Help! I Feel Insecure!

Kathy Collard Miller is a truth seeker and truth teller, and she finds the truth that guides her life in the Word of God. In this Christian Growth UPGRADE, she offers wise, biblical counsel about insecurity.

"Feeling insecure is a common emotion and an attitude stemming from believe we are inferior," Kathy says. "What can we do about it?"

I (Dawn) never realized how insecure I was growing up, and I couldn't figure out the puzzle to make my insecurity go away! But just as Kathy shares, I finally discovered the biblical truths that helped me overcome my faulty beliefs.

Kathy continues . . .

I grew up thinking of myself as always guilty and always imperfect. I even thought God agreed with me.

But after I became a Christian at age 18, God began the slow process of showing me how He viewed me—as forgivable, worthwhile, and unconditionally loved. Little by little, my insecurity gave way to security.

Truth from several verses were a key part of this transformation.

1. Nothing can separate me from God—even my sin.

My insecurity had a lot to do with thinking God was waiting to see how well I performed before making my salvation "official."

Then I came across Ephesians 1:13a:

When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit (NIV).

When I was a teenager, it was popular to put melted wax on an envelope to seal it. I didn’t know that in biblical times, a scroll was closed with a wax seal to not only authenticate the scroll but also make sure no one broke open the important document. It was secure and safe from the information being changed by others.

In the same way, the gift of the Holy Spirit to us at the moment of salvation makes us secure and safe from the heart being deprived of its eternal spiritual inheritance.

2. God’s opinion of me is more important than the opinions of others.

A large part of my insecurity resulted from basing my worth and value upon the opinions of others. It won’t surprise you I’m a people pleaser.

I needed the approval of other people.

But Jesus’s example spoke volumes to me. At one point when He was pointing out why the Pharisees wouldn’t believe in Him, Jesus told them:

How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? (John 5:44 NIV).

When I realized I was more interested in someone else’s “glorious” opinion of me than God's, I knew the reason I was insecure: people’s opinions were fickle. I couldn’t control them or convince them.

When I became convinced God’s love for me never changed, I felt secure because Jesus died on the cross and declared, “It is finished.” It could never be changed.

3. God Is Faithful.

Insecurity is fueled by thinking I have to make God look good by my good behavior.

I carry the weight of God’s reputation on my shoulders. If I falter, I’m responsible for how other people view God.

This fear creates tension and stress.

That lie was dissipated for me when I read 2 Thessalonians 3:34:

But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command (NIV).

Interestingly, the Thessalonian believers were far from perfect. Paul was writing to them to get them back on the right path by reminding them God was the one who faithfully held them, strengthened them, and protected them.

Paul’s confidence wasn’t in believers “self-made security” but in God’s faithfulness. Then God would get the glory by keeping the true believers secure in Him.

       How to TRANSFORM Insecure Feelings & Attitudes

1. Look for the underlying causes.

Most often we are insecure because of wounds from our childhood and teen years. The comments of others and how we were treated communicated we weren’t valuable and important.

By rejecting those lies, we can push against acting as if they are true.

2. Use spiritual battle.

Insecure feelings can be overwhelming. By actively rebuking the lie with truth, the powerful feelings will diminish.

Say it out loud—“My Father God, you tell me I am valuable and important to you. That’s why you sent Jesus to die for me. I didn’t deserve His sacrifice but you made it possible because of your unconditional love for me.”

Repeat that truth over and over again, even if it’s many times a day.

3. Rehearse who God is.

Our security is based totally on the nature of God. He is faithful. He devised a salvation plan He wants to keep. He has a hold of you and me that cannot be broken.

We are secure in Christ because it brings glory to Him.

It really is possible to feel less insecure and more secure because of God’s unfathomable love!

What truth about your security will you repeat over and over again by faith?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 58 books and speaking in 35 states and nine foreign countries. Kathy’s newest book, co-written with her husband, Larry, is God’s Intriguing Questions: 60 New Testament Devotions Revealing Jesus’s Nature. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com; and check out her Amazon author page: https://www.amazon.com/Kathy-Collard-Miller/e/B001KMI10S/

Graphic adapted, courtesy of John Hain at Pixabay.

