10 Ways to Help Your Kids Cultivate a Missional Mindset

Stephanie Shott encourages moms with mentoring that is intentional and missional. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she offers suggestions to create missional thinking in our children.

“When my children were young, I desperately wanted them to embrace God’s call on their lives to be world changers.” Stephanie writes. “Maybe you’ve felt the same way too.”

Don’t think this is only for your children. I (Dawn) want to encourage a missional mindset in my grandchildren. And maybe you are in a position to mentor or teach children. This is valuable for you too.

Stephanie continues...

Raising children to live beyond themselves isn’t easy when so much of what they see and hear beckons them to make their lives all about themselves.

God’s Word says, “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too” … “And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God” (Philippians 2:4; Hebrews 13:16, NLT).   

So, while we know God’s Word calls us to a life that is focused on ministering to others, it is definitely easier said than done when it comes to teaching that to our children.

I want to share with you 10 ways you can help your children cultivate a missional mindset.

1. Have your children help you prepare and take food to a family in need.
2. Make one Saturday a month, Saturday Serve Day and look for a way to bless someone in your neighborhood. (mow the lawn, clean the house or hang out and chat with a shut-in from church, a single mom, or someone who is ill)
3. Let your children help you choose a local ministry to partner with for a weekly, monthly, or quarterly service project. (A homeless shelter, a children’s home, a nursing home, a hospital, etc...)
4. Create ways your children can earn money to purchase gifts for a missionary child who is living on the field and allow your children to help pick those gifts out.
5. Help them write cards of encouragement to their friends, to children in local hospitals, to widows or widowers, to missionaries, to a child you support through Compassion International or some other global ministry.
6. Teach your children of Jesus’ sacrificial love by taking them shopping for those who are unable to give anything in return.
7. Take them on an international mission trip where they can participate in feeding, clothing, and ministering to others in another country.
8. Make it a fun game to do “intentional” acts of kindness throughout each day. Allow them to help pick out someone to bless by buying their meal, giving them a small gift, or some small way to share the love of Jesus in a tangible way.
9. Help your children create a service project in your neighborhood, church, or in conjunction with another ministry. (i.e... organize a coat round-up for a homeless shelter, collect food, furniture, or money for a family in need, etc...)
10. Be a missional momma. Living on mission is more caught than taught. The joy that comes with giving is contagious. When you are mission-minded, your children will more likely be mission minded too.

When we model a missional mindset and create opportunities that will help them discover the joy of giving and ministering to others, they will never be the same.

How do YOU model a missional mindset to your children, grandchildren or the children in your church?

Stephanie Shott is the founder of The M.O.M. Initiative, a ministry devoted to making mentoring intentionally missional. She is an author and popular speaker who helps women live full, fearless and faithful lives. To invite Stephanie to speak at your next event, visit her website. Find out more about The M.O.M. Initiative or how to begin a M.O.M. Mentor Group at www.themominitiative.com.

Graphic in text adapted: Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net 

Plan B = Beautiful

My author/speaker friend Judy Scharfenberg has a quick smile and wit, but I truly grew to admire her as I observed her role as caregiver. I asked her to share this personal testimony as an Upgrade Your Attitudes post, because she exemplifies so clearly the "how to" of Christlike service.

"The ER nurse looked at me and said, 'You'd better call your family. Your husband is not going to survive!"

With those words, Judy's life turned upside down. But the Lord has a way of turning things rightside up for His glory ... when we trust Him. And that's what happened to Judy at this turning point of her life.

She continues ...

In the middle of the night my dear husband had a massive stroke. It was my worst nightmare come true. I was scared to death and could only cry silently, “Lord, I’m so afraid. Is my husband going to die?”  

Well, that nurse was wrong. Richard survived, and even though his speech returned beautifully, he came home in a wheelchair, paralyzed on one side. He needed my help dressing, bathing, getting in and out of bed, cutting up his food, help into the car and many other things.

This is the way things were going to be. I was now a caregiver.

