10 Great Choices to Make Today

Leslie Vernick‘s wise counsel encourages women everywhere to live for God in freedom and abundance. In this Life UPGRADE, she encourages us to consider 10 simple but powerful choices we can make every day.

“God has given an important freedom to humankind,” Leslie says. “It’s the freedom to choose.”

Now anyone who knows me (Dawn) and my ministry (Heart Choices Ministries) will know Leslie had me at the word “choose.” In this post,* Leslie shows us how important choices are to God, and how they can change the direction of our lives; and then she offers 10 great choices you can make today … and every day.

Leslie continues …

The Bible gives us plenty of examples of individuals who made good choices and of others who made poor choices. We can learn from their example.

Eve chose to believe the serpent rather than believe God. She only looked at the moment (it looked good to eat and she wanted it), but the consequences of her choice affected the entire human race (Genesis 3:1-6).

Moses “chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward” (Hebrews 11:25-26).

Noah chose to believe God and built an ark, suffering the ridicule of his entire community for a season, but saving his family in the long run (Genesis 6-8).

Abram chose to believe God and it was counted unto him as righteousness (Genesis 15:6).

Esau chose to sell his inheritance for a pot of stew. He was living for the moment and made his decision on a temporary felt need—hunger (Genesis 25:29-34).  

The Israelites chose to believe the eight spies that feared the giants rather than Joshua and Caleb who trusted God (Numbers 13).

David chose to honor his commitment and loyalty as a subject of King Saul, even though Saul sought to kill him. When David had the chance to kill Saul, he chose not to, instead trusting God to deliver him and protect him (1 Samuel 18-24). 

Queen Vashti chose to say no to her drunken husband, King Xerxes when he commanded her to come to the palace to parade her beauty before the people and nobles (Esther 1). As a result she lost her position, but she kept her dignity.

Abigail chose to do the right thing and overruled her foolish husband’s orders when he refused to feed David’s men. She saved her family from disaster and David from sinning (1 Samuel 25). 

John the Baptist chose to stand for the truth rather than compromise with sin and lost his head (Mark 6:17-29); yet Jesus says of John that no human being has ever been greater than he (Matthew 11:11). 

Judas chose to wallow in self-hatred instead of choosing to repent after betraying Christ … he went out and hung himself (Matthew 27:3-5). 

Jesus, the very Son of God, chose to leave His heavenly kingdom and live among us. He wanted to show us who God was and what He was like. He chose to suffer and die on the cross so that one day we might live forever with Him.

"We can decide –

• to live in response to the abundance of God, and not under the dictatorship of our own poor needs.
• ... to live in the environment of a living God and not our own dying selves.
• ... to center ourselves in the God who generously gives and not in our own egos which greedily grab.”

Just like turning your steering wheel slightly will make a big difference in where your car ends up, making small but regular good choices can make a huge difference where your life ends up.  

Here are ten choices you can make today.

You can:

1. Choose to love, rather than hate.
2. Choose to smile, rather than frown.
3. Choose to build, rather than destroy.
4. Choose to persevere, rather than quit.
5. Choose to praise, rather than gossip.
6. Choose to heal, rather than wound.
7. Choose to give, rather than grasp.
8. Choose to act, rather than delay.
9. Choose to forgive, rather than curse.
10. Choose to pray, rather than despair.

Moses encourages the people of God with these words, “Now choose life, so that you and your children may live….” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

Which of these 10 abundant life choices can you make right now? Which would most change your current circumstances?

Leslie Vernick is a national and international speaker, author, licensed clinical social worker, consultant and relationship coach with an expertise on the subjects of personal and spiritual growth, marriage improvement, conflict resolution, depression, child abuse, destructive relationships and domestic violence. She has 25 years of experience helping people enrich the relationships that matter most! Visit her website!

* This post is excerpted from Chapter 6 of Leslie’s book, How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong. The “We can decide...” quote: Alice Gray, Steve Stephens, and John Van Diest, comps., Lists to Live By: For Everything that Really Matters (Sisters, Oreg.: Multomah, 1999), 215.

How to Be Your Own 'Thought Police'

Gail Purath has a gift. She can share huge concepts in a minimal number of words. (This Attitude UPGRADE about negative thinking is actually a combination of two of her posts at 1-Minute Bible Love Notes.)

“When you let your mind wander,” Gail says, “where does it go?”

Oh my. I (Dawn) have such a difficult time lassoing my thoughts. Do you? I really need Gail’s challenging words.

She continues ….

I don’t want to tell you how often mine heads straight to dirty thoughts—not porno, but bitter memories or worries or self-pity. This is especially true when I’m going through a difficulty. 

Did you know we speak at a rate of 120 words a minute, but we think negative thoughts at 1300 words a minute?

That means our thoughts can bury us in a pit of self-despair 10 times faster than spoken words.

No wonder Scripture says:

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

In other words, you can be your own Thought Police!”

So many of my problems begin in my thoughts. I think the worst about a situation or dwell on the negatives. I decide something is hopeless or meaningless and conclude I can’t be happy unless it changes.

