to get rid of a subtle kind of stress.

(3) Examine your relationships.

In some families, unhealthy relationships are strained throughout the year, and at Christmas, that stress can go over the top!

Set healthy boundaries, even with those you love.

• There's nothing wrong with valuing your time and doing what is best for you and your family. Don't be afraid to be clear about your time, needs or familiy's needs.
• Be kind and gentle (Ephesians 4:32; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7); but don't be afraid to say "no," when necessary.
• Antipate how relationship issues might trigger problems when you get together, and come up with good strategies to make these sticky interactions less stressful.
• Read scriptures about the tongue before Christmas—like "a gentle answer turns away wrath"(Proverbs 15:1)—because good communication goes a long way.)

We can make many wise choices when it comes to spending, our possessions, and relationships. God's Word has practical instruction.

CHOOSE DISCERNMENT.

5. Seek Moderation.

We tend to excuse bad habits during the holidays, thinking over-indulgence will lead to more joy. But overstuffed tummies and late-night binge-watching set us up for physical stress that don't help us.

Wise choices help us avoid upset stomachs and bleary eyes.

What we need is self-restraint, self-control. We can still rejoice and celebrate while practicing moderation (Philippians 4:4-5; 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

• Yes, we can enjoy a reasonable meal and beverage—small portions; waiting between bites; focusing on people more than the food.
• Yes, we can have dessert—leaving room for it as we enjoy our meal.
• Yes, we can plan opportunities for special Christmas programs—but beware of mindless eating on the couch!

If we seek ways to practice moderation in our celebration, we'll likely be glad we did.

CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL.

6. See Christmas through Others’ Eyes.

It's easy to turn inward and only see our own circumstances. It helps to pause and think about others who have needs too. How can we relieve their stresses?

First, if you have children, intentionally take time to discuss the holiday with them.

• Many children are struggling during the coronavirus. Are they feeling additional stress this Christmas? Can you relieve some of their stress?
• What makes Christmas special for them? More than how many gifts they get (or how big), what activities with you will make these weeks memorable?
• How can you better help them embrace the true meaning of Christmas? How can you help them understand that because Jesus came, we have hope and help.

When it comes to gifts, be careful not to stoke unreasonable or unhealthy expectations. Focus on loving your children, not showering them with "more." Love may include giving, but love does not equal things.

Also, ask God to help you see other people through HIS eyes. Then, as you move through the season, determine to see Christmas through the eyes of those around you:

• a weary or struggling spouse,
• family members who have experienced loss,
• a needy family in your church,
• a homeless person or family,
• a widow or widower,
• an orphan,
• an elderly shut-in or someone who is sick,
• someone deployed in the military, or
• a single person who might be lonely.

Because of Covid-19, many are hurting. Some feel desperate. Many have lost family members or jobs.

Be kind and compassionate, ready to counsel and comfort others during the holiday (2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Colossians 3:12).

CHOOSE LOVE.

We don't have to "sweat" the holidays because of stress. We can relax and choose biblical responses like trust, diligence, contentment, discernment, self-control and love that will bring us a greater measure of joy and peace.

What is causing you stress so far this holiday season? Which biblical response could help you today?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, at Revive Our Hearts, a blogger at TrueWoman.com, writes wiki-type posts at  Christianity.com, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

The Secret to Doing Hard Things

Kathy Carlton Willis is amazing. I've watched her go through a series of tough circumstances over the last few years, and she always manages to choose biblical responses as she teaches others how to deal with struggles as "God's Grin Gal." In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she shares her secret for doing hard things.

“I’m usually self-sufficient but lately I’ve realized more than ever that I’m not Wonder Woman,” Kathy says. “The demands of life not only highlight my weaknesses, but spotlight God’s strength.

Now I (Dawn) just shared how amazing Kathy is, but if you read her opening statement, you'll realize how humble she is before the Lord, always trusting His sovereign purposes. 

Kathy continues . . .

Everyone’s been talking about what a hard year 2020 has been. My personal worst day of an already bad year happened the day before Hurricane Delta hit our area.

My family sold our forever home to move to an area where my husband’s job landed him, and we dealt with many unknowns at once—more like didn’t deal with them.