Life changed dramatically in the Scharfenberg household. I didn’t have the freedom I once had; my life was built around Richard. We couldn’t do some of the things we used to do and everything took twice as long. I didn’t just have to get myself ready, I had to help get Richard ready too.

I wondered if I could live like this for the rest of my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t mad. I didn’t act ugly, but I was sad. I wanted my straight and tall husband taking care of me. I yearned for the days when he drove and I was the passenger. I wanted to take walks like we used to.  I wanted his arm around me at the movies and his help around the house.

I had to come to grips with this new life. It is not something either one of us chose, but it happened. 

A few years earlier I had memorized Romans 12. The first few verses rolled over and over in my mind: 

“I urge you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice which is your spiritual service of worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

I asked God to give me the strength, the joy, the peace that passes all understanding.

I truly wanted to serve my husband; I never wanted him to think he was a burden. 

It was a subtle change, and I can’t tell you when it happened, but one day I looked at this man and great joy rose up in my heart and I thanked God that he was alive and here with me. I thanked God that I could care for him and make his life easier. I thanked God that I could keep him clean, I could drive him places, I could read to him, I could make his favorite foods, I could literally lavish him with love and care.   

Oh, don’t get me wrong; we still had our disagreements just like everyone does. Richard came from stubborn German stock and I like control. Many times we butted heads over the way I did things. And then I would remember how confined he was.

I could encourage him or I could think about myself and make his life miserable. 

Former first lady Barbara Bush has a wonderful quote that I love.  She said, “You have two choices in life. You can either like it, or not. I chose to like it.”

I especially thanked God because I knew my feelings and my abilities are not normal. Only God could take this devastating experience and turn it around for His glory.

Our Plan B looked BEAUTIFUL.

God turned me into a giver instead of a taker. And you know, it really isn’t caregiving; it’s life-giving, for Richard and for me.

If you could see the future; if you knew your life would change overnight; what would you do differently today?

Judy Scharfenberg has a heart for women and families and has spoken at conferences, retreats and women’s events for more than 20 years. She was wife to Richard for more than 42 years—he passed on to heaven recently—and is the mom of six and proud grandma of 15. Judy will tell you she’s earned every strand of her gray hair. Her encouraging book, Secure Families in a Shaky World, was written for young wives and moms and older women who mentor younger women. Judy is currently working on a new book, Secure Marriages in a Shaky World. Visit Judy at www.judyscharfenberg.com.

Your Ministry Needs You to Make Time to Rest - Part 2

Yesterday, Melissa Mashburn shared some warning signs so we can determine if we need more “rest” in our ministry. Melissa ended with these words:

“I, I, I...me, me, me. What I can do on my own, without leaning on God or listening to what He wants me to do next. When what we really need to do is just lay it all down and give it back to Him. It’s not ours anyways. It’s always been His."

Melissa continues today with some “steps to get ourselves back on track.”

She says …

When you see yourself showing some of those signs that you are past due for some rest, here are three things you can do to help get back on track.

1. The first thing I do when I can tell that I haven’t made rest a priority is PRAY.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me (Psalm 51:10, ESV).

You can’t move forward on your own, so by inviting God to renew your spirit you have just humbled yourself before Him; and then, and only then, can you start to hear His will more clearly.

2. If you have hurt, offended or snapped at anyone because you’ve gone too long without rest, then stop and take a moment to go to that person and ask for forgiveness.

It is not always easy, but it is the right thing to do-for you, for them, and for your ministry.

3. Pull out your calendar—go ahead, grab it now while you are thinking about it—and schedule time to rest. I know, it might sound silly, but we schedule everything else, why not schedule in time to rest.

Rest looks different for different people.

Take some time to seek out what kind of rest you need:

• Sleep
• A good book
• A day at the spa
• An afternoon out shopping with your friends
• A day where you stay in your PJ’s all day
• Or time to work out and have some "you time"

Get it on the calendar now. Start small, but start.

Your ministry needs you to make time to rest. You can’t go at full speed all the time in ministry, it’s just not sustainable for the long haul.

Let’s look to the only One who lived a perfect life—Jesus. Even He took time to rest, to pull away, to seek solitude ... and He was Jesus!