There’s a two-step answer to the dilemma: “… we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

1. Take your thoughts captive—make a conscious decision to quit thinking negatively.

2. Make your thoughts obedient to Christ—dwell on God’s Truth.

For example:

• God can bring good out of every situation. (Romans 8:28)
• God will never, ever, EVER leave me. (Hebrews 13:5b)
• Peace comes by dwelling on good things. (Philippians 4:8)
• And no matter what else happens, I can rejoice in my salvation! (Philippians 3:8-9)

What are some practical ways to fight these negative thoughts?

1. You might memorize Bible verses related to your struggle with negative thinking.
2. You might interrupt negative thoughts by counting your blessings.
3. You might praise God when negative thoughts come.

Remember, most battles are won or lost in our minds. Fight the good fight against negative thinking.

Where does your mind wander? Are you are struggling with negative thoughts? Ask the Lord to help you implement His two-step solution.

Gail Purath has been married to her best friend for 42 years, living the life of a nomad here on earth (40 homes in 62 years), looking forward to her heavenly home. Mother of two, grammy of seven, Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Living in Uncertainty: Waiting on God

Julie Watson is a gifted woman who not only has technical expertise, she also has deep compassion for people who hurt. In this UPGRADE, she encourages us with powerful words about patience.

“Having patience, standing in line, waiting my turn … these are things I learned in kindergarten,” Julie says, “but still didn’t do well ... until now.” 

Watching Julie in her long waiting season has inspired me (Dawn) and taught me to trust God’s timing. But what I value most are the lessons God has taught her.

Julie continues…

I quit praying for patience long ago because I realized every time I did, I’d somehow get stuck behind the slowest drivers known to man!

God is not surprised by my impatience, but for my journey, He gave me something very special to wait for.

Nearly 17 years ago I married the man of my dreams. As most young couples do, we made plans for our future. Children were a part of that plan. However, life throws you curveballs, and mine came in the form of a slow growing type of ovarian cancer. Long story short, having children—natural children, that is—were no longer in our plans.

We were saddened, but not devastated. God had other plans … perfect plans!

Fast forward to Easter week 2013. Adoption was always something we wanted to do once we found out we couldn’t have children. It just took us a LONG time to get there.

When my husband and I separately received confirmation from God that it was time to move forward (on Good Friday of all days) we were READY! And, when I say ready, we literally prayed someone would drop a child onto our doorstep the next day!

Needless to say, adoption doesn’t work like that. We waited… and waited… and waited some more.

Living in uncertainty is never fun. Waiting for something I had wanted for so long stirred a whole range of new emotions, and I learned some things along the way:

1) Don’t ever stop talking to God—keep praying diligently for His will to be done and leave your own will out of it!

2) Don’t stop listening to God—keep reading His Word, be still and allow His truth to penetrate your heart! (Proverbs 4:11-13)

3) Don’t alienate yourself by shutting others out—keep your support team on standby; you’ll need their continuous encouragement and prayer!

4) Don’t hold in the anger, frustration or disappointment—keep it real and be honest with yourself and God. You can even yell at God; it doesn’t surprise Him and He can take it—plus it might be very cathartic for you!

5) Don’t doubt the path God placed you on—keep your eyes on the prize and persevere! (Isaiah 40:31; Jeremiah 17:7-8)

6) Don’t stop planning—keep your priorities straight, your routines normal and don’t stop living just because you don’t know when “that something” is coming! (Philippians 4:12-13)

So yes, I hate waiting (even still). But, I now see God’s handiwork in the wait. I know the wait will equip me for the task ahead. And, I know that if I trust God and wait on Him, He will accomplish great things in and through me (Jeremiah 29:11; Romans 8:28).

Lastly, even while writing this article God revealed to me why I needed to wait for what was coming.

We were about to embark on the hardest journey of our lives and marriage.

We chose to open our home to a sibling set of abused and neglected foster children who needed a ton of love. But what do they need almost as much as love? A mountain-sized amount of PATIENCE (1 Corinthians 13:4a).

Had I not gone through this waiting game, I never would have been ready for the most important job of my life: motherhood.

Are you waiting on God for something? How can you use this time to prepare (physically, emotionally, spiritually) for what’s to come?

Julie Watson has worked with pregnancy care centers over the years and is currently a Grant Writer. She and her husband Shawn are new parents to three beautiful children who have forever changed their lives. The process of becoming foster/adoptive parents was neither painless nor short, but was well worth the wait. They know these children were hand-picked by God to be their own, and plan to adopt as soon as they are legally allowed.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Upgrade Your Life While You Wait

I've been following what's happening in Kathy Carlton Willis' life, so I know this UPGRADE was born as a life message in her heart.

"No one eludes those pesky life on-hold challenges," Kathy says, "but everyone wants to know how to live through them without hating the wait."

Waiting. It's not something I (Dawn) have ever enjoyed. It's so hard for me to "wait for the Lord" and His goodness in my circumstances (Psalm 27:13-14). So I appreciate Kathy's "waiting wisdom."

She continues ...

