Go for Breadth ... and Depth (Part 2)

In my previous UPGRADE post, I (Dawn) encouraging people to remember both breadth and depth in life, and we focused on Breadth.

Once we get the Big Picture--a broader perspective and biblical priorities, we're ready to tackle the details.

CONCEPT #2:

GO for DEPTH!

What does focusing on details include?

1. Appropriate Strategies

• We need to block off some time alone with God in order to think clearly with Him and clarify where we're heading. Spiritual roadmaps help us arrive where we plan to go.
• Envision the goal. For the Christian, a worthy, biblical goal is to become like Jesus (Romans 8:29; 1 John 2:6). So, what is He like? What would He choose? How would He operate? (1 Corinthians 11:1; Ephesians 2:10)
• We might want to prepare ahead of time so we're not tempted or distracted by things that disrail us from our goals. Simply eliminating some options (Romans 13:14) can make the path to success clearer.
• Identify some actionable steps to take right away. Brainstorming with others will help generate creative ideas to move forward. Spiritual success comes step by step, choice by choice.

2. Accountability Stimulation

We have to find what motivates us to stay on target.

• It might be as simple as a weekly check-in or a chart to fill in.
• Or it might be a progress report or an evaluation conducted by someone in charge.
• For others, it's a promised reward!

3. Advocating Supporter

• We can all use a trustworthy "buddy" to bounce our ideas back and forth — hopefully a wise one who can help us recognize foolish thinking.
• We all need people who will encourage us, advise us, even fight for our success (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:24).
• In other words, we need some positive "cheerleaders" in our life.

For example, in the case of my dietary program:

• I have a number of strategies—some supplied by the nutritionist and some created on my own—to help me "stick with the program." I cleaned all the tempting food out of my cabinets and refrigerator and made choosing wisely a simple process.
• For accountability, I have regular meetings with my nutritionist and a worksheet sheet I've filled in that shows the foods I've eaten and the exercise I've done during the week.
• My nutritionist is a wonderful supporter of my efforts, and I have several encouraging "cheerleaders" in my family as well.

It's a process that will work for any Big Picture goals, whether it's tackling a bad habit or pushing toward a personal dream or ministry project.

The process is:

Strategize well - Stay accountable - Seek support!

As a Christ-follower, my best strategies come from God's Word and I am ultimately accountable to Him (Romans 14:12; 2 Corinthians 5:10). Even if no one on earth understands my struggle and comes alongside to cheer me on, I know the Lord is with me, desires my spiritual success and blesses me as I honor Him.

Sometimes we'll see results in the here and now. But when we don't see immediate results or those we seek, we must go back to the Big Picture where we know there will be lasting victories, fruitfulness and reward.

I struggle with a "besetting sin," as do all of us. Although I get small victories here and there and I see clear evidence that the Lord is changing my heart and behavior, I still mess up. I'm still human. I'm still a sinner.

But someday the final victory will come. God's Word tells me so! (1 Corinthians 15:57; Philippians 3:21a)

God the Father is making me like His Son. Having rescued me from sin's power, He is enabling me now to choose not to practice sin, and someday I will be completely transformed and free from even the presence of sin.

So if you are struggling today with your own "I still mess up" problem, consider these two questions:

Do you have the big picture clearly in mind? How can you tweak your strategies, design accountability that will motivate you, or find more support?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is on the board of Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry (NEWIM) and is a contracted researcher for Revive Our Hearts. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Go for Breadth ... and Depth (Part 1)

In this two-part Spiritual Life and Ministry UPGRADE, I'm (Dawn) encouraging people to remember both breadth and depth.

When it comes to life and ministry, let's not forget the "Big Picture" as we pursue goals.  Conversely, we don't want to miss important details either.

Some time ago, I launched into a dietary program with a certified nutritionist to improve my health. The program is fairly restrictive, and it didn't take me long to question whether I could hold the line with my food choices. (I know my usual self pretty well ... I'm a dieting wimp.)

I mentioned this at one meeting with the nutritionist, and she pulled me back into reality and willing accountability with four simple words: "Keep the big picture."