Sweet friends, we have a lot of ministry left to do. Which of those signs that you are past due to rest resonated the most with you? What does rest look like for you?

You are doing a great work, but don’t forget that He is still doing a great work in you too. Make time to rest and your ministry will be all the better for it.

Oh yeah, there will still be stuff to do, things left uncrossed off your to-do list; but girl, this isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon and God has so much more in store for you.

What has God taught you about the kind of rest you need in ministry? Which of Melissa's three suggestions would make the biggest difference for you ... right now?

Melissa Mashburn is a southerner transplanted in South Florida. She’s been married 21 years to her best friend, Matt, and they have two teenage sons. Melissa’s heart is to encourage women to live with an authentic faith in their everyday, ordinary lives. Real Women. Real Life. Real Faith. is the heartbeat of her writing and ministry. Melissa is a pastor's wife and the Kids, Women's and Volunteer Ministry Director at her local church. As a speaker and author, she says she love “every crazy minute of ministry life.” You can find Melissa online at her blog and on Facebook.

Your Ministry Needs You to Make Time to Rest - Part 1

Melissa Mashburn is a busy pastor's wife. She understands the stresses of ministry and the need for rest. In this two-part post, Melissa calls us aside to UPGRADE our ministries.

Before she shares her heart about rest, Melissa quotes Madame Jeanne Guyon:

"Rest. Rest. Rest in God's love. The only work you are required now to do is to give your most intense attention to His still, small voice within.”

Five hundred and eight times, rest is mentioned in the Bible (NLT), yet it seems to be one of those things that gets pushed off the calendar for “another day” for most of us in ministry. The calendar is always overbooked with appointments, meetings, and discipleship and ministry events. The possibilities change day to day, and yet the heart of what we do remains the same–loving God, loving others.

Being in ministry for almost fifteen years, I have learned the hard way how important it is to make time to rest. I have run myself (and at times my family) ragged trying to meet all the demands that come with being in ministry.

The cherry on top of all that is that my husband is also in full-time ministry—which means, for our family, we both run at full speed all day long for the church and for those placed in our lives.

I absolutely love what I do. I consider it an honor to be used for His Kingdom in any means possible. Naturally, I already run at full speed most days. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But in the naivety of my youth while in ministry, I neglected to see the importance of making time to rest.

So here I am, bumped up, bruised and at times completely worn out.

Ministry is tough, people are complicated and it gets messy at times, but when you make time to rest in the midst of your ministry, you gain much needed perspective and time to renew.

If you are in ministry, whether at your local church or online, there are always going to be things that need to be done—that’s a given. What my heart is for you today is that you would be in your specific ministry for the long haul.

We need women who are passionately pursuing the purpose God has for them. Every single one of us has an important message to share, and unfortunately, I’ve witnessed far too many women in ministry who come out of the starting blocks charging full on, only to fall out of the race after a few short years because they didn’t make time to rest.

We need you, your family needs you, and the people God has placed around you need you for the long haul. So, let’s get real and practical here.

How do you know if you have already gone too long without making time to rest?

Signs You’re Past Due for Some Rest

• You are grumpy and/or moody.
• There is a general irritableness about you.
• You get frustrated or offended easily.
• It feels like everyone is out to get you.
• You feel like you are the only one working hard.
• You find it hard to pray for someone who has come to you for prayer.

Any or all of these could be a warning sign that you have gone too long without making time to rest.

 You know how I know? Because I have felt every single one of these things a time or two (or more) in my time in ministry. Um, yes … even as a pastor’s wife and ministry leader. I’m not proud of it, but if any part of what I have learned can help you as you go on your journey, then it is absolutely worth it.

Guess what happens as a result of any of those things listed above? Your ministry suffers. Your family suffers. Your own personal walk with God gets crowded out, because at that point you are no longer listening to His voice, but rather, your own.

It comes down to this: it’s a control issue.

If I can just... 

If I would...

When I get this done, then... 

I, I, I...me, me, me. What I can do on my own, without leaning on God or listening to what He wants me to do next? What we really need to do is just lay it all down and give it back to Him. It’s not ours anyways. It’s always been His.