Probably the hardest thing for me, and most of you, is the trial of hurry-up-and-wait. Left unchecked, it tests my patience, challenges my contentment, and sours my joy.

I have several God-and-me times yearly to evaluate the priorities He wants me to have, the goals He sets for me—you name it. The frustrating part comes when I think I have my marching orders from God and then something comes into my life that puts everything on hold.

I get so antsy to want to hurry up and do what God has planted as a burning passion in my life, but instead I have no choice but to wait. It feels like I’m expected to sit on my hands! I’m quite certain you can relate.

I’ve come to realize that the reason I hate the wait is because I feel like I have to make progress to please God. And I’ve been programmed to think I have to be doing something or see a situation moving in the right direction to count as progress.

I’m learning from back-to-back-to-back on-hold situations that it’s in the wait where we grow, others grow, and situations come together for a better outcome later on. Just because we can’t see the signs of progress doesn’t mean nothing good is going on.

Psalm 62:5 says, "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him" (NLT).

The wait is not a delay, it’s an on-purpose plateau to let what used to be catch up with what’s going to be in the future.

It’s just like losing weight. If we don’t allow for the plateaus when we diet, our skin doesn’t shrink up and we walk around like Shar Pei puppies. We don’t want saggy baggy skin, and we don’t want saggy baggy lives, either.

A life on hold isn’t a life delayed. It’s just not time yet.

What do you do about it when you hit a delay in your git-up-and-go? Does it derail you? Do you learn to be flexible? How do you cope? After you are no longer on hold, does hindsight help you find the blessing in the wait?

Perhaps you recognize a drama avoided by the delay or a travesty missed by the trial of waiting. Or maybe you see the results of a spiritual growth spurt that took place during the time you felt you were stalled out.

One of the exercises I learned to do during my latest life-on-hold period was to evaluate: What do I do that drains me? What energizes me?

God loves for us to accentuate those things that propel us rather than those things that drag us down. Think motors, not anchors. Of course, all work has aspects we don’t like—that’s why it’s called work! But it’s important to do something daily that gets us jazzed. Can you put your finger on that thing that makes your motor purr?

Delays are the beginning of grand adventures.

Join me today by asking yourself, “What attitude adjustment can I make today to help me get closer to the future God’s dreamed up just for me?”

Kathy Carlton Willis writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. She shines the light on issues that hold women back and inspires their own lightbulb moments. Almost a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books releasing over the next three years, including Grin with Grace with AMG Publishers. She and her husband/pastor, Russ, live in Texas. Learn more at: www.kathycarltonwillis.com/

Water What You Want to Live

Some time ago, Dawn Wilson walked behind her shed to retrieve some old flowerpots for new plants. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she shares what she saw and learned.

Imagine my surprise to find a tiny red pepper growing from a "dead" plant. I didn't realize a bit of water from our sprinkler was just barely reaching the flowerpot. It was just enough moisture to give life.

I've seen something like this before: a plant shooting up in the midst of dry, cracking soil; a flower growing in the cracks of pavement. In all these cases, it only takes a wee bit of moisture to spur the growth.

When I saw the little red pepper hanging there, looking like a little heart, I smiled. It was like the Lord was saying to me, "Water what you want to live."

I thought about that for some time.

What do I want to "come alive" in my life?

I could water my dreams, hopes and plans. That's certainly what the world would tell me to do. And it's not necessarily wrong — if that's what God wants me to do. I can "water" my life with intentionality, commitment and passion. And I may reap a good harvest.

But as I prayed, God spoke to me about watering His purposes in my life.

• Watering a pure heart and godly character.
• Watering humble service.
• Watering wisdom and discernment.
• Watering obedience.
• Watering any "deadness" in my soul and seeking God for revival.

It only took a little sprinkling of water to revive my dried-up pepper plant. I wondered what it would look like if I'd consistently showered that plant with my garden hose.

It only takes a little water to bring life out of seeming death.

For the Christian, water is the symbol of God's Word applied to our soul through the power of the Holy Spirit. And Jesus and the Holy Spirit are the sources of living water (John 4:10; 7:37-39).

Spiritually, when we water what we want to live with the "water of the Word"— reading and applying scripture to our lives and trusting the Spirit to apply in our hearts what Jesus has done for us, then: 

1. We recognize that God is ultimately the One who makes things grow (1 Corinthians 3:7).

2. We daily drink in the Word. (The more, the better!) The Word gives life (Psalm 119:50) and success (Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:1-3)

3. We surrender, through prayer and obedience, to the water's freeing, transforming (sanctifying) action (John 8:31-32; Ephesians 1:13-14; John 17:17).

4. We are strengthened in His Word (Psalm 119:28) and thoroughly equipped (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

5. We are "revived" (Psalm 119:25; 119:154; Nehemiah 9:3).

What do you need to water in your life so it will "come alive"? If you're not sure, ask God to show you what is "dried up" and needs a little sprinkling today.

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. In these ministries and as President of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry (NEWIM San Diego), Dawn encourages, edifies and energizes women with scripture so they can better enjoy life, bless others and honor God. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.