The big picture, she explained, would help me resist temptation and make better, more consistent choices. (I'm finding it also helps me fight the tendency to become a grace-free perfectionist.)

Remembering the big picture doesn't come naturally to me. I'm a detail gal. It's been said that Big Picture People are predominantly "right brained" and Detail People are predominantly "left brained." (It's no surprise I'm about three-fourths left-brained.)

We function best when we balance or strengthen both styles of thinking and learning, and there are techniques we can practice to make the changes we need. (Or we need to rub shoulders with our opposite and discover where we might be off base!)

I was thinking this week about the Big Picture of spiritual life and ministry, and how remembering the wide scope of our lives can alter our lifestyle and choices.

CONCEPT #1: GO for BREADTH!

What's the Big Picture for the Christian?

1. Broader Perspective

• The Big Picture involves both time and eternity (Ecclesiates 3:11; Colossians 3:1-2; Hebrews 12:1-2). It remembers, "This isn't all there is." Are we living in light of eternity?
• The Big Picture asks, "Can I do this and still stay in line with my goals?" but also, "What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind?" (Matthew 6:20-21; Deuteronomy 6:5-7; Psalm 145:4)
• The Big Picture seeks the Mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16), and discovers lies and mental limits that hinder us from becoming and doing what we were created to be and do.

2. Biblical Priorities

• The Big Picture includes God-centered priorities that almost always will differ from the culture.
• Living with eternity in mind will likely alter our priorities. We won't drift through life; we'll discipline our lives as we "seek first the kingdom of God" (Luke 12:29-31; Matthew 6:33).
• When we keep the big picture, we'll be more likely to chose priorities that matter to the Lord and please Him (2 Corinthians 5:9; Colossians 1:10; Romans 12:2) instead of constantly seeking earth's treasures (Luke 12:34).
• In practice, we'll seek God in the Word and make time for people who need to know the Lord. We'll spend time building our families. And we'll often make hard choices that go against the grain of culture.
  

Then, once we see the Big Picture, we're ready to tackle the details.

That's covered in Part 2 of "Go for Breadth ... and Depth."

How does having a broader perspective of life help you make better choices? Do your priorities change when you think about eternity?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is on the board of Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry (NEWIM) and is a contracted researcher for Revive Our Hearts. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Getting Through Your Grief

I met Yvonne Ortega at AWSA, a writer's and speaker's conference in 2015. I was so surprised by her persistent joy. So many struggles conspired to keep this woman of God down, but she emerged victorious. In this helpful Grief and Ministry UPGRADE, she shares her story and what she learned about grief.

"I’ll never forget that Thursday night after work in May," Yvonne said. "I read an email that said, 'I’m sorry to hear the news about your son Brian. Call me"

I called my friend in California and said, 'What news about Brian?'

"She thought I knew my only child had died unexpectedly after eye surgery. Living on the opposite coast, I didn’t. Tears gushed down my checks. I could hardly talk."

I (Dawn) cannot imagine this mother heart's pain! I wonder, if I knew Yvonne during those dark days, would I have known what to say? Yvonne has some wise counsel about that.

She continues . . .

That was six years ago within weeks after the loss of two aunts and my mother. I walked around in shellshock.

Reality set in one year later on Mother’s Day.

Without my mother and son, there would be no cards, calls, gifts or visits. Only AGONY!

Here are three tips that helped me get through the grief.

First, I realized I couldn’t do it alone.

I went to The Compassionate Friends, a support group for those who’ve lost a child. That group met monthly. I also went to GriefShare, a weekly support group for those who’ve lost a loved one. I received a GriefShare workbook and a devotional.

Second, I needed to be honest about my feelings.

I didn’t need to be strong. I wouldn’t ruin my testimony if I cried.

God made me with tear glands. Jesus wept when Lazarus died, and He knew He would raise him from the dead.

I clung to 2 Corinthians 1:3-4:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

As I poured my heartaches and struggles into my journal, I sensed God’s presence.