Are you identifying with any of the six “Signs You’re Past Due for Some Rest”? Tomorrow, discover three things you can do to get back on track and get the rest you need.

Melissa Mashburn is a southerner transplanted in South Florida. She’s been married 21 years to her best friend, Matt, and they have two teenage sons. Melissa’s heart is to encourage women to live with an authentic faith in their everyday, ordinary lives. Real Women. Real Life. Real Faith. is the heartbeat of her writing and ministry. Melissa is a pastor's wife and the Kids, Women's and Volunteer Ministry Director at her local church. As a speaker and author, she says she love “every crazy minute of ministry life.” You can find Melissa online at her blog and on Facebook.

Holiday Hospitality: Reaching Out to Others

Diane Dean most certainly has the gift of hospitality. I asked her to share her heart concerning hospitality during the holidays.

“Hmmmmm,” she said. “I wonder if I have ever entertained an angel.”  (*Don't miss a special story at the end.)

Have you ever wondered that? I pretty much know who comes to my house, but I’ve often wondered if I’ve entertained an angel away from my home.

Diane continues …

Hebrews 13:2-3 says, "Do not forget or neglect or refuse to extend hospitality to strangers [in the brotherhood—being friendly, cordial, and gracious, sharing the comforts of your home and doing your part generously], for through it some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember those who are in prison as if you were their fellow prisoner, and those who are ill-treated, since you also are liable to bodily sufferings" (Amplified Bible).

When our children were young and my husband was a pastor, we would often have various groups in our home throughout the year. One of our favorites was the annual potluck with the "seniors" group from our church. They were called "The Live Wires" for good reason. 

They were a delightful group and we never knew what would happen. The ages ranged from 60 to 90+ years old. As we got to know them, we discovered that several of the women in the group had no relatives. They loved our children and were so appreciative of their attention.

At Christmas, we would bake cookies to take to those widows. We got all dressed up, went to their homes and sang a few carols. After several years, a couple of the ladies ended up in nursing homes. We continued the tradition, taking cookies. They enjoyed sharing their own goodies with the nurses and others who could eat sweets. 

We often found several of the nursing home "guests" sitting in the hallway in wheel chairs. As we walked by, some would reach out to touch our children. We learned that quite a few had no one to visit them so we would try and give a little attention to each.

Through the years, we have also looked for singles or couples who were alone for the holidays.  

We have included them in our family time when possible. Some have not shared our faith, but enjoyed being a part of our celebration and seeing our traditions. It was a pleasure for us.

We can also give to those who are struggling. We have anonymously left gifts on porches and had someone else deliver something to a friend in need. 

Even when we go through difficult times, there is always someone with a greater need. There is a sense of joy in reaching out to others and it gives a sense of gratitude for what we have.

If you invest in others, it can put your circumstances in perspective. Just think, you can make the difference in someone else's life! 

I have always felt that the Lord brings others into our lives for a reason. Our paths don't cross by accident. As you look around at those you know or those in need, consider what you can do to add value to their lives. The results will surprise you! 

Remember, God never made a “nobody,” and He didn't make us to be alone. It isn't always convenient or easy to reach out. It will costs us something in time or money. It will, however, be worth the effort.

Maybe I haven't reached out to an angel, but I hope in my feeble effort I have seen and loved people as God does.

Who are you going to reach out to this holiday season?

* "Once, an older couple called us out of the blue. We did not know them. They came from out of the country and said they were supposed to stay with someone else on the church staff. I don't know who gave them our phone number. The couple on the church staff was out of town on vacation. The visitors didn't have anywhere to stay. We gave them our bedroom for three nights and then they left.

When the church staff couple returned, we told them the story. They didn't know anything about our visitors. My husband Larry and I have always wondered about that visit! Were they angels?"

Diane Dean is a ministry wife, mother, grandmother, Bible teacher, seminar and retreat speaker, and designer for Diane Dean Interiors, LLC. Her blog, Diane's Traditions, is a potpourri of information from her personal experience and she welcomes questions.