A Resolution Worth Keeping... More Vibrant Faith

Debbie W. Wilson has a big God, and she wants other to know Him too! In this Faith UPGRADE, she encourages us to take stock of our lives and determine whether our faith walk with the Lord is growing.

"After the holidays, diet centers and gyms fill up," Debbie says, "If our temporal bodies are worth investing in, what about our spiritual life?"

I (Dawn) think this is a good question. This January, instead of focusing on diet plans, I focused on spiritual truths that will build my life—and ultimately affect other things. That's Debbie's focus too. She  encourages spiritual growth in a key area—FAITH.

Debbie continues . . .

Some of us use the beginning of a new year as an opportunity to reflect on where we are in life and where we want to go. 2020 tested the faith of many of us in ways we couldn’t have previously imagined.

I lost a prayer partner who was also one of my closest friends. Many of my friends lost loved ones, not to COVID, but to accidents and other illnesses.

Add to this our national unrest. The hate and deception I saw in my country sickened and saddened me.

More than ever, we can no longer stand to limp along with weak faith. It’s time to strengthen the limbs that are weak.

Soft may be desirable in pillows and toilet paper, but soft faith won’t hold up in the times we find ourselves.

The Bible says, But the righteous will live by his faith (Habakkuk 2:4 NASB).

What are some of the rewards of strong faith? Recognizing the perils of fragile faith and the benefits of firm faith motivates me to persevere in strengthening my flabby faith muscles.

In what kind of condition is your faith?

Consider which traits on the following lists best describe where you are today.

Fragile Faith:

• Worries, frets, and forgets our Father already knows our needs (Matthew 6:30, Psalms 23:1);
• Is timid and fearful (Matthew 8:26);
• Is easily distracted (Matthew 14:30-31)
• Quickly forgets God’s history and character (Matthew 16:8-10);
• Has limited spiritual power (Matthew 17:18-21);
• Lives confined by more restrictions (Romans 14:1-2); and
  
• Lives by feelings and sight (Hebrews 10:38).

Firm Faith: 

• Believes what God says (Matthew 8:5-10);
• Heals body and soul (Matthew 9:2, 22, 29, 15:28; Mark 2:6);
• Restores our sight — literally in this passage, but also spiritually (Luke 18:35-43);
• Grows stronger in impossible circumstances (Romans 4:19-20);
• Expands our personal freedoms (Romans 14:23);
• Is demonstrated through obedience (Romans 16:26, Hebrews 11);
• Is based on God’s power, not man’s wisdom (1 Corinthians 2:5);
• Has Christ as its object (Galatians 2:20, Hebrews 12:2); and
  
• Is bold (2 Timothy 1:7).

In what areas are you doing well? In which areas do you need improvement?

Just as our bodies require fuel and exercise, so do our souls. Studying the Bible feeds our faith, but we must exercise that faith through obedience to stay strong and continue growing.

We need to create a plan to renew our minds daily and we must practice what we learn in order to exercise those faith muscles.

• WHEN will you read your Bible? — If it helps, write it on your daily calendar.
• WHAT will you read? — Choose a book of the Bible or a Bible study book that you will work through.
• WHERE will you meet with the Lord daily? —  Keep your Bible, journal, pens, and highlighters there.

Like all living things, faith requires constant care. Just as physical health requires good nutrition, rest, exercise, and daily hygiene so vibrant faith requires effort.

No one brushes her teeth and says, “Good, I never have to do that again!”

So it is with faith.

Moment by moment, opportunity by opportunity, we must choose to walk by faith, or, by default, we won’t. My desire this year is to consciously CHOOSE faith!

Let’s pray for each other, that this year will be a year of strong faith—faith that says, “Wow, what a Savior!”

Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well (3 John 1:2).

I don’t know what 2021 will bring. But those who are planted on the rock never need fear the storms.

Our rock never fails.

What is one habit you want to add or change in order to strengthen your faith this year?

Debbie W. Wilson, drawing from her walk with Christ and decades as a Christian counselor and Bible teacher, mixes insight and encouragement to inspire readers to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Give Yourself a Break, and Little Women, Big God. She and her husband Larry founded and run Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling, coaching, and Bible study ministry. Find free resources to refresh your faith at debbieWwilson.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Free-photos at Pixabay.

