A Scriptural Attitude Adjustment

In this Attitude UPGRADE, Liz Cowen Furman, a speaker, author and artist who also runs a motel in Wyoming, tells how she changed her whole outlook on life by doing two simple things.

“I wanted—no, I needed—a serious attitude upgrade," Liz said, “But I didn’t know how to make it happen.”

Do you identify with her words, like I (Dawn) do? Have you ever needed a change of attitude but couldn’t summon the wisdom to make it happen?

Liz continues . . .

I used to read the Bible dutifully.

But our pastor suggested that, instead of making a bunch of New Year’s resolutions—as good as they might be—we consider a new approach.

He said “Get yourself a blank journal and start reading your Bible in Psalms. Read it with an eye for something that speaks to you. Then jot that verse in your journal and write a few lines about how it affects you or ask God to reveal something to you.”

Many times, I would get to the end of a chapter and realize I hadn’t heard a word of it, and would have to reread it.

Since I started this approach, I have fallen in love with the Scriptures. I started in the Psalms but have been through the whole Bible a couple of times now.

Reading the Bible, listening for something that spoke to me, made it feel like a letter written just to me.

Talk about attitude adjustment! A total game changer.

The second thing I did that fostered a new attitude happened quite by accident; except that I had been praying for help in this area, so maybe it was by design.

The members of the Bible Study I teach chose to study One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp. As part of that study we were instructed to write down 1,000 things we are thankful for.

We all thought this exercise would be an easy assignment.

I purchased blank journals for us to write these “easy to identify” blessings, and we began. The first couple hundred came easily, then we really had to start looking to write them down.

We asked ourselves, “What would you miss, if everything you didn’t thank God for was taken away?”

By the time I reached 1,000, I saw a blessing in almost everything in my life.

I have continued the exercise. I write five things a day I am thankful for, and plan to continue until Jesus calls me home. Knowing that I will be logging five every morning keeps me on the lookout for things that I appreciate. And, since whatever we focus on increases, this has been an amazing exercise.

I now see the silver lining in situations I would have thought terrible. I now notice and appreciate the many blessings showered on me daily by a God who loves me (and you) so much! Plus, I have a legacy of thankfulness to leave to my family.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says:

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

If your attitude needs a tweak as we start the New Year, as mine did a few years ago, may I suggest you try these two exercises, pray for help, and then watch what He will do to transform your outlook.

Start now! What are five things you are grateful for today?

Liz Cowen Furman is an author, artist, encourager, mentor, teacher and speaker. Writing is like the balm of Gilead for Liz. When she is not working on a book, she is writing articles and blogging. She has published three books, is a member of AWSA (Advanced Writer Speaker Association) and a graduate of Christian Communicator’s Conference. She has written humor for The Christian Pulse magazine and for AWSA’s Suicide Blog. Liz’s new Bible Study, Trusting God in Everything: A Bible Study for Women Who Wonder If They Can, released May 20, 2015. 

On-Purpose Thankfulness...in the Midst of Reality

Joan C. Webb and I have joked that we must have come from the same blueprint. We both care deeply about making intentional choices. In this special Thanksgiving UPGRADE, she encourages "on-purpose" thankfulness.

"When a holiday like Thanksgiving rolls around do you ever ruminate too much?

     Over what you did or didn’t do at the last family get-together?
     Or how your house or cooking skills don’t measure up?
     Or how others don’t help like they should?

"Perhaps different concerns bother you when you lay your head on your pillow at night," Joan says. "Like others (myself included) maybe you’d like to hush your racing mind and relax."    

Uh huh. Describes me (Dawn) perfectly.

Joan continues . . .

As a child I memorized Philippians 4:6-7:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 It seemed like such a wise way to live. I liked it.

Yet, I never dreamed how challenging it would be to pray, ask, thank, and experience peace. All while trying to manage relationships, hormones, major life decisions, job and financial challenges, health issues and inevitable disappointment.

What was Paul really saying to the people in the Philippian church (and you and me) in these verses?

After studying the original Greek, I think he’s encouraging us to—when we’re feeling annoyed and anxious about what happened yesterday or will happen tomorrow:

• Take full advantage of the grace-gift of prayer, available to us because of Christ’s rescuing work on the cross.
• Admit both unpleasant personal and corporate needs to God.
• Pause and slow down, offering the bold combination of requesting and gratitude as an act of worship.
• Do this intentionally with active, on-purpose thanksgiving.