Third, I accepted the fact that some people would do better not saying anything.

Friends like Job’s said,

• “We all suffer little losses.” (How could the loss of my only child be little?)
• “At least you know he’s in heaven.” (I was doubled over in pain because he’d never walk through my front door again, never call me or send me a card again. I couldn’t call or visit him or send him a card or a gift either.)
• “I heard your son committed suicide.” (She heard a lie.)
• “Call me if you need me.” (I never called anyone who said that.)

Others knew what to say:

• “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
• “I will miss Brian.”
• “I’ll be over tomorrow at 1:00 pm to clean your house.”
• “I want to fix dinner for you tonight. Do you have food allergies or foods you dislike?”
• “I’m on the way to the post office. I can buy stamps for you.”
• “What can I pick up for you when I go to the grocery store?”
• “I’m going to the bookstore. If you need thank you notes, I’ll get them.”

I received God’s comfort and now share that comfort with others. I found peace and joy again, but not overnight.

If you’ve lost a loved one, what will you do this week to help you get through your grief?

If you know someone who is grieving, what can you say that’s helpful?

Yvonne Ortega is a licensed professonal counselor, a bilingual professional speaker and a speaking coach. She's the author of Moving from Broken to Beautiful: 9 Life Lessons to Help You Move Forward (2015) and Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer (2010). She has not only survived but also thrived after a domestic violence marriage, breast caner and the loss of her only child. With honesty and humor, Yvonne uses personal examples and the truths of the Bible to help women move from broken to beautiful.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

The Secret to COMPASS-ionate Ministry

Sue Badeau and her husband are two of the most compassionate people I know. In her Ministry UPGRADE, we can learn how to pursue more compassion as we serve the Lord.

"As travelers today, we use GPS so we’ll know where we’re going," Sue says, "Yet, I remember traveling with my husband and children using a map, highlighter and compass."

Ever get lost? The first time I (Dawn) got lost, I sure wished I had one! A "compass" can keep us on track in a lot of ways, and Sue describes an important compass for ministry.

She continues . . . 

There are many great needs in the world – people who are hungry, without clean water, abused, homeless, wounded – the list goes on and on. It's easy to become overwhelmed.

Jesus calls me to compassion, but where do I begin?In the face of such overwhelming need, can I make a difference?

Sometimes I wish I had a compass pointing me to the "true north" of showing Christ-like compassion in a hurting, chaotic and self-absorbed world.

     Compass.      Compassion.

These words don’t have the same roots in their original languages, but in English, the similarity gives me pause. Is there a compass to compassion?

Can I find and follow true north, tuning out noisy static and tempting distractions?

A compass is an "instrument for finding direction." God’s Word provides a compass, clearly laying directions to a compassionate life and ministry.

 “When He went ashore, He saw a large crowd, and felt compassion for them and healed their sick" (Matthew 14:14 NASB).

A Compass for Compassion

E (East): EMPATHY

Compassion begins with a deep feeling. Jesus felt compassion. He was moved.

No one person, family or church can meet all the needs they encounter. The first secret to a compassionate ministry is to tune-in to those needs that you feel deeply.

My husband once read a letter about refugees. He felt their plight so deeply he was moved to open our home to them. Later, he told me, "I didn’t even have to pray about that one; the letter itself was an answer to a prayer already inside me."

Of all the needs you see, which ones move you most deeply?

 S (South): SEEING

 Compassion requires seeing the humanity of all people, especially the suffering. Jesus saw first and then was moved. Compassion is never earned and rarely deserved.

The second secret to a compassionate ministry is to see people as precious children of God.

Twenty-five years ago, the woman who started the homeless shelter where my husband works encountered a beggar. She asked his name. He began to cry, saying that no one had asked his name in years. She was the first to see him.

That simple yet profound exchange began a ministry that has served thousands. It began when she was able to see as God sees.

W (West): "WHAT shall I do?"

 Compassion always moves us to action. Jesus saw people, felt compassion for them and acted.

The third secret to a compassionate ministry is to act.

Don’t get bogged down in planning, prayer and preparation. Act. DO something.