The day finally came to load the last POD with belongings and hit the road.

Sometimes you gain life lessons through the worst experiences!

Here’s what I learned.

Don’t believe what they say a POD storage unit holds. 

We packed to the ceiling, but still had items that wouldn’t fit. So we had to leave behind multiple pieces of furniture. This day was a day of many mini goodbyes.

Packing and loading a POD with your mate will show you how well you work together and love each other. 

Russ and I passed that test!

I also learned I’m still strong physically and on the inside. Grateful for that strength to come through when I needed it.

One time when we flipped a heavy desk upside down to stack it on top of the washer and dryer, I turned to Russ and said, “We did this. We did this. We did this!

Sometimes you have to celebrate the immediate accomplishment before the entire goal is even completed.

Moving the day before a hurricane hits is not wise. 

Loading a POD while it’s lightly raining wasn’t great. But driving in a three-car caravan through almost zero-visibility on highways packed with merciless aggressive drivers evacuating the area is a nightmare.

My husband drove lead and went faster than we were comfortable following. He made a couple of turns not in the plans.

Mom drove in the middle and had a hard time seeing or keeping up with Russ. I was the caboose and my main job was to keep an eye on Mom and go where she went, even when she lost the lead car.

This meant pulling over three times for regrouping and calling Russ to reconnect. The phone map app in remote locations wasn’t reliable.

We truly got to the destination as a grace of God—I’m sure of it.

God can be trusted. 

When we were just two minutes down the road, physically exhausted from loading the POD, emotionally exhausted from saying goodbye to my forever home, and mentally exhausted from dealing with multiple challenges in addition to the weather, I whined to God.

I can’t do this.

God said, “Can you trust Me?”

Yes, Lord.

He said, “Don’t focus on what you can’t do, focus on trusting Me, and I’ll take care of the rest. I’ll get you there.”

Okay Lord.

For the 2.5 hour trip, I prayed . . . and prayed. 

You can do hard things. 

After enduring the above issues and getting to the destination, we had three vehicles to unload in the pouring down rain, making about twenty trips into our temporary dwelling place.

I was perfectly willing to get soaking wet and exert more physical energy and lifting compared to driving in those awful conditions.

Perspective can help you deal with yucky stuff by remembering something far worse.

Storms are called storms for a reason. 

The physical storm of Hurricane Delta was horrendous. Way worse than predicted. And going through it in a strange place was difficult.

We had three worn out frustrated people who craved space, all situated in tight quarters. Not ideal.

But we were safe. Safe in the storm.

 How to Do Hard Things

1. Trust God.

Without trusting Him, we’re actually trusting in ourselves. And sadly, we don’t have what it takes apart from God to get it done.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT).

2. Do the first thing.

Don’t try to tackle it all. Just do the step immediately in front of you. God will show you what it is.

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving (Psalm 28:7 NLT).

3. Keep going when it’s hard.

It might not get easier until it is OVER.

“The Lord says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name’ (Psalm 91:14 NLT).

4. Celebrate when to-do becomes ta-done.

In our eagerness to be productive, we often forget this step before moving on to the next thing.

This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24 NLT).

Your choices in hard times can spotlight the Lord’s strength and faithfulness.

What hard thing does God want you to do this week?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Look for 7 Trials Every Woman Faces, coming soon. Kathy is active as a book industry pro, and her coaching group, WordGirls, propels women toward their writing goals. She graduated with honors from Bible College and has served 30+ years in full-time ministry. Check out her Grin & Grow Break video devotions on social media. www.kathycarltonwillis.com

Graphic of PODS Storage Unit at Mobile Attic.

Graphic adapted of Hurricane Delta, courtesy of Wikipedia.

When 'NO' Costs You EVERYTHING

Kolleen Lucariello is a funny, practical, godly woman. I've learned much from her posts and insights. In this Character UPGRADE, she points us to a woman worth emulating—and it's not the woman you might think.

"She said no. She was a defiant wife who had disrespected her husband in front of a bunch of influential men," Kolleen said."I assumed I knew all I needed to know about her."