But sometimes we wonder how to do this?

Here’s a practical habit to cultivate: Develop a Gratitude Journal.

1. Buy a simple spiral notebook.

Start slow—with one journal entry per week. You can expand to additional days later.

2. Name one thing you did recently that you’re thankful for.

This is a vital step in your gratitude process, yet you might find it the most challenging. It is for many.

We ask God to help us grow to be more like Christ; to be healthier emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically. Then, when there is evidence that God is working in us and we’re responding in obedience, we shrink from acknowledging the progress for fear that we’ll become too self-focused. Yet we negate a part of ourselves and who God is when we refuse to thank Him for what He’s doing in us.

You might write something like: 

• “I acknowledge that I’ve been working hard with preparations and need to rest. Thanks that I took time for a nap this weekend.”
• Or “I recognize that I finished this report early. I’m grateful.”
• Or “Thank you that I was honest with my spouse about my thoughts/feelings without yelling.” (Maybe for you, it was “without withdrawing,” because that—not yelling—is your normal non-helpful style.)

3. Then jot down one thing that someone else did that you’re grateful for.

This will be enlightening if you’re used to ruminating on how your boss, sister, spouse, parent disappoints or irritates you.

4. Last, list five things for which you’re grateful.

Your friend’s encouraging text. Last night’s rainbow. The new supplement you’ve started. That you had a headache-free day.

Will you exercise these intentional gratitude steps during this holiday season 2015? Maybe you’ll want to keep it beside your nightstand. Watch for signs of an increased sense of well-being and peace. And then thank God for that, as well.

Joan C. Webb is a speaker and author who has written thirteen books including The Relief of Imperfection: For Women Who Try Too Hard to Make It Just Right, The Intentional Woman and a devotion titled, It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. As a Life Coach who specializes in working with writers and communicators, Joan helps set people free to become who they were designed to be and from what holds them back. For more information about her books, services and teaching, visit www.joancwebb.com

Graphic adapted, young woman with book, Pixabay.

Just a Little Bit More

In this affluent society, we're always trying to add just a little bit more to our lives. More wealth. More stuff. More prestige. In this Thanksgiving Upgrade, Dawn Wilson encourages us to add a bit more gratitude.

Last summer, Sharon Jaynes wrote about I Thessalonians 5:18: Give thanks in all circumstances. "We read that verse and think it rather nice," Sharon wrote, "So we slap a sloppy coat of thanksgiving on life and go about our day. In reality, most of us are thankful for very little."

Instead of expressing gratitude, we complain. A lot.

I focused on not complaining this summer for one whole week. I didn't think I was a natural complainer. I've since discovered everyone is. It's that nasty sin nature rearing it's head.

That's why Paul instructs, "Do all things without murmurings (complaining) and disputings" (Philippians 2:14). Complaining devastated the the Israelites (Exodus 16:8; Numbers 11:1-4; Psalm 106:25; 1 Corinthians 10:10).

Complaining has many negative consequences. It messes up our relationships and conversations. It focuses on the negative, sees the worst, darkens our spirit and zaps our energy. Complaining increases stress; we just can't seem to "release" our grumbling. Even when we complain just to ourselves, we are essentially making excuses for our lack of gratitude.

So I'll admit it. I struggled with that week of "not complaining." I was surprised how many complaints entered my mind in such a short period.

I found it extremely difficult to stop complaining. Until I started thanking.

Thanksgiving made the difference. I was allowing God to transform my thinking (Romans 12:2).

Gratitude is a choice, and it can root out an ungrateful, murmuring, complaining spirit. We're not commanded in scripture to feel more grateful, but we are instructed to be thankful.

"Gratitude changes the lens through which we see circumstances in our little slice of time," Sharon said. "Thanksgiving changes our perspective despite broken dreams, broken relationships, tumultuous circumstances and unfulfilled longings."

Repeatedly in the Psalms, we observe David move from a place of depression or sharing his complaints with God to a better place. His perspective seems to change as he praises God or expresses gratitude:  

In Psalm 57, David complains that his soul "is in the midst of lions" (v. 4). His enemies are trying to destroy him. He's in pretty bad shape, emotionally.

Yet in verses 9-11, what a turnaround!

"I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!"