Nurturing Gratitude

Sally Ferguson has a tender heart, but she's no wimp; she is strong in the Lord! In this Thanksgiving and Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she reminds us we can always choose our attitudes, and when the going gets tough, nurturing gratitude is a healthy, godly choice."Testing pushes our limits, our boundaries and our comfort zones," Sally says.

And I (Dawn) don't like that kind of testing! But I know God has worked through difficulties in my own life, and as He worked in my heart, I found I could say "Thank You" for even those tough times.

Sally continues . . .

Trials remove our masks, our crutches and our vices.

When we have to roll up our sleeves and do the hard thing, we find a deeper reserve within: a strength endowed by the Lord.

Out of that reserve grows an abiding sense of gratitude for what God has given, and an underlying contentment, knowing God is in control.

• He is present.
• He is protective of His own.
• As my pastor-husband says, “God is always present and at work in our lives.”

In Philippians, Paul tells us his secret to contentment; he found strength provided by God.

A recent chain of events revealed that provision for me.

When my mom-in-love fractured her back, her stay in Covid-restricted rehab brought a drop in her ability to function and communicate. We felt helpless as we watched her decline from vitality to memory loss and dependence on others for everything she needed.

My journey from New York to Florida became more than a mission to help in desperate times. It became my heart’s cry to lean on God’s strength.

How do you NURTURE GRATITUDE in difficult times?

Here are some tips that help me:

1. Hum.

Music restores perspective when we lift up praise to the Lord. It’s hard to focus on your problems when words are lilting through your head.

2. Rest.

A nap can do wonders for an attitude adjustment. Curl up in a cozy blanket and float away to dreamland.

3. Exercise.

On a particularly frustrating day, I went for a long walk and paced out my frustrations. It was the change I needed.

How can you add movement to your day?

4. Eat.

What are you putting into your body? Sweets may give a temporary rush, but the sugar drop later can be devastating.

Try fresh fruit, veggie sticks, smoothies, nuts and cheese. Even if your appetite is suppressed by anxiety, healthy snacks and protein can boost your mood.

5. Talk.

Family members and friends are eager to help, but feel helpless to step into your chaos.

Share memories of happy times through phone calls and text messages when you can’t sit around the table and chat. Include them in your thought processes and find your load lighter because of linking arms in the battle.

In Redeeming Love, The Companion Study, Francine Rivers says we need to remind ourselves, “God is still in control.”

When I try that phrase after stating each problem, it turns the problem upside down:  My mom-in-love’s health is declining, but God is still in control.

What phrase can you insert?

"_______, but God is still in control."

I’m grateful for this time with my mom-in-love. We’re sharing memories as we have a nail spa, sing, and watch movies together. Painting her nails helps her feel grand when life isn’t so grand. We’re finding good in the midst of uncertainty and confusion.

One night after getting her in bed, she whispered in the dark, “What’s wrong with me?”

Her heart-wrenching questions mirror ours, as we find no easy answers.

It’s this phase of life in-between the known and the unknown.

Aging gives the benefit of hindsight and the wisdom that comes with experience. But, for some, it also gifts Alzheimer’s and achy bones, muscles that won’t cooperate and loss of buoyance.

How we navigate these passages may vary from one person to the next.

Francine Rivers says,

“When you are depressed, discouraged, or exhausted, find a quiet place to sit and reflect on the faithfulness of God. You may be in a momentary lull, but God is not... keep your mind focused on His goodness and faithfulness. He will never fail you.”

Over the last three months, I’ve been replenished by God’s faithfulness repeatedly.

2 Corinthians 9:11 has shown God’s generosity poured out through our family as we take this path together, and others come alongside us. The Lord stretches us and then equips us so we can bless His name. We are blessed by beautiful grace!

I told my friend Kathy, “I’m finding joy, because I know I’m right where the Lord wants me. I’m finding out I can do what I never thought I could, and that’s a great gift from the Lord.”

She said, “The Lord is empowering you with His strength to fulfill His purpose for this time. And it brings you joy! Wow!”