I (Dawn) appreciate Kolleen's thoughts about this "defiant wife." She's the often-overlooked woman in another woman's story—but she had character and dignity. Her defiance was likely a product of caution and discernment.

Kolleen continues . . .

I’d skim over this wife's part in the story of Esther because that’s what I’ve always been taught. My assumptions would be challenged when I saw her name this time, causing me to pause and consider the woman who said no. 

Queen Vashti, the beautiful wife of King Xerxes, said no.  

She was married to a man who loved power, praise and partying, and referred to himself as, “Xerxes the Great” and “king of kings.” 

In the first chapter of the book of Esther, we read about the party he hosted lasting 180 days. His motive for gathering the powerful leaders from around his empire may have been to bring consolidation and gain political support. 

What better way than to accomplish this than to display the wealth of his kingdom. King Xerxes liked to show off his possessions.

One was his queen, Vashti, who was a very beautiful woman (Esther 1:11). During this time in history, she really was just a possession. Some suggest Vashti may have been the daughter of another king Xerxes had formed an alliance with.

She was his trophy wife. 

Following his big bash, the king hosted a banquet for all of the people in Susa, which lasted for seven days (Esther 1:5). During this banquet, Queen Vashti was hosting her own party for the ladies of the land in the royal palace.  

As we read in the first chapter of Esther, the drinks were plentiful, and each man could drink what he wished (1:8). Can you imagine? Seven straight days of binge drinking? 

Then, on the seventh day, when the king’s heart was “merry with wine” (1:10), he summoned his beautiful wife, Vashti, to come “to him with the royal crown on her head. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman” (Esther 1:11, NLT). 

And then it happened.  

She refused his invitation.  

When I stop to consider the circumstances, I wonder:

• Was she being obstinate? 
• Was her intent to dishonor and disrespect her husband? 
• Or was there more to the story? 

Imagine yourself in a room full of drunken men and you are the center of attention.

The men in the room may not have dared to touch her—she was, after all, the queen. But they were drunk.

Perhaps her no was a refusal to be exploited.

Perhaps it was to avoid the risk of being undressed—even with just their eyes.  

Or was her no intended to protect her husband from the shame of what could happen. 

Yes, her denial would have embarrassed the king; however, her denial also may have protected his reputation. 

And let’s not forget, she was busy! She was in the middle of hosting her own party.  

Rather than disregard Vashti’s no, perhaps there is something we can learn from it. 

Does God want us to be honoring and respectful? Absolutely. But perhaps we say yes when He knows we should say no.

God has granted us the freedom to say no to any person, place or thing that would bring dishonor to Him—or us.

The truth is, our no might be the motivation God uses to spare another from a horrible tumble into sin. It also could be the catalyst He uses to bring about His plan and purpose.

Vashti’s no opened the door for Esther. 

Without the necessary no, we may find ourselves: 

• Overcommitted. 
• Trapped in toxic relationships.  
• Overburdened financially. 
• And yes, left with shame and guilt.   

It’s quite probable that we fail to speak our no because we fear what it might cost us.

I don’t deny a no can be costly; Vashti’s no cost her everything. She lost her position as queen.

But, what if—in that moment of decision for Vashti—she recognized that her worth did not come from her position as wife to the king of kings? 

She knew she was royalty. Maybe, that’s what gave her the strength she needed to say no to his request.  

Now, what if—in every moment of indecision we face—we recognize we too are royalty and our worth comes from the TRUE King of Kings. Would that give us the strength to say “no” to what God would consider inappropriate or offensive? 

Your worth is never dependent on opinion, social status, family genealogy or your bank account. Your worth is found through your identity in Jesus Christ.  

You are royalty!

We are royalty because we are daughters of God! 

“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12, NLT); and since we are His children, we are His "heirs" (Romans 8:17).  

Never be afraid to shout your no as you live to glorify the King of Kings. 

Regardless of the cost.  

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of thesoon-to-be-released #beYOU: Change Your Identity One Letter at a Time. Koleen is also Co-director of the women's ministry, Activ8Her: helping women to build confidence in leadership, become courageous in our faith, and create connection in relationship. Kolleen and her high school sweetheart, Pat, reside in Central New York. She's a mother of three married children and Mimi to six incredible grandkids. For more information about Kolleen, visit her website or activ8her.org.