N (North): "NOT about me."

 Exercising compassion can be exhausting, overwhelming and seemingly thankless. Always remember: its not about me.

We are able to feel and act with compassion because Jesus showed us great compassion when we did not deserve it.

True north on the compassion compass will always and continually point to Jesus.

Do you want to have a compassionate ministry?

• Notice what moves you deeply.
• See the humanity and dignity of all people.
• Act on your feelings, and
• Always stay true to Jesus.

What is one example of a need that moves you deeply today? Are you ready to act upon your feelings with compassion?

Sue Badeau is a nationally-known speaker, author and child welfare and trauma expert. Sue and her husband Hector are lifetime parents of twenty-two children—two by birth and twenty adopted. They wrote the book Are We There Yet: The Ultimate Road Trip Adopting and Raising 22 Kids. Learn more about Sue at suebadeau.com and badeaufamily.com.

Graphic of compass adapted, from Pixabay.

Christmas Ministry That Makes Jesus Smile: Part 2

Yesterday, Dawn Wilson shared six creative ways to make Jesus smile as we think about Christmas ministry and outreach. In Part 2, here are four more ways to think outside the gift-wrapped box.

7. Share gift coupons.

Many fast food restaurants have inexpensive books of coupons. These can be purchased in bulk and kept in the car's glove compartment to share with the homeless or others in need. Clip them to a Christmas tract or New Testament.

Some beauty salons and barber shops offer coupons for free haircuts for the needy. What other kinds of gift coupons can you find to purchase and share?

8. Prepare Ziploc® Gift Bags ... or Purses.

The Bible tells us to be wise and prepared, not foolish and lazy (Proverbs 6:6-8).

When we are prepared to minister, God will give us opportunities.

Store some gift bags in your car for the homeless. Things that will be helpful to them to take care of themselves (new toothbrush and toothpaste, hand sanitizer, etc.). Add a couple of food bars and a tract or New Testament.

One variation on this is to purchase used-but-good purses at thrift stores and use them to store helpful items in your car trunk. (Since these are for women, add sanitary supplies.

I once had a young mom in a parking lot beg me (with tears) for sanitary supplies. We chatted as I walked her into the store to buy a good supply of them and was shocked when she told me she was using old ripped-up clothing she found in a dumpster!)

9. Relieve Some Christmas Fatigue.

Be alert to ways you can ease some stress in Jesus' name.

Offer a night or two of free childcare to a weary single mom so she can go Christmas shopping ... or just take a nap! Take a young mom or low-income widow (or widower) a ready-to-cook meal or two for their freezer. 

If you can afford it, ladies, give your pastor's wife or another church staff member's wife a visit to a spa! Christmastime can be super stressful on minister's wives. (If you can really afford it - go with her! You may need some relief too!)

Think about how God has comforted you in stresses and hurting times, and consider how you can extend the same kind of comfort to others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

10. Offer your expertise.

Use what you know!

• If you are a hairdresser, consider offering free haircuts to the homeless or the needy.
• Handymen can offer one hour of "fixing" things around the house to widows at their church.
• An auto mechanic might tweak someone's car.
• An organizer could help a "messie" get organized for the holidays.

Opportunities are directly linked to your God-given gifts, and your learned skills or expertise.

Consider this question: "What is in your hand?"

It's a question God challenged me with one Christmas season: "What's in your hand, Dawn? What is right in front of you that you can use for My glory?" It's a question God asked Moses (Exodus 4:2) to get him to notice what the Lord might use to perform miracles!

For Moses, it was his simple, everyday shepherd's staff. For me, it was my pen and computer. As a writer, I ended up helping a (writing-challenged) Christian friend write her Christmas newsletter that year. And a couple of times, I've helped a friend by researching a topic for a biblical presentation to use at her Christmas tea.

Whatever God has blessed you with, consider how He might want you to use it to bless others during the holiday.

What is in your hand?

Do you have other ideas for Christmas ministry that would make Jesus smile?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God(with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the Director of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, image courtesy of tiverylucky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.