We see this same turnaround in Psalm 42:10-11 and Psalm 62:3-7. David consistently moved from grumbling and all sorts of negative emotions to praise and gratitude.  

He chose a different perspective and got a different result. And in that change of attitude, God was honored and glorified.

Another thing I discovered in my week of no complaining. Even a little bit of gratitude makes a difference.

Like a stream of light through an opening door, gratitude diffuses the darkness of our grumbling.

It's not slapping on "a sloppy coat of thanksgiving." It's getting honest with God about our needs, and then stopping to recognize God in the midst of our circumstances. To praise Him. To thank Him.

Think about the complaints you've made even this week. Can you add a bit more gratitude? Will you choose to thank God in your situation, even if you don't feel thankful?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the President of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Cultivate the Beauty of Gratitude at Home

There's nothing more precious in this culture of entitlement than a grateful, appreciative child, as we can see in this Parenting UPGRADE by Dawn Wilson.

I've learned a lot about parenting from the Word of God ... but also at Wal-mart.

What I mean is, I see examples of good parenting and poor parenting almost every time I shop there!

Two cases in point:

There was a little girl in the grocery section who whined constantly that she wanted this and that, wearing down her frazzled mom's nerves. I heard her a couple of aisles away, but ran into them in the cookie aisle.

Finally, the mother gave in and got her daughter the cookies she wanted. The whiney daughter didn't even say "thank you."

And you think she'd be satisfied. But no ... she started asking for more.

And then there was an adorable boy—same store, same day—a little older than the girl. I was in the toy department, looking for a hula hoop. The boy was waiting for his mom while she priced some beach toys.

"Mom, can I get this water gun?" he asked, fingering a big, powerful-looking, high-grade water cannon.

"Honey, you know we can't afford that right now," Mom said. "Maybe for your birthday."

"Yeah, I know," the boy said as he stood quietly by the cart.

Suddenly, the mom picked up two water pistols—much more affordable. "How about these?" she said, "one for you and one for Charlie."

The boy's mouth dropped open in a huge smile. "Thanks, Mom!"

Even though I overheard these two families' conversations, I could have guessed a lot about them without any words, simply by the spirit they communicated at the store.

I thought: Man, that girl was a pain, but I'd take that boy home in an instant! What a sweetie!

There's beauty and grace in gratitude, but an unthankful heart is just plain ugly.

Certainly we are to be grateful to God (Psalm 136:1; Colossians 3:17) and in the circumstances of life (1 Thessalonians 5:18; Ephesians 5:20); but we need to give thanks for and to people as well (Ephesians 1:16; Colossians 3:15). Many times this gratitude surfaces as pronouncing a blessing on others, or a willingness to repay them in kind because of what they have done for us (see 2 Samuel 2:6).

"Abounding in thanksgiving" is part of our walk of faith (Colossians 2:6-7); it should be evident in our lives.

I do believe some temperament types are more conducive to thankfulness, but gratitude can be cultivated by anyone. And parents have the responsibility to teach it to their children. To model it.

So how do we fight the "entitlement culture" and cultivate the beauty of gratitude at home?

It's E-E-E-E-E-asy.

1. Encourage appreciation for others in the home. Be intentional. Tell them why you love them. Thank them sincerely when they serve you or finish a task you've asked them to do.

2. Explain to your children how others serve them with time, effort, money and other resources. Make them more aware of things they can be grateful for in daily living.

3. Educate everyone in the family in how to write thank you notes (a lost art in modern culture), and how to tell someone "thank you" in a sincere, meaningful way.

4. Express gratitude (verbally or in a note) for the special things your family members and friends do for you - for their encouragement, counsel, gifts and other things you receive.

5. Enlist your family to create "thank you" gifts. Make small gift boxes or baskets for those who serve your family—your dentist or hairdresser, for example. (Note: Your payment is "expected" for services rendered; but you can always surpise those who serve you with "something extra.")

Create a larger basket for your pastor, pastor's wife, missionaries or leaders in parachurch organizations to share your appreciation for their ministry.

6. Extend gratitude even more ... to your children's teachers, their Sunday school teachers, community servants, people in your neighborhood, etc.

7. Empathize with those who are hurting, and notice when they "suffer well." Thank them for their godly example. (But don't stop ministering to those who hurt who are still struggling! They need encouragement, compassion and prayer!)