Painting: "Vashti Refuses the King's Summons" by Edwin Long.

What Makes Bite-sized Upgrades Work?

I have written about UPGRADING our lives since 2013, and in that process, the Lord has shown me how to cooperate with Him to upgrade my own life.

In that process I've also learned an important lesson:  

Personal upgrades can be overwhelming.

It's true no matter what we're tackling:

• weight loss,
• toning our bodies,
• creating a more joyful or contented spirit,
• moving forward without fear toward a personal goal or dream,
• learning to be a better parent or grandparent,
• becoming a prayer warrior,
• making decisions that lead toward financial freedom,
• and a host of other upgrade choices!

In a very practical way, personal UPGRADES begin with a choice toward a goal, and then we break down that goal into small (bite-sized) action steps.

Case in point: I wrote on Facebook recently that helping some loved ones pack and move motivated me to clean out my home of my own overflow of "stuff."

I decided:

1. I no longer use or want many things that still are cluttering my shelves, cabinets and garage—why am I keeping them?
2. I want to move forward into new adventures and new ministries, and don't want to be "encumbered" by unnecessary and distracting clutter.
3. I do not want to leave so much "stuff" to my children to dispose of—so this became a "legacy issue" for me.

But considering this UPGRADE goal, I soon became overwhelmed with the thought of the "how" of making that change.

But then that old adage—"How do you eat an elephant?"—came to mind.

We "eat an elephant" one bite at a time!

One bite.

So what was my "one bite" for clearing out the clutter? I decided I could manage one box per week to Amvets or some other charity. That would equal 52 boxes of "clutter" and unused-but-useful items gone from my home in one year!

I am tackling weight loss the same way. Losing all the weight I need to lose is overwhelming, but I can choose bite-sized goals for each day.

I want to write a book this year. It feels daunting. But the Lord is giving me some bite-sized goals, and my "elephant" doesn't seem so huge.

Now this is not a new insight. The "eat an elephant" example has been around for a long time.

But what makes it powerful is when we take action.

Author Pam Farrel recently wrote about the many action steps the Proverbs 31 woman took that changed her life, enabled her to bless others, and earned her well-deserved praise.

Pam even wrote an action planner to encourage wise action steps.

We have to take that one bite... and another... and another.

The key to bite-sized actions making a difference is PERSEVERANCE!

We need to stick to it—or as Pam Farrel says—"Get It Done, Girl!"

• We can't make a resolution and forget it the next week.
• We can't make a decision and then back away.
• We can't set a goal and then suddenly think it doesn't matter.

Perseverance is a steady pursuit of a goal or a repeated action despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

It includes tenacity, determination, resolve, purposefulness, courage, endurance and staying power.

With that in mind, I will persevere in cleaning out my home, losing weight, and writing a book in 2019.

The Bible encourages in this regard. It speaks much about practical perseverance in the Christian life.

One of the scriptures currently motivating my life is to be a "doer" of the Word and not a "hearers"  only (James 1:22-24).

A successful life doesn't grow out of hearing and nodding in agreement or even expressing good intentions.

To be a success, we must take action and persevere.

Even when it's hard.

Even when it takes courage.

The more we persevere in our walk with God, the more God teaches and blesses us, and the Holy Spirit empowers us to continue to persevere! Christians should desire to persevere and cooperate with the Spirit as He works to change our hearts and make us more like Jesus!

Ask yourself this question:

"What is God trying to accomplish in my life, and how can I cooperate with Him in complete surrender and obedience?

Then ask,

"How can I make little decisions every day—bite-sized upgrades—to persevere in that cooperation?"

It is perseverance in the right direction and with effective actions that make our intended upgrades work!

What upgrades do you want to make this year? What bite-sized choice can you make today ... and tomorrow ... and all year long?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for Revive Our Hearts  and a writer at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in Southern California and have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Geralt at Pixabay.

Tough Choices to Live a Life of Integrity

Becky Harling is funny, insightful, and intensely passionate that women learn how to live in emotional and spiritual freedom. In this Character UPGRADE, she writes about the choice to live in integrity.