Yes, His grace is beautiful!

Has testing depleted your resources? Don’t be afraid, God’s grace shows up at the exact time you need it! Which of the five suggestions for nurturing gratitude could you try today?

Sally Ferguson is a caregiver for her dad and her grands, and writing a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in western New York with her hubby of 33 years. Look for her words at EzineArticles, AlmostAnAuthor, Upgrade with Dawn, Amazon and sallyferguson.net

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Junior Moran at Unsplash.

Inaccurate Perceptions & Faulty Assumptions

It's always fun to see how Kolleen Lucariello's mind works. She takes interesting life experiences and makes them "speak" God's truth into our lives. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she shares a story about trees and what she overlooked concerning their care.

"I’ve never had much of a ‘green-thumb'," Kolleen says. "I will admit that recently my eyes have been green with envy when I’ve witnessed what Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary defines as an “unusual ability to make plants grow.”

I (Dawn) have always joked that I have a "black thumb." I try, but I fail. Kolleen shares a possible reason for my failing, and makes a deeper application.

Kolleen continues . . .

Something tells me that if Merriam-Webster had a definition that read “an unusual ability to plant-it-and-forget-it,” I think you’d find my name.

Whatever I plant must be strong enough to survive with little care.

Do you remember the Ronco Rotisserie Grill‘s infomercial slogan? “Set it and forget it!” That is harmonious with the poor plants I acquire—I set them and forget them. 

That’s what happened to two pine trees we planted over twenty years ago.

We planted them within a small fenced-in pool area and never showed them another moment of care; they were left to fend for themselves.

The pine trees were never trimmed, pruned, or fertilized.

Actually, we never realized they were supposed to be trimmed and pruned until years later when a friend mentioned it.

Many advised us to remove them. Advice we ignored. 

The trees became the topic of conversation when our son brought his family to stay for the summer, and he suggested it was time to remove them. Suddenly, we had the opportunity to put years of talk into action.

Just like that—we didn’t know what to do.  

• I was hesitant. After all, they had been there for over 20 years.
• I was nervous. How would removing them impact the appearance of that little area?
• I felt guilty. My mother insinuated I was a tree killer.

But, after weeks of polling anyone willing to offer an opinion, we took the risk and pulled them out.

What a surprise we found! Once sections of the fence had been removed, it was obvious that what we’d seen with our eyes was different than what was actually happening within the tree.

What we believed was a healthy tree was actually a tree that had split into sections with only a bit of green on the end of the branches. Leaving bare, scraggly, ugly branches clutching to the trunk.

As I stood and watched the trees come down that day, I was struck by how inaccurate my perception had been about the health of the trees. All these years, I had a faulty assumption based solely on the outer appearance.

It can be easy to forget that what I spy with my little eye isn’t always as it appears. 

For example:

• We thought the trees were fine even though we never took time to inspect them.

In similar fashion, we like to give the perception that everything is “fine” even when it’s not.

How many times have you replied, “I’m fine,” when the truth was you were in such turmoil within that it took all of your strength to get out of bed that day?

Upon further inspection, it became apparent you were not fine. 

• We failed to recognize the reliance the trees had come to place upon the fence.

Removing the fence around the trees caused us to realize the trees had become reliant upon the fence for added support.

We run the risk of becoming a bit unstable whenever we attach ourselves to the wrong support system.

• We never gave the trees the proper care and attention they needed.

If we had attended to the trees over the years by pruning and trimming them, they would have grown into healthy trees.

The life of a follower of Christ is one of trimming and pruning, too. It’s how we remain healthy. 

Three important Upgrades

1. Become authentic in your struggles.

Jesus told us the truth sets people free (John 8:32), and we fulfill the law of Christ when we bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).

If you’re not fine, please tell someone you trust. 

2. Choose your support system wisely.

God reminded the Israelites numerous times, “it was I who”... brought... delivered... rescued... destroyed. God was their support.

He expects to be ours too. 

3. Understand your need for the proper care.

God is the Ultimate Gardener.

The Lord trims, prunes and shapes us as only He can.