It's always a choice to cultivate the beauty of gratitude in our homes and in the lives of others. Who knows what will bloom in their lives!

Which of these "E"-asy tips for cultivating gratitude are you already doing? Something new you'd like to try?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the President of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

How to Cultivate Awe-titude

Joan C. Webb  is an intentional woman, and you can be an intentional woman too! In this Attitude UPGRADE, she shares a word she created that can help us all live more positive lives.

 “‘Thank you, Lord!’ I prayed. Yet my words,” Joan said, “felt inadequate to express what I thought about my joy-filled reality. While journaling, the coined word AWE-TITUDE plopped through my pen onto the page. Awe-titude—where awe and gratitude merge!”

Don’t you love that? When I saw this awesome word on Joan’s Facebook page, I (Dawn) knew she had to share it with our UPGRADE readers.

Joan continues …

I had sensed God by His Spirit whispering these shocking words, "Joan, ENOUGH! I'm not asking for more." (For a recovering perfectionistic over-achiever, this caused a “nice, but” war within me.)

Perhaps to assure me He wasn’t finished with me yet, God added, "Joan, the rest will be icing, so sweet. I’ve heard your heart’s longing to attend Bible School again. You’re right, it will take a miracle."

Why? Because I was a woman—too old, too un-credentialed and without the money or moral support I imagined I needed for such a thing.

Yet here I sat, thanking God for the miracle: I had been accepted at Phoenix Seminary. Awe-titude explained how I felt: In awe of who God is and what He had done for me; grateful that He’d moved me beyond disappointment and shame to thanksgiving joy.

I realize you may not identify with my particular life-long dream; but I share, trusting that God will connect you with your own story.

When Dawn first asked me to write on cultivating awe-titude, I started a mental list of various ways a woman could nurture a fertile place for awe-titude to germinate within her. Here are two effective ideas:

Idea #1. Cultivate an attitude of awe by intentionally naming the Lord’s numerous attributes, using the alphabet as a springboard.

I may pray “You are Almighty; Beautiful; Compassionate; My Defender; Everlasting; Forgiving; … Just … Wonderful. Reflecting on His awe-inspiring characteristics, my heart expands.

Idea #2. Utilize this three-part exercise regularly to cultivate the habit of gratitude.

(1) Jot down one personal acknowledgement. If you’re like me, you pray for God to change you and then often neglect to acknowledge when He does. Writing something like “I’m grateful I responded calmly instead of yelling at the kids today” helps soften your soul.

(2) Acknowledge another (spouse, child, parent, friend) by writing one way you’re thankful for him/her such as “I’m grateful that __________ did ___________.

(3) Name five things for which you’re grateful like your new pen, today’s sunshine, your job, God’s protection in traffic.

Even as I prepared the list, I realized there is no exact prescription for cultivating awe-titude. We don’t make it happen.

During the last few months my sense of awe-titude began to fade. I asked God about it and He surprised me with this thought: “Joan, you’re neglecting self-care.” I was overly-busy, working and studying without breaks. It affected my mental/emotional/physical/spiritual well-being.

I admit going back to school after 45 years (in addition to my normal ministry load) created a steep learning curve. It reminds me of other life transitions that are both awe-titude-producing and challenging: new motherhood, marriage, moving, starting a new job.

 Awe-titude is a gift God plants within us. We have the privilege of nourishing it.

Both the blessing of enjoyment and the capacity to enjoy are God’s gifts to us. Sometimes we experience awe-titude vividly. Sometimes it fades a little. That’s when we can accept God’s grace anew and give ourselves the “white space” of rest/relaxation and the time we need to “Be still [drop our arms, admit we’ve done enough at the moment] and pause to nourish the awe-titude seeds God has planted within us. (Psalm 46:10)  

This week, how will you nourish the seedling-gift of awe-titude that God has planted within you? Could you be sabotaging the cultivation of awe-titude in your life? How? Will you accept God’s grace anew and practice awe-titude?

Joan C. Webb is a speaker and author who has written thirteen books including The Relief of Imperfection: For Women Who Try Too Hard to Make It Just Right, The Intentional Woman and a devotional titled It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. As a Life Coach who specializes in working with writers and communicators, Joan helps set people free to become who they were designed to be and from what holds them back. For more information about her books, services and teaching, visit www.joancwebb.com.

Graphic image, adapted, Image courtesy of scottchan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net