"We’ve all experienced the crushing disappointment of Christian leaders that we’ve admired who have failed morally," Becky says. "What exactly is a life of integrity and how do we insure that we live a life of integrity and finish well?"

I (Dawn) am heartbroken to know of Christian friends in places of leadership who chose sin over a life of integrity; but Becky's words of warning and encouragement aren't just for leaders—they are for all of us.

Becky continues . . . 

Steve’s parents came and visited us this past summer. Now near 90, their lives have been marked by steadfast integrity. As a result, the generations after them have been blessed.

As I’ve was thinking about how God has used their integrity, I read Psalm 101.

In this delightful, short Psalm, David gives us very specific choices we can make to live a life of integrity.

Now I have to warn you, some of these choices are TOUGH!

Honestly, they go against the grain of our human sinful nature; and at times, they’re downright inconvenient.

But, the payoff is the legacy of integrity that’s left for those who are following behind. I know that’s what I want to leave behind. What about you?

If you want to leave a legacy of integrity to those coming up behind you here are three choices from Psalm 101 that you can make now!

1. Praise God for His love and goodness continually.

“I will sing of your love and justice; to you, Lord, I will sing praise” (Psalm 101:1).

The Hebrew word for praise that’s used here speaks to a celebration, praising God with song. Every day should be a celebration of God’s amazing love and goodness, but often that’s not the case, because we focus our thoughts on what we don’t have or what we wish we had.

What if you began every day by thanking God and praising Him for His love and goodness in your life? My guess is that you would live a more positive life, and you’d definitely be on your way to a life of integrity.

When we focus on God’s love rather than on all the things that go wrong in life, we’re more likely to make positive decisions. We’re not as grumpy and cranky.  

The next time you’re tempted to complain or gripe about something, shift your focus to God’s faithful love. Watch how your spirit grows more joyful almost instantly.

I’ll never forget when my friend, Jill’s, dad was admitted to assisted living. Often during that season of life, folks become cranky and resentful. But not Jill’s dad!

When Jill called Ed to ask how he was doing, he responded exuberantly, “Jill! This place is awesome! It’s like a cruise ship. I love it!”

Every time, we went to visit Ed, we left encouraged. Even during the last months of his life while he was enduring pain, Ed talked about the goodness of God and nurtured a thankful spirit.

I don’t know about you, but that’s the way I want to be, and that means I have to nurture a thankful heart now!

2. Be careful what you set your sights on. 

“I will not look with approval on anything that is vile” (Psalm 101:3).

Immoral choices don’t just happen. They usually start with lustful thoughts that have been nurtured.

We need to be careful and exercise a heart of discernment about what we gaze on and fill our minds with.  Sometimes even the news is so graphic and argumentative that we need to shut it off.

When you’re watching T.V. or a movie, ask yourself,

“Is this helping me follow Jesus more closely, or is it creating anxiety, worry, fear or lust in me?”

3. Walk away from gossip and dissention. 

"Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate” (Psalm 101:5).

It’s so easy—you’re having coffee with friends, and one friend starts to “share” how frustrated they are with a different acquaintance.

They need to process. So you listen, and soon you’re drawn in to something more deadly than just processing a frustration.

Here’s the thing: we’re called to not have any part in slander.

So, what do you do? You could say something positive and walk away. You could change the topic. Or you could say, “I’m not comfortable cutting that person down. I don’t have all the facts, and I don’t want to be guilty of gossip.”

Friend, these are sometimes hard choices. It may seem that they’re not very big choices, and what do they really matter?

But they DO matter.

By making choices after God’s own heart, one choice after another, you’ll be building a life of integrity. 

Which of the three tough choices do you struggle with most? What can you do to upgrade your level of integrity?

Becky Harling. Authentic. Passionate. Funny. Insightful. Becky is a frequent speaker at conferences, retreats, and other venues. She is the author of Who Do You Say I Am?, Rewriting Your Emotional Script, Freedom from Performing, The 30 Day Praise Challenge and The 30 Day Praise Challenge for Parents. Becky is married to Steve Harling and has four adult kids and five grandkids. Visit her website and blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of qimono at Pixabay.