If we’re going to become the person God intended, then we must allow the Gardner to do the necessary work. He prunes to produce the fruit He’s looking for—not the fruit of our preference or according to our liking, but His (John 15:1-9). 

The trees are gone and we like the change. However, I regret that our lack of awareness led to our failure to maintain them properly. If we had, they might have survived.

I suppose this is a lesson for us, too. Caring for one another properly involves: inspection, recognition, and attention; and that leads to growth!

Who can you attend to today?

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of the devotional book, The ABC's of Who God Says I Am; and as a speaker, she speaks into women's lives "one letter at a time." Kolleen and her high school sweetheart, Pat, reside in Central New York. She's a mother of three married children and Mimi to six incredible grandkids. For more information about Kolleen, visit her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Rondell Melling at Pixabay.

How to Rest from Fear and Worry

When I think of Debbie W. Wilson, the word "clarity" comes to mind. Debbie takes biblical truths and makes them clear and motivating, and helps readers see the Word of God from fresh perspectives. In this Faith UPGRADE, she points to many things we might fear, and one fear we might be overlooking to our detriment.

"Riots, the election, the coronavirus, and the general unrest in our country—not to mention the financial strain on those who still haven’t been able to return to normal work—are enough to strike fear in the most steadfast of heart," Debbie says.

"In addition to this, the normal challenges of life don’t take a vacation when a worldwide pandemic and national upheaval hit." 

Whew! As I (Dawn) read that list of upsets, I felt the tension rise! We really have been through a lot in 2020, haven't we? But we've learned a lot about how to respond too; and Debbie highlights a wonderful choice.

Debbie continues . . . 

The Bible tells us not to fear any of these things (Matt. 6:25-34). It does, however, tell us TO FEAR  something you may be overlooking.

God wants you and me to fear missing His REST!

Notice the warning.

God’s promise of entering his rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to experience it (Heb. 4:1 NLT).

Say what? Missing God’s rest hardly tops my list of fears. But, according to God’s Word, it should.

So let’s look at how to find rest from our fears.

How Do We Rest from Fear?

Hebrews chapter 4 uses Israel as an example of how we can miss God’s rest.

The rest God offers us is different from the rest He offered Israel.

But both hinge on faith.

God delivered Israel from mighty Pharaoh and promised to lead the nation into the Promised Land. The Promised Land flowed with milk and honey and provided protection.

But Israel listened to their fears instead of heeding God’s promise.

As a result, instead of picking juicy grapes, they ate manna all day—every day—for 40 years as they wandered in circles in the wilderness (Heb. 4:2-3).

If only they had believed God!

Listening to our FAITH will protect us from our fears.

Listening to our FEARS holds us in a wilderness of unrest.

What is rest?

• In the Old Testament God’s rest was an abundant LAND.
• In the New Testament God’s rest is an abundant LIFE.

Where do we find rest?

• In the Old Testament rest was found in a PLACE.
• In the New Testament rest is found in a PERSON.

Today, fear and worry drive us harder than any Egyptian taskmaster drove the Hebrew slaves. At least taskmasters slept, whereas worry will wake us up in the middle of the night.

Unlike Israel, we don’t have to leave the country, our jobs, or our circumstances to find relief from fear and worry. We only need to run to Jesus (Jn. 10:10; Jn. 16:33).

As unbelief kept the children of Israel wandering in the wilderness, so unbelief in our Lord’s daily care keeps us in restless turmoil.

Jesus used the example of a farm yoke to help us understand how our relationship with Him works:

Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light’ (Matt. 25:28-30 NLT).

Let Jesus teach you... so you can find His rest.

Are you listening to faith or your fears?

Debbie W. Wilson is an experienced Bible teacher and ministry leader. She enjoys equipping others in the areas of relationships, Bible study, Christian living, and discipleship. Known for her fresh insights and ability to make the Bible come alive, Debbie uses Spirit-filled encouragement to inspire her readers to trust God with their lives. Drawing from Hebrews 11, her latest book, Little Faith, Big God, shows readers how to live well and finish strong. Debbie enjoys dark chocolate, a good mystery, and the antics of her two standard poodles. Find free resources and connect with Debbie at debbieWwilson.com.